It's the dead of night and the streets seem deserted. But someone is stealthily making their way towards the laundry.

A miniature grappling hook is fired up to a window ledge.

A tiny figure, no more than eighteen inches high, shimmies up to Willy's window ledge, silhouetted in the moonlight.

He slips through the bars, scans the room, then creeps over to a jar of chocolates, still keeping to the shadows.

He steps on a floorboard which activates a switch. Suddenly the floorboard twangs upward and the tiny figure is flung across the room and into a funnel which deposits him in a jar, which closes as he lands, trapping him.

"Gotcha!" Willy exclaimed in delight and jumps out of bed.

"What the devil? Let me out of here! I demand to be released!" The tiny man said inside the jar.

"Incredible! It can speak!" Willy said, amazed.

"Well of course I can speak. Now let me out of here or I shall shriek. Let me out!" The tiny man demanded.

"Not until I take a good look at you." Willy said, lifting the jar onto his desk.

He switches on the light, revealing a small man with bright orange skin, green hair, and white eyebrows. He is known as an Oompa Loompa.

"Wow." Willy whispered, sitting down at the desk.

"Good evening." The Oompa Loompa said, straightening his coat.

"So you're the funny little man who's been following me." Willy said, intrigued and the Oompa Loompa puffs out his chest indignantly.

"Funny little man?! How dare you! I'll have you know I'm a perfectly respectable size for an Oompa Loompa."

"An Oompa what now?" Willy asked, perplexed.

"In fact in Loompaland, I'm regarded as something of a whopper. They call me Lofty. So I'll thank you not to keep gawping at me as though I was something unpleasant you'd found in your handkerchief. I find it uncomfortable and frankly rude." The Oompa Loompa said.

"Sorry." Willy said.

"Now let me out of here. You have no right to go around embottling innocent strangers." The Oompa Loompa told him.

"Innocent? Hold on. You've been stealing from me for years!" Willy pointed out.

"Well you started it!" The Oompa Loompa accused.

"Me?" Willy asked, confused.

"You stole our cocoa beans!" The Oompa Loompa exclaimed.

"What are you talking about?" Willy asked.

"Do you mean that you don't even remember?!" The Oompa Loompa asked, insulted.

"Remember what?!" Willy asked, at a complete loss.

"The day you..." The Oompa Loompa begins, stopping to sniff. "destroyed my life." He said and fakes a sob.

"No, I don't remember that." Willy said.

"Well then, young man, allow me to refresh your memory, in the form of a song so ruinously catchy that it may never leave your mind." The Oompa Loompa said, taking out a whistle and blows into it in an ominous but catchy tune.

"Oh, I don't think I wanna hear that." Willy muttered.

"Too late. I started dancing now. Once we've started we can't stop, you see." The Oompa Loompa said as he starts doing a strange, hypnotic dance.

Oompa Loompa: "Oompa Loompa doompety-doo
I've got a tragic tale for you
Oompa Loompa doompety-dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me
Dear Loompaland is both luscious and green
But not conducive to growing the bean!
My job was guarding what little we'd got You came along and pinched the lot!"

"Why didn't you say anything?" Willy asked.

"Well perhaps I drifted off." The Oompa Loompa replied, sounding embarrassed.

Oompa Loompa: "Oompa Loompa doompety-day
When I awoke, they sent me away I'm disgraced, cast out in the cold Till I've paid my friends back a thousand fold!"

'A thousand fold?! You kidding me?" Willy said, dumbstruck.

"I repeat! A thousand fold!!" The Oompa Loompa sings, finishing his song.

"Wow uh... Mr. Loompa, if you really think this is a reasonable penalty for taking three beans." Willy said, holding up three fingers.

"Four!" The Oompa Loompa corrected him.

"Four beans then I'm sure we can come to an understanding, but I can't give you my entire supply. I've got people counting on me." Willy told him.

"Hm. Very well. I tell you what. You let me out and we can discuss it like gentlemen." The Oompa Loompa said.

"Alright." Willy said and he releases the Oompa Loompa.

"Thank you. Now would you be so kind as to hand me that miniature frying pan?" The Oompa Loompa asked, pointing across the room.

Willy goes over to the two pans hanging on the wall and points at the smaller one.

"This one?"

"No no, the heavy one." The Oompa Loompa said.

"Alright." Willy said, picking up the bigger pan and hands it to the Oompa Loompa.

"Thank you, thank you." The Oompa Loompa said, taking the pan and weighing it in his hand.

"Ooh that's quite a beast, isn't it? Now come a little closer." The Oompa Loompa instructed and Willy leans down a little.

"Closer now. Cosy on up." The Oompa Loompa said and when Willy leans down even more... the the Oompa Loompa whacks him in the head with the pan.

Willy yells out in pain and the Oompa Loompa leaps off the desk, grabs the jar of chocolate and hits Willy's foot with the pan.

As Willy hops up and down on one foot while holding his injured foot, the Oompa Loompa makes a run for the window.

"Oompa Loompas do not negotiate! Good day, sir." The Oompa Loompa said, hoping up onto the window ledge.

"But that's my last jar!" Willy cried out.

"I said good day!" The Oompa Loompa said and with that, he's gone.