Empty.

That's what left for me. Fight, they said. Wake up, they told me. But what for? I am tired. I don't want to do that anymore. There is no remaining for me, maybe I have too many sins for me to paid for. My heart feels the ache, her everything hunted me every night in my sleep force me to never forget her.

Her long orange hair, her silly smile, the voice of her laughter, her full plump lips, her milky white skin, her long beautiful legs, her almond eyes. Her unspoken feeling that I try to understand, is it love or only pity I never understand, for her being with me is enough. I don't care if it's love or pity. I need her. Her touch and her kiss that never failed to make me drunk, her moan that make me fly up to the sky, way too high for me to prepare for the fall part.

Everytime I look at her, I believe that is love in her eyes, in every touch she gave me, even in every harsh words she gave me, I believe there is love in it. But why she must left. Am I that blind?

"You can't die just like this." Someone's hand touching my skin, processing to hug me. I hate the feeling if it's not from the cold hand of my love, it was cold too, but it's different. "Look at how warm she makes you feel."

"Count sacrifices she made for you, Kookie-ah." She beam nuzzling her nose on my back, back hugging me who's still facing her with my back, un move. "Will you stop after she told you so?" No, I don't want to. But, she doesn't want me. She throw me away. What else can I do?

"Call me crazy, but if I were you, I won't. I will never stop." Just how? "You know how much I love you, you know what I did for you even though I saw you already found her, the one who make you smile the way you used to be when Sewon-i still alive." No, it's not the way.

"I put cyanide inside Sewon-i water, I were the one who break the leg of Naeun in the ice skate resort, I were the one who send Nayeon to the hospital after I hit her head with a rock, and I were the one who stabbed your barbie. I was about to kill her again when she just comeback but then-"

"Stop. Just stop." I beam, finally I wake up and talk with someone else, my throat feels so sore but I don't want to hear it anymore. I don't want to know bad things she made because of me.

"I never have you but at least I am not giving up easily just like you do now." She smiled after waking up from her sleep form, sat beside me with her sparkling eyes. "I really really love you that I will never lose you easily, I mean, now I know how she means to you, and what the two of you feel to each other. I will kill every woman who is not worth it for you, and she worth it. I want you to have her, fight for her."

"She did it again, there is no use."

"So it means you let her go with someone who's capable to destroy her oneday?" I look at her, not really understand. "Ain't I ever warn you about who was Song Mino? How dangerous he can be. She can told me that he is different now, but she never realize that I knew him more. Because once, I was the same person like him."

"But you change."

"I hold on Mingyu." She cut my word. "But I will still kill anyone who try to prey on you."

"Sto-"

"I will never stop. Because that's love, that's how I love you. If I should let you go, you should go with someone better than me. But how can you call your feeling toward her with love if you let her go no matter with what kind of monster she would end her life with. You are weak, Jeon Jungkook. Pathetic."

--

"You don't need to do this, panpriya." He said softly caressing my hair with all the love he had. Can I do that, to stop everything and once again disappear, can I? "Even though you told me a lie I know exactly what had happen."

"Marco, I am okay." I said softly try to be calm, to not wake the little brother I had in my arm.

"Your mom also knew it, she cried that night asking me to ask you to stop and go." He said. "We can provide you the plane ticket and-"

"I won't run away, Marco. I already leave my everything for this, I will face what I made."

"What do you wait for?" he ask disbelieve. "He breaks your leg."

"That's my fault."

"Go, panpriya. I beg you."