I hate that word.
Innocence.
People say
"You're so innocent."
Did they ever wonder
The way I feel?
Thrust from my shining childhood
Where you can be anything,
Though you don't know anything
But you're happy
And that's all that really matters.
Into insecurity and curse words
And the kinds of things that happen in high school parties.
I'm terrified of starting high school in a year!
Yet no one thinks to tell me anything.
"You're too innocent!"
And then when I bring it up
Accidentally
They reveal all the dirty secrets
That have been locked in the closet my whole life-
Did they think I'd never look?
Even though I don't want to, I have to see,
I have to face reality,
Even though I'm too young.
Am I too young?
Or should I know all this already,
But everyone thought that I was too innocent to be told.
"Don't ruin that innocence."
One part of me wants to,
To take that clean white paper
And scrawl all over it.
To stomp dirt on it,
To take a black Sharpie and scribble over
That word "Innocence,"
Until my soul is black.