I don't know how to feel, should I feel grateful, or should I be sad? My only sister just now in a comatose state, I should feel sad because even doctor could not tell us when and how she will wake up. The damage in her head just too terrible to be predicted. Mom and dad are coming, they throw their tantrum to me, saying that they are disappointed about how weak and careless I am. That I can't take care of my sister, caused her to be like zombie.

I have an urge to laugh by how terrible they are, crying over their daughter who's now unconscious for days and forgot about the thing Soomi ever did. She took other soul too; they took the life other person too and not even saying sorry to Sewon's family.

I am against their choice to let everything forgotten, that's why I am rebelling to them. I step out from the house and living all alone. But the weak heart Min Yoongi is still inside me, every time Soomi call me and calling me oppa, my heart always melting and always ready to hurt someone's feeling, the feeling of someone I would put all of my love to, Kim Jennie.

Jimin might smile at me every time I look at him, but deep down there I knew that he fakes everything. The laugh, the smile, even the joke, he had force himself to look as genuine as he can. I know this group is everything for him, even he tries to forget the pain of his just because he wants us to stay whole. The BTS.

But different with Jennie, I know she will do everything to put something on its spot. I know that the day will come, I know that she will do this. The time I saw her laying on the asphalt, blood come out from her nose I feel like my soul already leaving my body. Hearing the news about Lisa's friend even make me awfully scared, that I will lose her forever.

But today, as I finish reading fairy tale for her in her room in the hospital, she wakes up. She blinks her eyes once, twice, thrice, watching me who's only looking at her gawking. I was ready to take the tantrum of hers, but it never happens. It never going to happen.

"Who are you?" she said.

--

I should've never asked her to see Panpriya. I should've never letting her living with her own thought with Panpriya. She is good after what she did in Thailand back then, she went to psychiatrist, she took the medicine, and changed so much. I was so happy. Until the gasoline meet the fire.

She swallowed by the fire she always loves, and then she gone. My Jinny is gone. And I have no one to love with the same way as her. No more her, no more love, no more live.

I never let her know how important she is for me, but now I will. Feeling the fresh wind, which is sweeping my face and my hair, I opened my hand, flying.

Will you happy if I give you the new wings too?

So, you will know that,

Kim Han Bin, I love you.

That's the last text she sent to me, the timer text which arrived minutes ago to my phone. I smile bitterly watching the beautiful sky in front of me. Why did the sky look so beautiful? Is that why you fly away from me? Is that why you leave me? Because you are wanting to live on the sky like the angel just like what you repeat to me since we were kid? Living like a beautiful angel, and watching everyone playing their role life while commenting at their silliness?

"You are not fair." I shout to the sky still opening my both arms. "Why are you so greedy to have that place all alone? Why don't you ask me to come with you?" I shout louder but there is no answer.

Why? Hot water stream down from my eyes down to my chin. I hate this, I had promise her that I won't do such a shame thing.

Superman never cries.

But I am not superman. I am not a superman; I am a weak man. I am a useless man. I chuckled as the thought come across my mind, brushing my itchy nose, wiping the tears I smile genuinely at the sky. Take steps to the front, straightly, feeling the hard floor till I feel nothing.

Thank you for giving me these wings, angel. So, I could fly, to see you.

I fly.

--

"What don't you understand in don't come?" she pushes me hard as I try to enter the room.

"Please let me see her. I beg you." I knelled down in front of her who's now standing in front of the door.

"And then what?" I look at her, gripping my pants on my laps as I bit my lips. "Then what will you do after you see her? Can you make everything okay? Can you return everything she lost? Can you?" I look down at her shoes, no I can't.

"Jungkook, it's not the right time. Let's go." I push away Namjoon Hyung's arm as he tries to take me. "Come on don't be stubborn young man." He said and then force me to stand up, but still, I refuse him.

"I love her." I said boldly in front of mom's face, only to earning a dry chuckled from her.

"That's the same stupid excuse Lisa's father said before he left my family." I am about to tell her that she should believe in what father said, because he does, he does love her. My mouth opened but then one figure which appeared from the other side of the door make my heart stop beating. She looks back at me when I see her. 3 weeks of comatose make her face look pale as if she has no blood inside her body.

I feel happy that after such a long waiting, hoping for the miracle to happen, finally she wakes up. I smile as I stand up in front of her. Wanting to hug her so bad. But she seems not buying my existence because she is now looking at mom's direction innocently asking one question that I know will make me lost her feeling.

"Mom. Where is Jinny?"

Forever.

--

PS : The next chapter will be the 'the end' for this story. And of course, it's not mean that I willingly stop Lisa and Jungkook's life like this. To remind you that this story goes up to 56 chapters, I will split it into 2 books. Wishing all the sorrow will go, because I am the type of someone who is craving for a happy ending.