A/N: So, guess who's school hasn't shut down yet but it's very likely so more updates may be coming out. It's me.

I got a bit bored writing this chapter and had incredible stomach issues, but I wanted this done so some parts are rushed. The lines may not be perfect but the sight I use for scripts isn't working so It took me twice as long to write this chapter as I ad to watch and write. Sorry!

Also, I know how annoying these notices get, but comments and votes really do motivate me (especially comments), it's nice to know someone cares enough to even leave a short message or emoji.

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Me and Jonny are helping set the dining table when we hear Adam enter.

"Alright pussface?" Jonny walks past with a jug of water and I sit on the stairs.

"Pissface, Pissface's girlfriend," Adam greets us "Hi Mum!" he shouts to Jackie and she responds "Is grandma here? Is she coming?"

"Oh, she's coming alright," I tell him, standing and following Jonny into the kitchen

"And you'll never guess who with,"

"How am I supposed to know who grandma's coming with,"

"Hi mum," Adam kisses her cheek and she greets him

"Hi bobble!

"One minute..." Adam starts and I smirk before jumping onto the counter "you don't mean...?"

"Her new boyfriend!" Jonny tells him in excitement

"Oh my god, we're gonna meet grandma's new boyfriend," Adam comes over and high fives both me and Jonny

"I've told you, Mr Morris is not her new boyfriend, he's her -"

"Male companion!" we all chorus

"Exactly,"

"Male prostitute," Jonny jokes before squirting cream into his mouth

"Stop it!"

Martin comes in with his rocks again and starts eating

"When will they get here anyway? We came early for this," I had the day off so me and Jonny came far earlier than needed so have just been hiding in Martin's shed for a while

"Good question, they were supposed to be here - Martin, you do know that's butter you're eating?"

"What?" he says between mouthfuls

"They're cubes of butter," she says louder

"Oh, I thought it was cheese,"

Jackie sighs "and put a shirt on, I doubt Mr Morris will want to see your hairy huddlers,"

"Well," Jonny starts "he sees grandma's"

"Charming," I joke

"Oh god, Grandma with a man," Adam shudders "ugh,"

"Yeah, ugh" Jonny copies him

"What do you mean 'ugh'?" Jack asks

"Yeah boys, what's wrong with your grandma going with men,"

"Lovely way of putting it," Jackie glares at Martin

"They're both prostitutes?" I joke "could write a book about that,"

"Thank you, Lizzie," she groans sarcastically

"Well, she obviously went with a man to form you,"

"Nice image,"

"Thank you, Martin, thank you all very much," she leaves muttering "This family"

"Tastes like cheese," Martin keeps eating the butter

"Go after her," I gesture to the boys

"What?" they look at me cluelessly

"She's obviously upset about her mum being with someone after her dad,"

"Oh," they both run off to follow her.

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After Grandma's new 'life partner' drove into the house, we were all sat in the living room when he came out of the loo, Grandma having already asked for two drinks.

"Delightful bathroom!" he compliments

"Oh, thank you!" Jackie says shocked "would you like a drink Mr Morris..." she then thinks about it "eh, Lou?"

"There was no hand towel," he continues

"Oh, I am sorry,"

"I had to dry my hands on the curtains," he tells us with a smirk on his face, smug bastard "what else could I do?"

"Not dry your hands on the curtains," Jonny whispers to me and I nod.

"He's very clean," Grandma explains

"Hygienical," Mr Morris 'corrects'

"Would you like a drink, Mr Morris?"

"I'll have champagne,"

"Champagne?"

"For this special occasion,"

"Christ," I mutter lowly and both Adam and Jonny look at me

"I don't think we have any champagne," Jackie tells him

"Yes, we do, in the fridge," Jackie mutters something to Martin and it's clear that bottle is for more important occasions than this.

"Even better, the special bottle of champagne! You know, your mother makes me very happy. Look," he starts to snog her and it's quite revolting, after a few second Jonny stands

"I'm gonna get the drinks,"

"So am I!"

"Same!" me and Adam follow.

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Mr Morris was in the toilet again and we wait, Martin mentions it and the conversation ends with Adam and Jonny fist bumping.

"After his wipes his cock on the curtains,"

"Oh, stop it! He'll be here in a moment,"

"We hope not," I mutter

A strange banging starts from the kitchen "what's that?"

"Mr Morris?!"

I go into the kitchen and hear Jonny following me, When I open the door, I'm greeted by Jim

"Hello Lizzie,"

"Hello Jim," I mock

"Who is it?!" Jackie asks

"Jim!" me and Jonny shout

"Hello Jackie! Something smells nice!"

"Why didn't you use the front door?"

"Well, that's the thing, I couldn't get their because, did you know? there's a car parked right up against it,"

"Yeah, we know Jim," I tell him

"Joyrider is it?"

"Um, sort of the opposite, the guys about 100," Jonny jokes

"I'm 82 thank you very much," A voice booms and I jump

"Fucking Christ on a bicycle!"

"Young ladies like yourself shouldn't use that kind of language," he points

"Hi Mr Morris,"

"Something wrong with my driving?"

"Not your driving, more specifically your parking," Jim informs him

"I'm going to piss," I whisper to Jonny and escape just as Mr Morris notices the dog.

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When we're all finally seated and eating dinner, Martin speaks up.

"Have you ever worked?"

"'Have I ever worked?' He asks, what am I, a layabout? Of course I've worked!"

"Martin," Jackie laughs

"I actually had a very exciting career!"

"Did you?"

"I worked with the armed forces,"

"So, you were in the army?" Jackie keeps the conversation going

"No, we put the buttons on the uniforms," Jonny lets out a snort "what?"

"Is that a thing?" he asks, still laughing

"Of course it's a thing, we had a machine!"

"Oh yes, he had a big machine," Grandma pipes up "very big machine," they laugh and the dirty joke so overall understood, other than for Martin of course

"What did he do again," Jackie explains and he mishears and is sent to get something. Mr Morris starts talking about Rutherfords when he asks Adam a question.

"You, little legs," he points

"Me?"

"Have a guess who many staff I had in London and the south east?"

"Um, four?"

"Four? Four?! No, not you, don't listen to him. You, beanstork," he points to Jonny "how many staff do you think I had in London and south east?"

"And the south east?"

"Mhm"

"Don't know, a thousand?"

"a thousand!"

"Hundred,"

"Less"

"Nighty"

"Much less,"

"Five,"

"More! You" he points to me "Potty mouth, how many workers did I have?"

"Eight?" I guess

"More!"

"Ten?"

"Eleven alright. I had eleven loyal people all working for me! And do you know what, none of them ever slandered me," Martin come back with the pickles and heart attacks come up as a topic.

"Do you know how many heart attacks I've had?"

"Oh brilliant, more guessing," I joke

"Erm, none," Martin guesses

"Oh no, I've had some, not none!" he points to Jackie "you, your go,"

"It's a horrible thing to have to guess Mr Morris, um, one?"

"Why does everyone guess so low in this house. You, tiny Tim?"

"Thank you, um. A million?"

"A million heart attacks?! You, skyscraper?"

"Um, four,"

"No, three. Three heart attacks!"

"Hopefully the fourth and final will be tonight," I mutter and Jonny and Jackie snort

"What was that?" Mr Morris asks

"Um, nothing,"

"Do you know what a heart attack feels like?"

"Funnily enough, no,"

"Would you like to have a heart attack?"

"If you're offering?" I mutter "not really no," I say so he can hear.

"How do you think it feels to have three, three! Heart attacks?"

"I wouldn't really know,"

Mr Morris starts clutching his heart and groaning in pain

"Is he really...?"

"I was joking earlier,"

"Mr Morris?!"

"Mum?!"

"Don't worry dolly's, he always does this,"

He stops suddenly "that's how it feels,"

"I'm going to the loo!" I announce and leave, I can't deal with that right now. What with things with me and Jonny not going overly well, he's been working so much lately and it's put me on edge. I haven't mentioned it to him because he probably thinks everything's going fine.

Whilst I'm in the toilet, I hear shouting and a bang against my door; when I go back in, it's awkward and it's clearly I missed something.

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Adam's washing up and I'm on the counter next to him, eating a cake from Martin's stash; Jonny comes in and poor's gravy on Adam's hands.

"What did I miss in them?" I ask them both finally and they laugh

"Grandma is having an affair,"

"What?"

"Mr Morris's wife is fully alive and they're not divorced,"

"Fucking hell," I mutter

"I can't believe it, "Jackie walks in "My 78-year-old mother having an affair with an 82-year-old man,"

"Behind the back of his 93-year-old wife!" Jonny adds

"That could definitely be a porno,"

"Probably already is," I tell Adam.

"Sorry, I just have to um," Martin speed walks through us all to the backdoor.

"Where're you going?"

"His usual hiding place,"

"Let me come," I jumbo of the counter and follow Martin, leaving the others

"Why're you coming?" he asks

"I'm not staying with pocket Hitler," Martin still looks reluctant "You can talk to me about your fossils if you let me in,"

"Fine,"

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Jonny and Adam were sent to find out Mr Morris' 'intentions' and only just returned. I walk to the door as Jonny hangs his coat up.

"His intentions?" I ask whilst Adam speaks to Jackie

"Condoms,"

"Ew,"

"I trust our have clean sheets," he tells Jackie when he goes up to have a lie down

"Well, what are his...?"

"Honourable,"

"Defiantly honourable," Jonny adds as we go into the living room.

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We're all in the living room, me laying on the cushion Jonny's holding whilst he plays with my hair.

"He has been a long time," I say quietly

"Should I wake the man?" Martin asks

"I wouldn't if I were you, he doesn't like being woken,"

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Jackie tells her mother

"He once tore a light out of the wall,"

"Right,"

"Go on, go and check on Mr Morris,"

"Us?"

Lizzie's on me," Jonny uses me as an excuse but I sit up quickly

"No, I'm not, off you go," they groan but before they get through the door, Grandma stops them

"Boys, be careful,"

It's silent and I zone out in thoughts of Jonny and his boss, why was she suddenly making him do longer shifts? Did he want to get away from me? Was moving in a mistake? Was he cheating on me? No, no he couldn't be. But then why was he sneaking out the other morning? And why's he coming back late? It's fine, it'll all blow over.

"Nellie! We're going, I've been sexually assaulted!"

"What?" Suddenly I'm back in real life and stand to go to the stairs, Mr Morris is coming down and Adam in miming something, when suddenly Mr Morris falls down. We all surround him and the boys run down the stairs, Adam apologising ever second.

He gets back up suddenly and we all sigh of relief "think you're tuff, do you?"

"I didn't mean to!"

"You filthy slanderer!"

"It's okay Mr Morris," Jackie tries to calm him

"Come on, put 'em up!" he raises his fists

"What?"

"Put 'em up half-pint, come on!"

"Put them up?"

"Mr Morris, please," Martin got between them

"Oh, you're shirt's off, you want some as well, do you?" he rips off his shirt and chaos ensures. He shouts at us as he tries to fight Marin and Martin pushes him. It goes into the dining room as Mr Morris goes for Jonny and Adam, when Adam escapes, he runs up the stairs but Mr Morris pulls his trousers down, showing Adam's pants. Martin tries to push him out the door but Mr Morris comes back

"Everyone else out!" we follow orders and escape the house, Martin locking Mr Morris in. Jonny grabs me and holds my waist from behind whilst we stand outside.

"He's a lunatic,"

Mr Morris continues banging on the door and shouting

"Lou please!"

"Rutherford Lovers!"

"What do we do?" I ask

"I don't know," Jackie panics "Martin, what are we going to do?"

"Um, sell the house?"

"Oh, very good. Mum, what are we going to do?"

"I'll tell you want we're going to do. We're going to stand out here and wait till he has another bloody heart attack,"