THE REASON

chapter nine : sad and happy tears
[ season five – episode five ]

   KLOE LET OUT a few coughs as she inhaled the smoke particles in the air. She squinted her eyes as she opened them, her vision was blurred and the light seeping through the smashed windows made her head sensitive.

She blinked religiously, attempting to be rid of the blurriness. She frowned deeply, trying to turn her head to the side. She winced when pain shot through the back of her head.

A loud cry of agony escaped her lips, which caused Glenn to shoot up from his daze and confusion. Within a few seconds, he was fine and steadied himself up.

"Klo? Hey, you okay?" he asked worriedly, kneeling down in front of her. He extended out his hand, to which she only stared at it as she squinted her eyes.

She blinked a few times more before finally grabbing onto his hand. He lifted her up with his strength, quickly wiping away some blood that escaped his new wound on the side of his forehead.

For extra support, Glenn set his other hand on the back of his wife's shoulder. His eyes widened for a moment as he winced and brought his hand away. He glanced down at his hand, his own blood beginning to ooze out of his palm.

"Shit, did my shoulder bone snap in half and stab you in the hand, because it sure as hell feels like it," Kloe croaked out, stretching her other arm across her chest to touch the back of her right shoulder. "Oh fuck, it is?"

"No, no, it's not," Glenn shook his head. "There's glass in your shoulder. Let me see." He climbed over the bus that was on its side, crouching down behind his wife. He grimaced as he saw the wound on her shoulder.

"Is it a big shard?" Kloe wondered as she glanced around at the place, watching everyone lift themselves up.

Glenn shook his head, then remembered that Kloe was facing the other way, "no, no it's small. Uh, we have to get it out before it gets infected and patch it up."

"But Isabelle said you have to disinfect it first," Kloe said aloud, her brows furrowing deeply as she attempted to peer over her own shoulder to spot the shard. "It still feels like my shoulder's snapped in half."

"Your shoulder has definitely not snapped, Kloe," Glenn reassured as he examined the wound, trying to figure out how deep it was. "It's not that deep. D'you want me to pull it out real quick?"

"Yeah, yeah. Hang on." She unwrapped her thin black cardigan from around her waist, twisting the arm of it. "This is gonna hurt like a bitch, right?"

"Yes, a lot," Glenn nodded, carefully wrapping his fingers around the sharp object.

Someone from one of the seats beside them pulled themselves up, after having crashed onto the other side of the bus where it flipped over. "Oh shit, are you alright?" Tara asked, leaning over the side to take a peek at the glass.

"Excuse me as I scream into my cardigan, because this is gonna hurt," Kloe forced a small laugh as she clenched her jaw down onto the thin, black fabric.

"I'm sorry," Glenn muttered before ripping the piece of glass out of his wife's shoulder, causing a muffled yell to escape her lips into the cardigan. "Tara, could you get one of the bandages out of the medkit from the back? Please, quick?"

"Yeah, of course," Tara obliged and rushed to the back of the bus on its side by climbing over the seats. The emergency medkit was lying on its side, covered with glass.

Tara didn't hesitate to grab it, swiping away all of the small pieces of glass with the side of her hand — remaining extra careful to not accidentally get a piece of glass in her.

She spun on her heel, rushing back over to the others as she unclipped the small box, the white bandages at the very top. She grasped onto them as she reached Glenn and Kloe, handing the white cotton to the man.

He took in within an instant, thanking the other woman. Tara stopped him quickly, "wait, wait, wait. Take the wipes." She passed over the wipes to him. "Wipe away the blood and the wound. They're disinfectant wipes."

Glenn pulled out one of the wipes, swallowing thickly as he looked back up at his wife's shoulder — which still poured out blood from how thick the shard was.

"Feels like someone's pissing on my back," Kloe groaned, pangs of pain still rocketing through her head and her shoulder.

"How hard did you hit your head?" Tara questioned with concern as Glenn wiped away the blood. "How many fingers am I holding up?" She lifted up three fingers in front of Kloe's face so then she frowned.

"Look, he may be a dumbass," she pointed over her injured shoulder, "but there ain't no dumbass sitting here. Four." Tara couldn't help but snort, despite their big situation. "I'm kidding. Three."

"Jesus fucknuts," Abraham grunted as he pulled himself up, "everyone, you alright?"

"Minus the huge stab wound in Klo's arm, yeah, we're alright," Maggie responded, squinting her eyes as she scanned around the area. There were walkers attempting to get through via the smashed windows.

"Damn, you alright, Kloe?" Abraham inquired, peering over one of the seats and glancing down at the bloody mess in front of him. Glenn taped the bandage over Kloe's wound, while Kloe tried to wipe away the blood that had trickled down her arm with her other hand.

"Never been better," Kloe forced a smile as she turned to the side to face the Ford man.

"The preacher..." Eugene muttered out as he panted heavily, "didn't see another way out."

"The hell is he on about again?" Kloe deadpanned, raising her brows as she faced the direction the man was speaking from. "Didn't I call you Sheldon Cooper?"

"The engine's on fire," Rosita pointed out as she steadied herself. "We gotta get out of here."

After Glenn finished patching his wife up, he rose to his feet without hesitation and offered his hand out for Kloe to grasp onto. With her good arm, she clasped onto his hand and grunted as he pulled her up with all of his strength.

"Alright," Glenn started as he placed Kloe's hand on one of the seats so she could stand up with support and turned to Abraham as he formed a plan, "you and I knock 'em back," he turned to the side and pointed to two of the women, "clear the way for Klo, Maggie, and Rosita to get out, then we all start hitting them, okay?"

"Yeah, alright," Abraham acknowledged. "We'll do it live."

Glenn made his way to the back of the bus, to which his wife followed. She picked up one of the guns that were on the ground in the midst of shattered glass.

Both her and Maggie pressed their backs against the 'roof' of the bus, quietly making Kloe grunt from the small sharp pain coming from her shoulder. If she was being honest, it hurt like a bitch — but her adrenaline was subsiding that pain largely.

Walkers snarled rather loudly as Abraham walked over toward the others, the back of the bus. "Tara, you cover Eugene, come out when it's clear," he ordered. Tara replied with a small 'okay'. "Rosita, you cover the back. On my go!" He reached up for the metal bars above him as Glenn gripped onto the emergency exit handle. "Go!"

Glenn released the handle and Abraham went to kick the door open with both of his feet, having extra force from holding onto the metal bars. It took a few attempts since the mass of walkers that were leaning against it, but the walkers were kicked back and the door flew open.

In unison, Abraham and Glenn climbed out. The pair both pushed back the walkers with force, making a clear way for Kloe and Maggie. The women both nodded to one another before hauling themselves over.

Kloe stepped over to the side, lifting her good arm to push any walker away that got near her. She kicked their knees, knocking them to the ground. She whipped out her knife from her belt — the one Reina had put in there — and slashed it down onto the walker's skull.

She stood back up, two walkers beginning to turn their attention to someone new. Kloe briefly turned to the side, spotting Eugene with a knife in both of his hands.

Exhaling heavily, she pushed herself forward, gripping onto one of the walkers' shoulders and driving her knife into its brain. She did the same with the other walker.

Eugene stared at her for a moment, his eyes widening as he lunged forward. Kloe, taken aback, spun on her heel from the shock as Eugene brushed past her. She watched with surprise as he slid his knife into a walker's throat.

Without second thoughts, she stepped forward and shoved her knife through the walker's chin and through the brain. The walker dropped down to the ground lifelessly as Tara stopped beside them.

And finally, Glenn took out the last walker against the side of the church bus. There was silence — nothing but people breathing — as they looked around.

Feeling a wave of exhaustion, Kloe limped over to one of the abandoned vehicles on the road and crashed into it. Everyone faced her as she slid down to the ground, leaning her head on the side of the vehicle.

"You okay, Klo?" Abraham asked, being the closest to the woman. "You look like you're not doing so hot."

"I'm fine. Just running on fumes," she answered truthfully, opening her eyes to look at the man, who seemed unconvinced. "I swear... nothing's wrong."

"Alright..." Abraham trailed off before turning to Eugene. He glanced down at Rosita, "check Eugene, see if he's hurt."

"I'm fine. Just cuts and dings is all."

"Check him!" Abraham instructed strictly, pointing his bloody knife to the Porter man.

Rosita silently scoffed to herself before rising to her feet, treading over to the smart man. Eugene's eyes drifted down to the blood coating the red head's hand. "Is that your blood?"

Abraham glanced down at his hand, "yeah. Damn thing opened again. I swear, the cuts are finer than frog's hair. They're just deep bleeders."

"First aid kit's still in the bus," Maggie countered as she stood up. "I'll see what we have."

As she turned around, her body froze. Fire set light to the bus, burning everything that was inside and blocking their entrance to getting back in. The fire roared as it grew, illuminating a warm orange color on their faces.

"Damn," Kloe muttered as she pulled herself back up with the very little strength she maintained, "I was kinda hoping we got to keep that tape..."

"Yeah... it was fun while it lasted," Abraham murmured as he crouched down for his duffel bag which managed to drop to the floor among the pile of dead bodies. "We're not stopping. We're rolling on. We'll find another vehicle down the road. The mission hasn't changed."

As Kloe steadied herself, she set her hand over her chest. Glenn immediately was familiar with the small gesture and reached into his pocket, wrapping his fingers around the asthma reliever he always kept.

He stepped over to her, offering it to her. She sent her husband an appreciative smile before taking it and using it.

"Devil's advocate, nothing more, we smashed to a stop hard," Eugene told Abraham from beside the Greene woman. "We spent a lot of time rolling things out of the road. The church is just fifteen miles back that way."

"No," Abraham dismissed, shaking his head with a stern expression, "we don't stop. We don't go back. We're at war, and retreat means we lose. The road fights back, the plan gets jacked. You all know that!"

As Kloe handed Glenn back the inhaler, her brows deepened as she watched the Ford man. Glenn did the same as he shoved the blue container back into his pocket, a mildly concerned look on his face.

Everybody else watched him with somewhat shocked faces from the random outburst the man had.

"Now, we will get through this because we have to. Every direction is a question. We don't go back!" he shouted in Eugene's face. He turned away, harshly taking steps forward with his hand wrapped around the strap of his duffel bag.

Glenn left Kloe's side, rushing over to Abraham. "Hey, hey, hey," Glenn pressed his hand onto the man's chest to stop him from going any further, "you okay?"

"I am fit as a damn fiddle," Abraham spat, his face stern.

The Rhee man tilted his head to the side moderately, his hands lifted away from the man's chest. "We're going with you," he reminded. "You are calling this thing. I just need to know you're good."

Abraham glanced down at the concrete, nodding his head. "This is how things stop," he looked up at Glenn, staring dead into his eyes. "I can't afford that right now. The world can't afford it. Listen, I took a pretty hard shot to the sack with that crash. I am stressed and depressed to see that ride die, but if you say we're rolling on, I'm good."

While Abraham was giving his short 'speech', Kloe had stepped over to Maggie and silently asked if she was okay. She nodded, which made Kloe send her a small smile.

Glenn shared a short glance with his wife before going back to look at Abraham, "we're rolling on," he repeated.

The red head bobbed his head once more, "I'm gonna rub some dirt on it and walk it off."

"Yeah," Glenn nodded along, taking a few steps back.

"We'll find what we need like we always have, on the way," Rosita added, setting her hands on her hips.

"I'm not rubbing dirt on anything," Maggie shook her head with a grin as she looked between Abraham and Glenn.

"Maybe we can find some bikes," Tara suggested, shrugging her shoulders. "Bikes don't burn."

"Okie-dokie, then. It's settled," Kloe etched a tight-lipped smile as she walked forward, "on we go!"

The others all shared amused smiles with each other as they watched the Rhee woman. They all followed her, walking down the small hill on the side of the road to avoid getting exploded by the burning bus.

...

After around five hours of walking, nighttime had fallen and they needed to find somewhere to rest for the night.

They stopped at a library that had been completely abandoned — including the walkers. There were only a few stragglers in the town, which were easy to take out.

Tara used an empty can to fill up with water from the toilet. Kloe and Rosita covered the windows with some blankets and scraps they had found in the back where people first stayed during the outbreak.

Glenn and Abraham moved the bookcases for more fortification. If a walker just so happened to stumble by, they still needed protection. Even if a human being walked by, they didn't want to meet any new friends any time soon.

Eugene managed to set a battery alight and set fire to a piece of paper. He threw the paper into a trash can which they used to boil the water Tara had gotten from the toilets.

Maggie was in the back with a bunch of unused notebooks, ripping out the pages to get the fire Eugene started stronger. She handed them over the side to Tara, who walked back over to Eugene and threw the pages into the trash can.

All while Abraham hummed a song that was stuck in his head.

Kloe strolled over to Maggie, who was pulling out something from the spine of a book. She pulled out a white string, slowly turned around and handed it to Kloe.

She examined it for a moment before she stepped over to Rosita and gave it to her. It was a string to use to stitch up Abraham's wound on his hand.

Walking back over to Maggie, the Greene woman had offered out another piece of string to her. "For your shoulder."

Kloe waved her off, but took the string anyway, "my shoulder's fine. It'll heal on its own most likely."

"I can do it for you, it's okay," Maggie smiled, setting her hand on Kloe's good shoulder. "It's not all about healing. It's about the infections you could get and the bacteria."

Kloe took a deep breath as she nodded, giving in. The pair stepped over to the main part of the library where the others were and took a seat near the fire.

She shrugged off her cardigan carefully, grimacing at the pain that shot through her entire arm. "Where is everybody?" she asked, scanning around the place.

"Pretty sure Abraham and Rosita are getting down on each other if you listen closely," Maggie chuckled, causing Kloe to quietly snort and shake her head. "Tara's talking with Eugene, because he's watching them. And Glenn's on watch."

"Why is Eugene watching them?" Kloe silently laughed as the white bandage on the back of her shoulder was removed.

"God knows," Maggie grinned. The grin soon dropped as she winced at the large open wound. She picked up the thread and pin, positioning it right to start stitching.

The pair stayed quiet for a while, Kloe's face scrunching up every time Maggie pushed the needle through her skin.

"I miss the others," Kloe said barely above a whisper, somewhat tilting her head to the side as she stared ahead at the bookshelves. "It's weird being split up again."

"Yeah, I do too," Maggie agreed, brushing some of her hair back away from her face as she leaned forward, trying not to mess up the stitching. "I'm sure we'll see them soon, though. They might be on their way as we're speaking."

"Maybe," Kloe nodded, pursing her lips. "What happens after Eugene gets the cure? After we take out all the walkers, would everything go back to normal? Like how it used to be?"

"I hope so," the Greene replied. "I'm tired of losing people all the time. It'd be nice to go clothes shopping again. Be clean. Eat proper food. I doubt it would ever be the same though."

"Me too... but I'm just thinking... if the world does go back to normal, would we all go back to what we were doing before? For example, we get houses, jobs, a life, all stuff like that. We wouldn't have to have each other's backs anymore."

Maggie finished stitching up the wound, cutting off the excess string with a pair of scissors. She set her hands on the side of the woman's shoulders and leaned over to see Kloe's face. "We'll always have each other's backs."

"You did it already?" Kloe found herself asking with surprise, attempting to eye her healing wound by looking over her shoulder. "That was fast."

"My dad taught me how to stitch last year. After Beth had done what she done when Andrea left her, I told him to teach me just in case someone else close to me does the same," Maggie elaborated, looking down at the ground sadly as she sat herself beside her friend.

Kloe brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, looking over at Maggie with sympathetic eyes. "I'm sorry, Maggie. Losing a parent is one of the worst feelings..."

"Yeah... it is," she agreed, nodding her head unhurriedly. She then peered over at Kloe. "You say you lost your dad, right?" Kloe nodded. "What about your mother? Did you lose her too or do you not know?"

Kloe swallowed thickly, turning her head forward. She never spoke about her mother. She never wanted to. The past was the past and the shit her mother put her through was enough to put her in a bad mood for a whole week at least.

"You don't have to say if you don't want to. I get it completely," Maggie assured, offering the woman a small smile.

"She died when I was eighteen," she started, catching Maggie off guard. She slowly gazed back at the Greene woman. "It was a few days after I turned eighteen, and I was heading back from school with my school counselor to make sure I got home safe. And yeah, I went to a counselor weekly because the crap my mom got me to do was mentally draining. She— she would always blame me for my dad's death... my brother leaving... her own state of wellbeing. With every little cash that I earned, she forced me to go out and get drugs. And not the drugs to help her, the drugs that—"

She stopped, tears covering her eyes that threatened to spill. "You really don't have to tell me, Klo. You know that," Maggie repeated.

"She got me to get drugs because she had no idea what to do with herself," she ignored. "One time, I got her to go to a therapist and rehab. I had to stay at my friend's house for a few months, but after that it was good again. She started to get better for a while, but it went very, very bad. She got me to get the drugs again, be her slave, get her money. If I didn't do any of those things, she would throw empty glasses or— or plates and shit at me. And then one day... it just all ended when I walked through the front door."

"Wh— what do you mean by... ended?" Maggie inquired, rubbing the woman's back comfortingly.

"She hanged herself," she choked out. "In her bedroom. I— I remember crying for days and weeks or maybe even months but—" she paused, swallowing thickly, "but after a few days, I think I was crying with relief. I finally felt free when I had to move in with my brother for a few years, then I got into college and got a dorm."

"I'm sorry, Kloe," Maggie apologized warmly. "No one deserves to see their mom like that. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"It's fine, really. I'm not exactly crying because she's dead... I think I'm upset because of the things I miss. About what she used to do with me and Zayn before our dad died. I'm still relieved she's gone. But every time I think that, I just feel guilty. Who the hell thinks things like that?"

"Hey, look at me," Maggie said, causing the other woman to look over at her. "From what you just told me, your mother did horrible things. And the worst part was that she left you all by yourself. That's a shitty thing to do as a mother."

Kloe glumly smiled at Maggie, nodding her head gratefully at her. She turned to face the ground again. "Zayn apologized for everything this morning. About how he left me with her. I'm not kidding, I've never seen that man be so apologetic in my life."

"I've never heard him say sorry before," Maggie pointed out, snickering slightly. "Thing is, he's never really done anything to actually apologize for, so..."

"That's true, I guess," Kloe chuckled, wiping away the tears that were on her cheeks and sniffed. "Thank you."

"For what?" Maggie wondered, raising a brow.

"For listening to my stupid rambles," Kloe laughed again, wiping away more salty tears.

"You know what this is like?" Maggie questioned, causing the Rhee woman to glance over at her, moderately confused. "The night when you, Glenn, and T-Dog showed up at my farm. It was the night Otis died and you were there for me while I shed a good few tears."

The edges of Kloe's lips lifted, remembering the night all too well. "I swear I remember everything. If someone were to ask 'hey, what did I have for dinner three weeks and five days ago—'" she cut herself off from Maggie chuckling at the fake deep voice Kloe mimicked for the question, making her laugh along.

The chuckles soon turned to laughs, ones that included snorting and watery eyes. "I think we're losing it," Maggie mentioned, wiping away one of her own tears. "Why are we laughing at something stupid?"

"Just like old times, huh? Wait, remember when Zayn tried to do that high pitched voice for Judith and pretended to be a fairy—" Kloe was cut off once again when the pair both cracked out into laughing fits. Maggie went weak from laughing so hard and leaned back against the floor.

"Did you guys find alcohol in the back or what?" Glenn questioned as he stepped into the room, chuckling himself as he watched the two women unable to contain their laughter.

"I wish," Kloe snorted like a pig, resulting in Maggie to completely lose it and whack the floor with her palm a few times as she tried to breathe.

"And Zayn said— he said, 'hello there, little Judith! It's me, your fairy Godmother—" Maggie stopped as she cackled a little louder than before, the high pitched voice she was putting on giving her a voice crack.

"Can't forget about the pink tiara he had too," Glenn countered as he took a seat on the ground opposite them. He couldn't help but laugh along with them as the pair burst out into more fits of laughter.

"Alright, alright, shut up for a minute, I need to drink," Kloe panted, a tear rolling down the side of her cheek from laughing so much. She reached over for her water bottle which had lasted her all day.

There was only a mouthful left, enough for her to be rid of the dryness in her mouth. As she poured the liquid into her mouth, she accidentally looked over at Maggie and immediately regretted it.

Kloe's hand flew to her mouth as water began to spray out, Maggie then burying her head in her hands as she fell back to the ground. "I'm so sorry," Maggie creased, "I just have the picture in my head of Zayn speaking like that to the baby with the plastic tiara and fake wings—"

And that was it, the water flew out of Kloe's mouth, no matter how much she tried to compress it to stay inside. Now it was Glenn's turn to become a laughing disaster.

She coughed a few times as she dried her chin with the back of her hand, the coldness of the water seeping through her black jeans and onto her skin. The coughs then, as expected, turned into laughter.

"We— we can't forget when Jayce strutted in with the magic wand and lectured Zayn about forgetting it—"

Kloe folded forward, the laughing beginning to hurt her stomach and gave her a stitch. She folded her arms across her abdomen, the lack of oxygen making her eyes water more as well as making her face go bright red.

Oh, how a night of sad tears turned to happy tears. 

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words: 4534
27th may 2023
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okay this may or may not be one of my fav chapters i've ever made idek why LMAO
stranger things 4 has been out for AN EXACT YEAR WHAT THE FUCK.