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chapter fifteen | home
episode eight

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Neave hadn't expected to return from wherever she had been to darkness.

The volcra screeched, snarling in anticipation as Neave saw them swirling in the seemingly endless black void above them. But her eyes were on Inej, who now helped Neave sit up, checking to make sure that she was fine.

And she was, other than the tingling pain that was buried deep beneath her chest. Recalling what had happened caused more pain than the actual broken bones, though.

"I..." Neave was speechless, unknowing what else to say. "You came for me."

She kept repeating the words, stuck on a loop in shock. But, her head turned away from the three, falling onto Alina as she felt what little joy evaporate. The Sun Summoner did not move nor did she appear to be breathing.

"No..." whispered Neave, reaching for Alina. "She can't be."

It wasn't long ago that Neave had desired Alina's death — wanted nothing more than revenge for her mother. Now, here she was staring at Alina's body in disbelief. They had both been through so much at the hands of the Darkling, so how could it end like this for Alina now?

"What happened?" Mal questioned, climbing back on board as Neave looked up in surprise.

If Mal was here, then did that mean her father was dead? It didn't seem possible now that Neave knew her father was an immortal figure but had the brief moment with her mother's been nothing more than a delusional dream?

"It's Kirigan's heartrender," said Inej.

Sensing Inej's stress, Neave moved closer, offering her hand as the two sent a silent prayer for Alina. Mal took Alina in his arms, not believing for a moment that she was gone.

"Come on, Alina," cried Mal. "Alina, come back for me, please? Alina?" His hand cupped her cheek, wiping the blood that coated her lip. Neave squeezed onto Inej's hand tightly as the tears trickled down her cheeks. "Please wake up."

The darkness shifted above them with the volcra closing in as Neave's eyes flickered upwards, feeling hopeless. There was nothing she could do, not when her power would only result as a beacon for the volcra. Without the Sun Summoner, they were screwed.

"Please come back," Mal continued. "Please."

A volcra attempted to attack with Inej knocking Neave over before falling backwards herself, where the two dodged the sharp talon claws. As if knowing Neave would be the first target, Kaz moved closer with his cane held high as if to protect her.

"Come on, please," said Mal.

Neave's eyes fell on Alina once more, unable to stop herself from sniffling. But then Alina gasped with her lips forming Mal's name that caused the young boy to break. Neave's hand cupped her mouth, where she then exchanged a relieved look with Inej.

"I'm here," Mal told her as Alina's eyes slowly opened. "Don't you dare say, 'meet me in the meadow'."

Alina tried to smile but the moment was ruined with the volcra. It struck the group as Neave's eyes widened, but then there was a blinding light as it shot upwards into the Fold. The volcra screeched with those that survived fleeing from the brightness.

Once again, a tunnel of light was created with the promise of survival as the skiff finally passed through the Fold.

Neave's face smoothed in relief as the light hit her face, to which she opened her eyes with her irises landing on the three crows.

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A campfire had been set up with the survivors surrounding it, becoming allies instead of being divided. Kaz had gone looking for supplies while Neave stood alone, staring at the Fold with her hands wrapped around her stomach in comfort. One hand cupped her ribs, where her teeth ground together to hide her pain.

The Darkling — her father — had fallen to the monsters he had created. Neave believed he got the end he deserved, but she couldn't quite shake her grief. In another world, perhaps Aleksander Kirigan had not been so corrupted, where loving Annette and Lidia had simply been enough.

But the downfall of her father was not the only thing that plagued Neave's mind. Annette and Marian had both warned Neave of the dangers of her father and that it was best that she did not get involved. If Neave got involved and chose to train in her power, then she could stumble down the same path as her father, leading to a longer life than she deserved.

Neave did not want her power, but she couldn't help but stare at the Fold and blame herself. It might not have been her creation, but it came still at the fault of her family. How could Neave walk away?

"Neave," said Kaz, approaching her. "I have clothes for you to change."

She pressed her lips together, staring down at the black dress, along with the necklace. This wasn't who she was — Neave was no powerful, immortal figure like her father had been. Her place was in Ketterdam, where she was known simply as a barmaid.

"You know," Neave said, not looking at Kaz. "You told me a while ago that in this world, we save ourselves. I... I was so lonely that I thought for a second that perhaps my place was by my father's side." Then her eyes met Kaz's, unable to read him like usual. "I could have saved myself, prevented this from happening."

"There wasn't anything you could have done," Kaz told her.

"I played at being his daughter to save myself and the last of my family," Neave admitted. "That was a selfish choice compared to the amount who were slaughtered today."

"And what would you have done, Neave?" Kaz questioned, frowning at her. "You're skilled, but you're untrained. You wouldn't have stood a chance."

"I know," Neave whispered, which left her unable to contain the growing desire inside her to learn her power so she would not be so vulnerable again. "And now here I stand, grieving for that monster."

"He was still your father, Neave," said Kaz. "You're allowed to grieve."

There were no words as Neave's eyes were stuck on Kaz, hating that she still struggled to understand him. Despite everything, Neave still didn't know if Kaz wanted her around for the right reasons. But... she could trust him and that was everything she needed.

"I thought you left me," Neave admitted. "Yet, you still came back for me. Why, Kaz?"

"You're a valuable asset," he answered.

Neave rolled her eyes, struggling to hide her smile. Those words were the closest Kaz would get to admitting that he liked having Neave around. Maybe, in some way, Kaz Brekker cared about Neave.

"Thank you," she told him again. "But I won't stay with you if you simply plan on using me, Kaz. I have to stay hidden. No one can know who I am or what power I have."

"I understand," he said as if he had expected her response. "If you want to leave, then I won't stop you. But I want you to stay, Neave, and not just because of your potential. I need someone like you on my team."

"Not as a barmaid?" Neave questioned.

"A barmaid but with additional duties now," Kaz offered.

Neave smiled at that. "I suppose I do owe you, after all."

"Consider your debt paid," Kaz told her, and then reached into his pocket as the delicate gold chain rested in the palm of his gloved hand with Neave's eyes falling on the rose. Seeing it, her heart strained with regret, hating herself for being so foolish to sacrifice something so priceless. "You can have it back."

"But..." Neave stared at the necklace in disbelief.

"It's worthless, Neave," said Kaz, dropping the chain in her hand. "But not to you. I only agreed to let you come so that I could figure you out."

"And have you figured me out?" Neave asked.

"I'm starting to," he admitted, offering a hint of a smile. "You're more than just a barmaid, Neave. More than the General's daughter."

Neave felt like she was herself with the three — acting recklessly with a hint of sweetness. But to be offered a place within the Dregs wasn't something to take lightly since they were a criminal gang. Yet, Neave fit in with them in her own way.

"If I join you," said Neave, trying not to let it show what she truly desired. "Then what would be expected of me? You have your sharp-shooter and your wraith, but where do I fit in?"

"I can think of a few ways," he answered with the silent promise that there was always a place for Neave. "That's if you trust me?"

Neave felt the corner of her lips tug upwards, finding the question comedic more than anything. Between them, the matter of trust had gone back and forth, and now here they both were with perhaps an understanding falling between them for the first time.

"That depends," said Neave. "On if you trust me."

"Surprisingly, I do," Kaz admitted. "And I don't trust easily, Neave."

"I know," she had more than enough evidence of that. "I trust you, Kaz. But I have one condition on joining you."

"What's that?" Kaz asked.

"If Alina needs me, then I will drop everything to help her," Neave informed him, where she suspected it might be the same for Inej too.

"Very well," he held out his hand as Neave stared at it, slowly accepting it with her smaller hand as his gloves were cold from the cool breeze. "The deal is the deal."

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Neave changed behind the bushes quickly before the two made their way back towards the campfire. The jewelled necklace hung heavy in Neave's pocket, where she planned on selling it at the first chance she got with the aim to use the money to free Inej from the Menagerie.

The small rose hung back around her neck, light-weight and delicate compared to the thick jewels. It felt as if a small piece of her that had been missing had returned with Neave fully at ease now.

Everyone looked exhausted, shaken by the day's events. Jesper saw Neave, wrapping an arm around her with a smile as if he'd never get over seeing her alive.

"You joining the team, then?" Jesper asked.

"I am," Neave told him, grinning. "Do you think you can share?"

"What's mine is yours," Jesper declared.

Neave shook her head as her eyes fell on Inej and Alina, noticing Inej's awestruck expression. She might have joined the Dregs, but if Inej planned on staying with Alina, then Neave would stay too.

"I've never met a Saint before," Inej told Alina.

"I've never been a Saint before," said Alina, placing a hand on Inej's arm as Inej's hand rested on top of it.

"Wherever you are, whatever you need," said Inej. "My hand is yours." 

"I like that hand with a dagger in it." Alina then reached to her side, removing her own dagger as she handed it to Inej. "I couldn't hold onto yours, so take mine as a replacement. It's not much, but it'll fend off a bully or two."

Inej looked lost for words as she accepted the knife as Neave watched her face brighten with a smile. Inej named her knives after saints, so to be given a knife by the Sun Summoner truly meant the world to Inej.

"I know just what to name it," Inej told Alina.

Sankta Alina.

Then Alina's head rose with her eyes colliding with Neave's. A smile was exchanged between the two as Neave sunk down on the log next to Inej as her new friend supported her with her pain. But Neave was unknowing of what she was supposed to say to Alina. Instead, Alina's hand reached past Inej as she rested her hand on Neave's arm in support.

"You don't have to say anything," Alina promised. "I am sorry, Neave — sorry for your mother, and for your loss."

"Thank you," Neave said. "I'm sorry that I wanted to kill you."

Alina laughed. "You were not the only one."

Touched, Neave's hand went to squeeze Alina's in gratitude, but was surprised as she felt a burst of energy. The light flared, trickling from Alina as embers danced around her body, brightening their campfire as everyone shielded their eyes.

Alina pulled back her hand, staring at Neave in surprise, but she didn't look shocked as if she understood. Neave, however, didn't quite understand what had happened as she stared down at her hand.

"Well, that was something," Jesper summarised.

"What happened?" Kaz asked, looking between the two.

It was like Alina's power had been amplified, but why suddenly at Neave's touch? She had felt the power, sensed it stirring beneath Alina's skin, and then the power had come forward.

"Nothing," said Alina, brushing it off. "My power just reacts to Neave."

"Like an amplifier," Zoya announced with her eyes stuck on Neave.

Neave stared down at her hands again in confusion. Both her mother's had said that if Neave sought an amplifier, then she would become more powerful to trigger an immortal lifespan. So was there no way to stop it?

"Anyway," said Jesper, stepping forward with a bag of clothes. "Step one for any good plan: a change of clothes." Mal stood up, accepting the bag. "It's worked for me."

"Here," Inej helped Alina stand.

"Thank you," said Mal.

"So..." Alina's eyes fell on Kaz. "Will you still be trying to kidnap me?"

"'Course not," Jesper answered.

Kaz turned to look at him. "Have you found religion, too?"

"No, it's just..." Jesper sighed. "I'm exhausted. Besides... it'd be bad form to kidnap someone after they saved your life."

"You're quite valuable, you know?" Kaz told Alina.

Alina moved past both Mal and Inej, walking closer to Kaz as she pulled out the delicate crown piece from her pocket to show him. "So is this," she said as Kaz took the piece, inspecting it himself.

"I saw this on a portrait of one of the queens in the Little Palace," Kaz recalled.

"It's not a gift," Alina stated. "It's to keep quiet about who I am. Where I go from here."

Kaz's gaze met Neave's, who stood behind Alina next to Inej. Then, he pocketed the piece as if knowing it was the right choice for all sides of the party.

"The deal is the deal," he told Alina, where the two shook hands.

Both Alina and Mal disappeared to change while the other's remained at the campfire. Neave stared at the flames, finding herself a little shaken still from everything. When they returned, Alina threw her dress on the open flames with Neave now wishing she had done the same.

"I didn't expect it to burn at all," Mal commented. "But it can be destroyed in the end. Just like him."

Neave's breathing hitched as she stared at the flames, hating the reminder of her father being dead. Inej's fingers wrapped around Neave's arm in a silent understanding that she saw her grief and was there for her.

There was still her aunt and cousin, but it now felt like a curse for Neave to go searching for them, where she would be nothing more than a disruption to their life. For their sake, she would leave them alone.

Alina, however, had turned to the Fold.

"I know that look," Mal said, studying Alina. "You're staring down your new bully."

"We're worse off than we were before, Mal," Alina told him. "Kirigan turned on his own people—"

"Okay," Mal comforted her, taking her hand. "You're not ready yet."

"Neither were they," said Alina.

"That's not your fault," Mal said.

"Who do you think the world will blame?" Alina questioned.

The majority who knew about Neave had died in the Fold, so her identity was secret as long as the six around her kept it quiet. No one knew that the Darkling's daughter existed nor that she had a part to play in the devastation. But everyone knew that Alina had been there by his side.

"We'll come back," Mal offered. "I promise. You will tear it down. Just not today."

Alina has everything she needed.

Neave could see that now in Mal.

Zoya stood up, having been silent among them all this time.

"I have to go," she now declared.

"Wait!" Inej stood up. "You can't go back into the Fold."

"To Novokribirsk," said Zoya, staring at the fallen city. "I had family in that city. I need to know how much of it is lost."

"It's dangerous to go looking for the dead," Kaz warned her. "What you see may haunt you for the rest of your days."

Neave knew that was true more than ever now. "You should go," Neave told her. "The truth is better than not knowing."

"Not going will haunt me more," Zoya agreed, then she moved closer to Alina, where she addressed her. "You can't stay in Ravka. The Apparat will try to keep his power. Blame this on all of us. The people will turn on Grisha again. You need to find new allies." Her eyes slid briefly to Neave. "One's who are not related to the General."

Alina hugged Zoya, holding onto her in a promise that she will do everything that Zoya had just told her. "Then I'll come back," said Alina. "And reclaim our country."

"I still don't like you," Zoya decided. "But I'm grateful for you. So remember this. Saints become martyrs before they get to be heroes. So... stay alive."

"They'll have to get through me first," Mal declared.

"You need more than bullets and bravado to survive the people hunting you now," Zoya warned them all with her eyes falling on Neave for the second time. "You must hide, Neave, for everyone's sake, including yours. If word gets out about the General, then they will make an enemy out of you. But there are worse people in this world who will force you to use your power."

"Neave will be safe with us," Kaz announced.

Zoya studied Kaz. "I don't believe that for a second."

Then she was gone, heading towards the remains of a city as Neave admired her bravery.

"It's a two-day walk to Os Kervo from here, given our condition," Kaz informed them all.

"Two days as the crow walks," said Jesper.

"We can smuggle ourselves onto a ship to Ketterdam from there," Kaz suggested.

They then doused the flames, preparing to leave as Neave pulled the hood of her new coat above her head, hoping that Lidia Kirigan had died in the Fold too.

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Neave was a little slower than expected, given how she had a couple of broken ribs and was still weak from the torture she endured from Ivan. No one said anything, but Inej slowed down enough to walk with Neave so that she wasn't alone.

"Jesper can carry you," Inej offered.

"I'm fine," Neave reassured Inej. "Stop worrying about me."

"I promised you that I would not let the General take you," said Inej, still feeling guilty with the fact that she had failed. "I've spent a long time worrying about you now, Neave, that it has become natural. I am sorry, though, for failing you."

Neave's face softened as she turned to look at Inej. "You didn't fail me, Inej. You saved me. If it wasn't for the three of you and Mal, then I would likely be dead by now."

"But we should never have lost you," Inej argued.

"It was not your fault," said Neave. "If anything, it is mine as I should not have gone looking for lost family."

"You cannot blame yourself for that."

"Then you cannot blame yourself either."

Neave spotted a smile that Inej tried to hide.

"From now on," said Inej. "Where you go, I go."

"Then let's go home," suggested Neave, struggling to contain her joy at the words.

However, Neave had become shy, which wasn't like her, though she assumed it was because of Inej's quiet presence. It wasn't an uncomfortable shyness, but it made her reach for her rose necklace, finding the cool material soothing.

The two carried on walking in silence as Kaz eventually joined them, frowning as Neave gripped her side.

"We should find a healer," Kaz decided.

"That will attract attention," Neave reminded him. "Especially when all we have to pay is jewels from the Little Palace."

That silenced Kaz as he knew that they could not risk attracting any unwanted attention. A healer would be nice, but they couldn't waste any time when they needed to get back to Ketterdam. Then, once everything was behind them, could they heal.

"You berated me for letting her go, and now that's what you're doing," said Inej, changing the conversation as she tried to figure Kaz out. "So what's your angle?"

"Keeping my promise to you," he answered as Neave was generally surprised, wondering when their differences had been resolved. "I swore you won't go back to the Menagerie, and one of these gemstones covers it."

Neave struggled to contain her smile, relieved that either way, Inej would be free. There was no reveal of emotion from Inej, but Neave suspected she wouldn't let herself feel anything until she was truly free. But, her eyes were on Alina, too, where Neave wondered if she was torn between sticking with them or leaving with the Sun Summoner.

"She needs my help more than you," Inej said.

"But we do need you," Kaz told her, stopping as he looked at Inej. "I need you." Then his eyes flickered to Neave, where she could see through the cracks of his mask. "I need you both."

Neave swallowed, finding the day far too overwhelming with not just the three caring about Neave enough to save her, but the two now confessing that they needed her. Inej had made it clear that she'd follow Neave wherever she went and now Kaz was admitting that he needed them.

"I already told Neave," said Inej, moving closer to Kaz as if the two were like magnets. "Where she goes, I go. But... I want to see the look on Heleen's face when you clear the books. After that...we'll see."

Kaz looked a little lost for words as Inej walked in front, leaving the two of them staring after her. She shot Kaz a wink, to which he glowered at her before he started walking again.

"You know she'll stay," Neave told him.

But Kaz didn't say anything as if he feared the thought of the wraith leaving him. And maybe, deep down, he felt the same about Neave too.

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It took them two days to reach Os Kervo with Neave's side throbbing from the walking, but she had refused to let anyone carry her. There was a ship leaving for Ketterdam, to which the six boarded, a little conscious of attention. Both Mal and Alina kept their distance from the crows.

"We set out with a clear mission, a prize of a million kruge, and a new member on our crew," said Jesper, shooting Neave a wink as the four sat down with Neave choosing to sit next to Inej. "So... what did we learn? People with trains are evil. You can't kidnap a human sunbeam. Some fathers are better off not existing. And maybe, just maybe, greed is a poor motivator. True wealth is the friends you make along the way."

Neave smiled, hand over her heart. "Oh, Jesper. We love you, too."

"I just might be impressed," said Inej.

"I'm talking of Milo, of course," Jesper corrected.

Neave's smile evaporated, where she shoved him playfully before wincing.

"But I won't have my smelly friend when walking into Ketterdam," continued Jesper.

"Where Dreesen is waiting for our return," Inej reminded them.

"And Pekka Rollins," added Kaz.

It felt like a lifetime ago when she had run into Pekka Rollins, where back then, she had simply acted like a terrified girl. Now they would be returning to their fury and Neave simply hoped her secret would stay a secret, otherwise, they'd truly be screwed.

"They'll both want our heads once we show up without the Sun Summoner," Inej said.

"Well, I'm sure the boss has a plan," Jesper hoped, laughing to hide his nerves. "He wouldn't send us into a death trap..." there was no response from Kaz, which panicked Jesper as he looked over to their boss. "Tell me you have a plan. I don't care if it's a lie."

Kaz's eyes drifted along the three of them. "I have a plan. And, just how this all started... we're going to need a heartrender."

"Milana?" Jesper guessed.

"No," answered Kaz. "For this work, it has to be someone neither of them know. Someone desperate for work, with loyalties only to us."

Neave frowned, trying to think of anyone from the Crow Club that was a heartrender. Of course, those who weren't known by Dreesen or Pekka Rollins would either have to be new in town or in hiding for the two not to know of their existence.

"Neave, got any more tricks?" Jesper questioned, jokingly.

"I'm all out tricks," Neave told them. "I can't pull a heartrender out of my sleeve."

But, she could protect them from Dreesen or Pekka Rollins if it came to it. The rule was still in place: those who saw her power, had to die, and she was willing enough to kill if it protected the three she now sat with.

"Have a heart," a voice spoke. "Novokribirsk is in ruins. Their Sun Saint is dead."

"Excuse me," a young girl called for their attention from where she sat alone, appearing a little distressed. "Is what he said true?"

"I don't know if she's dead," Kaz was the one to answer. "But she is a saint."

Neave felt her eyebrows pop upwards, glancing across to Kaz with new eyes. It appeared that they had all changed in some way throughout this mission. Maybe Kaz didn't believe, but he believed in Alina, and that was enough for Inej.

Shaking her head, Neave let out a small laugh in disbelief.

It was strange to think that not too long ago, Neave had set out with nothing more than pennies in her pocket, searching for a family, who could love and want her. She had gone through a traumatic time, just to realise that she had been with her family the whole time.

So, now, Neave smiled, realising that she was truly happy.

Here, with them, she felt like she had found her place.

And her story had only just begun.

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I've just finished season two and Neave truly fits in perfectly for where I wanted her story to go!! I'm super excited to plan and start writing it this week!!