It's a lovely afternoon to read outside, so Sabrina and I took a few chairs next to dad's makeshift pond—which, let me tell you, it has no juice—and are now basking in the last rays of sun of the day. We've been mostly silent, which is quite rare even when we read. We usually have something to comment while we're at it.

It takes a while to break the silence, but it's Sabrina who does.

"So dedushka wants me to visit him during summer break."

She throws this bomb without a warning, like she was just picking up on a previous conversation. It shouldn't be such a shock; Sabrina has been here for the last nine months with only one weekly phone call to her grandfather, even though mom insisted many times that she should call as much as she wanted. Of course she misses him a lot. I put my book down and look at her. It's like knowing we're down to business, because she closes her book too, leaving it on the grass next to her chair. This is obviously big news for her, so I give her my most pleased smile.

"Sounds awesome!"

But for some reason, she looks down.

"I never knew this would be so hard, you know?"

"Eh? Is it?"

"Yes." She rubs her open palms together and then steals a glance at me, but she quickly looks back at her feet. "I mean... I miss home, of course. But when I think about going back home, I already feel homesick for Sunset Ridge. This place already feels like home, and it's hard to be in this situation because no matter where I am, I feel a part of me is always missing."

"I guess it makes sense." But I really don't know. I've lived here my whole life. I don't know how it feels to be homesick. I just know that my best friend is going to Russia for her summer vacations. Another lonely summer for me, right when I thought this one would finally be different.

I don't know what to tell her; I mostly feel lonely myself. We stay in silence for a while. It must be the first time since we met that we have nothing to say to each other, and perhaps to break the spell, Sabrina states the obvious.

"I'm going to miss you, podruga."

And because it's a two way road...

"It will be lonely without you."

"It's not as if we do that much." She says, somehow managing a smile. "I mean, we go to school together, then you have your job, and the music club... and then we do homework, read a bit, eat dinner and go to bed."

"Yeah, but summer break is in a few days. I was hoping..." But I don't tell her what I was hoping. It wouldn't be fair; it would sound as if I'm trying to guilt-trip her.

"Hoping for what?"

I lift my face at her. Her big, blue eyes are curiously shining on me, so I guess I have no choice but to spill the beans, right?

"I was thinking we could've gone to Sunset Dock's beach. But I guess it can't be done."

"You can go with Joe."

I sigh heavily. Joe is okay and we both know it, but she doesn't get it. Joe isn't my best friend Sabrina. He doesn't have a Russian accent, he doesn't write like her fingers are on fire. He doesn't call me podruga, or talk about his dedushka. Joe is a lot of things, but a replacement for Sabrina? He isn't. Most importantly, Joe doesn't have her stunning blue eyes, and my throat knots thinking that I won't be able to see them for months.

And then her hand finds mine, giving a little squeeze, and my eyes burn with tears I don't want to spill. I don't want to be that friend who holds back others. I want her to go to Russia and see her dear dedushka, I really do. I wipe my tears with my free hand, whishing she wasn't looking at me losing it; but she is, and her hand squeezes me a bit tighter.

"Hey, Layla." She says in a very soft voice. "I'm not gone yet."

"I know!" I rush to say, and my voice comes all wrong and sour. "I know. I just... I'll be fine."

"I love you so much, you know?"

"Of course you do, silly!" I retort, trying to get a hold of myself. "I'm your best friend!"

"Exactly. And that's exactly why I don't want you to cry, okay?"

"It was just a moment of weakness." I mutter, all cranky and embarrassed, standing up and crossing my arms. I walk to the edge of dad's fake pond, trying to leave that conversation behind. And suddenly, Sabrina's arms are surrounding me. She even plants a little kiss on my cheek before resting her chin on my shoulder. And all against my will, I let her hug comfort me.

See now why Joe can't be a substitute for her?