Sequel to the poem - Under The Clouds

This day 18.7.20.
Exactly two years ago,
I was fighting the cold - never ending
Waves of the dark - spiraling sea.
I thought then that I could never
Come out.
That those dark clouds will haunt me
All my life.
I used to think that this is it – there is
No light at the end of my darkness in
2018.
Yet, now here I am - soaking in the
Light at the end of the tunnel.
My head is out and over the clouds.
I'm no longer the caged bird ;
I'm a bird that has reclaimed her wings
And is now soaring and singing
Happily.

It feels liberating to not be caught in the
Shackles of depression anymore.
2 years ago, my train had collapsed and
I went through the worst turmoil ever.
Now I'm 17.
17 and free from all the clouds, dark
Colours, seas, knives, haziness, thorns &
Pain.
I used to dream and write about being
Out and happy, and now I am.
To know that I got out of depression,
Anxiety and PTSD on my own without
Anyone's help feels fulfilling and is
One of my major achievements till date.

I am a foundation of strength.
I used to pray that my rope of hope
Shouldn't burn and it didn't.
My rope of hope coupled with my
Efforts and strength to push through
Got me out.
Every day, one step at a time;
Continuous process of building &
Growing despite the ups and downs
Got me through.
From a caterpillar, I am now a
Butterfly full of optimism.

I'm aware of my potential and
I believe in myself.
I know the capabilities of my mind,
Now that I'm no longer drowning In
Dark red - blue sea.
My efforts bore fruits.

My 15yr old self is proud of my 17 yr
Old self.
To see me getting my first light and
Enjoying every moment of it.
I'm living life.
I'm full of merry and prosperity.
I'm living and not just existing to the
Contrary of the great '18.
I'm aware I still have a tall ladder of
Healing to climb.
And that journey never stops.
But for now I'm content with where
My mental state of mind is :
Growing, prospering, flourishing,
Blooming, living ;
Laughing, having fun, brimming full of
Positivity and dancing in a wonderland
Makes me happy.
My mind is a pacified ocean of
Potential and capabilities and I know
It's in me to achieve it.

I'm over the clouds
And knowing that they'll not come back
You'll find me dancing in the rain.
Smiling and laughing whilst climbing
The steps of life.

I'm proud of myself and I'm so happy to see where I am now and what I have achieved. I have a long way to go yet knowing that I came out of all that on my own without anyone's help is the greatest feeling.
I got myself.

-Ridhima Joshi