Dhak Dhak Dhak

DhakDhak ,
My heart is hammering
My hands are numbly cold
As though they have been on
Ice for hours.
My legs are shaking ,
My mind void
All I can think of is
'Save Me' .

Im trapped ,
With no space to leave
Anxiety and Depression
Have embedded themselves
In Me.

I'm trapped
Within this dark inferno
With no windows to
Leave.

It is becoming suffocating
With each passing minute .
The smokes are covering my

Eyes ,

Choking my air passage
I'm flailing my hands in the air
for help ,
Yet no avail.

Dhak Dhak Dhak

When I reach
for the doors ,
They feel shut
As if they're jammed.

My happiness is like flowers
Pretty but short - termed
.

The rope of hope
That I have
Is Burnt.
  
Multiple what ifs

Start popping up ,

It's like they're involuntary .

They cover my eyes
Like blindfold ,

I'm no longer able to see .

My anxiety gets the
Worst of me.

I aimed to be water ,
Ended up being rock.

A rock ,
That breaks easily
A rock that can't withstand
waves or kicks.

I'm falling faster
Then the wreckages of ships .

I try coming out

But I don't know  swimming .

Chains and shackles
Bind my feet
Pulling me in ;

As I'm desperately trying
To lift
My body.

One day I'm up ,
One day I'm down
It's like I'm a floating bottle .

The sand beneath me
Is not pretty ,
It constantly pulls me in
Along with the Sea .

All my tries go waste :
As if I'm only meant to
Drown
And not
Come out

The world
Thinks that I'm okay ,
But I'm not .

I cannot show them
The shades of my mind

I have already caused enough
Problems.
Now no more

I try and try and try

I work
24/7 to not feel this way .
No one sees it
Or appreciates

I have become a shadow
A one , no one can see .

A shadow that is drowning
Blindfolded
With no lights to see .

Dhak Dhak Dhak

Help me ,
I don't want to be a wreckage
Anymore
For ,

I'm Done .

-Ridhima Joshi