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"How is she doing?" I asked as I traced my fingers over the glass that stood between me and Eomoni sleeping peacefully. Namjoon hyung looked at me and sighed, shaking his head in negation and my heart twitched on understanding him. Namjoon is the most optimistic person I knew and if that was coming from him, I knew counting chances would be a dire waste of time.

But I won't give up

"I don't want to break your hopes. We are trying, we have been trying but not every time, the patient's life is in our hands. But then, I assure you, we will try our best to save her until the last minute," Namjoon hyung promised me and I smiled, a lone tear escaping my eyes.

The hospital walls bathed in white and the strong medicine smell in the air reminded me of many things, many memories with her. The whimpers of the hopeless, the dolor of the helpless and the prays of the powerless, weren't my things. They were all too hard for me to contain that I constantly avoid attending the hospital for any wound ever since haelmoni died holding my hand.

And then, she happened

I didn't have the heart to let her go alone, mewling in despair as she held her mother's hands and caressed them every day. Eomoni was the light of her life and ever since she was diagnosed with cancer, shadows consumed the girl's hopes. It broke my heart to see her grieving every day and I couldn't hold back from fighting my fears.

I started accompanying her to visit her sweet mother who talked to me lovingly, her eyes twinkling with the hope that her daughter wasn't alone. It was troublesome for a few weeks and I vomited a few times after walking outside the hospital building, but as days went by, it got a lot easier.

Eomoni was dear to me

"Also, Jimin told me to conduct a health checkup on you. First, you don't eat anything and next, you are all ready to get knocked down by Yoongi. This was the first time I heard of an artist hitting his CEO," Namjoon hyung checked my bruise and I sighed, removing his hand over my face.

"I deserve that. He lost a person because of me. He is very protective of Hana since the beginning and I broke her. What do I expect from him? A pat on my back?" I snarled at him, my gaze detaching away from the unconscious figure.

"What you are doing to yourself is stupid, Taehyung ah. I understand what you did to Hana is unacceptable and if beating you black and blue would change everything and get things back to normal, I would be the first one to do that. Painting yourself black to people who aren't Hana wouldn't help that desolate heart.

You are already being punished. Without her, you look lifeless. You turned pale and that spark in your face was long gone. You deserve this pain and not something that you bring upon yourself just to satisfy your guilt," Namjoon hyung stated and I stood still for a moment, processing his words.

I want to be seen as an asshole by others

To satisfy my guilt

But nothing eased my heart, it wasn't the punishment I wanted to torture myself

The path of thorns already began when she walked out of my life

"Cheating is worst and I don't want to pry over your life, wanting to know what turned you into a complete jerk in that trip. It's totally unacceptable but if you think you could do the extreme to mend your relationship and only if she allows you into her life again, I think you should put in the effort, everyone deserves a second chance. But most importantly, respect her space. She's the victim," Namjoon hyung advised and I sighed, nodding in acceptance.

If I go near her, I can't control myself

I would run to her and hug her, bawling my eyes out

I would go on my knees and beg her until she forgives me

But she wouldn't like it, she wouldn't want to see my face again

"It's better I stay away from her. She would get even more distressed near me. I want her to detest me. I shattered her, hyung. I shattered the delicate doll, whom I wished to cherish all my life. I shouldn't have gone on that business trip. I shouldn't have gotten drunk like skunk. It was all my fault," I spat, kicking my foot in the air as frustration swarmed my insides.

"Giving up or standing up is not my choice. I am leaving that to you. I am just concerned at how you have changed in her absence and I am positive Hana is suffering too. Nevertheless, I will not force you to make a decision. But I suggest you think deeply on this," he held my shoulder and I pressed my lips into a thin line.

Is it worth a try?

"And about Jin hyung-"

"There's nothing to talk about him. He is an old chapter that I wouldn't want to rewind back. If Hana is working under him, she is under good people," I commented before he would pull another painful memory of my life.

Nothing in this life brought me happiness

And even if I found it in traces and touches, it never lasted long

The one I wanted to hold onto, slipped away like loose sand

"I believe he would treat Hana well but if he knows that she was your ex-girlfriend and if Hana knows Jin hyung is your brother, things would get weirdly awkward. Also, it's highly suspicious that your brother employed her when he only searches for people qualified in deemed universities," Namjoon hyung stated and I chuckled.

"Hana's hand does wonder. I'd bet all my assets that no one could be parallel to her cooking. She has her own style of cooking and experiments with spices, trying to make something unique from the routine. I had invested in a chain of restaurants in Seoul to gift her but before I could surprise her, I ruined it all," I expressed my disappointment as I remembered my excitement over what her reaction would be.

I wanted to name it in her mother's name

She would dance on her feet

Though she would hesitate a lot, I had my tricks in store to help her achieve her dream

"I think that answers it all. He must have judged her by her skills. I think I have to go now. I have a patient check-up in the morning shift. Please take care and don't destroy your health. If you really feel pathetic, work on yourself. Try to earn her love before it's too late," he patted my shoulder and smiled.

"It's already too late, hyung. I don't deserve her love," I uttered as I felt a slight sting inside my heart, a flash of her melodious voice and giggle passed through my mind.

"Deserving or not, she should be a judge of that," Namjoon hyung mouthed before leaving the place as I stared at Eomoni through the glass. I felt my cheeks wet as I was lost on watching the beautiful mother suffering the most in her life and I was nothing but a menace to her daughter.

I don't deserve her

Please recover soon, Eomoni

No despair could beat your love for her

✦✧✦✧

"I already told you that girl would leave you someday. You shouldn't have invested in those hotel chains. Now what would you do?" my father groaned, throwing the hotel documents on the table as he rubbed his temples and I sighed.

He doesn't know the whole story

"I will take the responsibility. I can manage. I will hunt for the best chefs around the world and make sure to not get this project into loss," I assured him though the hesitation dawned upon his face was not comforting at all.

"I will give them to Seokjin," he muttered and I widened my eyes.

"Abeoji, you will not hand over them to Seokjin. He left us years ago. He never contacted us again. Why are you forgetting how much pain he has given us once he landed in Seoul," I argued, angered at how easy it was for him to let go of everything that Jin hyung left us with.

He left us with pain

"He is my son too, Taehyung. Half of my assets will eventually go to him or more because he is the older one. You can't run away from that fact. And no matter how he showed his back to us, he is still my son. I clenched my fists at his words.

I wouldn't mind at all if he gets all the assets and the company. But he doesn't deserve it. He never worked his ass off for nights to keep the company alive, he never thought about the welfare of the company, he never looked back at us for once and he never ever cared for the family.

He ran away when I needed him the most, he left me in agony, he left me alone. He pushed me into the pit of shambles and fuss while climbing upon me to a safe road. He backstabbed me and left me unloved.

I respected him and loved him so much and he left nothing for me. I worried for a year, worrying if he was kidnapped or if something has happened to him until Abeoji informed me of his carefree lifestyle and how he was enjoying his best without me, without us.

Abeoji is the only one left for me

And I will never go against his wishes

If Jin hyung wants the company, he can take it

I was never so desperate for the company, unlike for her presence

"He won't take it, Abeoji. But if you wish to offer him, I would like you to think twice. I am not mad or envious of him, but my concern is for the future of the company, the one which you helped it thrive. I can't afford to see the dream you accomplished turn into ashes," I admonished him and he sat silently, fixing his gaze on the papers that were once supposed to be my dear gift to my dear love.

"I will think about it. And don't go hard on yourself because of her. Not everyone stays in our life. We should let go of some things for our happiness and for theirs as well," he voiced out his concern and I nodded.

I will not go near her shadow

If she wouldn't want me

✦✧✦✧

"Naver wanted to talk to you about their magazine content for our upcoming boy group and that could really help us. Ms. Thena has penned down the script for the magazine already. She made five drafts and has already mailed them to you and you could select the best one," Mowgli, my assistant informed me as I checked the mail on my MacBook.

"That's a good deal. Arrange a call tomorrow at 4 PM sharp and mention that I have a meeting at 4:30 PM so it should be done in twenty minutes," I instructed and he took notes on his tablet, probably adding it to my schedule in the calendar.

"The coffee machine is not working in the company's cafe and I wanted it to be fixed by tomorrow. Also, I am going to have surprise scrutiny of the trainees this Sunday and a surprise check on the other branches on Saturday. Try to find the time that fits in my schedule," I ordered as I sipped water from my bottle.

"I need a review on the costumes for AgustD's next concert and need an update on the Travel Diaries project for the artists of Orpheusdeck. Cancel my appointments with the psychiatrist and the dietician told by my father. I'll take care of them by myself and you don't have to inform my father," I spoke and he nodded, biting his lip as he paced down typing on the screen, annoying me with the sound.

"Set up a meeting with PR Team and the Creative Management today evening, first separately and then together. Their statements don't match and I wonder if they are working on different paths. Also, contact Mnet and confirm Jimin's and AgustD's attendance and also convey that the company would be grateful and would look forward to participating more if they give a chance to present a small snippet of our upcoming boy group," I breathed out, tapping my fingers on the table, trying to remember what other tasks were due on my part.

"I need a meeting with the Analytics and Future Planning Team too, with all the project heads' presence without fail unless there is an unavoidable emergency. Schedule it for tomorrow at 2 PM. That's all on my side and can you lower down that stupid sound for once, Mowgli," I yelled, shaking my head as my assistance almost slipped the tablet off his trembling hands.

"I am so sorry, Sir. I will switch it off right away," he panicked and I looked at him in disbelief. This is the umpteenth time I tell him to do so but he ends up turning on or increasing that annoying typing sound again.

"Sir, Vogue Hongkong wanted to have Sansa on their cover page, modeling for Oscar De La Renta. The proposition mail came today and the concept doesn't look fitting for her as her management team says. Versace wanted to appoint the senior boy group as their global ambassadors and I have mailed their endorsement documents to you. Our new girl group's comeback's success was outrageous and is being acknowledged internationally," Mowgli listed and I smiled.

They are a bunch of talented people

"All your appointments with the group managers have been mailed to you and the other events and the projects were also mailed. I have already segregated them into separate Zip files so it would be easy for you but sir, I don't recall any meeting you have at 4:30 PM tomorrow. You were scheduled to meet Miss Ace at Honkuk University," Mowgli questioned and I pressed my lips.

"Postpone that meeting to the day after tomorrow. Send a letter to Vogue Hongkong informing us that we won't encourage a single member starring on the Cover Page but we are most welcome if it is with the whole group. And you can call our groups by their name, I only forgot their name once. Mousai achieved beyond expectations, they outdid themselves and I know how much hard they worked. All they asked was a meal in a nice restaurant. So, I will be going with them and their staff tomorrow. Find out their favorite restaurant and let me know. You are invited too unless you have plans," I uttered and his face brightened at my words.

"It would me be my pleasure, Sir. Also, I think I know what their favorite restaurant is. They couldn't stop gushing about this new restaurant, Mi Casa and Sir, trust me, I heard their food is super delicious. Also, I heard that their main chef is super handsome," Mowgli blabbered and I tensed over hearing the name.

"Why that one out of all of it?" I mumbled and Mowgli frowned, making me internally slap for the slip of tongue.

"I will look into another one, Sir," he uttered with a tone of sadness and I facepalmed.

"We will do whatever the girls like. Confirm it with them about the restaurant and even if it is Mi Casa, book for the whole staff. Further details, mail me and for any emergency, message me. You can leave now and don't let anyone come in for the next two hours," I ordered and he nodded, leaving in a moment.

Perhaps, I could steal a glance of her

Though I would not give her a chance to see me

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A/N: I am so sorry for the delay but here we go. Things got quite packed her so I am not staying active like usual. Also, I did a mistake in the last chapter. I gave the image as a flashback one and not Hana's pov and I changed it today. Hope you stay safe and healthy!