There was a hint of rain in the morning air; the kind of warm smell of the summer entangled with the fragrance of the wet earth tickled her nose. Unconsciously, that smell recalled her of the grass, just outside the basketball court of her secondary school, basking in the sun. She had stood there many times, cheering either both or one of her best friends as they played. One memory of such a day was still vividly etched in her mind.
It was just a week later from her parents' divorce, of a time when they were still living opposite to her father's, in her Dida's house. Lakshya was down with a violent flu leaving her the only one to watch Sanskar's practice. It was a nail biting game, between the junior team and their immediate seniors. Although Sanskar was aged enough to be a junior team member he played for the senior team, for two years now.
Too engrossed in the game she had not noticed trouble until it yelled for her.
Bose..! Hey Bose..!' It was one from the spectators; a senior boy from the gang Lucky and Sanskar always meddled with. Swara watched him coldly as he approached.
What? You've forgotten that is your new name huh? I see that even your father can't stand you, isn't that's why he had...'
What exactly was the logic to this theory Swara never found out. She was immensely hurt with the words shot at her, he however was not the first to point out that she was no longer half but a complete Bengali girl.
The ball they had been playing with was flaying towards them. It caught the boy right in his ear, before bouncing off the grass patch where they stood. The boy yelled clutching the side of his face, his features crinkled in to an extremely pained expression.
Shaking his carelessly handsome hair to get rid of the droplets of sweat that hang from them, Sanskar was jogging towards them. Quite casually he picked up the ball, threw an easy smile towards Swara and walked past them. After two or three steps he doubled back, watching the senior in agony, his gaze ice cold.
Whether she's Bose or Gadodia, she's my Shona,' he said quietly in a meaningful tone. And mate all those scenarios where my things get hurt don't end well.'
With a haughty smile at his pained expression and a piercing glance he was gone, back to join his group.
Sighing away the memory and clearly thinking what had recalled that, Swara pounced back to her reality. A beam of light casually thrown her way by a car's side mirror dazzled her view for a moment. Then her eyes found what had brought back those memories concerning her parents' divorce and those difficult times.
Sitting across her, in the sunlit and quite cheerful restaurant, was Ragini, her beautiful half sister. The time that had run past their teens had turned her in to an epitome of loveliness, almost an ethereal goddess. Although Swara hardly saw her father or her grandparents, she had often communicated with Ragini. Their sisterly bond was still there, although recently it had suffered some wounds.
It was once again Lakshya who had messed up his game. In that aspect he had not changed much from his childhood. Swara had no idea that his mother had already selected Ragini for him when the idiot had proposed her. It caused quite uproar in the Maheshwari household. But Lakshya had been inflexible, rooted in his decision and of cause, he had his father's blessings and unfortunately Swara had already accepted. She was shocked to learn this back story later and immediately wanted to reconcile with her sister.
But Ragini, being the understanding innocent soul she was laughed away her quarry. She was glad that their relationship did not work out, as she had said, He would never have loved her.' She urged Swara in to moving forward, forgetting that Ragini was ever a character in their love story.
Swara had explained her that there was no love story yet. But she was positive that there will be.
Suddenly in the utmost abrupt way Ragini stood up from their conversation.
I'm so sorry,' she said picking up her mobile and checking at once more. But I have an interview today, for a musical program.' She said in explanation to her hastiness and prepared herself to leave. Swara stood up with an understanding smile.
So you'd come?' She asked. For the engagement..?'
Ummm, I don't know Swara, I think you should talk with Dadi and Baba.' She noticed the gloom look Swara gave her. Oh come on, they'll love to see you engaged. Let go of the old damages and talk to them once.'
She smiled sweetly at her before waving good bye. Happy, that she had almost convinced her sister to come back home, Ragini set off. As she left Swara's view that ethereal goddess expression dropped from her face, her lips pursed together and she sighed silently to herself wearily. Had her sister known how sharp edged broken dreams were? But she did not; all her dreams were fulfilled even before she dreamed them. There was no way Ragini could share her pain with Swara, she had a better choice; someone who had gone through more blistering pain.
*
The sight of the granite bathroom swirled in front of his eyes as another spell of nausea hit him. He held the edge of the basin in front of him and let the water running. The cold water against his skin almost burned him with their droplets. But the rumbling of his gut that threatened to spill out almost everything from his hasty breakfast to a recent coffee subsided. He splashed some more water in to his face and rubbing his eyes looked at the spotless mirror.
There were faint circles under his eyes, signs of his sleepless nights and his face was paler than usual. Hissing to himself Sanskar wiped his face and dialed a number.
He was fed up with his doctor's counseling that his sleeping pills were doing this to him. He had no interest in his therapy or his advice on moving forwards. He just needed something that would help him sleep. He pinched his nose still in thought. There was no pill in this world that would ease his pain, only their agony would do that.
He wanted to forward with his plans, only his completed revenge would help him sleep. He heard the door to his office open and close. His PA telling someone to sit and wait for him... Slowly his lips curled in to a faint smirk, not the honest kind from the old Sanskar folder, but a chilling one from his latest avatar.
Dropping his weariness and weak resolve along with the towel in his hand, he opened the bathroom door and stepped in to his office. The one his family did not yet know existed.
I did it,' Ragini told him, as he walked to his high chair behind the glass topped lavish table. She had an empty face, but he read her well. Without sitting down and leveling his face with Ragini who sat in the opposite chair he circled his chair with a casual hand waiting for her to explain more.
She agreed to come home once.' He said nothing yet. Ragini looked up at him curiously; his frame hovering over her seemed to shrink her confidence. Why though? Why do you want her there?'
Because, you and I both know how well that conversation will go, don't you?' He said shortly, in a voice that matched her expression.
*
Swara usually never cried. She was not a girl who would sob hysterically over some silly trouble. Her tears were more precious; they came one by one and hung for a long while on her eyelashes before finally falling down. The temple on the river bank was noisy enough to engulf her sniffs and the river below carried away her tears to a far away sea. She sat on the bridge where she had many childhood memories and let the tears repenting her own stupidity fall.
What a fool she had been to think that her Baba would change with time, that now he would have a say against his mother. How could she even imagine her Dadi would forget the differences between them, that she would see her engagement above Ragini's broken relationship?
She should not have gone there, not even in her dreams.
Lakshya who sat beside her, his feet dangling from the bridge pattered her back awkwardly. She acknowledged his concern for her, but he was never apt in consoling her. It was Sanskar who knew exactly how to cheer her up. Even after a five year pause, she was still missing him. He would have understood what she was going through, how that poisonous memory was eating her away.
Forget them,' Laksh said finally. You have another family who loves you immensely. Soon you'll be a part of that family for real; there is no need to miss them again.'
He is my Baba,' said Swara stiffly. You can't give up family like that!'
She bit her lip as more tears came.
Even when they give you up,' she muttered. Laksh hugged her trying to contain her sobs. His fingers entangled in her hair. His face rigid as he thought of something that would cheer her up and his other hand rubbed her back.
*
They made quite a weird picture. Swara and Lucky in each other's arms as if a swirling wind was trying to control a fire. Funny to a painful edge. Her persona dimmed him utterly and his aura was not enough to dull her pain.
There you go Shona,' Whispered Sanskar as he watched the couple from a close vantage point. Give him a chance to console you; start to depend on him so that he would fall for you completely.'
There was actually no need for that. He could already see how engrossed his brother was in her. But this was not the scene he had in mind, he wanted Swara an equal participant in the love story. If not it will not work out well for his plans.
I want you bond with Lakshya to be as strong as it is with Durga Prasad, so that when they are broken both sides shatter... For that I want you to cry, cry more.'
*
With a jerk Swara looked up suddenly, her eyes travelling around the landscape.
What?' Lakshya said in a quizzical tone.
I just felt...' She rubbed her tears off and stood up, leaving her sentence incomplete. Watching them walk towards the temple in his review mirror Sanskar drove away silently. She could not have sensed his presence could she?