It's not easy to call the base my home. The walls are cold but the people I love rest inside of them. Some others, well we're not going to talk about how I feel about them right now. I want this night to go as good as it can. Mike has been teasing me he has a surprise for me when I get home.

I thought I'd repay him and wear a nice dress to see him again. It was black, as all my clothes are, with a long slit up the side. It drove him crazy when I teased him with a peek of my legs like that. Most any of my dresses are like this but this one was different. It had beautiful crystals across the belt area which really classed it up. I say that like there's a damn thing about me that's classy.

Our flight got in pretty late, so nearly everyone was asleep. I didn't see a soul on my walk to the living quarters. Good. Fuck Ricky. He doesn't get a welcoming home from me. I went straight to my lover's room, opening the door quietly. Candles burned all along the dresser, desk, and nightstands. He actually cleaned his room for once too. There's a shocker. A trail of red rose petals was led back to the bathroom. I walked alongside them slowly, letting the sound of my heels clicking be a warning to him that I'm coming.

I pushed open the door slowly. Before I even registered anything else, I realized what I stepped on didn't feel like tile under my heels. Looking down, I saw blood at my feet. A pool of it, coming from Mike's body. He was unconscious on the bathroom floor, bleeding out from his stomach and head. My knees crumbled under me and I fell down beside him. I set my hand along his jawline to find his pulse.

As I turned his head towards me, I felt my heart fall out of my chest. There was a bullet wound dead center of his forehead. His mouth was covered in blood, telling me he must've coughed some up when he was first shot in the stomach. I leaned over his dead body with tears rushing down my face. My hands wrapped around him as I would when we rested in bed together. The only difference being he was so cold and when my head was on his chest, there was no heartbeat to lull me.

I closed my eyes, moments later hearing Ryan yell at me, "Devin!" He held my by my shoulders, shaking me, "Devin, wake up!"

Groggily, I opened my eyes. Looking around, I saw the motel surrounding us. I heaved a sigh and fell back into my pillow, "It was just a nightmare." I whispered to myself.

"You were crying in your sleep. I didn't want to wake you but whatever your were dreaming about, I doubt you wanted to be." He responded.

I sat up in bed, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around myself. Glancing at the clock, I saw it was 7AM. I should be getting up anyways. "I had a dream that when we got home, I walked into Mike's room to see him, and I found him murdered on the floor." I admitted, my voice dropping to a rasp, "It felt so real."

"You think you'll still be okay to come with me today?" He asked.

"I think so." I replied, "You're going to go see her?"

Ryan stared at the wall in front of him blankly as he buttoned up his shirt, "Yeah... I thought about what you said. I'll never have closure from my past if I don't do this." He picked up his wallet from the table, opening it for a brief moment. There was a picture of him and Reese in there. I'm not sure he wanted me to catch it, but I did. As he slipped his wallet into his back pocket, he said, "If I don't get closure for my past, I can't focus on my future."

I guess mister anti-love has a small bone in his body that does care. Reese will frustrate the fuck out of him constantly. She's always badgering him, causing the two to get in fights over their different views. Ryan has bought her flowers a few times. Not because he wanted to but because he needed to shut her up. She didn't care. Even if it took ripping his head off, she was happy anytime he gave her a shred of affection. Deep, deep, deep down, he loves her and wouldn't want to be without her.

Suppose you could say the same about Ricky and I. I'd never want him dead. I'd never want to know a day without him in it. Right now, I just don't want to admit I could still love him. He's burned me so badly. And in that dream, that nightmare, I couldn't help but think if it was real, Ricky would've been the one to kill Kuza. Truth be told, he'd have little to lose from it. Kuza is easily the most unpredictable one on the team. He doesn't always play well with others and well, he's a loose cannon. Ricky has to keep a close eye on him. He's an animal. Without Kuza, he could probably find a lot more trust in the rest of us. Okay, maybe not a lot, but some.

Ryan went off to find coffee while I did my makeup. We were in a really shitty part of town. There wasn't many people here. The ones that were here, they either kept their heads down, or they were on too many drugs to realize who we were. They were all too poor to have security cameras in their stores. Even if they did, Ryan carries a small transmitter that knocks out their signal when he's near them.

As I was finishing blending out my eyeshadow, he came back. He set a coffee on the bathroom counter for me. "Thanks." I told him.

"No problem." He responded, sitting back down on the bed.

"Those files Ricky let you have," I said, "I know you don't want to talk about them, but just answer me this one question. Who did they list as the most dangerous?"

Ryan took a drink off of his coffee, glancing up at me in the mirror. "You would've believe me if I told you."

I looked back at him with confusion, "Who would Ricky think was the most dangerous of all of us?"

"Ricky didn't make the list." He said, the quickly changed the subject, "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. Just let me put on some clothes." I responded.

After his comments about us always being watched, I wasn't going to take any chances. If he doesn't want to tell me, there has to be a reason. Could just be him that was shocked by it? Maybe, whomever it is that they chose as the most dangerous, isn't as shocking as he made it out to be. It's got to be Kuza or I. Maybe Chris. The others are rather docile people when they're not killing and they aren't too violent. Who knows. I think I need to take a break from questioning everything. The problem is, if you don't ask questions, that's how they manipulate you.

| | |

Damn, it's been a long ass time since I've been in a normal suburb. It was almost like the movies. Perfect looking families in pretty houses lined up. Kids played in the streets while moms gardened and dads worked in their garages. It felt too ideal. It sickened me. They may look perfect on the outside, but you know those dads are fucking their secretaries and those moms drink themselves into a bottle of wine every night. Nothing is as it seems.

I realized Ryan was transfixed on one house in particular. Two young girls ran towards the bus stop as their mom saw them off. She then kissed her husband, telling him to have a good day at work. He got in his car and drove off.

"That's her?" I asked softly.

"Yeah." He numbly responded.

She looked so cookie-cutter. So... Not Ryan's type. There wasn't a single piercing or tattoo anywhere on her body. He did say she was a cheerleader and you can tell. I'm surprised she kept her figure. Usually the popular girls get fat after high school. She walked back in her house, seeming just bright as sunshine. Yuck.

"Let me go first." I told him as I opened the car door.

"Be my guest." He muttered, following.

You'd be surprised how few people recognize us. I'm sure she's aware her ex boyfriend became a serial killer but I doubt she cared to know of some of his friends. Ryan was starting to remind me of Eeyore at this point. He was getting depressing. Murder doesn't have to be sad. It can be pretty fun if you go into it with a positive attitude.

I knocked on her door and she was quick to answer. Smiling warmly, I spoke, "Could you please do me a favor? Don't scream." I put my hand over her mouth and pushed her into the nearest wall, "It's so annoying when they scream. Now, I don't want to hurt you. I just want to talk. If you do scream, then I will hurt you. Are we clear?" I asked and she nodded. "I'm going to take my hand away now. Don't do anything stupid."

Slowly, I pulled my hand off of her mouth. I grabbed her phone out of her pocket and slipped it into my own. I'm glad she was cooperating. Maybe she wasn't the bimbo I took her for. Ryan calmly walked in, closing the door behind him. Bambi wasn't nearly as calm. She started to back up and shake like a rat in the winter.

"I don't want to hurt you, Bambi. I just wanted to come see you and talk." He said in his usual dead tone.

"What do you want from me?" She quavered.

"Dumb bitch," I snit, "He literally just said he wants to talk. So that's what you're going to do. I'll give you two some privacy."

"Where are you going to go?" Ryan asked.

"Hmm," I hummed as I started to walk towards the stairs, "I like exploring strangers' houses."

It was true. I don't get a chance to do it much but I like seeing how people live. It's rather interesting how some will choose to decorate. Not to mention some of the secrets you can find in places. Plus, it's not like I can walk into the mall to get new clothes. Let's see what this bitch has in her closet. I doubt she's got anything good but it's worth a shot. Mama needs a new dress. Something my Devil will want to tear off of me.

She had a nice stereo in her room. I turned on the radio, keeping it low enough it won't bother them. An old Kelly Clarkson song came on. One I just couldn't help myself from singing along to while I fished through her drawers. I'd never wear another woman's underwear. That's gross, but I could use another garter belt. Maybe some hose without runs in them if I can find them. Chris has ripped almost all of mine to shreds. Every time we fuck he has no mercy on me or my clothes.

"I never wish bad things, but I don't wish you well. Could you tell by the flames the burned your words, I never read your letter. 'Cause I knew what you'd say. Give me that Sunday school answer. Try make it all okay. Does it hurt? To know I'll never be there? Bet it sucks to see my face everywhere. It was you who chose to end it like you did. I was the last to know. You knew exactly what you were doing. Don't say you simply lost your way. She may believe you but I never will; Never Again."

Anything that I decided to keep, I threw onto the bed. She had a few bottles of perfume on her dresser but they all smelled stuffy. I explored the bathroom to see if I could find more. There were a few in the medicine cabinet, most of which were gross. She did have one in there that was pretty sexy. That would be mine now. I guess even the most stuck up bitches have to have sex too.

She had a few nice dresses towards the back of her closet. Hubby must have a nice job. There were a few nice formal dresses, some cocktail dresses. Not all of them were my thing but I figured I could give them to Ryan-Ashley if I don't want them. I'd offer them to Reese but that might be a little too weird. The last dress I pulled out was long, to the ground. It was the type of dress you'd wear somewhere formal. There was some gorgeous embroidery along the waistline and a nice slit up the side.

There was a fun length mirror in the corner of the room. I held the dress up to my figure, admiring how well it went with my dark makeup. Kuza will go nuts to see me in it.

"Never again will I hear you. Never again will I miss you. Never again will I fall to you. Never. Never again will I kiss you. Never again will I want to. Never again will I love you. Never."