A/N: Comments mean loads to me as they motivate me and I like seeing your opinions on how I write and the character of Lizzie (also her relationship with Jonny).

Also, if you have any ideas or requests for Saturday chapters (the chapters between episodes) I would be so happy to take them! Just comment or message me!

"Hello?" I sing as I answer my phone

"Mum's invited Tanya Green to dinner," Jonny tells me and I laugh "Can you please just come?"

"I'm sorry love, it's not my fault Stacey fell down the stairs and I'm the only one available qualified to cut hair,"

"Can't you just lock up early?" he whines

"I've got one client coming in 5 minutes, I promise I'll get there as soon as I can,"

"Fine," he grumbles

"Also, Tanya bumped into me at the wedding and all she did was smirk slightly and fake apologise. And when we left early because I had work the next day, she nearly tried to drag you back into the wedding,"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Oh god,"

"What?" I prepare the hairdresser shit I need

"Mum's got flowers out and everything, they've got dust on,"

"When was the last time they were used?" I laugh "wait, let me guess - the 2nd time I came to dinner,"

"Exactly!"

The customer walks in and I mouth 'sorry, one moment'

"Look love, I've got to go,"

"Ok..." he mumbles "love you,"

"Love you too," I smile and hang up "sorry about that," I say to the woman

----------&-----------

I ring the door bell and can hear the usual chaos from inside

"Oh, thank god," Jonny sighs when he sees me and I immediately step inside from the cold, he wraps his arms around me and I follow suit "she keeps looking at me and checking if I laugh at her jokes, which I never do,"

"Jonny!" Jackie shouts "who is it?!"

"Lizzie!" he shouts back

"Well let her in and come back before the food gets cold!" I smile and take my jacket off, kissing Jonny before walking into the dining room. My seat was empty and everyone else was where they usually were, Tanya's chair was moved down so she was opposite Adam, I hold back a laugh

"Lovely seating plan," I tell Jackie who laughs nervously

"Sit, sit," she instructs "Jonny insisted we left your space and served you a plate," she informs me and I smile" he is so in love with you," Jackie whispers

"Mum!" Jonny groans and we both ignore the glare Tanya gives us.

"Hiya," I greet her sitting down "I'm Lizzie, we met at the wedding," I smile

"Yeah, great to see you," she fake smiles and I immediately take a sip of my drink

"Adam, why don't you ask Tanya a bit about herself?" Jackie suggests

  "Thanks, Mum. I do know how to talk to other humans,"

  Martin burps loudly and I flinch back slightly from the sheer loudness of it

"Martin!"

"Dad!"

  "Can you please stop burping?" Jackie asks exasperatedly

  "Sorry, it's all that parsley I had,"

  "Sorry, when were you eating all this parsley?"

"Hmm?"

"When were you eating parsley?" I repeat what Jackie said slower and louder for him

"Earlier. I fancied a bit,"

"What, raw parsley?" Jonny asks

"Well, I only had a couple of sprigs,"

"I do apologise," Jackie tells Tanya

"It's fine, honest,"

"Er, so, you work for Coke, don't you? Coca Cola?" Adam tries to actually talk to her and I take a sip of my wine, already anticipating something bad about to happen.

"Yeah, I do, like, marketing and PR, you know..."

"Oh!" Jackie says loudly "Lizzie does that too," oh god, here's that something bad

"Um yeah,"

"Oh really?"

"Mhmm," I take a bite of chicken

"What area are you mainly in?"

"Marketing but our PR team is pretty shit so I'm basically running it,"

"Yeah," she nods in fake understanding "I have to do loads, I really should get a pay rise," Jackie laughs and Tanya looks to see if Jonny did, he wasn't instead he seemed to be planning when to say something "what position?"

"Lizzie's head of marketing!" Jonny nearly shouts, ah, that's what he was waiting to say

"What company?"

"It's a new hair brand, you really wouldn't have heard of it since the old department was terrible, I'm still trying to fix everything they've done before working on the bigger promotion stuff,"

"Well, at Coca Cola..." she starts and I want to die, she's trying to one up everything I say. The only reason she's asking these questions is to see if she has a better job than me. Jealous bitch.

"Ooh, Coca Cola. Wonderful business," Martin tunes in again "I mean the owners must be multi-millionaires,"

"Obviously they're multi-millionaires," Adam sighs

"Sorry?"

"Obviously, the owners of Coca Cola are multi-millionaires,"

"Are they multi-millionaires?" Martin asks Tanya

  "Um, I think so, yeah,"

"See?" Me and Jonny both look to each other at the same time and hold back laughs

"So, where do you work then? America?"

"Um England,"

I zone out Martin's facts on England and continue eating dinner. I only pay attention again when Tanya makes a shit joke that makes Jackie laugh in my ear.

"It's fine, I'm not really a pickle person," Tanya checks if jonnie laughs yet again, he doesn't.

"Here, I'll do it," Jonny takes the jar from Adam and I cringe

  "Oh, of course, Mr Muscles," I joke

  Jackie tries to get him to stop and eventually I do too "This is not going well for you either way love,"

Eventually, Jonny's elbow slips and knocks into Adam's nose. Chaos ensures and as Adam's nose starts bleeding, he stands and reveals his wet trousers

"Has he just?" Tanya asks

"No of course I haven't!"

"Fucking moron," I mutter. I've been here 10 minutes at most and we've already had the vocal point of the evening.

----------&---------

I stand outside the door of the bathroom, listening to what was happening inside. Martin's using hot water, Jonny's laughing and Adam is screaming from the hot water. The door goes and as Tanya goes to call for Jackie, I go towards the door.

"Shouldn't we wait..." Tanya starts

"I'm not really classified as a guest anymore," I wink and open the door, Tanya glares.

"Ooh, hello Jackie," Jim says before he sees me "Lizzie," he changes, drawing out my name

"Hi Jim,"

"Of course, you're not Jackie," I nod "that's not Jackie either," he points to Tanya

"She's just visiting," I interrupt whatever she's about to say

"A visitor?"

"Yes Jim,"

"Well, I suppose we're all visitors in a way, visiting this plane of existence,"

I sigh "is there anything you need?"

   Jackie leaves the bathroom and Jim shouts behind me "Hello Jackie!"

"Oh, hi Jim," she walks up to the door "why don't you go in the living room love," Jackie tells Tanya

"You look wet," he comments, looking at her shirt which as was once white, is now see through. Jackie quickly pulls it away from her chest

"Lizzie, would you...?" she trails off

"Yep!" she goes inside to avoid Jim's stares.

"You know what you are? A bloody arsehole!" Adam screams as he leaves the bathroom, Jonny following

"Am I?" Jim asks

"He meant someone else, not you Jim," I reassure "what did you need?"

"I'm sort of locked out. Sort of lost my front door key,"

"Dare I ask how?"

"Yes. Inside Wilson,"

"Not really an answer. Did he swallow it?"

"Mhmm," Jim nods

"How are you going to get back?"

"Well, I suppose I'll just have to wait outside here until he's, you know, ready,"

"Most likely," I go to shut the door "bye Jim,"

"Perhaps you could get me some old newspaper to put down for when he, you know,"

"Of course," I bent down to stroke Wilson "how do you deal with him?" I ask the dog but he just stares at me, enjoying actually being paid attention instead of being drunk and feared "good luck," I whisper to him before standing up "I'll get you that newspaper,"

----------&----------

  "Hello, everyone," Adam greets as he enters the living room where we we're all eating crumble. I'm crawled up in Jonny's arms as Tanya glares.

"Aw, are you all right now, Bobble?" Jackie asks as Adam sits next to me; Tanya was sat on the poof.

"Yeah,"

"Are you okay?" Tanya asks

  "Sorry Ad," Jonny says again

"No, it's okay,"

"Adam, do you know you've got a piece of tissue up your nose?" Martin says

"Yes, I do know, Dad, thank you,"

"It's a good look though," I mumble tiredly

"Oh, I'm mad, the tea! How about a nice cup of tea, everyone? Tanya?"

  "Oh, yes please, if you're making,"

"Of course, love. Jonny, put the kettle on, would you?"

"Me?"

"But Lizzie's on me," he uses as an excuse and I quickly shut my eyes so he doesn't have to move.

"I'll do it. He'll only put bleach in my cup or something," Adam goes into the kitchen

"Bleach and two sugars?" Jonny mocks with a random tissue shoved up his nose.

----------&----------

"Tanya love, would you mind going with Adam to get some milk?"

"Sure," she gives me one last glare before leaving

"She hates me," I grumble "I'm pretty sure she likes you, actually I'm certain,"

"Well, that doesn't matter," he kisses my forehead "because I love you, not her, and she's bitchy,"

"Love you too," I mumble before drifting off.

----------&----------

"You two are so cute!" Jackie exclaims, waking me up from my short nap.

"Mum shhh. She hasn't been sleeping lately," I feel Jonny start to play with my hair "this new job is full of shitheads and people who Lizzie thinks have never even been to college,"

"Poor girl," Jackie mutters, when Adam comes back in with Tanya I pretend to wake up. I sit up and rub my eyes.

"You okay?" Jonny asks me and I nod before putting my head on his shoulder, Adam sits next to me again and Jackie passes the tea around.

"Thanks. And thanks for a lovely evening,"

"Oh, you're welcome. It has been lovely, hasn't it, Adam?" lovely? He got a huge nose bleed

"Yes, Mum," he says reluctantly

"You know, we really must do this again," Jonny jokes

"Most definitely," I yawn, sarcasm still coming through.

  "Oh, Adam, get the milk, would you? I've left it inside,"

"Sorry, I'm really not getting up again,"

"I'll go," Jonny groans before getting up

"Um, excuse me. I just need to use the bathroom," Tanya leaves

"I forgot to ask Jonny something. I'll go before I forget," I lie as I quickly check if Tanya even was in the loo. And that she was not. Bitch.

I go into the kitchen quickly and see the back door open

"What on earth are you doing?!" I hear Jonny nearly scream

"What does it look like?" Tanya asks flirtatiously

"I'm with Lizzie! I don't like you! I love her!"

"That doesn't matter, she won't know!"

"Not on my fucking watch," I storm outside

"Wicked bitch of the west!" I shout "I recommend you leave before I push you into Wilson's dog crap!"

Tanya huffs and pushes past my shoulder "By the way! My job is far fucking better than yours! Don't lie to yourself! And that dress you wore at the wedding quite frankly resembled a bin bag!"

"What's going on?!" Jackie asks when Tanya slams the front door. Me and Jonny were still outside

"Tanya fucking Green just tried to snog my boyfriend!"

"I didn't do anything! I tried to push her off!" Jonny puts his hands up

"I know" I soften when I look at him "she's a fucking bitch,"

"Lovely girl," Adam mocks

"Lovely girl," I finish, glaring at Jackie who looked a bit sheepish.