WaltTwitman

The year started out weird, but things really took a turn for the bizarre when we discovered the Buzzfeed quizzes were coming true.*****Leela Pendurthi is dog-paddling toward adulthood. Armed with a useless BS in astrophysics and a pretty decent data plan, the recent college graduate's life might be in shambles, but at least she has plenty of time to browse dank memes. Her half-assed attempts to slay the chaos dragon (and catch the attention of a local, possibly-autistic podiatrist) have been going relatively smoothly (relatively is a key word, here), until her best friend Abby points out that every Buzzfeed quiz they've taken seems to actually do what its claim to do. Guess their names? Check. Tell them their favorite 1D songs? Yup. When it becomes apparent that they have a chance to glimpse into their futures, one asinine quiz at a time, Leela and Abby embark on a quest to do the impossible: find date-able boys in their Appalachian hometown. While Leela has her cap set on 'emotional stability' and a '401k' and 'dental', Buzzfeed appears to have an entirely different type of guy lined up for her next boyfriend, AND a one-month deadline to meet her soulmate.But Buzzfeed won't be able to answer Leela's most pressing question: can she date and get dumped by a stoner in time to meet her soulmate in 3 weeks?There's no way her soulmate is going to be a pothead, right?Right?*kinda for grown-ups. there's curse words and weed*…

WaltTwitman

Valerie: Female given name derived from the Latin, valēre, to be strong. ***Valerie's not afraid of anything. Her best friend Stevie worries about everything. A flipped Jeep the Saturday before senior year might just change all that.When Valerie flips her cool Jeep Wrangler, her parents insist she drive the household's semi-retired 1996 Dodge Ram Conversion as punishment. But what is and isn't punishment is a matter of perspective. To golden girl Valerie, the van is no big deal. To self-conscious Stevie, it's social suicide. After all, high school is already hard enough for a Riverdance-fan-girl who can't even make eye contact with her biggest crush, blond band-geek Jesse. Determined to prove that the world isn't as awful as Stevie assumes it is, Valerie designs a pact. Each girl must perform five 'feats of courage' that range from the absurd to the daring to the legally-murky. This quirky game of dares may bring Stevie some confidence, but it also brings to light some big secrets, including one Valerie would rather have kept hidden. Senior year's going to be a bumpy ride. Valerie and Stevie will need a little more than a few feats of courage, a blond drummer boy, and a traveling Irish stage show.…

WaltTwitman

I'll spare you the BS. I don't know how AevumSaeclu works. I just program it.///Trying something new. SciFi. I will update when I get the inspiration to write.…

WaltTwitman

All Ed needed to become the Internet's latest boyfriend was a chili-pepper costume. But getting sunny foreign-exchange student Audra to prom will take a lot more than that.Ed doesn't know he's beautiful. But he is. Even when his crazy boss forces him to wear an "extra-spicy" chili pepper costume as part of a May 5th promotion. It was only meant to be an after-school job at a low-key Mexican restaurant; Ed never signed up for abject humiliation. And when a lovestruck girl snaps a covert picture of Ed while he serves her an enchilada, he couldn't possibly have anticipated becoming the internet's latest imaginary boyfriend. The fame is immediate and disorienting, but if it helps Ed convince quirky foreign exchange student Audra to attend prom with him, being "Enchilada Ed" might not be so bad.(Formerly Ignorance, Bliss, and Mexican Food)…

WaltTwitman

A fourteen year old Orpheus serenades his Eurydice in a gallant attempt to save her from middle school hell: health class. Funny retelling of the ancient myth. I wrote this for a creative writing class at uni, and thought it might be a good complement to my full length story about a terrorist boybander.…