My eyes opened on a different ceiling than the one Theodore had been looking at. For long moments I lay there, waiting for the heaviness of Theodore's fever to fade away. Theodore had gotten sick, not Henrietta. But he had lived? I sat up, with more questions than answers.

The candle still burned at my bedside, and I blew it out. I wondered if the candle would be like the postcard, and only show me these few months and not what I needed to know most: did Henry die during the Spanish influenza? If she didn't, then all my worry was for nothing and Cedric wasn't fated to die. But if she didn't die, what happened to her? Why wasn't there an obituary for her?

Cedric had texted, and also Eli. I texted Eli first: Helium tank acquired. Then I answered Cedric's U up?  with, Yeah had to go to Walmart with Mom and then I needed a nap LOL

Walmart? I thought you had enough toilet paper to get you through to 2024

Well now we have more. Mom needed a bunch of other stuff too. And I kinda wanted to get out of the house

My phone buzzed with an incoming video call from Cedric.

"Hi sorry I just need you to prove that you are still James, my boyfriend who is afraid to leave the house?"

I laughed. "It's really me, I swear."

Cedric leaned in. "What's my middle name?"

"Michael."

"When's my birthday?"

"November second."

"What's my deepest fear?"

My lips quirked. "Being unoriginal."

Cedric sat back, grinning. "Okay, okay. I guess you really are my boyfriend."

"What's up?" I asked him. "I didn't read through all your texts. You mentioned something about having dinner together?"

"Oh, it was just this idea I had. We both order takeout from the same restaurant. I know your mom likes takeout. Then you go pick it up at the same time I go pick it up. And we can see each other from afar and behind masks, and maybe we can hold hands for a brief moment in time and hopefully that will give me something to think about later, during my ten minutes of private time in the shower."

My body grew warm, just thinking about holding his hand. "I like it. I, um, might have to think about that in the shower before it happens, so I'm not visibly aroused when I arrive at Panera."

"How did you know I was thinking about Panera?" he asked with narrowed eyes.

I shrugged. "It was that or Chipotle. I took an educated guess that Chipotle was not the best pre-masturbation food."

Behind Cedric, Nic yelled, "You guys are so GROSS!" and stormed out of the room. We couldn't help it: we started laughing and couldn't stop.

With a plan to see Cedric again, I decided to delay my promposal. The closer to May we got, the better. It was looking more and more like we wouldn't have a graduation ceremony, either, and I needed something to look forward to.

That night, I arrived at Panera and parked, taking my time as I walked up to the door. I couldn't linger inside, as the point of pickup was to dart in and out. So I walked slowly, and then I saw him.

That hug felt like it had happened months ago. The last time we had kissed felt longer ago than that. I pulled out my phone and texted him. Can't wait to get my hand on you

He pulled out his phone, still halfway across the parking lot, and then he looked up and I knew by his eyes that he was smiling. His pace didn't hurry. I shifted my weight, wanting him to get here faster, and began to realize that my pants were feeling tight. Watching him walk my way was turning me on.

Then he was beside me, the standard six feet away. "Now," he said, "you need to behave yourself, Mr. Greer."

If I spoke then, my voice would have cracked. So I just reached out my hand, and touched my pinky finger to his.

He sucked in a breath.

His fingers danced over mine. I didn't want to close my hand around his, I wanted to stay open, hoping that more than hand-holding would happen. His thumb brushed over my knuckles and his fingers circled my wrist. I traced over the lines of his palm.

Finally, our hands fit together. I looked at him, and he looked at me. It hurt not to give in to the pull between us. I couldn't stop looking at his eyes, gray above the top of his neon green and black checkered mask, the swoop of his blue hair covering the rest of his face. My fingers tightened as I pressed my lips together. It was an effort not to pull him to me. My muscles trembled trying to resist it.

"Maybe we don't have to go in," Cedric said.

My voice cracked. "We can stay out here for the rest of the night."

"Socially distanced hand-holding."

"It isn't weird."

"Not weird at all."

"Just two people, holding hands outside a Panera."

"Absolutely nothing to see here."

The talking helped ease the tightness of my throat. I took in a deep breath. Cedric squeezed my hand. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "I just wish..."

"I know."

His thumb ran over the back of my hand again, slowly.

"Keep doing that, and I won't be able to control myself. I'll be forced to ravish you."

His eyes crinkled. "I could go for a good ravishing."

"I will ravish the heck out of you."

He pressed his hand to his heart. "James, such language."

We laughed, and that felt even better.

Eventually, we had to let go. We walked into Panera and grabbed our bags. He had three bags for all the food for his family. "Now, when you get home, you have to call me, and we're going to eat together. Your mom and you and me and my whole family."

"Mom will probably get a kick out of that. Just know that she's been drinking since she finished up work at three."

"That just means she'll be more fun."

We stood at our separate cars in the parking lot, he beside his mom's Subaru and me beside my car. Though we were more than six feet apart, I found myself leaning toward him. It couldn't hurt to kiss him. And if he had coronavirus, or I had coronavirus, then we would both have it. We could die together, like Romeo and Juliet, only less stabby.

In the end, though, Cedric went home and I went home, and we ate our food together in our separate houses, and later, in the shower, I let the water wash over my face and didn't touch myself at all. When I went to bed, I held my own hand in the dark and pretended it was Cedric.