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-- MUGGLE PUB

They had a celebration for their victories that very same weekend- or as was known to the majority of the Order, victory. Only a handful of people knew about the horcrux hunt that had nearly taken both Gideon and Carina's lives. But as it turned out, their smokescreen mission turned out to be a huge success, and the Order's abrupt attack on the Greengrass gala had scared off most of Voldemort's undecided supporters and funders.

Sirius insisted they get together to celebrate and invited his supervisors to their little get-together. After all, they had a lot to celebrate. Not only was the mission as a whole a success, but it had also been Alice's first major operation as the aurors' charms expert. She'd been partnered with Fabian because he had much more experience while she was still new, and she wasn't allowed to partner with her husband. Nonetheless, the seasoned wizard learned very quickly that the little newbie had tricks up her sleeve. Alice thought very differently from the rest of the aurors because she primarily had a charms background. While aurors might typically attempt to blast their way through or choke out an operation, Alice was quick with innovative solutions and diversions.

"I swear, we were about to be found out just as we were securing the perimeter, and this one," Fabian pointed to Alice, "decides to charm napkins into singing birds to put on a show. Obviously, the hosts didn't want to admit they hadn't known- foolish snobs- and just claimed it was part of the program!"

"To Alice! The best thing to happen to your department!" Lily toasted, smiling proudly at her best friend.

"To Alice!" Everyone echoed.

Celebrating at muggle pubs was a new habit of theirs. With the war picking up, Moody had warned them to not gather in groups in public places because it could compromise their covers and put them at risk. While Carina's year of friends had an excuse to gather anyway, any celebrations extending to the Prewetts or other Order members were just implausible.

It was actually Lily who suggested they switch to muggle pubs, randomly chosen the hour before they were meant to meet. The system had been working really well, and it was a wonder what a muffling charm could do even in public places. They were able to smoothly blend into the crowds.

"Where were you during the mission?" Sirius asked Carina curiously. "I was trying to find you, but I couldn't."

"I don't do combat missions, you know what," Carina rolled her eyes.

She glanced across the table and caught Gideon's gaze just as he raised an eyebrow. Both their minds flashed back to the mission they'd been on. Carina shrugged humbly as Gideon gave her a look that said, yeah, right. But Carina knew herself- their success had not been due to her skill or finesse but rather her sheer will to survive.

"Your debriefs are like the group's pre-mission blessing," Frank added. "I think we all missed that."

"See, Carina?" Fabian said gleefully. "We'll recruit you to our department, yet."

"Keep on dreaming, Prewett," Carina smiled indulgently.

While half their group was very active during missions as trained aurors, the other half was not. James and Remus had been allowed on this particular mission as back-up, but it didn't seem like they saw much of the action from their silence. Peter hadn't even been on the mission as his primary role was surveillance within the ministry. He kept his ear to the ground and eyes sharp for any subtle changes in power or staffing. And Lily, who was only halfway through her healer training, was not yet qualified enough to be the primary mediwitch for mission support. Though, she would be allowed to start shadowing as medical support for missions soon. Alice and Carina both knew how excited she was to begin applying her knowledge.

"Okay! Game of the night," Sirius announced excitedly, pulling a flask out of his coat. "Truth or dare!"

"I know you're all schoolchildren," Gideon rolled his eyes. "But really?"

"Ah ah ah," Sirius wagged his finger comically. "My handy concoction is dosed with diluted veritaserum. So it'll be your unfiltered truth no matter what the question! That ought to keep things interesting."

"Is that legal?" Remus asked suspiciously.

"If you all take it willingly, yes," Sirius argued.

"What the heck, I'm down!" James agreed. It had been a while since they'd let loose and just had good old-fashioned fun- immature as it may be. They needed a night off from adulting.

Within a minute, everyone had a glass of their preferred drink dosed with a healthy dash of Sirius's concoction. They agreed that they would sip before every truth. Gideon and Fabian agreed with faux reluctance, insisting they were much too old for this. Carina could tell they were really just having a blast. And as tough as they were on Frank, Sirius, and Alice, they also cared for them deeply. Sirius was practically in love with the Prewetts and idolized them in a way that made everyone else smile. James, Remus, and Peter weren't surprised by Sirius's plans- they'd been accustomed to their group shenanigans since the first year. And Alice insisted it would be a blast, giving Lily and Carina little choice but to join in.

The game didn't have a tame start- Sirius certainly saw to that.

Frank picked truth, and Sirius asked him to reveal a secret fantasy. The young man stumbled over his words trying to resist the veritaserum as he painted a very vivid picture of Alice and him somewhere in his family's classic English garden. There was more than one blushing face at the table by the time he'd finished, Alice's being the brightest of them all.

"You'll pay for that," she promised Sirius vengefully.

Remus wearily picked truth. "Merlin knows how much worse a dare would be," he tried to logic.

James grinned and asked him what the craziest prank he came up with at Hogwarts was. Remus sighed as he revealed an elaborate scheme that had rendered all the prefects with chipmunk voices for an entire week.

"I thought James and Sirius were behind that!" Lily cried in surprise. "I gave them 2 weeks of detention for it!"

"I know," James smirked. "Just setting the record straight."

"How many rules did you break?" Carina asked curiously. Remus didn't seem like the most trouble making out the lot of them. But he clearly had a devious streak.

Remus opened his mouth automatically from the lingering influence of the veritaserum before he clapped a hand over it. "Nope!" He said forcefully. "I've already taken my turn."

Peter was the first brave soul to take a dare. Alice dared him to go flirt with the girl at the bar who kept glancing at him. To all their surprise, their conversation kept going. A few turns later, Peter was striding out of the bar with the cheerful muggle as they chatted animatedly.

"Lucky sod," Sirius grumbled.

"You have a girlfriend at home," Remus reminded him.

"She's been traveling for a project," Sirius groaned.

Lily took a dare. Carina made Alice charm her hair into a mane of tight yellow-blonde curls in mullet style cut in the pub's bathroom. After all, it was the raging muggle fashion of the decade. When Lily walked out of the bathroom, her lack of signature ginger locks replaced with ramen hair left everyone in fits. Carina dared her to keep the style for the remainder of the night, and if anyone asked, she'd have to say she was trying out something new.

Lily winced at the color. Alice couldn't stop laughing. Even James choked back a laugh behind his pint of beer.

And so on and on they went. Alice was dared to do a cockney accent for the rest of the game, which left everyone at the table wheezing in laughter. Fabian revealed he once dropped his baby nephew on his head and told no one. Gideon blurted out that he'd once been a mega-fan of the Weird Sisters.

When it was James's turn, he surprisingly chose truth.

"What's a secret you've never told anyone?" Lily asked playfully.

He seemed to think about it for a second. The veritaserum urged his mouth open, and there was a brief flash of panic in his eyes. He covered it quickly with a laugh, stalling his own speech.

"I kept sneaking in to sleep in my parents' bed until I was 5," he said eventually.

"Awww, how cute," Lily laughed.

Everyone else laughed in good nature. "No reason to be embarrassed," Gideon said. "Fabian wet the bed up until 6 years old!"

"Hey, you're the one who breastfed until he was 3!" He fired back.

The entire table roared with laughter as they spilled memories left and right, making fools of themselves with the occasional dare. After the first hour, most of them were rather tipsy. Carina had chosen truths and dares for her previous few turns and eventually settled on truth this time.

"Have you ever loved anyone, and if so, who?" Gideon asked her.

"Yeah," Carina revealed softly.

Her girlfriends' heads snapped towards her in surprise. They hadn't known she'd even dated anyone seriously. She was asked to Hogsmeade all the time, and Carina had a generous policy of giving most people at least one chance. So they knew she'd had no shortage of admirers over the years. But they'd never seen Carina interested enough to pursue anything past a third or fourth date. In fact, the longest they'd seen Carina with anyone was James Potter, a reminder which brought both witches anxiety.

"Oh god," Carina shook her head bashfully, feeling the influence of the veritaserum urge her response forward. "This wasn't how I wanted to tell you all, but really I should've told you a while ago."

"You're killing me," Alice exclaimed. She almost hoped it wasn't James- it would be too sad if it was. "Who is it?"

"Lucius Malfoy."

"WHAT?" Alice shrieked. That was definitely not what she'd expected. That wasn't even on her radar.

Carina winced, as did Sirius and James. Though, to be fair, she didn't know if their wince was from disgust or as a response to Alice's shriek. Fabian and Gideon remained quiet but assessed her with surprise. She didn't even want to meet their eyes. It was well known that Malfoy was now a Death Eater, and she couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed.

"It was a long time ago," she hastened to fill in. "We dated most of our fifth year, and we'd ended things by the end of the term."

"W-what? How? What'd you see in him?" Lily asked curiously.

"He wasn't bigoted back then," Carina told them earnestly. "I ended it as soon as his father started really drilling that shite into him. But when I knew him, he was... confident, smart. He challenged me. We had a fun dynamic."

"And you loved him?" Fabian asked curiously with no judgment in his gaze.

"We were kids," Carina shrugged. "Yes, I did love him. But our love was also very innocent and puppy-like. It obviously didn't last the problems of life and this war."

The table nodded in silent acceptance.

"Well, good for you!" Everyone whirled to Alice in surprise- even Carina. "What? He's bloody fit. At least you can treasure the memories."

They all ended up laughing in amusement at Alice's exuberance.

"I, for one, can't understand how you didn't possibly fall for James when you two had your charade," Lily spoke up, glancing at James adoringly.

Carina's first instinct was to smile at the besotted expression on Lily's face. She knew she'd only meant to compliment her husband. But Carina had a sinking feeling in her stomach as she felt the influence of the lingering veritaserum still coursing through her body. She tried to choke back her bodily response, but it was as effective as trying to stop the tide of a tsunami.

"But I did."

The entire table fell silent.

They all paused as they processed the words Carina had just blurted out. Sirius and Remus were staring at her with sympathetic horror, knowing the witch had not meant to say that. Alice and Frank stared at their friend in concern. Frank knew about Alice's suspicions about the whole 7th-year debacle, but they'd never had any proof. Alice knew to the depths of her soul that whatever James and Carina had back in the day, however short-lived, was still real. But it took the witch a second to realize that Carina hadn't meant to say it aloud but was rather forced to because of the veritaserum.

James looked absolutely dumbfounded, staring at Carina with his mouth ready to catch flies. Lily turned back to her friend in stricken astonishment.

The silence at the table quickly became suffocating.

Carina was staring at her hands in her lap.

"W-wh-"

Before Lily could even string together a coherent thought, much less a coherent sentence, Carina was already shooting out of her chair. She beelined for the exit, leaving her coat and belongings behind. The air in the pub was suddenly too thick, and Carina couldn't breathe.

She burst out into the cool night air, the biting breeze and the buzzing of London traffic helping her center herself. She walked blindly down the street, trying to catch her breath and calm her racing heart.

How could she say that? What the bloody fuck?

If there was one thing Carina absolutely despised, it was drama. And this was precisely the sort of thing she'd frown upon even her own friends for- unnecessarily instigating situations that meant drama. Sure, it had been under the influence of the bloody veritaserum, but that was worse! She couldn't brush it aside or laugh it off as a joke because they all knew. Lily and James were married now. The only thing her inadvertent confession could possibly do at this point was to rip two of Carina's dearest friends from her. And she wouldn't even blame them! After all, it was hardly appropriate. And all of a sudden, those same fears she'd had back when all this went down came rushing back to her. Only now, it was much, much worse. Now Carina and Lily had an even tighter bond developed over the past year post-Hogwarts. Losing James could mean losing the rest of the marauders, knowing how closely knit they all were.

"Carina! CARINA!"

The frenzied witch was pulled to a stop and whirled around. She came face to face with one of her friends, who'd become part of her makeshift family over the years. Warm green eyes and a friendly splattering of freckles greeted her. Only, her signature hair was replaced by those absurd yellow curls. The sight of Lily with her comical hair only sent Carina into a panicked response.

Her instinct to laugh at the hair bubbled to the surface. But right as it emerged, it combined with her fears and anxieties about this whole fiasco. The result? Carina turned into a sobbing, laughing mess in front of Lily right there on the streets of London.

"Oh my god!" Lily exclaimed, absolutely stricken in the face of Carina's breakdown. She engulfed the shaking witch in a tight hug. Lily always had the best hugs- as if she could hold you together through sheer will alone. "You're okay. I promise you're okay."

Carina took shuddering breaths, calming herself down with every inhale and exhale. The comfort of Lily's embrace and perfume reminded her of days in Gryffindor Tower idly wasting Sundays with the girls. She pulled herself together, slowly extracting herself from Lily's embrace.

"It's not true," Carina blurted out immediately.

Lily grimaced, eyes falling to the pavement.

"I mean- It is true, but not anymore!" Carina insisted desperately. "I swear it was the veritaserum- I never meant to say that aloud. I'm so sorry, Lily."

Lily looked up in shock, shaking her head.

"You're sorry? You have absolutely no reason to be sorry!" She argued vehemently. "I'm sorry. God, I'm so, so sorry." And suddenly, Lily was the one tearing up as Carina watched her in horror.

"Why are you-" Carina was so confused.

"I- I thought it was too good to be true," Lily said quietly, afraid her voice would break if she spoke any louder. "When James revealed it was all one big elaborate plan just to get me to fall for him, I thought it was too good to be true. I think Alice always knew- even back then. She always kept talking about how you two were perfect for each other. And you know the worst part? I thought so too!"

Carina shook her head slowly, mostly in confusion. Lily's own turmoil was bubbling to the surface, the sight of which completely surprised Carina.

"After all, you were the one who brought out the side of James I really fell for anyway," Lily pointed out.

"He's always been like that," Carina pointed out firmly. "You were just the only person he wanted to share that with, so you didn't see it until you let him in."

"But he shared that with you, too," Lily pointed out.

"It was fake-"

"It wasn't," Lily shook her head. Her bright green eyes met Carina's, regret and grief reflected in them. "Alice was right- you can't fake that. And I was so quick to believe the lie because I wanted so desperately for it to be true. Because I knew that if either of you had begun to feel something for the other, I could never start dating James. So I believed you. Because I wanted to. And I think that might be the most selfish thing I've ever done."

Carina sighed deeply. "It doesn't matter," she finally said calmly.

"How can it not matter?" Lily cried. "I got in between you two!"

"No. You didn't."

"Carina-"

"Lily! I promise you, it was not your fault. Do you want to know how I saw that year? James asked me to be his fake girlfriend to make you jealous. And especially those first few weeks, he'd be talking about you non-stop. Even after he asked me to the ball, the first thing he said after we were out of eyesight was if I'd noticed your reaction. It was always about you. I think... I think there was a point when James felt discouraged. I think he was losing hope you'd ever see him like that."

Lily listened attentively.

"And yes, there was a brief window of time when we bonded and got closer. It happened after he learned about Malfoy because he and his Slytherin goonies started harassing me that year. That's when all the boys got a little overprotective of me. And yes, I developed a small crush. I'd always been fond of James- he's always been a good friend. But I guess the line between pretend dating and friendly comfort got confusing, so yes, I developed a crush."

Lily looked absolutely stricken.

"But Lily," Carina emphasized meaningfully. "I don't think you understand that it meant next to nothing compared to the years he'd spent pining over you. The years that he's genuinely been head over heels for you."

"It didn't mean nothing," Lily responded weakly.

"Maybe not nothing," Carina agreed honestly. "But it was a crush- a potential for something. Remember that I've actually been in love before. It wasn't even that."

Yet, Lily thought definitively.

"So yes, I lied to you and told you it was all fake because there was no point in complicating it. Merlin, you should've seen James the night I told him we should come clean! He was so excited! All because he finally believed you returned his feelings."

Lily still looked uncertain.

"Stop worrying!" Carina said firmly. "It's in the past. Truly. Neither of us should have to feel guilty."

Lily smiled at Carina's prompting. "I won't if you won't?"

"Deal," Carina agreed, pulling Lily in for another hug.

But this time, it was Lily who drew comfort from Carina. Because for the first time, her little soap bubble had shattered, and there seemed to be no way to put it back together. The young witch feared that she'd only set herself up for failure. Carina might insist it's all in the past, and for her, it might be. But she'd seen the look of pure astonishment on James's face tonight. If he'd also had a crush on Carina back then, he certainly never knew she returned the sentiment. Carina's words echoed in Lily's mind. Potential for something. Potential. James and Carina certainly had that. Alice was certain of it back then.

And while Lily was flattered and reassured by Carina's insistence that James was head over heels for her, it wasn't enough. He hadn't truly known her until they started dating- he just loved the image of her, the person he thought she was. The first few months they dated was very much a process of getting to truly know each other. It reminded her very starkly of the reality that James's feelings for her up until the seventh year was also a mere crush. Perhaps a potent and slightly obsessive crush, but a crush nonetheless. He didn't know her well enough to be in love with her. Which meant, at that point when they started dating, he could have just as likely grown deeper feelings for Carina. The smallest change could've led to a completely different life for all of them. And what scared Lily the most was that James might've been better off with Carina. If only he'd known back then how she felt about him.

But it was far too late now. Lily wondered how her young adult life had fast-tracked so much. It was far, far too late.

"Oy!" Alice yelled down the street, running over to the two witches who raised their heads. "Why am I not a part of this?"

Lily and Carina chuckled as Alice exuberantly threw herself into the group hug. They all sighed as they embraced.

Alice sighed in relief- grateful her friends had worked things out.

Carina sighed in peace- feeling more secure about her relationships now than in the past year.

But Lily sighed in weariness- anxious that her willful ignorance had helped her create her future on a house of cards doomed to eventually collapse.

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-- BACK IN THE PUB

Carina was the first to shoot out of her chair, hastily rushing out of the pub. Once she'd snapped herself out of her stupor, Lily was quickly following her out.

The remaining group endured in awkward silence. Alice and Frank looked at each other with concern-filled gazes. Remus and Sirius glanced towards each other, worried by the look of shock on James's face, who had yet to compose himself. The Prewetts scanned the table of old friends, feeling uncomfortable.

"We should go," Fabian suggested, climbing to his feet.

"Yeah, it's been a long night. Lots to prepare for next week," Gideon added.

Alice and Frank nodded absentmindedly.

"We can take Carina's things," Fabian offered. "We'll probably see her the earliest out of all of you next week."

"What if she left her wand-" Alice began to ask, ruffling through Carina's things.

"She keeps her wand in an arm holster under her sleeve," Gideon supplied confidently.

Alice skimmed through her things anyway, nodding in confirmation. She handed Carina's abandoned coat and purse to Fabian. "Thank you."

"Not a problem," Fabian said with a small, uncomfortable smile.

This entire situation was uncomfortable. And frankly, they just wanted to leave it as soon as possible. They left through the back door to the alley to apparate away. Soon after, Alice excused herself, following the girls' path out the front door.

The uncomfortable silence continued for another minute before James finally spoke.

"H-how in the world... She never said anything!"

Sirius looked at him pitifully while Remus averted his gaze. "Mate... she didn't have to. We knew anyway."

James's head snapped up, his expression suddenly much more alert compared to the stunned frozenness he'd exhibited moments ago. His eyes suddenly filled with fire.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He demanded.

"Would it have changed anything?" Sirius asked knowingly.

James snapped his mouth shut, his jaw clenching to the point of pain. For the first time ever, he felt truly and genuinely angry with his friends- his best mates! He was too wound up and overwhelmed to speak, afraid that whatever came out of his mouth would be something he couldn't take back. He climbed to his feet stiffly, heading towards the back exit. The door barely shut behind him in the alley before they heard the sharp crack of disapparation. A few muggles glanced around, one of them asking if it was meant to storm today.

Remus and Sirius shared an inexplicable look.

"Should we have told him?"

The uncertainty in Remus's voice was the most damning end to the disastrous night.

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