Notes:

Lame title for this lame oneshot. This idea really stuck in my head with some of my school stuff(shit) and hindering me from writing the next chapter of Till We Meet Again so I decided to do this one hope you enjoy this story of mine~

Warning: Grammatical Errors, Spelling Errors and Overused of some words because of my lack of vocabularies..

Edited (11/10/16):  Already posted on my AO3 account (Lia_Thal)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything just the plot. The cover doesn't belong to me it so I give all the credits to her/him.

XXxxXX

HiroC's POV

"Hey Ono-kun what taking you so long in there?" I asked him while knocking at the door. He's there for almost 20 minutes and I really need to use the toilet now and it's the only toilet here in the recording studio, a flushing of water in the toilet was the only answer I got before the door opens revealing Ono-kun with an apologetic expression plastered on his face.

"Sorry Kamiya-san, You can use it now" He said to me while wiping his hands with his handkerchief. I scowled at him and clicked my tongue.

"Geez, I really need to take a piss you know" I told him before shoving him out of the entrance instead of being offended he just laugh at me.

"S-sorry sorry" still laughing and waving his hand at me to tell that I should use the toilet now.

"Hmph." I could still hear his chuckle on the closed door. "That guy" I muttered to myself while shaking my head, heading to the toilet bowl to take a leak.

After letting the excess water out of my system I noticed something on the floor, I crouched down and take a look at it.

'Petal' I thought to myself it is a petal of a white carnation out of my curiosity I picked it up and notice that it was warm and slick, furrowing my eyebrows I noticed that there some petals that scattered not too far and when I touches them it is still warm like the first one.

Where is this came from? There's no flower in here and no one can enter here because this dressing room belongs to me and Ono-kun and I didn't bring a single flower with me.

"Maybe it's from Ono-kun" I murmured to myself but I remember that he didn't have a bouquet of flower when he enter the room earlier. My eyes grew wider when realization hit me.

"Don't tell me.." I hastily pick up the petals from the floor and open the door with a loud bang Ono-kun turns to me while he's drinking from his bottle. I marched at him my face void from any expression.

"What is this" I asked almost shoving my hand in his face.

"Petals" He snickered, while picking the petals from my palm

"I know it's a petal. Idiot" I said to him in deadpanned "What I'm asking is why there is a petal in the toilet?"

"I don't know Kamiya-san maybe from the staff" He said not looking at my eyes. I sighed at his answer.

"Ono-kun there's no one enters this room beside us"

"Err.. Maybe it's from you." He said still not looking at me and shifting in his position. The urge of face palming myself is too strong but I stopped myself.

"Ono-kun, I didn't bring any flowers with me" I said in a calm voice. Silence is his only answer at me. "Ono-kun" I called to him gently to get him to look at me in the eyes. "I'm going to ask you a one question and I need a honest answer, Okay" He nodded. "Do you have that so called Hanahaki Disease?" I asked straight to the point, after a seconds of staring at me blankly he look away and nodded his head confirming my suspicion.

Something pricked my heart at his answer. Hanahaki Disease is a condition where you are vomiting petals or worse flower buds because of unrequited love. Such a cruel disease constantly reminding you how your love will never be return.

"So who's the unlucky girl?" I asked casually breaking the silence that blooms between us. He pouted at me before answering.

"That's mean Kamiya-san." Glaring and pouting at me before sitting on his chair and ushering me to do the same which I obliged.

"Do I know this girl?" I asked hesitantly.

"Well something like that." Again there's something pricking my heart and it hurts.. It hurts like hell, I breathed slowly to calm myself before asking him again.

"She's a seiyuu as well huh" again he nodded his cheeks were tainted in pink while smiling shyly.

"Yeah" he said meekly "You could say that"

"What did you saw at her that makes you so head over heels in love" I asked him smiling despite deep inside I really want to cry

"Well she's kind to me though sometimes she can be really mean at me but I know that she's just doing that because she's just shy." I just nodded at him to continue.

"And also she always helps me whenever when I'm in pinch and she always reminds me that I'm never alone that there are many people that supports me and she's always there behind my back and that I could do my best."

"But you know what I really love about her is her smile, the way her eyes will turn to slits when she's smiling from ear to ear."

"And how her smile makes my chest warm and my heart flutters but I really love it when I'm the cause of her smile." He finished in a gentle voice and a hint of smile. I bit my inner cheek to prevent myself from crying I'm the complete opposite of her with how I treat Ono-kun, how I tease him whenever he's in a dire situation or him being the target of my sadistic scheme.

"You didn't consider on having a surgery?" I asked in a low voice. Well Hanahaki disease have two ways of curing it; First is through surgery, you get to remove the blossoming (and wilting) flowers, but your feelings also get removed as well and second is for your feelings to get reciprocated by the person you're in love with. The Hanahaki disease is NOT harmless. You can actually die from it. Because the growing flowers will eventually clog up your respiratory system and your windpipe... leading to eventual death due to lack of air.

Ono-kun smile gently at me before shaking his head.

"No, I don't really want to get rid of this feeling even though I'm only suffering but I really treasure this feeling for her. This disease is a reminder of how I really love her and I'm content just being by her side supporting her." I'm not surprise on his answer after all Ono-kun is a pretty sentimental guy, he treasures all the things that given to him no matter how small it is.
And that explain this white petals. White Carnation it represents Ono-kun's pure love to that girl

But hearing his answer crushed all of my hopes. I'd had really hope that he considered taking an operation, that he should forget that girl. I laughed bitterly at my thoughts. What a selfish person I am.

"Stupid" I mutter lowly to myself and stand up inhaling a big gulp of air before releasing it.

"Well, goodluck with your one sided love I hope that it goes well for you ne~" I said with a force smile. With a short excuse of being late for my next recording I hastily ran to the door leaving my belongings behind but I didn't careless I just want to let it all out. I ran to the closes restroom, hot tears streaming down my face it's a good thing that there's no one in the corridor. Nobody will ask why an old man like me crying like a child.

I locked myself inside the bathroom running at the sink throwing up a bunch of flower petals. Yellow Hyacinth in the flower language it means jealousy

I stared at the flowers I threw up laughing bitterly I feel jealous at the girl that Ono-kun loves so dearly wishing that I'm the one that he loves. I thought that we have a mutual understanding, that he feels the same way like I do but I was wrong I'm just the only one that thinks that there's something between us. I'm such an idiot for giving a meaning to the things that Ono-kun did to me. Slumping on the floor and resting my head on my knees I continue crying and coughing because of the stupid flower that wants to go out of my lungs.

I understand now why Ono-kun doesn't want to get rid of this even though it's painful, you can't just throw it away because it's already become a part of you and it really reminds you of how that person truly precious to you. Love can kill you indeed.

XXX

After learning of Ono-kun's condition and experiencing it for the first time I immediately went home not really in the mood to talk with other people. It's really a good thing that I finished early. Ono-kun texted me asking where did I go and replied that I went home already and that's the last time we talked.

I avoided him for almost one week, I'm still not ready to talk to him in person I didn't answer any of his calls or text and when we meet at the recording studio I will only smile at him and when he started a conversation I will excuse myself telling him that I'm in a hurry.

I'm a coward for running away but I can't still face him not until I fixed myself, until I can look him in the eyes without the urge for crying and until I can watch him and the girl he loves talking happily like they are the only person in this world.

But I guess that's impossible because no matter how much I avoid him were still going to meet.

"Good morning Kamiya-san" Ono-kun greeted to me when he enters the room. I was currently reading the script of DGS for the recording later.

"Morning" I answer not looking at him.

"How's work" He asked while taking out his script from his bag.

"Fine" I answered him still not looking at him.

"You're not answering my calls" Without looking at him I could still sense that his pouting at me, sighing I close my script then look at him.

"Well I'm busy" I answered in monotonous voice.

"But --" before he can finish his sentence a knock came from the door and the turning of the knob before it opens.

"Excuse me, Ono-san." There peeking at the slightly open door is a girl looking quite shy, I look at Ono-kun to see him smiling at the new comer. My heart skips a beat before beating achingly inside my chest.
I looked at the girl again noticing how cute she was, her long silky hair were tied in a low ponytail, almond shape eyes, small button nose and a pouty pink lips. I couldn't hear what they were talking about all I could hear is the loud thump of my heart. Aching, because of what I currently seeing.

Here, Ono-kun's eyes were shining upon seeing the girl, the way he laughs is also different and the way he look at the girl like she's the only person that matters. My eyebrows furrowed at the sight, the feeling of throwing is back again I excused myself not waiting for an answer I ran to the restroom and enter in one of the cubicles locking myself inside I open the lid before throwing up petals and flower buds, my throat sores. Tears leaking down my cheeks. The jealousy is burning me up, I really want to push the girl away and tell her that Ono-kun is mine, that I'm the only one that can stand beside him and laugh with him but I can't do that I don't have any right to that I'm just his colleague and I don't have any chance to win with a cute girl like her what can an old man like me can do. The way they stand side by side a pretty girl for the handsome guy like Ono-kun they really a match. I laughed at on how miserably I am.

A light footsteps could be heard outside of the cubicle and a knock on the door.

"Kamiya-san are you okay?" My sniffling stop when I heard his voice.

"I know you're in there" I still didn't answer him. He just stays there outside my cubicle, after a seconds of silence I heard him sigh loudly.

"Are you avoiding me Kamiya-san?" He asked in a low voice "Did I do something wrong? Is it because of my condition? Don't worry it's not contagious" He keep asking me his voice laced with sadness.

My eyes started to burn again as tears flows like a river on my cheeks. No you didn't do anything wrong, it's all my fault why I'm like this. I bite my lower lips so hard that it bled just to stop my sniffles from escaping.

"Please Kamiya-san talk to me please" He begged but I ignore him. I heard a loud sigh outside the cubicle, I thought that he will leave me alone, that he realized that it's not worth his time chasing me the thought makes me cry harder until I heard him heave a deep sigh before talking again.

"I"m opening this door whether you like it or not" he said in a low impatient voice.

I tense up at his words looking straight at the door. "N-no" I croaked cursing at how my voice sounded. Don't open the door I don't want you to see how pitiful I become. A loud bang was my answer, he continued forcing the door to open until the lock inside broke.

When he successfully open the door he stares at me, panting slightly upon seeing my pitiful state; red puffy eyes because of so much crying and slumping beside the toilet. He immediately kneel besides me resting his hands on my cheeks then wipes my tears with his thumbs, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"What happen Kamiya-san?" He asked in concern. I look at him straigthly and saw how worried he is to me. How I wish his loving gaze were pointed towards me also but that thought is impossible and will never happen. That made me cry again.

"What's wrong Kamiya-san?" He asked me worriedly. I didn't answer him I just cry there while Ono-kun wipes my tears away.

"Why are you here? I asked him weakly after a minute of silence. Ono-kun scratches his head sheepishly.

"Well I got worried." He said not looking at me.

"Why?"

"Because you didn't comeback." He look at me worriedly "Why are you crying?" I look away not meeting his eyes

"What is that" I heard him asked again I look at him but he is not looking at me instead he was looking at the toilet bowl. My eyes widened when I realized what he was looking, The petals that I threw up earlier 'Shit I forgot to flush the toilet'

"Who?" He asked in a low voice still staring at the flower petals and buds that are floating there. I stay silent.

"Kamiya-san please answer me." Ono-kun's voice were laced with sadness. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying again.

"No one, there's no use on telling you who he is because the fact that he will never be mine will not change." I said my voice cracked at end of my sentence. It's not good my tears will start flowing again.

"So it's a he" He mutters. "Who is he?" He asked again.

"Why do you care?" I said in a whisper but it seems he heard me.

"I care because I love you Kamiya-san" he said in a low voice, his eyes glazed with tears. I look at him dumbfounded, no it's not true, it's impossible I blinked repeatedly before asking him.

"W-what about the girl? Isn't she the one from earlier" I asked still not believing him.

"There's no girl and the girl from earlier is just a kouhai of mine from one of the anime were recording to and she is still new in this business so I'm helping her to get through. The one that I love is you Kamiya-san please believe me." He said in a pleading tone

"B-but then why did you said that it was a girl."

"I said that because I don't want to ruin our friendship just because I have feelings for you. I don't want you to avoid me so I lied to you and told you that it was a girl. But all the things that I have said was true how I love you and why I love you, all of them " He explained.

"Idiot" I mutters

"Yeah I'm an idiot" he chuckled bitterly. "I'm sorry"

"Idiot, Idiot, Idiot, Idiot" I said repeatedly before capturing his lips with mine I felt him stiffened before kissing me back, deepening the kiss. I pull from the kiss and hug him tightly.

"But I'm also an idiot for being jealous of myself" I chuckles lightly. Ono-kun looks down at me his eyes shining with hope.

"That does mean you feel the same way like me?" He asked.

"Yeah" I answered he smiles happily, his eyes twinkle in happiness. I smiled back at him, that beautiful smile directed only at me and me alone. The thought makes my heart flutters.

"I love you Kamiya-san" He said to me lovingly. My tears started to flow again for different reasons.

"I love you too, Ono-kun" I said to him smiling as tears still leaking down my face, he leans down to kiss me again before hugging me tightly. Even though we're still inside this small cubicle I don't really care because the man that I love held me lovingly in his arm.