"How did you find me?" Lucas asked.

The question had been posed as dryly and flatly as possible, but it didn't stop the smile that graced Ten's lips when he heard it. He wasn't sure why it had made him smile—maybe because it was exactly how he'd expected Lucas to start a conversation. This conversation, in particular. In his own house.

"Baekhyun's been keeping tabs on everyone," Ten answered honestly, still unable to wipe the smile off his face. It was rare that he predicated a response and got it delivered exactly the way he wanted. It was rare to get anything these days, honestly. "Safety reasons."

"Because he's afraid we'll spill the moment we're out of earshot?" Lucas asked rhetorically, raising an eyebrow. He sighed, stepping away from the door and walking inside. After a moment of indecision, Ten followed.

The man's apartment was surprisingly messy. Well, not messy exactly, but definitely much less neat than Ten had thought it would be. It was a simple single-bedroom flat, with a kitchenette and actually quite comforting décor, full of exposed brick walls and warm lights. There were books strewn across the oak table in the middle of the sitting room, the Christmas red and green couches covered in what looked like fine white hairs.

"You have...a girlfriend?" Ten asked.

"A cat," Lucas answered, and as if on cue, a soft mewl emanated from somewhere below the mound of books. A small head broke the top, followed by a slinky cream-colored body that the head was attached to.

"Oh," Ten said, significantly amused by the sight. The Siamese padded over the tops of the books, almost slipping on a hardcover jacket before it ambled up to Ten to look at him with huge inquisitive eyes. "Cute."

"So why are you here?" Lucas asked, choosing not to provide any further details about his very adorable cat. Ten gave him a frown when his back was turned, and picked his way between the books to take a seat on one low green couch.

"Maybe I just wanted to see how you were doing," Ten said.

"Right," Lucas said wryly, picking up a mug of orange juice from the kitchen counter with one hand and two glasses with the other, and brought them over to the table. "Did Taemin send you to keep an eye on me? If so, he can rest assured. I'm not going to do anything disobedient."

"Can't go further than walking out when it comes to disobedience," Ten said breezily, crossing his legs. The cat seemed to take a liking to him, rubbing its head against the side of his leg. "Why does everything you say sound so kinky? I know you're being completely unironic, but it doesn't help you at all. I say own it."

Lucas stared at him blankly.

Ten sighed, then straightened. Out of further instinct and perhaps general lack of control, he picked up the cat, which gave a surprised yowl at first, then settled nicely in his lap. "I've come to change your mind."

Lucas poured the orange juice into two glasses, not looking at him. "That's not going to happen."

"Okay, how about this? I present my argument, and you decide whether you're going to listen to me or not." Ten picked up his glass and took a sip. "Wow, this is good. You need to drop the supplier's name."

"It's homemade."

Ten paused, pulling the corners of his mouth into an impressed crescent and raising his eyebrows. "You, sir, are full of surprises," he said. "Okay, well, here's the thing: I don't think you were a militant before."

"Louis, no," Lucas said sternly when the cat tried to paw at Ten's drink. Then he turned his attention back to the ravenet. "What do you think I was?"

"A mercenary," Ten said softly. The ideas were still very loosely connected together in his head, but Lucas's steady gaze told him that he'd hit the bullseye. "You probably left that life behind a long time ago, maybe for repentance—that's why you were so upset by the Irene thing, weren't you?"

For a long moment, Lucas didn't speak. Ten watched him take a sip of the amazing orange juice, keeping his eyes at an inconspicuous point on the table.

"I wasn't a mercenary, not exactly," Lucas finally said, but he was still not looking at him. "I was part of a unit. We did things under orders, not always for money, but because it was our job. Fixed loyalties. We never refused a job."

"Until you did."

"Until I did," Lucas agreed. He sighed, setting the glass back on the table. "It was after a teammate's death when I realized what was happening to us. The people—the voice who gave us the orders, it was all an illusion of perfect control, over us and our entire life. But that was all it was, really. An illusion." He shrugged. "It wasn't hard to break free, but the memories stay with you."

Ten pursed his lips. "You're a good guy, Lucas."

"I know," the man replied, sounding anguished. "I know that, but I don't believe it. Belief and knowledge are two very different things."

Ten leaned back against the pillows, thinking. Lucas looked so genuinely upset that it was a jarring sight. He had always been a man of few words and even fewer ideals. Even while agreeing with Taeyong, he had shown his opinion with a silent shake of the head. Looking at him like this, Ten almost didn't know what to do.

"Sometimes when I paint something with an ideal in mind," he said, making Lucas look up, "people make their own versions of it anyway. They come to my galleries—my studio sometimes, and they talk about what they think my painting could mean, and they're almost always wrong." He tilted his head. "But they're not. Not really. Most things, like art, only really mean to you what you want them to mean."

Lucas frowned.

"You're a good guy," Ten repeated firmly. "You're a great guy, Lucas, and that's true because I believe it. A lot of other people believe it. Taemin, too, as crazy as it might sound, believes it. You did bad things in the past, sure, but what we're doing as a team isn't bad," he stressed. "What we're doing is helping people. Saving them. That's what Taemin wanted to do, not whatever he ended up doing. His intentions are good, Lucas, just like yours."

Louis the cat meowed in agreement, but Lucas's face barely changed. It was strange seeing him this way, like a canvas after turpentine or a grandma in her underwear. "What are you trying to convince me of, Ten? That I'm like Taemin and therefore I should help him?"

"Aren't you?" Ten challenged. "Taemin believed in Irene in the past to make up for his mistakes, the way you believed in Taemin. The only difference is that you actually did something good. Irene believes what she's doing is good, too, but Lucas—you see things differently from other people, without their opinions and beliefs tarnishing the real picture."

Lucas's jaw tightened, but Ten barreled on. "You honestly looked through all those conspiracy theory magazines when everyone said they were a joke, and you actually found a solid lead. Without you, we would know nothing. You accepted Jae and believed him when everyone—when I was dismissive. You see people, Lucas, you see them without judgement or bias, and that's your power, too. That's a power the team can't do without."

"I can't come with you," Lucas said, looking almost sorry as he said it. "I can't trust Taemin to be honest about what he did. I can't afford to accidentally be a part of something harmful, do something bad without knowing it—again."

"You know what's bad and what's good, you don't need Taemin to tell you that," Ten said. "And yeah, there are gray areas sometimes, but they'll be a part of your life no matter what."

Lucas stayed stonily silent.

Ten sighed, pressing his fist against his pursed mouth. "Okay," he said slowly. "You don't know if you'll be doing something good with the team, right? How do you know this is right, then? What if you stay at home and that one choice costs an innocent person their life?"

"Ten—"

"I know we don't always get along well, but that doesn't stop me from seeing how valuable you are," Ten said. "As a teammate and as a person, too. We need you, Lucas. The kids Irene is keeping holed up who-knows-where need you. The city needs you, and maybe the world, too."

Louis had begun to make keening noises in his lap, but Ten barely noticed. He felt on edge, as if he hadn't been the one to make the huge speech and was the person awaiting a decision instead. Everything he had said had made him sound confident, but in reality, he wasn't sure. He almost didn't want Lucas to speak, for the moment to pause indefinitely so he wouldn't have to hear an answer he so desperately needed.

Lucas's face was ashen, hands still in his lap, and he was staring at them as if they could reveal the answer to him. He had an amazing poker face, and though he was being more open now, the poker face was still in full effect, and Ten had absolutely no idea what he was going to say. Despite the moving pep talk he'd given, Lucas was hard to predict, if not impossible.

Ten's hands curled anxiously around the cat's body, sinking into his fur.

"Okay," Lucas said, and Ten's thought hit a wall. "Okay. I'll help."

|

friendly reminder that it's really easy to vote! you don't have to if you don't want to, but a lot of people tend to forget about the lil star button altogether. even if you're reading offline, you can press the vote button, and it will be updated when you go online. it's really easy and it helps promote our hard work and makes us really happy <3 same with sharing/reading-list-adding-thing. if you're maintaining a theme i won't ask you to ruin it for my sake lmao but if you can, please do so. it means a lot.

love, 
Manx.