"So how do you like it? I haven't cooked in like three years, please I take criticism," lance blushed as he put a bowl of the stew in front of Ryan as it was middle of the night, they were the only ones up.

"Don't ever tell my mom, but I think you topped her in beef stew," Ryan smiled brightly as he ate with pure joy. It was amazing, maybe just a great difference from a steady diet and packaged foods but it tasted like heaven to him.

"I didn't see you grab a book or anything?" Ryan looked at him with a spoon in his mouth.

"Uh aha I guess I remembered it pretty well, I always helped my mama and Abuela in the kitchen with dinner," lance smiled softly as he grabbed the bread out of the oven that Ryan made quickly out of the French bread they found, some herbs and melted butter that was toasted.

"I never am going to take advantage of bread again, we should make garlic knots next time," lance turned to him as he handed Ryan half of bread that was still warm.

"I've never learned how to make those," Ryan dipped the bread in the stew and took a bite. He looked like he was going to pass out at the combination.

"Lance you have to try this," Ryan dipped the opposite side and held it up for lance to try. The Cuban leaned over and Ryan fed it to him, making both of their hearts skip a beat when they accidentally made eye contact. Lance backed off with a bright red face and nodded frantically.

"We make a good team it seems with cooking," lance covered his mouth while he chewed.

"It looks like it," Ryan coughed awkwardly looking down as he couldn't breathe. Why was it things like this that made him feel foolish, why does something like a crush make him feel like a completely different person? Is that how crushes are? Is this normal? If only lance...

"Hey so... I was thinking about telling my sister... that I'm bi," lance said softly turning away. Ryan looked at him wide eyes, there was no way lance feels the same, why would he be interested in a quiet cadet like him? Lance is to out of his league, he's a Paladin of voltron, he could have anyone he wanted.

No he was getting ahead of himself.

"Really? Are you sure that you..." Ryan trailed off nervously.

"No I'm sure, it makes the most sense, I am glad that there's a name for what I feel instead of thinking it was crazy," he smiled a little to himself.

"I like girls, I do a lot, but I like boys, I would date both,  fuck... I have kissed both and I like it," lance blushed at the stupid confession.

"I'm not.. ready to tell everyone, if anything your the first person I've actually admitted it too," he chuckled looking at Ryan gently.

"I'm honored your able to share with me," Ryan smiled.

"You shared your coming out to me, and it really helped actually, thank you Ryan," the blue eye boy smiled with his whole body, his shoulders picked up as his eyes crinkled when he smiled, a small laugh through the nose. It made the olive eyed boys heart fluttered again.

"I would do anything to help you, no need to thank me," he breathed looking down again.

"I do wanna ask you about someone though, I know a lot of people died when the galra first attacked," lance looked at his feet as well.

"Who?" Ryan raised a brow.

"Nick haiz, he was a cargo pilot," he gulped.

"I'm sorry, he did die in the same battle as Adam Wyatt," Ryan remembered the name, he was good with names, especially for their fallen pilots. What if no one else remembered them.

"Gotcha, I kind of figured but wanted to make sure," lance inhaled a shaky breath.

"Were you close?" Ryan noticed the tint of sadness in lances eyes.

"He was my first kiss,"

That made Ryan's heart sink. Obviously the boy had no intentions but it did put a funny taste in his mouth that lance asked about him. But he understood why.

"So that's the secret boyfriend you had?" Ryan teased.

"Yea, a stupid dare, I never fell in love with him, dated for a little then broke up, he was nice to hang out with though, made me laugh, got us in trouble, I hope he knew he was a great cadet," lance leaned against the counter at the thought of first boy he's ever kissed, ever had true feelings for... was now dead.

"Everyone thought he was homophobic and he had no idea till they saw us kiss, apparently when you hold hands and kiss a boy people found out it was a joke," he chuckled softly.

He looked over seeing Ryan was a little uncomfortable.

"Who was your first kiss?" He changed the subject so he didn't grieve.

Ryan looked surprised but pursed his lips.

"Was it really cringe?" He teased.

"Haha... I'll let you know when I find out," Ryan blushed putting his head down.

"You never kissed anyone?" Lance gasped in shock.

"No.."

"How?! Your literally so gorgeous, and sweet, and funny! Who wouldn't want to kiss you?" Lance ran over slamming his palms on the counter.

"I never really wanted to date anyone," Ryan played with the tips of his hair embarrassed now.

"Alright, respect, it's not exactly like it's a big deal, some people don't have a desire and that's totally fine," lance tilted his head to the side empathetically.

"I do desire it, it's just hard to let someone in like that," Ryan scoffed a little but paused.

"Would you desire to kiss me?" Lance asked in a low tone looking at him with a quirked brow.

"What? La-lance we're friends I-I-" Ryan covered his mouth so he didn't say something stupid like 'yes'.

"Then James? Or Keith? Oh definitely hunk," lance giggled a little. That giggle made it harder to not admit it all. He just wanted to tell him.. just a simple sentence.

"I never said no..." he covered his mouth as he mumbled. Lance bit his lip a little blushing.

"You wanna kiss me pretty boy?" Lance hummed.

This couldn't be real. This had to be a dream.

"Wouldn't that be weird? Or-or ruin our friendship?" Ryan gulped as lance came around the counter.

"I've kissed hunk before, friendship not ruined, it was platonic," lance shrugged a little.

"But if your uncomfortable, I won't, I understand, I'd never make you do something you don't want to do," he stood in front of Ryan.

Play it off play it off play it off- "might as well do it now or I'm going to be able to legally drink and still never kiss anyone," Ryan smiled nervously as he stood up. He was tall enough to tilt his head down slightly to look at lance this close, only two inches but still.

"That's fair, just relax, don't look like your being held at gun point, i can stop any moment you need me too," lance chuckled a little seeing how nervous he seemed.

"Relax, it's just me," he snorted grabbing his hands to get him to calm down.

"Y-yea I know," Ryan laughed but could feel lances warmth so close to him.

"Close your eyes, relax, you'll be okay," lance giggled again. Damn his laugh.

Lance leaned close as they almost brushed lips.

But ryan gently pulled him back as he held lances chin and took a small step back.

"I can't," ryan whispered looking at him disappointed.

"Oh-oh, I'm sorry," Lances eyes widen in horror, did he just ruin everything?

"No it's not... I just don't want to take advantage lance," Ryan couldn't take his eyes off him as his dark hand caressed lances jaw while his thumb brushed under his lip.

"It's not taking advantage," Lance gulped.

"I just didn't want this to be our first kiss, not like this," Ryan whispered.

"Our first kiss?" Lance breathed wide eyes.

Ryan touched his lips with the tip of his thumb but pulled his hand away.

"I have to go," he sighed backing away as there was tears burning a little. Embarrassment, shame, regret.

"Ryan, wait," Lance gulped but the pilot was already running out the door.

"R-Ryan don't leave... please," his jaw trembled as he was once again left alone.

——

Lance cleaned up the kitchen and stored the meal away in the fridge for tomorrow or someone else at least. He couldn't stop thinking about Ryan. He just...

He should've just fucking backed off. No wonder everyone gets sick of his shit, he doesn't know when to stop.

"Fuck man..." lance covered his eyes and dragged his hands down his face as he left the kitchen with a long groan.

He was so tired. He just wanted to go to bed, he was exhausted and full of shame. Not a good combination.

Lance made it to his room but stood outside the door for a moment. He didn't want to go in, he was just so tired of it all. He closed his eyes pressing his forehead against the door.

He felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Wha-" lance was cut off as two hands grabbed his face and firm lips pressed against his.

Lance gasped immediately knowing the smell of who snuck up on him.

Lance kissed back as Ryan held his face gently as the kiss lingered, finally moving their lips as lance wrapped his fingers around Ryan's wrists.

"I imagined it something more like that," Ryan whispered against his lips as lance panted from his breath being stolen.

"Do it again," lance smiled grabbing the front of his shirt to pull the pilot forward.