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If you cannot find your way out of the darkness, I will sit there with you and show you the stars.
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May 21, 2019
Amy's POV

Almost three months had passed since I came to Korea, and on this particular Saturday, I woke up feeling exhausted since Jay and I stayed up super late the previous night, binge watching a few episodes of a drama. Jay was still sleeping, and I had to literally drag myself out of bed.

I absolutely didn't enjoy going to work on Saturdays since Jay was relaxing at home. But I had no choice, and there were usually not many patients on Saturdays—one or two at the most. I had a hard time getting ready for work and slept on the way in the taxi, the hot and sunny May day making it worse for me.

However, I reached on time and went straight to my consulting room. At the far end of the corridor, I spotted two tall men sitting outside my room. They seemed to have come earlier and were waiting for me. I couldn't see their faces since they wore masks, and one of them had a bucket hat on. Walking past them, and straight into my room, I called up the floor manager.

"Are there any patients here?"

"Yes, Doctor. There's one. Male, 25yrs." He informed me, confirming that the two men were here together.

"Has he been waiting for long?"

"No, he came here just a while before you arrived."

"Alright, please send the patient in five minutes," I said and ended the call.

In a few minutes, I settled down and my door clicked open, and the man with the mask and a bucket hat walked in, softly closing the door behind him.

He was tall and slim-built, and he wore a T-shirt with an open cardigan and loose trousers. I couldn't see his eyes clearly since his bangs were obscuring the parts of his face that his mask didn't cover. Sending a smile his way, I motioned for him to take a seat opposite to me.

I lowered my eyes to my notebook and flipped the pages while the man occupied his seat. Raising my gaze, I saw him as he took off his mask and hat and ran his fingers through his hair, moving the bangs away from his face.

I felt as if a truck just ran over me. My eyeballs almost popped out of their sockets and my jaw literally dropped to the floor. Luckily, these reactions were for just a flash second before the eyes of the man in front of me lifted to meet mine. He smiled and greeted me.

Help I need to survive!! My lungs forgot how to breathe!!

"Hello, doctor," his deep voice instantly sent electric current sensations down my spine, giving me goosebumps all over.

"H-hello... you're Kim Taehyung, right?" My words stumbled out, sounding shaky.

"Yeah, I am," he chuckled, flipping his fluffy, jet black hair again.

I felt as if I had to pinch myself because I just couldn't believe what was going on. My all-time top favorite k-drama and movie actor and singer, the Superstar of Korea, Kim Taehyung, was sitting right in front of me, and I was his counselor.

This must be a dream.

He did not have a spot of makeup on his face and yet looked so Godly. His skin was not as flawless as seen in pictures, but still, I would swap my soul for such skin.

Taehyung's sharp jawline looked like it could slice me into two. He had a beautiful golden tan, a small face, and his facial features were so perfect and gorgeously set. Everything about him was breathtakingly beautiful.

I felt as if I was flying high in the sky, but there was an unsettling, unmissable gloominess in his attractive eyes that were framed by beautiful long lashes.

"Doctor?" Taehyung's deep voice interrupted my daydream.

"Oh... umm... Sorry. I-I was a little surprised," I was low-key embarrassing myself.

"Surprised?" He chuckled shyly; an adorable blush resting on his prominent cheeks.

"Yeah. I can't believe that I'm seeing you. Sorry. Don't get me wrong." I tried to sound as normal as possible even though my heart was literally beating out of my chest.

I need to stop unleashing my inner fangirl now! Amy, stop staring and embarrassing yourself NOW!

He smiled softly—the smile that literally melted my heart.

THANK GOD AND THANK MY STARS I CAME TO WORK TODAY!!!!

I was internally screaming!!

"How may I call you?" I was calming myself by counting inside my mind.

"Just call me Taehyung," he said calmly, and I almost had a heart attack, unable to get a grip over myself each time I heard his serene voice.

"Okay, Taehyung. So, what brings you here? You can speak freely, and I will listen to everything. I'm here to help you." My heart still skipped a beat every time I saw his eyes, which I couldn't look away from.

"I don't know where to start. But I am not able to sleep well recently," he spoke softly, his lips gathering into a worried pout.

"Okay," I nodded, leaning forward and resting my elbows on the table.

Taehyung continued,
"I have been having a lot of things on my mind. I am beginning to doubt myself and where I am right now. And my shooting schedules have also been pretty packed recently. I hardly have any free time."

I nodded in understanding, humming in response.

"I don't know if being a superstar is what I really wanted in life. Work feels like a chore. I am not able to enjoy life and work as I used to." His face grew sadder with each word he spoke.

I listened to him keenly without interrupting his flow.

"I am a very laid-back person, and this tiring and hectic lifestyle and excessive travel and all the attention seems too overwhelming for me," Taehyung moved his beautiful, slender fingers a bit as he spoke.

"I feel like stopping everything and running away from the limelight, but I just can't do it. My agency has just extended my work contract for seven more years, and it is the saddest thing that has happened to me in recent times," he sounded completely distraught, and the look in his eyes—like that of a lost puppy—made my heart wrench.

What??? Korea's national treasure is going through a burnout?

Despite my inference, I maintained eye contact and listened to him patiently yet nervously fiddling with my pen.

"I feel as though I'm missing out on a lot in life because of my work. My friends from years back are not so close to me anymore, and I feel so depressed many times. I don't know what to do. I spoke about this to a close friend, and he suggested that I get some professional help, and that's why I'm here," he finished speaking and looked at me with tired and worried eyes; his beautiful fingers intertwined and resting on the table between us.

I breathed out and nodded softly.
"Okay, Taehyung. Approximately, for how long have you been feeling this way?"

"Almost more than eight months now. And it's not like this every day. But I feel off-colour on most days," he responded sadly.

I nodded again and continued quizzing him.
"Do you find yourself less interested in work itself? Or do you prefer to do it in a specific setup?"

Taehyung's eyes slowly lifted from the desk to the ceiling, his eyebrows raising as well in contemplation, and then he spoke in a serious, deep tone.
"Umm... I love to do what I am good at. Acting, art, photography, whatever be it. I love singing and listening to music too, but I like it more when I'm doing those things on my own at my own pace. Working in a tight schedule makes me feel suffocated and exhausted."

"Do you feel so because you have stricter timelines at work?" I asked him.

He shrugged a bit and nodded a few times.
"Mmm... maybe. When I work according to my own timelines, I do only what I can in a day or week. I am more relaxed that way."

Agreeing to his opinion, I continued,
"Yeah... that's true. What is your bedtime routine?"

"I have my dinner, take a shower, lay down on my bed and get lost in my thoughts or stare at the wall until I fall asleep. But it usually takes a few hours." Taehyung educated me, and I agreed, nodding.

"Do you find yourself losing your cool often? As in, do you get angry?"

"Of late, I'm noticing that I'm grumpier than usual. I don't show my anger on others, but it is more of a frustration with how I feel and how helpless I am," the miserable tone of his voice was making me sad.

I exhaled, giving him an understanding nod.
"I can feel your situation. Did you discuss this with anyone from your workplace?"

Taehyung shook his head lightly, delicately raking his long fingers through his fluffy hair.
"Not yet, but I think they might be worried about me. I'm not sure though. I really don't want to be a bother to them because I'm not a single entity anymore. We're always a team, be it in a movie or a drama...and whatever I do affects all of us."

I hummed in agreement, diligently making note of all his concerns and habits in my notebook.

"What are your food habits like? Have you been into any specific food recently?"

"I usually eat bland or sweet foods since I can't take spicy foods. I'm not particularly into one type of food. I eat anything if it's edible," he educated me about his food habits.

"Have you formed any other habits recently? Hoping to feel better, maybe..." I asked the routine question, and Taehyung's eyes shot up at me, and he looked away immediately, awkwardly clearing his throat and hesitating to speak.

Sensing his discomfort and the change in the atmosphere prevailing within my room, I tried to get him to ease out.
"It's okay to tell me, Taehyung. Whatever we speak here will remain within these walls only, and my room doesn't have a camera."

He looked around from his seat and still hesitated to speak, and he was clearly getting a bit nervous too, biting his lips from time to time.

"Okay, relax. You can tell me when you're comfortable around me. There's no hurry," smiling, I reassured him and offered him a bottle of water.

He drank from it and seemed to relax a bit.

I breathed out and proceeded to explain things to him.
"Taehyung, so what you are experiencing now is called occupational burnout. It is not uncommon. Many people who work all year and tend to do a lot of repetitive work will experience this at some point in their lives. Each person handles it and shows it differently."

Taehyung looked at me and listened with his head slightly tilted, and his eyebrows furrowed in intense concentration.

I continued elaborating his condition.
"It most commonly occurs around the 6- or 7-year mark. It could happen in a marriage, with motherhood, with a job or anything else for that matter. Burnout is real. It is when you question yourself and your own motives, and your life choices, and you question your current life stand and everything else around you now."

Taehyung nodded in agreement, swiping his tongue over his lips from time to time.

Despite his overpowering presence, I continued explaining calmly,
"The endless questions in your mind will not let you fall asleep even when you know you should be sleeping. You will feel like everyone around you looks happier while you're being miserable. And this sleeplessness will make you grumpier the next day and cloud your thoughts. Which will again make you overthink and disturb your sleep. So, it is like an endless, vicious cycle," I explained with animated hand movements.

"Exactly..." He agreed, bobbing his head briskly.

Letting out a small smile, I confirmed my inference.
"Yeah... so what you are experiencing is typical occupational burnout, and the first step is to accept it. It is not a fault or a flaw. It is a phase."

Taehyung hung his head and looked down at his hands, and then he hesitantly nodded a few times as though he was lost in thought.

"Taehyung, you need to accept and embrace the issue at hand. Together we will work out a way for you to feel better. Let's do this." Saying so, I extended my hand out for him.

Taehyung's eyes lifted to meet mine, and after a few seconds he touched my hand with his baby soft hands and held it gently.

My heart was about to explode. However, I survived that first tactile attack.

I spoke to him while still holding his hand gently,
"We will work our way out and believe that brighter days lay ahead of us. Okay?" I smiled at him.

He was quiet for a few seconds, and then his grip on my hand tightened, and he nodded.
"Yes, doctor. I accept the fact that I am having a burnout. I will try my best and work with you to feel better."

Smiling, I withdrew my hand from his and kept both my hands linked on the top of the table.

I wanted to kiss my own hand right then, but it would have been too embarrassing.

"That's great, Taehyung. We will first work on your sleep pattern if your sleep is really much disrupted, so much to the extent of disturbing your daily life activities. I can suggest some calming exercises for you to try before bedtime," I suggested, and he agreed with a hum.

"I definitely need that," Taehyung replied without delay.

I demonstrated some calming breathing exercises and self-massage techniques to Taehyung, and he observed carefully.

"I also suggest that you try to maintain a standard time for bed. Say, any time between 9 pm and 11 pm. Not later than that."

"Okay... I really have to try hard for that," he chuckled, letting his head drop and running his fingers through the thicket of his soft hair once again.

"Don't pressure yourself. Just eat a good dinner and do some calming exercises and your bedtime routines. Lay down in bed with dim lights and without any screens and try, okay?" I replied with a smile, unable to move my eyes away from his ethereal face.

"Sounds good, doctor. I will try starting tonight," he smiled, and I could see his sturdy shoulders relaxing as he leaned back in his seat.

"That's great. Remember that consistency is the key."

"I will," he smiled again, making my words get tangled inside my throat.

I breathed out my nervousness and returned his smile.

"Great! And about your future sessions, we will not have fixed scheduled sessions since on the day of the scheduled session you might not feel so down. So, let's leave it an open-ended appointment. You can discuss with me whenever you feel like it. I'm available on my work number and email on all days," I elaborated further, handing him my business card with my work contact details printed on it.

Taehyung got it, glanced at it, and slid it inside his trouser pocket.
"Thank you, Doctor Amy. I feel a little lighter already. You will surely find me calling or emailing you often. Please don't mind the trouble. I really want to feel better," he spoke with a sweet smile, his eyes gleaming with eagerness.

I couldn't help but smile at his cuteness.
"I would be more than glad to help you. Absolutely, no trouble for me," I smiled and reassured him.

Taehyung got up from his chair and bowed to me.
"Thank you, doctor. I will see you some other time."

"Sure. Take care," I smiled, rising from my chair.

He picked up his things, wore his mask and hat and turned around and bowed to me once again. I returned his gestures, and with that, he opened the door and walked out, closing the door behind him thereafter.

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I don't know how she survived that!