A/N: The episode last night was...I have strong opinions on it so comment or PM me with your opinions. But also, we still have the fact that Jonny still looks fucking attractive. 

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"I feel like I'm going to throw up," I groan, my head resting against the glass of the window of Jonny's car.

"You're not the one driving," he also complains and I roll my eyes as his phone rings "get that for me please,"

I comply and grab his phone, answering the phone "Beat you Pissface, I got here first!!" Adam's voice shouts out

"Not so loud," I groan

"Why've you got Jonny's phone?"

"He's driving arseface,"

"He'd better not tell mum that we're hungover!" Jonny shouts over

"Jonny says you'd better not tell you mother we're hungover, or your dad for that matter as he will definitely tell her,"

"I won't!" Adam responds before hanging up

"He's definitely going to tell them," I say to Jonny as he pulls up to the house and I get out

"He'd better not!" Jonny shouts from the backseat, grabbing our present bag for his mum and dad as I grab the keys he chucked to me and open the front door.

"Happy Christmas!" Jonny shouts as he enters and I slap his arm

"Merry Christmas sounds better! We had this discussion!"

"Sorry," he bends down to kiss me

"Merry Christmas Pissface and Pissface's girlfriend!" Adam shouts back at us, putting emphasis on the 'Merry'.

"I'll put the presents in the living room," I say, giving Jonny a kiss on the cheek and go to do so before going to join Jonny and his family in the Kitchen

"I make all this effort for Christmas and you're just gonna be moping around like Mr misery face feeling Crap!" Jackie shouts at Jonny

"I don't feel crap!" he then swallows down some puke and I nearly throw up from the sound

"Ew,"

"Immediately  proven wrong," Adam notes

"Oh, Lizzie!" Jackie exclaims, opening her arms for a hug which I accept "I'm so happy you could make it!"

"Yeah well, my mum decided her and my step-dad would rather be in Spain than with her own children," I watch Jonny and Adam argue over who's going to get Jonny some water which Adam somehow wins

"Aw," Jackie says sadly, hugging me a bit tighter

"Eh, my brothers have got their own family's and partners to worry about,"

"Well, you're always welcome here," she lets go and pats my back as Jonny spits the 'water' into the sink

"Ugh, you Bastard!"

"Hair of the dog!" Adam replies

"Adam!"

"This is Vodka?!" Jonny shouts and I take it from him, taking a small sip

"Oh, it is vodka," I nod before taking a large gulp, wincing as it goes down

"What -?" Adam starts

"One way to get over a hangover; Get more drunk," I explain as Martin comes in from the back door.

"The drains smell of feces again,"

"Lovely Martin. It's Christmas day!" Jackie sighs as Jonny drinks from the tap and Adam shoves a sponge in his mouth as Jonny tries to fight him off.

"So, who's coming today?" Adam asks, following his mum into the living room as me and Jonny join them.

"You know who's coming today! Grandma -"

"Cool,"

"And Horrible Grandma,"

"What?! I thought you said she was ill?!" I ask Jonny

"That's what mum told me!"

"Mm, she got better," Jackie says sadly

"Who's better?" Martin asks as he opens a bin bag

"You're mother,"

"Yeah I know, horrible Grandma,"

"I don't want to meet her," I groan, sitting on the arm of the sofa, leaning into Jonny as he wraps his arms around me

"How've you never met her before?" Adam asks, sitting on the actual sofa part next to me

"I just haven't" I shrug

"Last Christmas?"

"Was with my oldest brother and his family,"

"Christmas before that?"

"As far as you lot are aware, we haven't been dating that long," I mumble

"What?" Jackie asks and I pale, realising I wasn't supposed to say that

"Lizzie," Jonny groans

"You kept her a secret from us?"

"Maybe,"

"For how long?!" Jackie asks, shocked and upset

"About 6 months before I told you," Jonny mutters into my hair.

"Oh my God!" Jackie exclaims before storming out, Adam and Martin following.

"Sorry," I apologise and Jonny sits where Adam was

"It's cool," he pulls me into his lap and I lean my head on his shoulder

"I'm so tired," I mumble as he kisses my head

"You can nap on the way back home, or 2 minutes on the loo every time you go,"

"Lovely," I get off him and put my hand out for him to take, which he does "we should probably go socialise with your family,"

"Ugh," he groans and I smile, pecking his lips before leading him to the kitchen where I lean against the cupboard, Jonny behind me, detaching our hands yet then hugging me from behind, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Jonny, my turkey's not horrible and dry, is it?" Jackie asks when she sees him

"Not one bit," Jonny clearly lies

"Good, she'd better keep her mouth shut then," Jackie leaves smugly and Adam turns to Jonny and Martin

"It is dry though, isn't it?"

"Oh my god it's dry!" Jonny complains

"So dry," Martin gestures

"How bad could it actually be?" I ask the men

"Just you wait," Martin says, pointing around in his usual manor.

"And uh, bring the jug through, will you?" Jackie asks as she enters, then leaves

"I'll grab it!" I make Jonny let go of me then grab said Jug with two hands, bringing it to Jackie in the dining room.

"Oh my..." Jackie trials off, clearly noticing something

"What?"

"You're left hand," she gestures to where the promise ring sits on my ring finger

"Oh, it's not an engagement ring," I say quickly "It's a promise ring," Jackie still stands in shock "If he gave me a Pandora ring that most girls get regularly as an engagement ring, I'd be more than a bit pissed off," I joke. I know most girls own this exact ring, but it's the one I like and the fact Jonny even noticed the ring I like is good enough for me.

"A promise rings? So, you two will get married at some point?!" Jackie asks excitedly

"Um yeah," I say like it's the most obvious thing in the world

"I thought you two were going to break up a few months ago and now you've got a promise ring!"

"Oh, we did break up. I was mainly annoyed about him not telling me or quitting his job. He didn't actually do anything though so I'm okay now,"

"Really? It was quite a big thing -"

"I'm fine! But I won't be if you keep bringing it up. Also, It's Christmas!" I explain, gesturing to the decoration around the room "Also, I really need a wee," I go to leave the dining room then lean back through the door "Love the decoration,"

"Oh thanks sweetie!" Jackie's mood lightens and I go into the loo as she shouts for Adam.

When I exit the loo, I'm greeted by the back end of a tree in my face

"What the fu-?" I start

"The man with a van was practically giving them away!" Martin exclaims and I pull the door shut slightly so I can still hear what's happening but aren't being attacked by a tree.

"I don't care about the man with a van. It's not right!"

"Not right? But we do the turkey, we do the crackers,"

"Stop it Adam! That's different, this is just...Wrong!"

"Because...?"

"Because... We're Jewish,"

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"I hate it," Jackie tells Martin after him and the boys put the tree up

"You haven't even looked at it yet!"

"I am looking at it, and I hate it,"

"How can you hate a tree? It's like saying 'I hate air'!"

"He's got a point," I note

"Martin, it's horrible, get rid of it,"

"Are you mad?!"

"I just hate it! And you know who'll hate it the most?"

"Who?"

"You're mother!"

"Horrible grandma,"

"Oh yeah, she'll hate it," Jonny tells his father

"Yeah, well my mother hates everything,"

"True,"

"She hates the boys,"

"Also true,"

"She'll definitely hate Lizzie,"

"True,"

"Great," I groan

"Well you'll have to say it's Hanukah bush,"

"I'm not saying it's a Hanukah bush!" Jonny snorts, following his mother out the room.

"I'm not," Adam also leaves

"What's wrong with it?" Martin asks me and I shrug

"It is too tall for the room,"

"Yeah well..." Martin looks around "I'll just cut that bit off,"

"Brilliant,"

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"Hello Cynthia!" Jackie exclaims when we both step out into the driveway where Adam was holding a plate and Jonny a handbag.

"Give her some air, give her some air," Horrible grandma gestures to her dog, going to enter the house before stopping and staring at me

"Who're you?"

"Lizzie," I put my hand out for her to shake "Jonny's girlfriend,"

"Lizzie is short for Elizabeth hm?" She asks, taking my hand delicately before giving it a large yank which I match, not giving a fuck if she's old and frail

"Yes,"

"Lizzie's a prostitute name, it doesn't suit you. Stick with Elizabeth," and with that she lets go and walks into the house, everyone standing shocked

"That went better than expected actually," Adam notes

"I think she likes you," Jackie says in horror before we follow the woman into the house.

"She said my hair was slutty!" Grandma tells us before Jonny shuts the door.

"Dirty mirror," Horrible Grandma comments "where's my boy?"

"Hello mum," Martin comes down in actual human clothes now

"Well, don't you give your mother a kiss?" Martin complies and Horrible grandma stares him down "you're fatter,"

"Yes well er... Been eating the furniture," he laughs and I lean over to whisper in Jonny's ear

"Wouldn't surprise me," Jonny snorts loudly and everyone turns to him

"Martin, no one likes a smart arse," his own mother tells him

"Okay," Jonny drawls out

"Right, shall we," Jackie ushers us all through the house.

"Doesn't the house look lovely!" Grandma compliments as Martin helps her through to the living room

"All this fuss for a Christian holiday. We're supposed to be Jewish!"

"Um, what should I do with this?" Adam asks, holding up the plate he was holding

"Give it to her," Horrible Grandma gestures to Jackie and Adam awkwardly passes it to her

"What is it?"

"Are you still doing your Turkey this year?"

"Um, yes!"

"Well, I shall be eating that then," Horrible Grandma walks away and Jackie opens up the tin foil on the plate, then storms into the kitchen

"Go entertain my mother and Horrible Grandma please,"

"Ugh," the boys groan

"I'll do it," I tell them as they follow their mother and I walk into the Living room, sitting down on one of the puffs so I could see both women who were ignoring each other.

"Lizzie dear," Grandma starts

"Yeah?"

"You should let your hair down; it looks a bit..."

"No!" Horrible Grandma shouts and I jump slightly "You stupid woman! It looks nice like that," she gestures to my hair which is in a medium ponytail with a few baby hairs and the shorter front bits coming out "It looks very sophisticated,"

"Um thank you..." I try to think of what to refer to her as "Mrs Goodman,"

"Polite as well. Please call me Cynthia,"

"Okay," the door goes and I hear Jackie go to get it. I engage in small conversation before I get up and see who's at the door. When I get there, everyone else is also there.

"A little something for the festivities," Jim holds up an envelope and Jonny wraps his left arm around me.

"Aw, thank you Jim, you didn't need to," Jackie opens up the card "'From Jim and Wilson, your Best friends,"

"Best friends," Adam mutters sarcastically.

"And -"

"What is it?" Martin asks as she unfolds the small bits of paper

"It's uh, Thirty pounds,"

"Thirty pounds?"

"Yes, thirty pounds," Jim confirms

"Jim really that is..."

"Strange," Jonny suggests and I try to hold back a laugh, turning to look at the wall behind Adam.

"Unnecessary, "Jackie finishes

"Well, you see Wilson has sort of been his business in one of your drains recently."

"Has he?"

"Feces!" Mating tells his wife yet again, remembering the smell

"And the man said it would probably cost about thirty pounds to unblock it all so..." he smiles

"Right,"

"Thirty pounds," Jim finishes

"Thirty pounds," Jackie looks at it and it's silent before the others leave

"Deck the halls with bell of holly -!" Jim starts and I go to slowly shut the door, not wanting to slam it in his face

"Fa la la la la, la la la la," we both finish and I finally shut the door.

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I'm sat on the floor between Jonny and Jackie as Adam stands up with his new jumper on, playing a Christmas tune. I zone out slightly as I lean my head on Jonny's lap and he starts twirling parts of my hair which are in the ponytail.

A few minutes Later Horrible Grandma asks me to hand her her bag.

"Elizabeth, pass me that bag,"

"Okay," I mutter, trying to ignore the annoyance at being called by my full name, I pass it to her and her Jackie mutters something out presents before I sit back down just in time to see her take out a tank of oxygen

"Not presents," Jonny mutters to his mother

"Mum, I didn't know your Asthma had gotten that bad," Martin says

"Here my darling," she puts the mask over her dog

"Why're you putting -" I start

"Lungs. Rotted away they have, that's why her breath always smells of egg,"

"Oh," Jonny says with fake understanding as the dog starts making noises

"You want to do your business, don't you?" she asks it "I'll put her in the garden for a bit,"

"Okay..." Jackie responds, then taking a large gulp of her wine

"Let's get your panties off," she takes off the nappy and passes it to Adam "here. Go on" Adam looks reluctant "It's only a pee pee," Adam finally takes it "Martin, bring her," Horrible Grandma walks out and Martin grabs her leash

"I'll make sure the crows don't get to her,"

"Who, the dog or your mother?" Jackie laughs

"Here, put this on," Adam goes to shove the nappy in Jonny's face but I quickly kick his legs, causing him to fall back onto his seat and the nappy to fall onto hos own face. Jonny starts laughing uncontrollably, then proceeding to shove the nappy deeper into Adam's face.

"You're revolting!" Jackie laughs when Jonny finally let's go and Adam cleans his face.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Jackie goes to grab something "Jonnyboo, one more," she passes him a final present which is in gold wrapping paper.

"More?" he rips it open and slowly takes the grey jumper out "err..."

"Well try it on!" Jonny does so and stands up, staring at his mother in horror. I look up and see the dragon that's printed on the front "Well?" he looks down at me and I snort, seeing the dragon in full view.

"It's very fashionable," Adam jokes

"Ignore him, go look in the mirror," Jonny leaves to do so and I follow, going into the loo instead.

I come out as Adam storms into the living room and Jonny sighs "what's up?"

"I said I didn't like dragons," he explains, staring at himself in the mirror

"Ah,"

"What am I supposed to do with this?" he asks me and I give him a side hug

"I think you look cute,"

"You'd say that anyway," Jonny mumbles

"True. But at least I'll wear it at some point,"

Jonny leads me back into the living room and sits down "Sorry mum, I do still love dragons,"

"See, aw good boy," she kisses him on the check and Adam mocks her, going to do the same. I lean by the doorway before realising I didn't get all the pee out and sneaking off to the upstairs bathroom so I could take longer.

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"I didn't know Wilson had it in him," Jim continues to apologise as we all sit at the dining table. Jonny had quickly explained the dog incident when I came down from the loo.

"Boadicea did," Adam comments and him and Jonny fist bump and I smirk.

"Also, he had been drinking so..."

"Martin, would you show Jim out," Jackie asks and Martin complies

"Come on Jim,"

"Bye all!"

"Bye! Thanks for raping Grandma's dog," Jonny says and I smile

"On Christmas day," Adam adds.

"Sweet man," Grandma says

"Awful man," Horrible Grandma grumbles

Martin comes back in and we all start eating "Oh, I lost forgot," Horrible Grandma starts "Elizabeth, pass me your plate,"

"Um, sorry?"

"Oh, just do it,"

"Okay," I stand up and walk around the table as everyone watches me as Horrible Grandma takes some of her own turkey and places it over/next to Jackie's "I don't want you choking,"

"Right, thank you," I mutter, too polite to say no as Jackie glares and I sit back down, I mouth a 'sorry, I didn't want to be rude' to Jackie as everyone looks at me in shock. Jackie watches carefully as I pick a bit of her Turkey to eat instead, she nods and turns away. I try her's and everyone was right, it is dry. Everyone else is struggling and I swap the two-turkey bits around.

"Jon Jon, can I have a bit more water please?" Grandma asks

"And me,"

"Me too," everyone else asks as I eat the moist Turkey, Jackie stares us all down. As the others finish the whole glass.

"You really don't try any of my Turkey Cynthia?"

"No thank you, I'm happy with mine, it's nice and moist," Martin stares at the turkey on my plate and I snap my fingers by it to stop him.

"Well Jackie we love your Turkey, don't we?"

"Yeah," Jonny and I agree and I smile, pretending like I'm not eating the nice Turkey.

Stange gasping notices fill the room and we all look to Adam "Can't breathe," he chokes out.

"Oh my god!" Jackie exclaims

"Turkey's stuck. Turkey -"

"Do something Martin!" Jackie hits him

"It's okay Adam!" Martin runs around the table

"So dry -"

"Right then, come on," Martin picks Adam up sideways and starts shaking him, it would be funny of there wasn't a risk Adam could die. He starts breathing and Martin put him on the floor by Boadicea and puts the oxygen mask on him, Adam tries to protest but no one listens. Jonny starts pissing himself laughing.

"Give it back! Do you want to kill her?!" Horrible Grandma protests

"Yes please!" Jonny agrees

"Never mind the stupid dog!" Grandma shouts

"What?"

"Breathe in!" Martin instructs as Adam keeps thrashing about

"Breathe in all the lovely dog slobber!" Jonny shouts down which makes Jackie slap him.

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"Classic," Jonny laughs whilst we both dry up the plates Martin was washing and as Adam gargles some water.

"Oh, and uh, here's your mother's extra moist Turkey," Jackie brings the plate in and the three of them rush forward, I stay back considering I already ate some.

"Boys, you'd better -" Jackie trails off when she finds them shoving Turkey down their throats

"Right, lovely. Thanks a lot!"

"But Jackie we were just.... Testing it!" Martin lies

"Yeah, testing it," Adam agrees

"You'd better come in here, I think there's going to be a fight," the men go into the room and I take this time to eat more Turkey.

Later on, me and Jonny are leaning on the cooker, his left arm wrapped around me as we sip our tea from our mugs.

"You alright mum?"

"I'm okay Jackie," Grandma takes her tea

"Sorry Nellie," Martin apologises for his mum and for pouring water on her

"It's okay Martin,"

"Here Cynthia. You okay?" Jackie hands her a cup of tea when she enters. But instead of responding, Horrible grandma just glares and walks out.

"Lovely woman," I mutter and grandma goes after her

"Round two," Adam jokes and we all go into the dining room.

"Come on Cynthia, it's Christmas"

"You alright Grandma?" Adam asks her as she ignores everyone.

"Look, I've said I'm sorry Mum," Martin groans

"It's alright Martin, leave her," Grandma walks away

"Mum, cheer up please,"

"Maybe just leave her," Jackie suggests

"Wait, I what to do," Martin realises

"What?" '

"What?" Horrible Grandma finally speaks and Martin does wiggling hand movements and goes towards his mother who heavily protests. He starts to tickle her and she laughs uncontrollably. It's incredibly creepy and stage for a few seconds before we all join in, laughing at her not with her. Then, the tree falls down.

"Bloody tree!" Jackie exclaims as Jonny goes to put it back up

"Hanukah bush" Me and Adam correct

"Um grandma," Jonny starts, looking down at Boadicea "I think your dogs just died,"

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Martin carries Boudica out in the red blanket she was sat on, the boys follow and me, Jackie and Horrible Grandma stay at the door.

"Oh well, she did have a good life I suppose," Jackie tries

"Not really, her lungs were riddled with holes and she had an ulcerated colon,"

"Still..." I draw out.

Martin screams and comes out of the car "Shit on it! Shit on it!" he slams the door shut, holding his hand

"What happened?" Jackie asks

"The bleedin' thing's still alive!"

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I'm sat between Jonny's legs as he plays with my hair which I've now let down. Horrible Grandma fusses over her dog and Grandma asks for another Sherry,

"In a minute mum!"

"Hello all!" Jim's voice rings out and we all look to the doorway where he's standing in a father Christmas outfit "It's just, the back door was open,"

"You're dressed as -"

"Jesus!" Jonny exclaims when he sees Jim

"No, father Christmas,"

"Is that the same man from before?" Horrible Grandma asks me

"Different," everyone answers

"Good,"

"Do you do that every year?" Martin ask as Jackie bandages his hand.

"No, it's more of a disguise," he points to Horrible grandma "no, I just thought I'd bring you all a little peace offering because of the whole. You know... dog incident" he passes Jackie the blue bag he was holding and she takes it, pulling out an orange bottle.

"Orange squash?"

"You just add water!" Jim says happily, excited by the idea.

"Are you all on your own today?" Jackie asks once she puts the squash down.

"Oh, got Wilson back at the house. So...."

"It's Christmas day," I say sadly, realising how lonely Jim really is

"Christmas day!" Jim starts to leave and Jackie looks at us

"Do you fancy a mince pie?" she asks

"Oh Jackie, a mince pie with you," he says it almost identically to the way he did when she invited him to dinner "and the others," he sits on a puff "how exciting!"

"Here," I pass him a plate and he take a mince pie off it

"Thank you. I'm still a different man," he starts eating it very strangely and I hold back a smile.

"Um Jim, you know I said we don't really do carols?" Jackie starts

"Because you're of the Jewish persuasion,"

"That's right. Well, I was wondering how you would feel about.... Maybe singing us one,"

"Singing you a carol? A Christmas carol?" we all nod "I suppose I could perhaps, try this one. 

Silent night, holy night

All is calm, all is bright

'Round yon virgin mother..."

He trails off slightly and looks around for help so I start mouthing the words slowly for him

"... and child

Holy infant so tender and mild

Sleep in heavenly peace

Sleep in heavenly peace"

"Beautiful," Jackie comments, tears in her eyes

"Beautiful," Says Grandma as well

"Really beautiful," Horrible grandma finishes.

"Yeah," Martin agrees

"Yeah," Me and the boys chorus.

"Thanks Jim," Jackie wipes a tear from her eyes. I look to my left where Boudica lies, no longer breathing.

"Cynthia..." she looks to mesmiling "Your dog's died gain,"