"I have this bizarre flashbacks, you know," Arya gulped down the whisky in her hand and looked in the ice cubes in it, "but one thing is bothering me lately."

"What?" Jin looked at her.
Still holding the glass in his hand, no sign of taking any sip.

They both were sitting on the floor side by side leaning against the sofa with a whole lot of whisky and a bucket of ice on the table ordered from the room service.

"What happened in England?" Arya looked at him curiously and stopped seeing Jin's expression change.
"What?"

"How much do you remember?" His voice laced with a bit of concern.

"Nothing much." Arya sighed, "I remember your contact ditched you, you were injured and police were looking for you. Just that."

"I was on a mission." Jin this time finally took a sip.

"That I guessed already." Arya grinned.

"I was sent for a weapons dealing cartel which was smuggling small firearms in Korea. I tailed the leads across the globe and ended up in England. But something went wrong, and I had to make my way out of the danger."

"Killing the gangs and getting injured doesn't seem like getting out of danger!" Arya giggled, a little tipsy from the whisky she has been drinking for the past one hour.

"I completed the mission anyway." Jin shrugged a little.

"And then?"

"Then nothing. You saved me." Jin dismissed her, "you kept out looking for me until my contact reached and helped me evacuate."

"Too little information." Arya rolled her eyes, "details, please! Did I know why you were there? Your involvement with NIS?"

"No. I was not supposed to disclose my mission secret to any outsider. But I guess you connected the dots." Jin emptied the glass but the glass was immediately refilled by Arya's quick hand, "cause you told me that you got an offer to join NIS."

"Hmm." Arya nodded a little sleepily "and I gave you a book there, right?"

"Mnn." Jin nodded and again sipped on his glass.

"Don't drink more. You have work tomorrow." Arya held his hand, "Don't let me remind you, you are a bad, bad drinker."

Jin put the glass down and his gaze drifted away to who knows where.
He sat there quietly, head tilted at one side lightly, his perfect posture was long gone.
Maybe the alcohol was working its way on him.

"Jin?" Suddenly Arya remembered something and a small smile made surface on her lips, "can I ask you something?"

"Mnn."

"How do you feel when you know I am the little girl you talked about?" her face flushed with a mischievous grin, "your first crush?"

"First love." Jin corrected her and rubbed his eyes lazily.

"Yeah yeah, first love or whatever," Arya waved him off, "isn't it funny?"

Jin just hummed in response.
His hands still lazily scratching his palms.

"You are already drunk, aren't you?" Arya giggled seeing Jin's clueless face.

"No." Jin frowned and puffed his cheeks and Arya burst into laughter but after a few seconds, her voice dimmed down.

"You know what, Jin?"

"Mnn."

"I don't want to leave."

"Then don't." Jin looked at her, eyes dreary and lazy.

Arya didn't avert her gaze and sighed, "You are one hell of a person, Jin. You can go on without me perfectly. And you should. You have already done enough for me. Tolerating me, helping me. I'll let you breathe this time."

"Don't leave." Jin still wasn't looking away.

"You don't need me, Jin. And I want to be like you so that I don't need you anymore too." Arya smiled a little, "it already feels like I can't do this without you and I want to change that."

"Why?"

"I don't want to depend on you. I don't want to feel like the damsel in distress anymore. That is not me. I want to be free, want to take back the control of my life again without the influence you cast upon me."

"Bad?" His voice was down and a little slurred.

"Bad influence? You?" Arya chuckled, "you are the best influence anyone can get, Jin! But I am a mess. I want to fix myself. I want to accept my bad and good in myself. And you'll just bring the good in me. And I don't want that. I want to explore myself for the lover I can be, and for the villain I can be too!"

Jin nodded a little.

"Let me go in my way, ok?"

Jin was silent.

"It will be hard, you know?" Arya smiled, a little hurt.
"Knowing you won't need me but I'll need you but can't hold on."

"I need you." Jin took the glass again.

Arya's heart turned soft immediately and she smiled a little, "you are such a sweet talker in your druk state even, aren't you?"

Silence, just the sound of Jin emptying the glass and pouring the glass again.

He looked at her again, eyes all soft yet intimidating at the same time, "You are running away again. No need. I won't interfere in your life."

"Are you drunk or not?" Arya chuckled, "I am now confused."

Jin sighed and reached for the bottle of whisky emptying the drink in his hand.
Arya grabbed it and took it out of Jin's reach and reminded him, "your work, tomorrow."

Jin obediently put down his hand and brought it back to support his head while he closed his eyes.

Arya watched him in awe.

His eyes were closed, but those arched high brows made the face even more intimidating and strangely attractive. His lips were trembling a little in his light slumber and suddenly Arya just wanted to touch them. Her eyes kept locking on his flawless snowy skin.

A few strands of his raven hairs were covering the forehead and Arya carefully cast them aside with the light touch of her finger.

He was a beauty.
A stunningly elegant man who was just broken inside.
Arya wanted to reach and know why.

But not having the rights made her heart go deep in the pit of regrets and sorrow little by little which made her gulp down from the bottle in her hand and her eyes once again turned blurry,

"You know, Kim Seokjin! I never had shed tears for someone before. And you know what is the pity? I know I will shed even more and you won't need to know that."

Her fingers from his hair slightly moved down to his face, touching his unblemished skin. It felt wrong but she reminded herself lightly, "for just this once, never again."

Her hand moved down even further and traced his lips unmindedly and she leaned to have a better look at his face.

Jin's eyelids fluttered and the eyes opened slowly.

Arya didn't move.

Two pairs of eyes locked for a few seconds just inches apart.

Jin mumbled softly, "You are crying."

Arya was silent.

Jin's hand moved out from below his head and his thumb slightly wiped away her tear.

Before Arya knew, She leaned forward with all the strength she has in her and touched her lips on Jin's.

It is the second time she was taking advantage of him being drunk- Arya's conscience kicked in and she pulled away.

Both of their eyes locked again for a few more seconds and the hand of Jin that was still touching her wet cheeks to wipe away the tears hesitantly moved to the side and slipped into her hair.

One moment of silence and both of their lips connected once again.

The kiss was light yet passionate. Arya's face was burning as her hands moved to Jin's nape, gripping his hairs in her fist.

Her heart felt warm and soft as Jin kissed her slowly with a burning passion.

It was getting difficult to breathe, but Arya didn't care anymore. All she knew was that she was feeling something she has no idea about and surely she doesn't want to end this time so soon.

"Jin," Arya whispered in between and breathed, "Jin..."

Jin's other hand slid around Arya's waist and pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss.

Arya's fingers fiddled with the button of Jin's shirt while her breath turned heavy, "Jin?"

"Mnn." Jin hummed a little in the kiss.

"Thank you." Arya smiled but did not notice Jin stop suddenly.

"Thank you for being by my side." Arya smiled gratefully, "Because of you I am here today. You saved me."

Jin's one hand loosened around Arya's waist but Arya was still oblivious. She kept on her words, "You helped me so much all these times, believed in me when nobody did, stayed right here with me." Arya smiled a little, "I didn't know how else would I thank you, so..."

Arya couldn't finish her word.

Jin suddenly opened his eyes and pushed her away from him.

Her heart sank at the sight. What happened? Is he sober? Her heart fell to her stomach with fear, did he come to his senses?

Either way, it was clear that he didn't want to continue what they were doing or didn't want to hear what Arya was saying and let her finish it. and her heart trembled at the thought.

She finally realized, how cruel it was.

Never before in her life, she had taken the word "shame" on herself. But right now, it crept on her like a filthy bug.
Her lips were still lingering on Jin's touch and the swirl of embarrassment inside her made her want to go and hide somewhere where she won't need to face this man anymore.

Elegant of not, Jin was still just an ordinary man, and wasn't it normal for him to give in after all her shameless deeds?
He was indeed so nice to her, but that was not the nice she hoped for now...

"Jin...are you sober?" Arya asked hesitantly.

"Mnn." Jin's voice came mumbled as his sight was down now.

Arya's heart shattered.
What the hell did just she do?
How audacious she could be with this man?

It was almost like a sin.

To save Jin from the awkwardness, she decided to be shameless and an impulsive person once again though her heart was shattered.

"Good, you are such a bad drunk," Arya said lightly.

Jin was silent.

"Jin..."

Before she could say something again Jin looked at her but averted his gaze instantly, "I...I..."

"About the kiss?" Arya grinned enthusiastically, "don't be like that, Jin! It happens, no?"

Jin directly look at her this time and she felt so broken that she just wanted to weep.

"Happens?"

"Of course!" Arya laughed and patted his shoulder, "guess we both were drunk, it is normal between two friends, so don't take it too seriously!"

"Normal?" Jin's voice was clear and low.

Arya's voice stuck inside the edge of her throat, not wanting to come out anymore, but she still tried to mitigate the situation.

"Don't take it too seriously?" Jin's voice had something that made Arya again look at him.

Arya felt like her heart was being pressed against an immense force that she couldn't make any words anymore. The fear of her true feelings being found out was so terrible that she just decided Jin should think about her like a cheap and flippant person to say something like this but now she regretted saying those words without thinking it before.

She lowered her gaze and whispered, "...I am sorry."

Jin looked at her and hesitantly reached for her.

Arya's heart was aching but she just smiled and got up ignoring the hand, "God, It is late. I should go back!"

"Arya..."

Arya didn't want to hear any more words. There was a fear creeping inside her mind that was making her weak every second. She knew she will not able to control herself if she stays anymore and will break down in front of Jin. And this is the last thing she wanted right now.

Arya picked up her blazer and seeing Jin getting up from the floor, she blurted hurriedly, "You do not need to come, I can see myself out. Don't come."

Jin stopped in his track.

Arya took some long strides and opened the door and looked back.

Jin was standing right there, head low, hand fiddling with the button of his shirt hesitantly that Arya undid before.

Once again embarrassment and guilty feelings flashed through herself and she called, "Jin?"

Jin looked up.

"I am sorry...for tonight."

Jin's calm voice came, "You don't need to say this to me, ever."

Arya tried to smile a little and came out shutting the door behind her.

She almost ran to her room and entering it, she leaned against the door frame.

Her hand came up and touched her heart as humiliation crept inside her once again.

When the sound of the shutting of the door came from Jin's room just beside her, She let go of the blazer and plopped in her bed, and covered her face in the pillow.

But the heat from her steaming face didn't fade out.
The scent of Jin was still there.

She went inside the bathroom and splashed water on her face but the scent still lingered in her heart and she knew, she couldn't go to sleep anymore.

The thought of Jin being just a wall apart and what she did will make her wide awake and there was no use in thinking in a pity inside an alone room.

So Arya got up, put on her running wears, slipped into her sneakers, and went out for a run.

Only if she didn't go overboard her emotions and lose control, probably she'd be still able to sleep peacefully inside her suite, pretending nothing has happened, pretending nothing is going inside her mind instead of running around the city like a headless fly.

After a few laps along the beach, she finally stopped for a second, and putting her hands on her knees she panted softly, taking in the night breeze.

She went out for getting rid of her thoughts, but she ended up pondering on those again and she sighed, at least it was not hurting her like before.

Before she could start running again, her phone rang.

She looked at the number and frowned, Taehyung?

"Yes?"

"Noona, wherever you are right now, come to the conference room." His voice was serious.

"Now? You know it is nighttime?"

"It is code six, noona." Taehyung's voice was calm but she could still feel the anxiousness behind it and her heart missed a beat hearing the code.

It was a state emergency.