Charlie wakes up in a depressive episode, and Condi, Grizzly, and Grace help him through it.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Depression/depressive episodes, poor mental health, swearing, anxiety/panic attacks
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BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BE-
Charlie rolled over and grabbed his phone from his nightstand. Squinting at the screen, he turned off the alarm and dropped his head back into his pillow. His whole entire body felt heavy and immovable. It took great effort to sigh. He felt the bed move as Grace rolled over. She wrapped her arm around his torso as she pulled herself closer to him. Charlie felt his heart flutter as a small smile spread across his face for a moment.

Only for a moment, because even smiling took energy that he just didn't seem to have.

"Good morning Love." Grace said.

"Hmm." Was all Charlie could manage. His mind was telling him to turn over to face her and kiss the tip of her nose-a gesture that always made her giggle adorably. But he just couldn't move.

His whole body felt weighed down, including his mind. He cursed inwardly as the puzzle pieces fell into place and he realized why he had no energy, no motivation, why his entire body felt like lead.

He'd woken up in a depressive episode.

He didn't get them too often anymore, thank God. Therapy and medication had helped even out Charlie's depression ever since he was a teenager. However, every now and again, that damn lack of serotonin crept up on him and reminded him that he was still chemically imbalanced. His clinical depression had gotten better, and now showed itself in the form of episodes; bouts of lack of motivation and numbness that either were triggered by something, or came out of nowhere, like today.

Charlie sighed again. He hadn't even noticed his eyes had closed themselves until the bed moved again and scared him into opening them. He quickly realized Grace was getting up, and they closed again.

"Come on, Honey. It's 9:30." Grace's voice sounded from somewhere in the room. The bathroom, Charlie realized. He forced his eyes to open and look around the room. The bathroom light had turned on despite the sunlight shining through the blinds. Charlie took a deep breath and picked up his phone. He had one notification, a calendar notification.

TODAY AT 1:00pm; FILM WITH CONDI AND GRIZZ

Charlie dropped his phone on the bed.

"Fuck." He whispered. He looked at his phone again and cleared the notification so he didn't have to see it again and replaced his phone on the nightstand. He turned over and pulled the covers up to his mouth, shutting his eyes once more.

"Charlie? Did you fall back asleep?" Grace's voice shook his dizzying thoughts.

"Hmm?" Charlie mumbled. Grace chuckled.

"Come on, get up, okay? I'm gonna go get breakfast. What do you want? Cereal?" She asked. Charlie nodded slowly, if only to get her to leave and stop talking to him. He wasn't hungry in the slightest. Charlie listened for his girlfriend's footsteps to fade down the hall, and he opened his eyes.

Staring blankly at the wall, his mind both raced and was empty at the same time. Thoughts of everything he should be doing flashed across his eyes all at once, but none of them seemed to matter to him like they normally did.

Getting up and having breakfast with Grace was one of his favorite things about the day. Just being in the same room as her made him feel amazing. But he had no motivation to get up and his stomach twisted at the thought of food.

Recording with the boys, something that brought him immense joy. They always had so much fun together, cracking up at the dumbest jokes and bringing chaos wherever they went. But at the moment, just the faintest idea of having to socialize and talk to people and hold a conversation made Charlie's heart race.

Filming, yet another thing he absolutely loved to do. He'd gotten incredibly lucky with YouTube and he was grateful for everything he'd worked so hard for.

And yet, none of those things mattered to him at the moment. Nothing mattered but the soft sheets that enveloped him. His eyelids were incredibly heavy, but he wasn't tired. They sagged as he stared at the wall. He willed himself to fall back asleep. Maybe he could take a nap and sleep the episode away.

Of course, he knew that wasn't how this worked.

Sure, sometimes it did. Sometimes he could take a nap or zone out with a book or a game and the episode would just sort of fade away into nothingness and he'd be fine.

But when he woke up in an episode, it usually tended to linger for a while and was harder for him to ignore.

He had no idea how much time had passed when Grace walked into the room again.

"You're still in bed? Charlie, you have class in fifteen minutes." Grace said. Charlie ignored her entirely, pretending to be asleep. He heard her footsteps approach his side of the bed and felt the edge sink down as she sat next to him. He felt her lay her hand on his shoulder and gently shake him.

"Charlie? Wake up, Honey." She said quietly. Charlie's heart began to race as he held his eyes shut.

Maybe if he didn't move, she'd just leave him be.

Of course, he wasn't so lucky.

"Charlie? Are you feeling okay? Charl?" Charlie heard nervousness creep into her voice the more she shook him. Guilt washed over him and, for a brief moment, outweighed the depression and he faked waking up. His eyes opened and he turned to look at her.

"Hey. Hi. I'm up." He made himself talk. Just looking at her made him smile briefly. He spoke in slow motion, though, and Grace picked up on it instantly.

"Are you feeling okay?" She asked him again.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay. Just tired." Charlie lied, rubbing his eyes. He forced himself to sit up and lean against the pillows and the wall. He grabbed his glasses from the nightstand and put them on. He met Grace's concerned eyes and put on a smile for her.

"Hey you." He said. He leaned forward and kissed her. She kissed him back, but when they pulled away her concerned expression remained present.

"Are you feeling alright?" She repeated a third time.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just tired. I didn't sleep well last night." Another lie. He hated lying to Grace. He never lied to her about anything except this. He hated when she worried about him, because when she worried, she really worried.

"Sorry. I'm up." Charlie said.

"Why are you apologizing?" Grace asked.

"Because I worried you. I don't like worrying you. I'm okay, Love, I promise." Charlie said.

Why did he promise? Fuck.

Charlie slipped out of the bed and walked to the bathroom.

"You have class in like ten minutes." Grace said.

"Really? Oh shit, okay. Thanks!" Charlie pretended not to know what time it was. "I'll be out in a second." Grace watched him for a moment before leaving the room. Charlie sighed heavily, looking in the mirror.

His hair was messy, and his shirt was wrinkled from sleeping. He straightened out the shirt a bit and brushed his hair for all of two seconds before giving up. He stared at his toothbrush for almost an entire minute before the depressive episode won him over and he left it unused.

Charlie wandered into the living room to find Grace at the kitchen table, her school stuff already spread out. She was writing in a notebook and looking at a textbook. Charlie put a hand on her shoulder as he walked past her into the kitchen.

"I made you cereal." She said, turning to look at him. Charlie picked up the bowl.

"Thanks." He said quietly.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay, Charlie?"

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm just really tired." Charlie walked past her again towards the office. He shut the door behind him and leaned against it. He stared down at the bowl of cereal, and his stomach churned. He wasn't hungry in the slightest. He walked to the desk and sat down, opening the school's website. He set the bowl aside and navigated to the Zoom tab of his class and opened it.

He still had three minutes before his class officially started, so he opened his phone and scrolled through Instagram. His attention span lasted a whole fifteen seconds before he closed the social media app and put his phone face down on the desk. He glanced at the bowl of food. His stomach growled slightly, but he didn't pick up the bowl. Despite it being within arms reach, he just didn't care enough to grab it. Instead, he opted to just stare at the computer screen for the remaining two minutes.

He was useless in class. Charlie tried desperately to focus on his teacher's lecture and to take adequate notes, but he kept zoning out and staring off at nothing. He fell behind numerous times, and there was no chance of him asking the teacher what he'd missed. He gave up on taking notes about halfway through the lecture. His teacher always posted the lectures on the class site the day after, so he could just go back and take notes when he was in the right mindset. He wrote down what he could in the meantime.

When his class ended, Charlie breathed a sigh of relief. He closed his laptop and shoved his notebooks to the side. He leaned back in the chair, staring at the wall. He wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed, turn off all the lights, and zone out into the void. His phone dinged with a text notification. Condi had texted the group chat with him and Nate.

Condi: "We still on for 1:00 today?"

Charlie stared at the message, his heart racing. He opened his keyboard and his thumbs hovered over it. He tried desperately to think of what to say to get out of it, but his brain was mush. Before he could type anything out, Nate responded.

Grizzly: "Hell yeah dog."

Fuck. Now he was the only one that hadn't replied. He tried to think of any excuse, but when his phone dinged again, his brain went blank.

Condi: "Charlie?"

Charlie just silenced his phone and dropped it on the desk facedown.

When a small knock sounded at the door, Charlie closed his eyes, groaning quietly.

Why couldn't everyone just leave him alone?

He stood up and walked to the door, opening it slightly.

"Hey." He said, plastering on that fake smile again.

"Hey. Are you done with class?" Grace asked.

"Uh, yeah. I'm just finishing up some extra notes and shit. What's up?" Charlie glanced behind him at the pile of notebooks he'd abandoned, and then back to his girlfriend.

"You wanna take a break for a minute and watch a movie? I could use a break." Grace laughed. Charlie forced a fake laugh that was nowhere near believable.

"Aw. Um...I should really finish this." He said, just wanting to be alone.

"Okay. You're recording with Nate and Condi later today, right?" Grace asked. She seemed disappointed, and Charlie instantly felt terrible.

You're a horrible boyfriend and a horrible person. All she wanted was to watch a movie. Why are you so goddamn selfish? What the fuck is wrong with you?

"Charlie?" Grace's voice snapped Charlie out of his downward spiral.

"Yeah? What? Sorry." Charlie said. Grace stared at him.

"Come here, I'm taking your temperature." Grace said.

"No, no, I'm fine. I'm just tired, I told you." Charlie said. Grace reached to grab his wrist, and Charlie jerked backwards. The door to the office opened up as he backed into the room. Grace followed him inside.

"Charlie something's clearly wrong. Did you even touch your cereal?" She asked.

"Touch it? That's a little weird. You're supposed to eat cereal, not touch it." Charlie smiled, seeing an opportunity and taking it. Grace cocked her head at him.

"I'm serious, Charlie." She said, though she was laughing slightly as she spoke. Hearing her laugh at one of his stupid jokes did make him feel ever so slightly better.

"I promise you I'm fine, I'm just a little out of it today." Charlie told her.

Grace was frowning at him, looking him up and down. Suddenly, her expression changed, as if she had just realized something.

"Oh-oooh. Are you okay?" She asked, but her tone had completely changed. She was far more serious-and far more concerned.

"Yes, Grace, I'm fine." Charlie said a bit annoyedly. He was getting sick of the question.

"Is there anything I can do?" She asked sweetly, and Charlie immediately felt bad for feeling annoyed.

"No, I'm fine. Just, gonna chill." He said, running a hand through his hair and smiling at her as genuinely as he could muster.

She walked towards him and pulled him into a tight hug. "I'm sorry, Love." She said quietly.

"No, don't be sorry. You didn't do anything." He said.

"I didn't realize it sooner." Grace said.

"That isn't your fault." Charlie defended her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Grace pulled away, and Charlie could feel his body growing colder without hers pressed against him.

"Cause it's fine. I'm fine. I didn't want to worry you. I have my call with the boys soon." He blurted.

"Are you gonna be okay for that?" Grace asked. He nodded.

"Yeah, it'll help." He said. Yet another lie. He still wanting nothing other than to crawl back in bed and stare at the wall. He wanted to crawl into a hole and talk to no one at this point, but the bed was a close second.

"Okay. I'm proud of you for still doing it, and I'm proud of you for getting through your class." Grace said. Charlie smiled at her, and she hugged him again.

"I love you, Charlie. I love you so much. And I'm here, whatever you need, okay? Always." Grace said, squeezing him a little tighter.

"What did I do to deserve you?" He chuckled. Grace smiled up at him, and leaned up and kissed him. He kissed her back instantly.

"Okay. Go have fun with the boys. Do you want me to take the cereal? It's probably all soggy now anyways." Grace pulled away.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry." Charlie said.

"No it's fine! Are you hungry at all?" Grace asked. Charlie shook his head. "You need to eat, Love." Grace said seriously.

"I know, I will later. I promise." Charlie said. Grace nodded. She took the bowl and left the room. When the door was closed, Charlie let out a sigh of relief that inadvertently turned into a sob. He felt awful for lying to her, but what made him feel the worst was how concerned she was about him. Charlie absolutely hated when people worried or fussed over him. He always had. People had their own issues to deal with, he didn't want to add to them.

He didn't want to be a burden.

Charlie's computer dinged, and he turned around to look at it. Grizzly had messaged him on Discord.

"Hey, bro you good?"

Charlie sat down in the chair. He typed back a message.

"Yeah." He considered elaborating, but gave up and sent it.

Grizzly: "We've been texting you for a while."

Charlie picked up his phone and saw 30 missed text messages from the group chat with Grizzly and Condi.

"Jesus." He mumbled, opening the thread. There were a lot of messages asking if he was still down to record, where he was, if he was okay, if he wanted to cancel, etc. Charlie opened his keyboard and responded.

Charlie: "Sorry guys. Phone was on silent."

Condi: "Ayyyy there he is!"

Grizzly: "he's alive!"

Condi: "are you busy?"

Charlie: "No, class ran a little long."

Grizzly: "Not all that's a little long!"

Charlie rolled his eyes, smiling.

Condi: "Fuck off Grizz that's gross. Mine is longer."

Charlie: "Jesus Christ the both of you"

Grizzly: "Nah, I'm not Jesus. I can see how you'd get us confused though"

Condi: "Anyway, are you still up for recording Charlie?"

Charlie hesitated. He had no energy to interact with other people, especially not people who were on the level of chaos that both Condi and Grizzly were consistently locked in. Just texting them back was mentally draining him.

Condi: "Charlie?"

Charlie just stared at the message. He wanted to reply, but he didn't know what to say. He was staring so intently at the screen that when it suddenly changed, he jumped. Condi was calling him. Charlie's heart began racing and his insides went cold. His finger hovered over the Accept Call button. He took a shaky breath and answered.

"Hey Man. I was just about to text you back." He could hear his voice shaking.

"Hey, are you okay?" Condi asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. Why?" Charlie lied.

"Well for one thing you keep disappearing in the chat, and two you sound like you've been crying." Condi blurted. His bluntness made Charlie's heart race even faster.

"I'm not-I haven't been crying." Charlie said, his voice shaking even more as his anxiety kicked into high gear. "My class ran a little over and I've been working on some notes and stuff. I had my phone on silent."

"Charlie we don't have to do this today if you don't want to." Condi said. Charlie swallowed. "I figured." Condi spoke again.

"You figured what?" Charlie frowned.

"You go silent every-time I mentioned recording today." Condi told him.

Fuck. Was he that obvious?

"I wasn't going silent, I'm still looking over notes and shit. Sorry. I didn't hear the question." Charlie continued lying, conveniently dodging the question again.

"Dude if you aren't up for it we don't have to do it." Condi said.

"You mean the recording?" Charlie tried to sound genuine.

"Don't play dumb with me, man. I know you. You sound like you've been crying and you keep dodging the question. What's wrong?" Condi asked.

"Dude nothing's wrong. I'm fine." Charlie said, standing up from the chair. For the first time all day, he felt like he needed to move. His rising anxiety was overpowering his lack of motivation, and he paced around the room.

"Charlie don't lie to me, not about this." Condi said. Charlie stopped walking.

"About what?" He asked quietly.

"You're in a depressive episode, aren't you?" Condi asked. Charlie's heart lurched. "I'll take your silence as a yes." Condi added.

"I'm fine." Charlie said.

"That was convincing. Man, why didn't you tell us? We would've understood. We can reschedule." Condi sounded worried. Charlie's breathing was speeding up rapidly.

"I'm fine." He repeated, more so to convince himself.

"Charlie you don't have to be fine all the time." Condi said. At this point, Charlie's panic attack was increasing to its peak, and he couldn't really process what Condi was saying.

"Hey can I call you back?" Charlie blurted out suddenly.

"Why?" Condi asked.

"Just-Cause. Grace is calling me, I have to go do something. I'll call you back." Charlie said, and he hung up before Condi could protest. He threw his phone in his pocket and rushed out of the room. He heard Grace say his name as he hurried down the hallway to the bathroom, where he locked the door and turned on the tap. He gripped the sink tightly, steadying himself. He was hyperventilating. He didn't know why, but he grabbed his phone from his pocket. Condi had called him twice, and Grizzly had called him three times. He saw multiple notifications stacked on top of each other from the group chat with the two of them, as well as individual texts from both.

Grace knocked on the door and he jumped.

"Charlie? Are you okay?" She asked.

"'M fine!" Charlie choked out, swallowing with difficulty.

"Charlie?! What's going on? Open the door!" Grace tried to turn the handle.

"I'm fine!" Charlie called again.

"Charlie I can hear you breathing. Please open the door, Love." Grace said gently. Charlie just stared at the door. His phone lit up on the counter. Nate was calling him.

"Charlie? Why is Condi calling me?" Grace asked.

"Fucking hell." Charlie muttered. He grabbed his phone and answered it.

"I'm fine. I'll call you back in a second." He said, and he hung up.

"Hello? Hi. He's in the bathroom..." Charlie heard Grace answer the phone and walk away from the door. He looked back at his reflection in the mirror and an overwhelming urge to punch what he saw washed over him.

He was causing such a big scene. He was worrying everyone. How could one person be that big of a fuck up?

"Charlie? I told him you're not feeling well. Can you open the door please?" Grace returned. She tried the handle again.

"I'm fine." Charlie said. His voice wavered.

"Honey, please?" Grace asked. Charlie dropped his head. He unlocked the door and moved away from it. Grace opened the door slowly. She looked at Charlie and her eyes went wide.

"Charlie. Here, sit down. Look at me, Love. You're okay. Take deep breaths, come on. You can do this, Charlie. Deep breaths with me. Count with me." Grace moved him to the middle of the small room and had him sit down on the floor. She sat down in front of him. She began taking slow, deep breaths. She over-exaggerated her movements so Charlie could easily follow along.

When he had calmed down, Grace asked him what had happened.

"Condi called me and I wasn't expecting it. I don't know...I just...It's nothing." He said.

"Charlie a panic attack is not nothing." Grace moved closer to him.

"It's fine. Thank you, I'm sorry. What did he say on the phone?" Charlie changed the subject.

"He said you sounded like you were crying and you kept avoiding him and Grizz and that you hung up on him." Grace said. Charlie leaned his head back against the wall.

"What did you tell him?" He dared to ask, unsure if he even wanted to know the answer.

"I told him you've been sick all morning." Grace said. Charlie looked at her. "He asked if you were in an episode and I just told him you aren't feeling well."

"He knows. He knows me too well." Charlie said.

"I know that. Still. I told him you'd talk to them eventually but that you most likely weren't gonna be up for recording." Grace moved so that she was leaning against the cabinets opposite Charlie to face him.

"Grizz probably knows too." Charlie said.

"So what if they do? You don't owe them an explanation, Charlie. Nor me. We're just worried about you because we all care about you." Grace said. Charlie met her eyes and smiled, genuinely.

"I know. I love you." He said.

"I love you too." Grace smiled back. Charlie took a deep breath.

"I should probably go talk to them. Let them know I'm alright." He said.

"Are you gonna record?" Grace asked. Charlie shrugged as he stood up. He extended his hand and helped Grace stand as well.

"We'll see." He said. Grace nodded. They kissed again and walked out of the room.

Charlie sat down at his desk and sighed heavily. He opened discord on his computer and saw that Condi and Nate were already in a voice chat together. Taking another deep breath, Charlie joined the call and unmuted.

"Hey guys." He said quietly.

"Hey, Charlie. Are you okay?" Condi asked.

"Hey man what's up? Are you okay?" Nate asked at the same time.

"Yeah, I'm fine..." Charlie started to say.

"Are you sure?" Nate asked. Charlie hesitated.

"Yeah. I'm just ah...Just a little off." He said.

"Grace said you're sick, but...You didn't sound sick, Charlie." Condi said.

"Yeah. I didn't know she was gonna say that." Charlie admitted.

"Are you good, bro? Like, what's up?" Nate asked. Charlie felt his heart pick up speed.

"I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I'm fine." He said.

"Wrong side of the bed how?" Condi pushed. Charlie cursed inwardly.

"Why am I being interrogated?" He tried to force a laugh.

"Because you're not okay, bro. And we know it. We just wanna make sure you're good." Nate said.

"Dude I'm fine." Charlie tried.

"Charlie." Condi said.

"I'm just out of it today." Charlie eyed the End Call button. He hovered over it with his mouse. This wasn't going well.

"Charlie you know you can talk to us." Nate said.

"Yeah I know." Charlie sighed again.

"Do you?" Condi asked. Charlie didn't respond. "I don't mean to come across as a dick. I just, want you to know that we're here for you. You constantly try to fake it and say you're okay when we know you well enough by now to see that you're not. You don't have to do that with us. There's no bullshit here." Condi said. Charlie was blinking quickly.

He seriously didn't deserve Condi or Grizzly. Or Grace for that matter.

"We love you, Charlie. You don't have to pretend around us. If you're not okay, you're not okay. If you're comfortable, tell us what's going on. If not, just say you're struggling and what we can do to help and we'll do it, no questions asked. No judgement. That goes for all of us." Nate said.

"Exactly." Condi backed him up. Charlie let out a very shaky breath.

"You okay?" Condi asked. Charlie nodded without thinking.

"Thanks. Seriously, you guys are really good friends. I'm sorry." He said.

"You don't have to be sorry, Charlie." Nate said quickly.

"Yeah, you do not have to be sorry. You're having a shit mental health day. That's not your fault." Condi agreed.

"I know, but I still feel bad." Charlie said.

"You don't have to feel bad for this, man. It's not on you." Nate said gently.

"It is though, cause I'm really not up for recording right now." Charlie said honestly.

"That's fine! We don't have to record right now. We can do it later or tomorrow or whenever you're up for it. It's okay, seriously." Condi said.

"Yeah, seriously. It's not a big deal at all. You're fine." Nate confirmed.

"You're sure?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, yes I promise." Condi said.

"Yeah one hundred percent man. Go chill and take care of yourself. That's way more important." Nate spoke at the same time.

"Okay. Yeah, I might just go for a drive or something. That sometimes helps." Charlie sighed.

"On your own?" Nate asked.

"I mean yeah, probably." Charlie frowned.

"He's a big boy, Grizzly." Condi joked.

"No I know that Condi. I just, like...Text us when you get home so we know you're good, okay?" Nate asked.

"I will. Again, I'm sorry you guys. I know you said I don't have to apologize but I feel bad." Charlie said.

"Don't feel bad Charlie. It's okay. Let us know how you're doing, okay? If there's anything we can do we're here." Condi said.

"Yeah text us whenever." Nate added.

"Will do. Thanks boys. I'll talk to you guys later." Charlie left the call and sat back in his chair. He was feeling a bit better than earlier, but his brain was still foggy. His body still felt heavy. Being in the house was both comforting and suffocating at the same time. He pushed himself up from his desk and walked to the bedroom, where he changed into jeans and a t-shirt. He walked into the living room, where Grace was reading on the couch.

"Hey." He said as he walked into the kitchen to fill up his water bottle.

"Hey. How are you? Are you gonna record with the boys?" Grace asked, putting her book down. She stood up.

"Nah. I'm not in the mindset to record anything. I think I'm gonna go take a drive." Charlie told her.

"Oh, okay." Grace's voice changed, and Charlie looked up at her.

"Is that okay?" He ventured.

"It's fine. I just...Would being alone help?" Grace asked seriously. Charlie took a deep breath, thinking. He shrugged.

"I don't know what to do at this point. I'm just fuckin' sick of feeling like this." He decided to be honest with her.

"What if we went somewhere? We could both use getting out of the house." Grace suggested. Charlie shook his head.

"I'm sorry, I'm really not up for doing anything." He said.

"No, I don't mean doing anything." She stopped herself as a smile spread across her face. The shear level of cuteness alone made Charlie smile.

"Uh oh. That's your idea face." He said. Grace laughed.

"I have an idea face?" She asked.

"If you did, that would be it. What are you thinking?" Charlie joked.

"I have an idea." She said.

"No shit?" Charlie messed with her.

"Ha ha. Go change into something comfy and then wait for me in the bedroom. Is it okay if I come with you?" Grace asked. Charlie nodded.

"Yeah. I always enjoy your company. But I really don't have energy for anything. I just kinda wanted to get out of the house." Charlie said, nervous about possibly disappointing her.

"I know. It's not extensive, trust me." Grace said. Charlie chose to trust her. And if he was honest, the idea was growing on him a little. He was beginning to creep out of the episode slightly.

Charlie changed into sweatpants and sat down on the bed and played games on his phone until Grace told him she was ready. Charlie stood and walked into the living room to find Grace standing by the couch with a backpack.

"Oh no, what are we doing?" Charlie asked. Grace had a huge proud smile on her face.

"You'll like it, trust me." She said. He grabbed the car keys and the couple headed out the door.

In the car, Charlie opened up the group chat with Condi and Grizzly.

Charlie: "Grace is taking me somewhere. Don't know where, but I'm not alone.

Condi: "Hell yeah! Have fun!"

Grizzly: "Thanks!"

Charlie looked around as they drove. "Where are we going?" He asked. Grace smiled again, giggling. Charlie felt the familiar feeling of butterflies in his stomach.

"You're so fuckin cute." He said.

"Aww. You're cute too." Grace said.

They drove the rest of the way in silence.

Charlie looked up from his phone when he felt the car slow. Grace was pulling into a parking spot on the side of the street. Charlie looked around and knew exactly where they were immediately. He looked back at her and smiled.

"Hi." She said adorably.

"I love you." Charlie said.

"Yay! I love you too!" Grace bounced up and down in the seat when she saw how happy Charlie looked. They got out of the car and Grace grabbed the backpack.

Grace had taken them to a park that was very special to them. It was the location of their fifth date ever, where Charlie asked her to be his girlfriend. They went to the park every anniversary, as well as on regular dates and just having fun. They've had numerous picnics there and loved messing around on the swings and slides when the kids leave.

The couple walked over to their usual spot on the grass and Grace dropped he backpack and unzipped it. She pulled out a large blanket and spread it out. She reached back into the bag and pulled out the book Charlie was reading.

"If you want it." She said. Charlie took the book gratefully. The two sat down together, and Grace pulled out her book. They set the books aside and lied down next to each other on the blanket, looking up at the sky. They just sat in silence together, listening to kids playing nearby, birds and insects chirping, and the occasional plane going by overhead.

This was exactly what Charlie needed.

Without looking, Charlie reached over and grabbed Grace's hand in his. Grace squeezed his hand, which made him look her way. She was looking at him as well. The two shared a quiet smile and turned back to the clouds that slowly rolled overhead.

They sat for a while before Grace decided she wanted to read. She sat up and crossed her legs, picking up her book. Charlie moved so that he was lying on his side facing away from her with his head on her lap. Grace chuckled when he did this, and immediately began running her hand through his hair in a way she knew was calming to him. Charlie relaxed into the touch quickly as he watched the kids that were there running around playing games.

As he watched, he thought about his friends. He thought about how much they genuinely cared about him and his well-being. He thought about Grace and how she dropped everything to take him to a place she knew made him extremely happy.

Charlie awkwardly twisted and turned around so he was facing Grace.

"I love you." He said quietly. Grace looked down at him from her book.

"I love you too." She said.

"I don't deserve you." Charlie mumbled.

"What?" Grace frowned at him, immediately closing her book.

"You just...You're amazing and you dropped everything to try to make me feel better and I'm a selfish piece of shit." Charlie said, fiddling with the drawstring of her hoodie to distract himself from the tears welling up in his eyes. He really hated how easily he was set off in these episodes. He hated being vulnerable.

"Charlie don't talk about yourself like that! You are not a piece of shit! Nor are you selfish! You're an amazing guy!" Grace said. Charlie didn't respond, but continued playing with her drawstring. Grace grabbed the drawstring from him and moved it behind her shoulder, along with the second one.

"Charlie, don't say that about yourself. Your brain is being a douche and is saying things that aren't true. You can't listen to those thoughts." She said seriously. Charlie just sighed.

"Look at me, Love." Grace said. Charlie dragged his eyes up to look at her. She looked amazing with the sunlight shining behind her. She saw the tears in his eyes and immediately her heart skipped.

Charlie rarely ever cried. She knew that his emotions were very easily set off when he was in these episodes, and her concern tripled.

"Charlie. You are an amazing, incredible person. You're sweet and talented and smart and hilariously funny and a goofball." She paused to laugh here, and Charlie cracked a small smile. "And you're caring and kind and selfless and just all around an amazing guy. I love you so much because you're all those things. I love you with or without the depression. I love you in spite of the depression. I love you despite what it tells you. That will never change." She continued.

That was enough for him. With his brain still screaming at him that he in no way deserved the amazing girl sitting in front of him, Charlie broke down. He pushed himself off of her lap and sat up, rubbing his eyes as his shoulders shook.

"Charlie, Charlie. Hey, it's okay." Grace moved next to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm sorry." He half-laughed, half-sobbed. "I don't..." He couldn't find the right words.

"Charlie it's okay." Grace said. "Don't ever apologize to me for crying. That is a baseline, first of all." Charlie took his glasses off and covered his face with his hands. Grace moved them to the side where neither of them could crush them accidentally.

"Charlie it's okay. I promise you, whatever that little voice in your head is trying to tell you, it's wrong. You do deserve me. You deserve everything good that comes your way. You're amazing, Love." Grace turned back to her boyfriend.

"Stop." Charlie said, sniffling.

"Not until you believe me." Grace said seriously. Charlie dropped his hands and stared at the blanket. He frowned.

"Where are my glasses?" He asked. Grace forced herself to hold back on commenting how much he sounded like an adorable child and just handed him his glasses. Charlie replaced them on his face, sniffling. A quick glance around them revealed no one in their area and no one farther off paying them any attention. A sense of relief washed over him quickly, but his gaze returned to the blanket.

"Charlie, look at me." Grace said gently. Charlie shook his head. "Yes, look at me Love." Charlie turned his head slowly in her direction. She smiled at him. "Hey. What can I do? Anything in the world." She asked. Charlie shrugged, looking back down at the blanket. He sniffled, thinking.

"Ice cream?" He asked, glancing at her.

"You want ice cream?" Grace asked. Charlie nodded sadly, and Grace smiled. "Aw Charlie." She leaned forward and hugged him, making him chuckle. "Let's go get ice cream." She said. Charlie rubbed his eyes as they both stood. They put their books away and folded the blanket, having a bit of a difficult time because the wind had picked up. This only made it more funny to them as they struggled. Eventually, they gave up and just wadded the blanket up and tossed it into the back seat. Grace volunteered to drive again.

There was a much smaller version of the smile that permanently resided on Charlie's face present now. Grace counted that as a small victory. She could tell that he was slowly coming out of the fog. She had to be extra careful now. He was in an extremely vulnerable state. Any sudden push in either direction would overwhelm him and he'd sink back down.

They drove to the ice cream place in verbal silence. Grace had turned the radio on quietly, and Charlie didn't seem to mind it. They pulled up quickly to their favorite ice cream place.

"You want the usual?" Grace asked. Charlie nodded. At the sudden prospect of human interaction, he'd gone silent, shoving his hands inside his sweatpants pockets. Grace noticed this and stepped forward when the employee asked how he could help them. She ordered quickly and returned to Charlie with the two cups. Charlie took them while she grabbed napkins and plastic spoons for them, and they stepped outside.

"What do you wanna do? You wanna eat them in the car? You wanna go home? Do you wanna eat them here?" Grace asked. Charlie looked around.

"I don't wanna go home yet." He said. Grace felt her heart soar. The fact that he didn't want to go home and curl up in the dark was amazing.

"Where do you wanna go?" She asked, trying to stay casual. Charlie hesitated and shrugged.

"Let's just sit down here and eat our ice creams." He said, gesturing to one of the tables. Grace nodded, and they sat down. They ate mostly in silence, enjoying each other's company and looking around. An idea popped into Grace's head, and she took out her phone. She typed furiously, and Charlie laughed.

"You training for a speed-typing tournament or something?" He asked. Grace made a face at him, but didn't look up from her phone. She found what she was looking for and smiled.

"I know what we're doing next. If you don't wanna go home, I mean." She said, putting her phone away. Charlie tilted his head at her adorably, and Grace's smile grew.

"Uh oh." He said, smiling.

"You'll like it. It's chill." She said. Charlie nodded, taking another spoonful of his ice cream. Grace noticed that he had gone a bit quiet.

"And it'll just be us, just so you know." She added. She saw Charlie visibly relax his shoulders a bit and she smiled to herself. He nodded again.

"Okay." He agreed.

They finished up their ice creams and got back in the car. Grace drove them to their third location. As they arrived, it was close to sunset. Charlie smiled as he looked around.

"I didn't know the drive-in was open on Wednesdays." He said, looking at Grace with excitement gleaming in his eyes. Grace smiled proudly.

"It's open tonight! Special night." She said. Charlie frowned.

"Why's it special?" He asked.

"Cause we're here." Grace joked. Charlie rolled his eyes and tried to hide the fact that he was blushing.

"Okay that was cute I'll give you that one." He said.

"Yes!" Grace said, pumping her fist.

"But seriously, what's going on?" Charlie asked.

"You'll see after sunset. It's a special showing. But for now, the show is Mr. Sun disappearing behind the hills...Or...The screen, I guess." Grace said. They both laughed.

They talked casually as the sun set. As soon as it was dark, the screen turned on. A countdown of five minutes appeared. As they were waiting, a thought suddenly crossed Charlie's mind.

"Oh! I gotta text the guys." He grabbed his phone from his pocket and opened the group text with Condi and Grizzly.

Charlie: "Grace took me to the park where we go for our anniversaries, then to get ice cream, and now we're at a drive-in!"

The guys responded very quickly.

Condi: "Fuck yeah dude!"

Grizzly: "Awww that's awesome!! How are you doing?"

Charlie: "A lot better. Thanks for understanding you guys. Can we record tomorrow?"

Condi: "I'm free"

Grizzly: "Down!!"

Charlie: "Awesome. Thanks you guys."

Condi: "No problem man! Go enjoy the movie!"

Charlie smiled at his phone and turned it off. He slipped it back into his pocket.

"How are the guys?" Grace asked.

"They're fine. Oh, it's starting!" Charlie noticed the lights around them dim. They hooked up the wires and fiddled with the radio controls until they heard the film beginning. Charlie looked at Grace as soon as he heard the intro music, recognizing it as one of his favorite movies.

"Jaws?" He asked. Grace smiled widely.

"Surprise! It's a special screening! They're doing it all week. Some old classic film thing. Tomorrow is Back To The Future, then the next day is Child's Play." She said.

"That's so cool! Fuck yeah!" Charlie got excited, and Grace wanted to jump up and down. He was smiling as he looked back at the screen. Grace smiled as well as she got out of the car.

"Where are you going?" Charlie asked.

"You'll see!" Grace said. She opened the passenger door and moved some stuff around. When Charlie tried to turn to see what she was doing, she pointed at the screen.

"Watch the movie!" She said. They both laughed.

Grace moved more around and then closed the passenger door and returned to the drivers seat with the backpack she had brought. She produced a few bags of chips, some apples, a few PB&J sandwiches, some cookies, and some pretzels.

Charlie stared at her in awe.

"When did you do all of this?" He asked.

"When I sent you to change." She said.

"But...That was so fast!" Charlie blinked. Grace just smiled bigger. She put everything back in the backpack and put the backpack in the middle of her and Charlie.

"You're amazing." Charlie said seriously.

"I love you." Grace said.

"I love you more."

They both leaned over the backpack and kissed before turning back to the screen.

As the movie played out, they ate their sandwiches and snacks. Charlie laughed more and more each time Grace got scared by a jump scare or loud noise.

When the movie ended, they decided to just drive around the town and listen to music and talk. However, this quickly turned into them blasting music and singing at the top of their lungs while simultaneously laughing at how out of key they both were.

It was around 1:00am when they got back home. Charlie quickly texted the boys that they were home safe and that he'd had an amazing time. The guys were super happy for him, of course, and promptly told him to go to bed. They agreed to try for recording tomorrow and said their good nights.

It wasn't until he got into bed that Charlie realized how tired he was. He and Grace cuddled up next to each other with their books and read until they fell asleep.

Grace was the first one to pass out. Charlie carefully marked her place in her book as well as his own and moved them onto his nightstand. He turned out the light and lied down next to her.

As he lied in bed, he replayed the day in his mind. He felt far beyond grateful to have such amazing friends and such an incredible girlfriend. He knew he was lucky, and he vowed to never take any of them for granted. He carefully leaned over and kissed Grace on the side of her head.

"Night Love." He whispered.

"Hmm. Night Charlie." Grace hummed quietly. Charlie's smile grew as he lied down fully.

He was asleep within minutes, the smile on his face remaining present into the night.

A/N: Believe it or not this was the first part I ever started writing for this one-shot book. It's taken me that long to finish it. Finally it's done! Am I gonna proof it before posting..............Maybe.
(Update: I did proofread it lol)
As always, thank you so much for reading!! I hope you guys enjoyed it!! I hope you have a great rest of your day today, whatever time it is where you are! Stay safe! 😊✌🏻♥️