A deep breath in; A sharp, deep breath in. The mirror was fogged from the shower's steam. Water beaded up on the walls slowly dripped down pure black tile. Through the saturated haze, ruby was the only shade that held any color anymore. Kuza's hands had somehow never been more steady than when he pushed a sharp edge into his arm. He closed his eyes as he embraced the burning.

Blood rushed down his arm, creating several paths around his wrist. He watched the result of his addiction. The look on his face wasn't one you could describe as pride, but it certainly wasn't one of disgust. An unsteady mind did not rest on his shoulders. Kuza knew damn well what he was doing. He was searching for feeling.

A deep breath in; A sharp, deep breath in. Silver dragged through his second arm, slicing the vein deeply. A tremor had found it's way to his fingertips. The blade fell from his hand and bounced on the tile. Watching the blood drip down his inked flesh was almost as chronic as the initial cut. Slowly, he raised his arms in front of himself. He curled his fingers in until his hands became tight fists. Digging his nails into his palms caused the blood to flow more. The wind in his throat stumbled, causing him to gasp. He cut himself off in efforts to not let anyone else hear.

His heart nearly jumped out of his chest when a knock came at the bathroom door. Kuza was dramatically pulled back to realize. The physical suffering was habitual and cast his thoughts into another world. He lost himself in the blade. It's cold metal hadn't met his skin in months, but he had no plans on leaving behind the addiction.

"Yeah?" He called back to the door.

"Are you okay?" Chris asked. It wasn't the voice of a man that desperately wanted to know. That tension hadn't gone away yet, but it sounded like he did care.

Kuza swallowed a lump in his throat as his eyes remained on his cuts. Numbly, he responded, "What'd you care?"

"That's not an answer." He said.

Quick as a whip, he replied, "Neither is that."

Chris slowly sighed and softened his voice, "I know we got off on the wrong foot. The others put me in my place this morning. You don't want to leave Devin, and I don't want to leave any of them, if you get what I mean. We might be each other's only hope, so, yeah, I decided it's in my best interest to care. Sorry, that sounded selfish."

"Selfish?" Kuza scoffed and rested his hands on either side of the small sink, "You're willing to merge with someone you don't know and you don't love just so you don't have to leave your family. That's not selfish. And to answer your question, I'm fine. I was just about to get in the shower."

Without any warning, the door opened. Kuza didn't flinch. It was hard to make him jump for nearly anything. He wasn't ashamed of what he had done to himself. However, he wasn't fond of hearing the empty speeches. He wasn't shocked that Chris barged in despite him claiming he was fine. The door didn't have a lock and he'd already established he didn't respect Kuza's privacy.

Chris' throat became thick. He watched Kuza's dark red blood flow down his arms and along the curve of the porcelain. "Why did you-"

"To feel." He simply stated.

"This isn't the first time you've done this to yourself. No one cuts that deep their first time." Chris responded.

Kuza glared over his shoulder at him, "And how would you know?"

"I-" He cut himself off, deciding they definitely hadn't known each other long enough for those stories. Chris cleared his throat, "I just assumed. Does Ghost know about this?"

"Yeah. She does what she had to to feel too. I don't do this a lot, but after last night, I wanted the rush to balance out how upset I got." He lifted his head to look in the mirror. His crimson eyes stared him back, riddled with sin. "I'm numb."

"I know you've been through a lot," He set his hand on his shoulder, turning him to face him, "But there has to be a better way to feel than this."

He looked into Chris' face without emotion, "Where she and I come from, trust was the only way to survive. The walls of our home still stand, but without each other, without them, I have no reason to hold on. I wouldn't expect you to understand that, Chris."

Kuza shrugged off his hand and turned his back to him. He put his hand under the shower's water, feeling the scolding temperature. After weeks of freezing weather, he couldn't get water that was hot enough. His shirt was already absent. He began to unbuckle his belt, expecting Chris would be polite enough to show himself out.

His lower lip suddenly quavered as he felt a hand wrap around his throat. Another secured across his waist. Chris softly kissed the crook of his neck, whispering, "You don't know what I've been through. More importantly, you don't know what I could make you feel." His grip disappeared as fast as it had captured him. Kuza raised his hand to his neck. The choke hold didn't phase him as much as the haunting feeling of Chris' lips. He turned around to confront him, finding he was already gone.

| | |

Vinny was kicked back on his bed, flipping through a comic book he'd read twenty times over. There were few things to entertain him here. Someone like Ricky could fill his time up drawing, playing guitar, or fucking Ryan. As for someone like Vinny, though, he got bored easily. Which truly made one wonder why his room was always so messy. He had nothing better to do than clean. Somehow, his lazy ass found the motivation to pick up the place.

In the silence, his head turned on a dime the second he heard Ghost groan. The poor thing must've slept twenty four hours straight. She stretched her arms out over her head, then rolled over onto her hip. Her silver eyes took a moment to realize she was in a very unfamiliar environment, being stared at by a boy she'd never met.

"Um," She took a look around slowly, "Where am I?"

Vinny raised an eyebrow, a little confused by her not knowing. Then he mentally slapped himself, "Ohh, Ricky said you passed out as soon as you got here. You probably don't remember being brought up here or anything. I'll be right back. Don't move."

"And why should I listen to you?" She asked.

He paused "Uh... Good point, but I mean, what other choice do you have?"

"Good point." She mocked him with a smirk. Any other guy would probably get frustrated with that but Vinny loved it. He adored a girl that could give him shit. Vinny rushed downstairs to find the others.

Ricky was sat on the floor in front of the fire place. His legs were crossed Indian style and his guitar rested in his lap. Ryan kissed him on the cheek as he sat down next to him. He leaned his back against the couch behind him and took a sip from his drink.

"You feeling better now?" He asked their new guest.

Kuza had been in the process of scarfing down the soup Josh made for dinner. He couldn't even begin to think when the last time was that he had food that good. Setting his bowl down on the table in front of him, he made rather awkward eye contact with Chris. "Uh... Yeah, thanks."

Luckily for him, Vinny chose that moment to come running down the stairs. It was a good distraction from the unforgiving apprehension. He stumbled a bit and caught himself on the back of one of the leather couches. "Devin's awake." He said.

"Finally." Kuza replied, "I was starting to get worried. Did she freak out or anything?"

"She was a little confused but other than that she didn't, like, panic." Vinny explained.

"I'll be right back." He told the others, then headed upstairs.

Ghost beamed a smile the second she saw him. A familiar face made waking up to a strange place and even stranger people seem not as scary. "There you are. I was starting to get worried." She said.

"I'm alright, more or less. We've got beds now, and warmth, showers, food. And, if you didn't notice, that guy that was in here a few minutes ago is compatible with you. From what I've gathered, he's a bit of an... he's not the smartest in the world, but he's really sweet."

"And he seemed funny, but then again I only talked to him for two seconds." Ghost responded, "So, now we just need to find you someone."

"About that... I did, but he's a piece of fucking work. I'm definitely taking one for the team on this one." He groaned.

She stood up, fearlessly burning her eyes into his, "Be optimistic. If he was nice enough to let us into his home, he can't be that bad."

"He didn't want to let us in. The others made him. We'll talk about it later some more, but for now, I want to get some food in you. They just made dinner about twenty minutes ago. It should still be warm."

"Lead the way." She told him. Kuza offered her his hand and guided her through the narrow hallway, down the steep stairs. Her long dress trailed each step. She didn't bother with introductions at first and went straight for the food.

Vinny swooned, "Damn, I love a woman who's not afraid of her food."

Ricky blankly looked at him, "You're somethin' else, Vin."

"You could say that again." Ryan muttered. He draped his arm over Ricky's shoulder as he relaxed more. Happily, the smaller rested his head in the crook of his neck.