LUX BONTERI

A few hours later – which was at about four in the morning – Lux was working with his computers in his indoor Lookout station. He was reviewing the security footage of the past two days. Or at least, that was what he was trying to do.

His thoughts kept wandering away from his work. He couldn’t concentrate on anything. It was all because of that kiss…

“Ugh! There I go again!” he said aloud. He put his head in his hands in frustration.

His hair felt messy, so he proceeded to hunt through his drawers for his hairbrush. A few minutes later, he had found it, and dragged it through his hair a few times. It looked a lot better afterwards.

But even though he looked a little better, he was still tormented. He had forgotten what it felt like to kiss her, and now that he was remembering…

Cushioning himself in his arms, he put his head down on the desk space in front of him. He sighed. He hated living this way, but without Ahsoka, he couldn’t really imagine it being otherwise. She was color and light, and now his life was empty of them, because she was gone.

A few minutes later, he heard the door open. He didn’t bother looking up, but he recognized the soft footsteps of the person who came in.

“Go away, Amni,” he managed to choke out. “I just want to be alone.”

“You know I can’t do that, Lux,” she replied, her voice with its slight Ryl accent softer than usual. “A good doctor never abandons their patient willingly.”

He said nothing. She pulled up another rolling chair like the one he was in, sat down and began to massage his back. “Talk to me. You will never find balance if you don’t get it out into the open.”

This wasn’t the first time she had asked Lux to tell her how he was feeling. They would have talks like this, no matter the time, and she would give him a massage to soothe the tension. A little like he and Ahsoka once had...

“I feel so alone. I know that I have you, and Anakin and Christo, but it’s not the same.”

Amni nodded, and continued to rub her fists in little circles in between his shoulder blades. “I know. Sometimes the companionship of friends and family isn’t enough. You need that of someone with a different place in your heart.

“How do you know about all this?”

“I’m a doctor, Lux,” she said, sitting up. “It’s my job to know these things. We Healers have a more, ah, easygoing relationship with emotions, unlike most Jedi. It’s not always easy to bear, but it’s worth it, because we can better help our patients than without it.”

Suddenly her comlink rang. Fatigue flashed across her face for a moment, then it was replaced by her usual serene expression. “No rest for the weary. That’s a call from the medical wing. Something must have happened that requires my attention.”

She got up and walked to the door. “And Lux, please try to get more sleep. You already look like a ghost enough as it is.” Suddenly her expression changed from concerned to grinning. “And I don’t want to see you out of bed before eleven tomorrow, Lux Bonteri! And if you do leave your room, I will know!”

He managed a small smile in return, a rarity for him. The door slid shut behind her, and he was left in silence, which was interrupted only by the beeps of the computers.

“I hate being alone, Ahsoka,” he whispered to a picture of her on the wall. He wasn’t that bad at sketching, and had drawn it to keep him company when she had gone to recruit younglings before the coma. “I miss you. More than you know.”