A/n: OK soooooo, this is based on the song, I skipped the first part of the song, sorry but... Hope you enjoy cuase it's Hella long! 😂
Warning! : Suicide, angst
Jeremy's P. O. V
It has been 4 weeks after the squip-incedent, everyone was back to their normal happy lives, as if the incident never happened. I, on the other hand, am not happy. I am now in a guilty and fucked up life. I feel so fucking guilty taking the God damn squip, giving everyone a squip, almost destroying society and most of all...... Calling Michael, my best friend of 12 years and crush of 3 years, a loser. But I still can't believe that he forgive me, after everything I did. All I know is that I still feel the guilt and dread.
Right now it's 7:00 P. M and I'm at Michael's house, playing Apocalypse Of The Damned in his basement. His parents were on a business trip, which means we have the whole house to ourselves!
We have been playing for 4 hours now, then our characters died due to zombies eating our brains. "Damn it!" Michael yelled, sinking into his bean bag in frustration. "When are we going to beat this fucking level?" he said, I just laughed at his childish whines. "Well you need to act fast before the zombies attcke, you nerd." I said. He looked at me and smirked
"Dork" he said
So we just jokingly name call each other before Micheal said "Loser" (A/n: this was hard for me to type out) and laughed. I started to panic, I never liked that word after the incident, it brings so much guilt and bad memories. I felt tears start to form and my breathing got quicker. Micheal looked at me, then realized what he said "Jer-bear, I'm sorry I didn't mean to-" before he could finish I ran upstairs, locking myself in the bathroom.
You locked yourself in the bathroom
I was having a full blown panic attack, I was sitting on the floor crying my eyes out. I hated the past, I tried to get over it but I just couldn't stop remembering all of the horrible memories. Voices were filled in my head.
"Loser"
"Pathetic"
"Idiot"
"Waste of space"
I was tugging on my hair, hopping the voices would just stop. Until, one voice got my attention.
"You should just end it all, Michael would be so happy if your were never there in his life right now. Dad would just be relieved and just rest instead of taking care of you. Christine rejected you, so it's not like she would care. Brooke is heartbroken because of you. Chloe wouldn't mind. Jenna will have the best rumors about you when your gone. Rich and Jake would just bully you again. So go ahead, die" (A/n: Curse my 13 year old mind)
Maybe the voice was right. Besides, I'm just a burden to everyone in life. All I've done is cause everyone pain.
I slowly stood up and walked over to the cabinets under the sink, I slowly opened it and there on the concrete was a knife.
~ Flashback from when their 13~
I walked inside Michael's house for our play date but he wasn't in his room, so I went inside the bathroom. I opened it and saw Michael putting a fucking knife in the cabinet
"what the hell are you doing?" I asked
He jumped slightly, startled by my appearance and looked at me.
"I just had this, like, amazing idea! So like, if I'm in the bathroom showering or taking a shit and there's an intruder in the house I could just grab the knife fron the cabinets and stab the son of a bitch" he said with the grin.
I laughed, "Your an idiot"
"Hey! It's a smart idea!"
We walked out of the bathroom and started playing APOCALYPSE OF THE Damned, level 3
~ End of flashback ~
I giggled a little bit, it was a funny was. Bit now, I never thought that the person that would be stabbed is me. I picked up the knife, stood up and put it close to my chest, thinking my second thoughts.
Well, this is it. Finally doing what I've been wanting to do since 7th grade. If I do this then... Everyone would.. Be sad... But why do they care? No one cares about me. I'm sorry Michael Mell, you are a great friend and I love you. But you deserve someone better than a fucked up person like me.
I took one shaky breath, a small smile appeared on my face for some reason. I plunged the knife in my chest quick and SHIT! IT HURTS!!! But I didn't scream, it hurts too much to scream.
I then pulled the knife out, feeling my legs starting to give up on me. I fell to the ground, the walls were sound proof so at least Micheal wouldn't hear me from downstairs. Everything started to get blury and before I know it, everything was pitch black.
Michael's P.O.V
I watched Jeremy run up the stairs, hearing the bathroom door closed shut and locked.
SHIT! WHY DID I SAY THAT!?!? I know that Jeremy hates the word, well I don't blame him it hurts me too but I know that wasn't him. Right know I know Jeremy needs some time alone, so I just sat here I and wait.
It's been 12 minutes and Jeremy still hasn't come out yet, so I decided to go check on him. I walked up the stairs and stood in front of bathroom door, knocking it (A/n: KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK... sowwy :3 I'll stahp)
"Jeremy I'm sorry I said that, I didn't mean to. Can you please open the door?" I said but he didn't reply.
"Hello? Jeremy?" I said again but he still didn't answer.
I started to panic and I started banging on the door "JEREMY!?!" I yelled but he still didn't open the door nor said a word. At that moment I had no choice but to break through the door.
Lying on the floor when I break through
Took a few step back before charging towards the door. As I break through I saw a terrible sight if ever seen. Jeremy was lying on the floor, blood pouring out of his chest and slightly holding a bloody knife.
I pull you in to feel your heart beat, can you hear me screaming please don't leave me
I ran over to him, now sobbing. I kneeled in front of him, grabbing the knife from his hand and throwing it across the floor, I really was an idiot putting a knife in the bathroom cabinet. I looked back at him and pulled him up on my arms, feeling his heart beat. To my relief it was still beating, I looked at his face.
"JEREMY WHAT THE FUCK WE'RE YOU THINKING!?!? PLEASE STAY WITH ME BUDDY!! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" I screamed. I pulled out my phone and call for an ambulance, they told me to wait on the sidewalk. I hung up and carried him outside the house, all the way to the sidewalk and sat down while waiting impatiently for the ambulance to come.
Hold on I still want you, come back I still need you
Loads of thoughts were swarming in my mind, all I could think is for him to be okay and stay by my side forever.
Let me take your hand, I'll make it right, I swear to love you all my life. Hold on I still want you
I took his hand, which was cold and bloody. "Please don't leave me yet Jeremy, we still have a long journey ahead of us to explore. Please, I swear in my life that I will love you always, just please wake up" I said, practically begging.
A few minutes later, the ambulance arrived. They put Jeremy on a strap (A/n: I don't know what's it called) and I sat next to him as the ambulance began to move.
Long endless highway, you silent beside me. Driving a nightmare I can't escape from
We should arrive at the hospital in about 5 minutes but it felt endless. It was currently 10:23 pm, pretty late. It feels like this is just a nightmare but I can't wake up from it.
Helplessly praying, the light isn't fading. Hiding the shock and the chill in my bones
As I sat there I prayed. I prayed that my Jeremy will make it, prayde that I would get to confess my feelings and prayed that we could be together forever and ever. It was hard for me to stay still, since I am trying hard not to shack or having a panic attack.
They took you away on a table, I paced back and forth as you lay still.
Once we arrived, they put Jeremy and a bed and rolled him to the surgery room. 2 nurses were trying to pull me back and told me i had to wait, so I waited while pacing back and forth nervous as hell.
They pull you in to feel your heart beat, can you hear me screaming please don't leave me!
I heard lots of footsteps in the room, then I hear the heart monitor beeping which was a good sign since he's still breathing. This was one hell of a night, was this all my fault? Dif I do something wrong? Was I the cause of this? Thoughts were swarming in my mind rapidly. I couldn't loose Jeremy, like the last time when he took a squip. I was so furious, "JEREMY FUCKING HEERE DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" I yelled at the door, hoping he could hear me as I slouch down on the ground when sleep was starting to take over my body.
Hold on I still want you, come back I still need you.
I woke up when I heard footsteps, I looked up and saw a doctor coming my way. He looked exhausted, I began getting worried about the news he was going to tell me.
"He's breathing but he's not awake yet, you can goo see him" He said and I sighed at relief.
I thanked him and started walking to his room, as I opened the door I couldn't help but cry.
"Let me take your hand I'll make it right, I swear to love you all my life. Come back I still need you.
He was lying on the bed, some blood stains on his arms and clothes. I pulled up a chair beside the bed and sat down, taking his hand.
" M-M-Micheal?" I heard someone say, I look up and saw Jeremy awake. His eyes were so lifeless, the once beautiful ocean blue was replaced by dull ones. "JEREMY!!" I yelled, giving him a bear hug.
Jeremy's P.O.V
Michael lunges towards me, of course I hugged back. It felt like years since I've seen him. We stayed like that for a solid 20 seconds before he pulled back, upset that the warmth from the hug was gone. "Jeremy, why?..Why?why?why?" he asked, he's eyes pleading for information.
I couldn't help but cry, he gave me another reassuring hug. "I-I'm so so sorry! I C-c-couldn't take it anymore! I messed up everyone life, even my one! I J-just couldn't take this guilt anymore..." I said, crying hard on his shoulder. He sighed, "Jeremy, you know you could always talk to me and the others. We're here for you, and they forgive you for what you've done even me! I forgive you. If you die of course I would be devastated." Michael said, I hugged him tighter. I should have known that, even if I messed up, everyone still cared. I couldn't help but smile.
15 seconds passed, I felt my heart and my whole body burning up. My arms shaking as if it was shutting down. At that moment I knew I wasn't going to make it, that I can't hold on much longer and that I need to confess to Michael quick before entering a new world, a place that is called peace, where my problems won't bother me.
Michael's P.O.V
I felt Jeremy's hands go a little limp on my arms, I looked up and he was lying down and his eyeslids were trying to keep open. "M- Micheal, I-I-I have a-something to tell y-y-you" Jeremy said, his voice sounding like he was having a really hard time to speak. "What is it bud?" I asked..... "I D-d-Don't think I c-can make I-i-it." Jeremy said finally.
I couldn't believe what he was saying! "No Jeremy! You can make it! I-I know you can!" I kinda shouted. I called for the nurse, she walked in and once she saw the what was happening she ran outside calling for the doctors. I looked back at Jeremy, sobbing again. "Michael, I-its ok" he said.
"No, Jeremy, it's not ok! Your the only person in this God forsaken planet I really care about, don't you dare fucking leave me. I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU JEREMY HEERE!!! I LOVE YOU SO GOD DAMN MUCH!!!" I yelled and instantly stop, realizing what I just said.
I saw a tint of red forming on Jeremy's face as he leaned closer, our noses touching. "I l-l-love you to Michael M-Mell, and I'm gonna miss you s-so much." Jeremy whispered before leaning more and our lips touch (A/n: I legit squealed while writing this XD)
I felt my world go BOOM!!!
Did I kiss back?
OF FUCKING COURSE I KISSED BACK, LIKE WHO WOULDN'T FUCKING KISS BACK YOUR CRUSH!!!
It felt warm, like all the rest of the world isn't there. His lips were soft, not chapped. The kiss was full of love. And I wish this would last for internity.
I felt his lips not touching mine anymore and I whined, wanting the warmth back. As I opened my eyes, I saw him laying back on his bed, his eyes closed. I quickly check the heart monitor and all I saw... Was a flat green line. I couldn't cry, I ran out of tears so I just started shaking violently. When the doctors arrive, they were far too late. One of them wrote on the clip board:
Patient: Jeremy Heere
Time of death: 4:18 am
~Time skip brought to you by Michael's patches! ~
Still Michael's P.O.V
I don't want to let go, I no I'm not that strong. I just want to hear you, saying baby let's go home!
Its been 3 days since they buried Jeremy, and I'm a mess. I'm currently kneeling infront of Jeremy's grave, probably reading his tombstone for a million times.
Here lays
Jeremy Heere
Born: 2002- 2019
Age: 17
Cause of death: Suicide
A loving son
A good friend
This is so fucking hard for me, I can't let him go that easily. I'm not that strong to let the one person I love go. Through out the whole 3 days, I've felt my stomach full of dread.
If Jeremy would have made it I would have, ask him out, to be my boyfriend, hold him... Hell I would even marry him!
But no, all of those dreams were crushed right in front of me. I stood up and walked to my car, starting it and driving back home.
When I arrived, slowly walked up the stairs and into my bedroom. I opened the closet door, kneeling down to grab a box under my hanged clothes. I opened it to reveal a rope, giving me past memories.
~ Flashback from when they were 5~
My parents gave Jeremy and I a big rope, good for rope ladders (I don't know what the fuck their called) and for swings.
"Here you go Mikey! At least you don't need to use a thin rope that always breaks in half" my mom said, smiling down at me. I gave her a toothy smile and hug here leg, since my height was a little bit bellow her waist line.
"Thank you mommy!" I said happy. I turned to Jeremy.
"Come on Jewemy, let's pway tug o' war!" I told him, he nod in agreement and we ran outside on the front lawn.
~ End of flashback~
I chuckled sadly at the memory, wishing we were back in those happy times. I grabbed it and began to make a noose.

(Boom! A noose!)
Once I was done, I went downstairs to the basement and grabbed a chair, pulling it to the center of the room and stand on top of it. I tied the end of the rope to the hook on the ceiling, another memory popped in my mind.
~Flashback from when they were 15~
Jeremy and I were playing Apocalypse Of The Damned when all of the sudden the lights went out.
"Shit, its a broun out." I said, crawling and trying to find my way to near the T.V. I eventually found the lamp and turned it on, I saw Jeremy still sitting on the Bean bag slightly scared, I don't blame him since we just watched "IT" two nights ago in the theater.
"What? You scared? ~" I smirked
"S-shut up, it was a scary movie!" he whined.
I laughed, grabbing the chair and putting the lantern on the hook.
~ End of flashback~
I took the other end of the noose and wore it around my neck, making sure it's a little tight. A note already made in the table in the kitchen upstairs.
'I'm sorry mom, dad, I just want to see him again' I thought in my mind.
I took a deep breath and jumped of, feeling the pain burning in my neck. I hung for almost 5 minutes until darkness consumed me.
~Time skip brought to you by Mountain dew red! ~
Once again... Michael's P.O.V
I woke up laying on something white and fluffy, looks like clouds. I stood up and I felt something sticking on my back and a bright light above me. I turned my head to see white, fluffy wings sticking on my back and a bright glowing halo on top of my head. I tried using my wings but ended up crashing through a cloud.
7 minutes later (Get my reference 😏) I got used to the wings and I could fly more carefully. Then I knew the reason I was here for.... Jeremy
I started flying left, right, forward, backwards,calling Jeremy's name but I didn't see him yet. I stopped to catch mjy breath for a little while. I regained my energy and was about to fly somewhere else when I saw a figure far off in the distance. He was wearing black jeans, nikes shoes, chocolate brown curly hair, a stipped shirt and a navy blue cardigan. I recognized that cardigan.
"JEREMY!?!" I yelled to him. The boy turned around to face me, I was right, it was Jeremy.
He looked shocked to see me here, then he started to cry and fly towards me while I did the same. I gave him a a big hug, planting kisses all over his face. He looked up to me with his ocean blue eyes. "Michael, why now? Why must you end your life now?" he asked. "I told you, I can't live without you." I told him
~Time skip brought to you by my lazy self~
Mr. Heer's P.O.V
I put the potted flowers on Jeremy's grave like I do every day, but this time I also put one on Michael's grave. Mr and Ms Mells and I decided to burry Michael next to Jeremy, so that they may rest and peace together.
"I'll see you boys when my time is up" I said, a few tears ran down my face as I walked I my car and drove home.
Jeremy's P.O.V
Micheal and I watched my dad drove off, crying. We flew up to the clouds, a sad sigh escaped my lips. Micheal heard me, "Don't worry Jer-bear, we'll see him again" he reasured me and kissed my cheek. I felt happy now, knowing that Michael is by my side for the rest of my life. Knowing we'll always be a team.
I stood on my toes, since my is taller than me and kissed him, it was a happy, slow, loving one. He stepped back and held out his hand "Shall we go?" he asked. I nodded and took his hand, walking through the gates of Heaven.
_____________________________________
A/n: Hey guys! This is the end of the chapter
(I didn't check for spelling mistakes! XD)
I'm making a remix of this in th next chapter and thats were the star will begin! Hope you enjoyed! And stay tune for the next chapter!
Smile more!
~ MABIL ♥
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