While most of us had our rooms in the living quarters, Ryan had his in his lab. He's such a workaholic. After getting stitched up and continuing on with his rounds, he eventually went to bed. It was a small room hidden away in the back. I barely noticed the door until he had went through it. Kuza easily drifted off as soon as I put him to bed. I rubbed his shoulders and gave him sweet kisses. He was out like a light, which is what I wanted.

See, I've been texting Ricky a lot today without Kuza knowing. I know it's kind of wrong since we're dating but at the same time, Ricky is my husband. So, is it that wrong to go behind my lover's back with my own husband? Fuck, this is getting too complicated. That's why I'm just going to... go with the flow. I didn't want to hurt Kuza. He was asleep though, so he won't know.

Ricky text me as soon as he was at the door. I couldn't leave the lab because the cameras would see me sneak out. If they think I have a deadly infection, they wouldn't be too happy with me leaving. I very carefully opened the door and let him in. Then I held my finger up to my lips to tell him to be quiet. He smirked, letting me pull him by the hand through the lab.

This building is old, meaning there's plenty of hidden rooms around here. I pulled back the heavy iron door of one of those many areas. Ricky slipped in behind me and found the light switch. It was just a storage closet for chemicals, it looked like.

"Sorry, I don't want to wake Mike." I softly said.

"Uh-huh," He set his hands on my hips, "Is that it?"

"Totally." I grinned. Gently, I set my hand on his face, "I don't know what came over me but I just started missing you really badly today."

"I'm here now. I'll always be right there when you need me. I'm sorry for the things I did and said to you."

"It's... It's not your fault. You were possessed by a demon, after all. I can't blame you for that." I responded.

He sighed, "It's weird because it's not like they describe possession. People always say that it's like you know what you're doing but you're not in control. That's not how it went. When I was actually doing those things, I felt like me. I felt like I was the one doing them. Then, as soon as I woke up after Kuza bit me, I thought back on what I had done and I couldn't believe I did it." Ricky leaned his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. "I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"Ricky, Baby, it's okay. I hurt you, too. I'm sorry... Kuza was right. He told me I'd end up coming back to you and he was right." I admitted.

"He has no one to love him the way we love each other. For awhile, I left you in that same loneliness. I understand why you two started to see each other."

"You're right that he has no one to love him. I am the only one, and it's for that reason I hope you're okay with us continuing some sort of relationship. You're still my husband and I still love you, but he's going through a very difficult time right now. He needs someone to hold at night."

"A difficult time," Ricky murmured, "Yeah, I know how that goes."

"Oh, Ricky, I'm so stupid. I'm sorry. I... I should've been there for you when you lost your father. I was so selfish and treated you like shit. I of all people should know how that feels." I said.

"We've both made some mistakes. Let's stop talking about them. Let's talk about us." He grabbed my hand, "Are we... Together again? Or... How do you want to play this?"

"I married you for a reason. I love you. I need you, but Mike needs me more right now. I have to be there for him. I'm still going to be there for you, too. When I can. Ryan isn't letting me leave the lab for awhile, which means this might be the only time we get together for awhile."

"They why are we wasting it talking?" He asked. Ricky glanced down to my lips and back to my eyes, "Can I?"

I answered his question for him by kissing him before he could kiss me. It was so different from kissing Mike. There were sparked with both but they were worlds apart. Ricky's kiss made me feel on top of the world, whereas Kuza's makes me feel like I'm dancing in the fires of Hell. Both were so addicting. At the end of the day, I'm just an addict for both. Ricky is my cocaine and Kuza is my heroine.

Ricky's hand started to travel up my jawline, towards my scalp. His tongue explored my mouth. He tasted like cigarettes even though he'd quit a long time ago. It's not uncommon for ex-smokers to light up just once or twice when under stress. I wasn't mad at him for it. It gave me rush of old memories from those days on the run. He seemed to get a rush of something else but I'm not sure what it was. Ricky pushed me back and wiped his mouth as if he was ashamed.

"What do you want?" He numbly asked.

I pulled up my sleeve, which had gotten pushed down in the moment. "What? I want you. What do you mean what do I want?"

"I almost forgot what you said to me that night you left for Scranton. You told me you'd do anything to survive, even if it meant sucking a fed's cock. Those were your words, not mine." He scoffed, "The only reason you'd have to suddenly come back around this quickly would be because you want something."

Ricky didn't sound mad. He was just disappointed and done. Done with me, I don't think so. Done with being used is more like it. I'm not going to deny what I said but that doesn't mean I don't love him. There were a few times when we got in fights that I wanted to leave him. I was too worried to, for what he could do to my family. I used to think he saw them as family too. It seems more like they're just people he tolerates for my sake.

"I don't want anything aside from loving you. I'm sorry for what I said, but there were times I had to stick it out through rough patches for the others. I didn't want you to hurt them." I said.

"Take a good look at Angelo and Chris. The way Chris would do anything for him, how he'll snap into depression the second he's gone, I would never take that away from them to punish you. The same goes for the rest of them. They don't lie or cheat on me. The only person you're worried about is yourself."

There was a loud noise of metal creaking. Another door in the back opened. For fuck's sake, Ryan, how many goddamn secret doors do you need? You have a secret door in a room behind a secret door! He stayed leaned on the door, delivering us a less than happy look.

"I'd ask, but frankly, I don't give a flying fuck." Ryan deadpanned, "Mike just nearly had a heart attack. If I hadn't heard his monitors from my room, he would have. This room is soundproof. So, maybe next time you two want to sneak off, ask me first."

"Don't worry. It's not going to happen again." Ricky scorned, glaring at me.

"It's probably for the best that he doesn't see you were here. Go down this tunnel and take a right. There'll be a set of stairs. It'll lead you out to the second level of the hold." He replied.

That's all Ricky needed to run. He rushed past Ryan with a heavy sigh and was gone instantly. Great! Just great! It's my fault I got greedy. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. There was no way I could realistically maintain two very scorned relationships but I was sure as Hell going to try.

I pulled my phone out of my bra and used the camera as a mirror to check my makeup. It wasn't smeared too bad. "I should go check on him." I spoke as I put my phone away.

"Yeah, you should." Ryan snit, "He's been asking for you. He went into a panic when he couldn't find you."

"Why'd his heart start to act up?" I asked.

"As soon as he was alone, it came back for him. His heart started to pound so fast it almost exploded." He replied, letting the door close behind him.

I started to open the one I came in here through but he grabbed my hand. Not with his own hand, but with the dragon shaped silver head of his cane. I looked back at him as he drew in closer. Ryan pushed my head up with that dragon, looking into my eyes with his unsettling alien-like ones.

"It's not my business what others do but it is my business when it affects my patients. You were told not to leave Kuza's side and look what happened. Nonetheless, you did it to sneak off with the person that's put him in this position. Don't do this again."

I rolled my eyes at his overly dramatic nature, "How was I supposed to know that being in the next room was far enough for this demon thing to come back?"

"It only comes to people when they're alone." He responded, "I don't want your excuses because you have none. I've never had to show you my ugly side and I don't want to have to. So, please, for my sake, for Kuza's sake, and for your own sake, get your shit together."

"You don't scare me. Even if you had an ugly side, it wouldn't be as ugly as the others." I replied.

Ryan dropped his cane from my throat and gave me some breathing room. "Something I'd like you to take in consideration; I may not play with a full deck, but you've never seen the cards I do hold. By the way," He reached over and flipped a latch. The door I was leaned on swung back and I fell straight on my ass, "That door can open both directions."

He stepped over me calmly and continued towards Kuza's bed. With a groan and a glare towards him, I got myself to my feet. Fucking asshole. Ryan can be a great person but he's also capable of being a fucking bitch. That's about all he's able when it comes to intimidation. Try as he might, I'm not scared of him. He spent all his years in Graham writing on walls and muttering on about conspiracy theories. Someone like that won't be doing any torturing anytime soon.

"Thank you," He told Reese, "That's all I need."

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yes, Reese. I'm positive. You should go get yourself some sleep." He replied.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I really mean it, please. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Ryan set his hand on the small of her back as he began to walk her towards the door. "You've said sorry plenty of times."

"But you're not accepting my apology!" She pouted.

"Reese-"

"I apologized as much as I could and I even came down here when you needed me and I'm getting over the fact that you're never going to apologize! What else do you want from me?! I-"

"Reese!" Ryan slightly raised his voice out of annoyance. He sighed and brought it back down, "Goodnight."

He opened the door for her. She didn't take it too well and bowed her head upon leaving. I don't know what happens between those two when we're not around. They're typically secluded from the rest of us. For all I know, this could be typical of them, or it could be a massive meltdown. Whatever it may be, I wish I could shut her up when she whines like that. Ryan has his strange ways but he is a good human being. He's just got some interesting intents in life.