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The cab was smooth and silent. The dark outside was a comfort, not only because it pushed away a lot of the heat from the day, but also because I felt hidden. It was like it was just Namjoon and I, and a driver which we were used to. We weren't home, and it added to feeling like an unfamiliar universe we had inhabited.

Both pairs of eyes were glancing out opposite sides of the window as buildings whirled past as the lights inside were few, but still gave hints of where people were already awake.

"Where was the destination you two were headed to?" the cab driver asked in English.

"The Gran Torre Santiago," Namjoon said before eying me.

"That's a beautiful tower there. It's an interesting time to go. I believe the mall doesn't open until six this morning, but the viewing tower is open at five."

"Five?" Namjoon repeated. He turned to me and spoke in Korean, "We have a while before it's five. What if we made the trip up to the mountains first to watch the sunset?"

I nodded. "I'm fine with anything, Joon. As long as we come back to the tower after."

"Oh we will." He turned back to the driver. "What locations do you have for a place where we could watch the sunrise? In the Andes Mountains?"

"There's an observatory up there, and the grounds are always open. How does that sound?"

"That sounds alright. Thank you."

"It'll be about a thirty minute ride, give or take."

"That'll get us to the tower by the time it can open, after the way there and back. Thanks."

After a few minutes of watching the city pass by with shining eyes, Namjoon handed me a wireless earbud so I could listen to what he had been. The first song that played was one I hadn't heard before, and I realized why after a few seconds. His voice rapped along to the track.

"Joon, what's this for?"

"You heard me talking about wanting to release a mixtape sometime soon, right?"

My eyes widened. "Yeah, I heard you talking about it with Hoseok the other night. Because Hobi wants to release his in a year."

"He sure does. And kid, I want to too."

"In a year? Joon, how much do you have completed already?"

"Just a track here and there. I've had a little bit of help." The song in my ear played my brother rapping about our home. Seoul.

"If love and hate mean the same thing, I love you Seoul. If love and hate mean the same thing, I hate you Seoul."

"Honne produced Seoul. And I'm working with NELL for another called everythinggoes."

"So why haven't you told us about it yet?"

"Because, like I said," he laughed, "it'll be another year before it's ready. I want to have at least five tracks done and I'm still writing and producing."

"Woah." I turned and looked out the window. "An album." I looked back at him. "Could you and Yoongi give me another music production lesson sometime soon?"

"What for?"

"Well to learn more, of course."

"There's more to learn?"

"Yeah, duh, Hoseok and Yoongi are always telling me that there's always more to learn about music."

"I thought we agreed you'd figure out your MIDI to its full potential first. Once you do that, we'll buy you another one and you can learn how to use it."

I pouted lightly to myself. "Well I was borrowing Hoseok-oppa's the other night and it was so nice-"

"Yeah, it's really nice. It's also really expensive."

"Oh, I know, but I'm really anxious to learn how to use it soon-"

"We agreed you'd have to learn how to use yours first. We're willing to help fund you, but not until you're ready. You've got to show us you're dedicated enough."

"What's dedicated enough? Making a whole album? I doubt even you did that when you were fou-fifteen."

His voice softened. "It's not exactly about dedication, either. We know you are. It's just expensive."

Mine lowered to match his. "Yeah, I know. That's why I thought I'd buy it myself. That's what I was going to suggest."

Namjoon was quiet for a moment. "Where are you going to get that type of money?"

I pursed my lips. "I'll tell you when we get to the observatory."

He nodded, and we ended the conversation at that. Seoul was playing again.

I turned on my phone and lowered the brightness. Slanting my phone slightly to the side so it wasn't facing Joon, I drew down my notification bar.

Gmail.com

BigHit Entertainment... Your audition papers are due...

Hi Su Kimmie,

Please respond to the head....

Swipe

We were dropped off at a large stone building. There were pavement paths everywhere, and large metal statues of planets and tools outside. The lights inside the observatory were dark, presumably because of the early morning time.

Namjoon paid the driver, and then turned to me as he drove off. "You sure it's not going to be too cold out here this morning?"

"I'm sure. Let's go sit down near the front." I pointed towards where the paved path led to the front of the building, where it was near a cliff that wasn't too big, but started a descent down the mountains.

It wasn't extremely warm, so when I shivered once or twice, I tried to clench my teeth. But my brother noticed, and took a step closer to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

I kind of wished Daehyun was with me. But even if he was, what was the difference?

He had someone else to love, now.

We slowed down as we neared the part where the arch of pavement reached its peak. Namjoon and I exchanged a glance, and then sat, shoulders brushing against each other which helped with the small bite of cold.

It was silent for a few moments as we surveyed the city. The Gran Torre Santiago was visible among the other skyscrapers and blocky buildings, and the long streets held cars moving like ants on a track.

I pulled out my phone. My fingers were shaking slightly, so I clamped my grip on the phone tighter.

I went to the files section of my phone and found it. I finished it a long, long time ago. Or maybe more like just a few months. But usually I was bursting at the seams when I finished a song, especially when it was one as good as this one. But I couldn't release it to anyone, not if it was going to be my audition.

"This... This is how I might get the money."

My sudden words turned Namjoon's head. He scooted closer so he could see my phone.

"What do you think? If you were a manager of a company, would you want an artist that made this? Would you hire a producer that made this? Would this pass an audition or stand out? Is this good enough-"

"I need to hear it first, Sujin," he laughed lightly. "But what is it?"

I went quiet for a moment."It's... a song. Not just something I've played around with or recorded for fun. I worked on this for a long time and it's my best one."

"Okay... I understand, but why do you think this one's going to matter so much?"

My twiddled my thumbs lightly. "I'll show you."

I pulled down my notification bar and pulled up the email. I wasn't going to hide it anymore.

If I had held the phone for him, my hands would have been shaking too much for him to read it, so I placed it in his lap and he held it to his eyes.

"You're auditioning for BigHit Entertainment?"

An unexpected gulp delayed my response. "Yeah."

"Under the name Su Kimmie?"

"Yeah? I decided to audition going in by production and song-writing. And I know they've learned from Yoongi that they can turn producers into idols. Even though I love dancing, it's not going to get me in, and neither is singing or rapping. I can learn that if I train-"

"But why are you auditioning?"

I looked at him for a moment. "Because I want to be an idol. You know that I know what it costs and what it really means, more than almost anyone else considering it, and you know how much I've wanted to-"

"No, the real question is why are you auditioning yourself? From the beginning, from scratch? You know PD Nim would hire you in an instant, or start an apprenticeship if we mentioned it to him for you"

"Namjoonie," I turned to him. "Joon, I don't want to just get in for free. I don't want a fake career. I want to earn it. And I was considering auditioning for a different company because of it." My voice turned to a mumble. "And I wouldn't have to disguise myself so much that way..."

"No, no, we want you in the BigHit family."

I looked up to his eyes. "Yeah, I want that too. It's already home to me, and it'd ensure I'd get to stay around you guys as long as possible, even when I might move out or something-" I stopped, "which I don't want to think about yet. Anyways, there's no problem with it, right? I'm still just another person aspiring to make music for life and being your sister doesn't exclude me from anything. There's no reason I can't do it myself."

He thought over my words for a moment. "There is no reason you can't do it yourself. But you can't guarantee a spot this way."

"Do you think I can't do it without your help? You think only Bangtan's sister is worthy, not Kim Sujin?"

"No, no. Of course not." He placed his palm on top of my hands. "I didn't mean it that way. But logically, you're choosing to go in through an audition. Not through... an internship or a job-style way. If you had chosen to go in with our help, I'm just saying the process would have been different. Like for instance, we could train you, and you wouldn't have to be an official trainee. You could essentially choose whether you wanted to try a band or go solo. You could work for free but you'd be learning and maybe wouldn't be held to the same standards. You could also start by working as a producer and working your way up into a job, where you're already accepted by people in the company right off the bat. Going in by audition is so much harder... you're competing all the way up until your debut. And you won't have a lot, if anything to fall back on if your debut doesn't go as planned because the company would have much higher expectations and would have spent a lot more time and money on training you. They'd choose your timeline, your debut and what you do. If you instead choose to work for them and let us help you, you will have more of a say what happens to you and your career. With us, it's more of a team relationship between you and the company. If you audition, it's more of an employer-employee... a boss and a worker. And you're theirs to use."

"It's what you guys did, just, look at you now. How am I going to be any good if I'm not pushed? That's why you guys were made so well. And I won't feel like I deserve it if I don't work for it like that. I won't be happy. My success won't be real."

"It still could be. We wouldn't just give you everything, but we'd give you more opportunities."

"Thanks for the offer, Namjoon."

"It's always been there."

"I know it has. That's why I've had enough time to think about it."

"And you still have time to rethink it, Sujin."

"No, I can't." I brought my arms closer around my body. "The paperwork's in, I have my auditions finalized and I've been preparing myself for a few months. I'm going to audition."

"And if you don't get in, will you consider our offer?"

I shook my head. "I'm not going to assume I'm not going to get in. I've been taught by the best and I have worked just as hard as many other people doing the same thing for the same reason."

"Then what would you do if you don't get in?

I went silent. "I don't know."

"You should have a backup plan, Sujinnie." He leaned on his left palm so it was on the cement behind my back. "I'd hate to see you disappointed for any reason. I'm not saying you might not get in because you're not good enough, because kid, I believe you're where you need to be right now to do great things with that talent and passion of yours. But they consider so many different things when casting. You know how hard it is."

"I know how hard it is. If I don't get in, I'll keep practicing, keep creating, keep making. I'll keep improving, gaining more, being more. And I'll try again."

My brother shifted, his breath drawing in like he was breathing through a video recording. "Okay. That's about all you can do, if you want to do it that way. Just... come to us, if you need an extra lesson on quantizing or want to find a job to upgrade your MIDI... we care about you so much, and I know this is your dream. We've made it, and all we want to do is make sure we help someone do the same. It's the most we can do to give back. We want it more than anything, too."

I let the silence drag on for a moment. "I believe you, Namjoon. I'll remember that."

"Please do." He put his arm around my shoulder and squeezed into a hug. My face scrunched up into a smile. "And to answer your question, that song's pretty darn good."

"I tried really hard on it." I turned on my phone to swipe the tab with the song file away. When I glanced back at Namjoon's face, he was beaming. His soft eyes were watching me with eyes that glittered from whatever light was surrounding us sitting under the sky that was waiting for the sun.

"That's why you're going to make it in the industry."

"Mhm."

Our gazes turned back to the city in front of us. After another moment, Namjoon stood. "Why don't we follow the paved trail going up the mountain a bit? It's all part of the observatory and I think we could see the sun setting more from there. You up for a small hike?"

I nodded. "Let's go."

His hand outstretched towards me and I took it, following as we started up the path with more of a skip in my step than I'd come with.

But we didn't get to see the sunrise that morning. I didn't get to skip long, not long at all. Because I was mid-step, almost to the best sun watching location when my right leg collapsed under me and I fell to the ground. At least, that's what they told me when I woke up.

The details were up to Namjoon, because I had passed out. I didn't feel it happen, I only felt the panic as I opened my eyes to see we weren't at a mountainside in the city of Santiago, and it wasn't early morning anymore.

Dun dun dunnn. Haha. This was a fun chapter to write, but looks like the plot's progressing! 

I'm headed off to a church camp tomorrow so I'll be gone for a while :) But I'll be back in time for another update next week. So see you then!

And as always, please stay safe, healthy, and happy!!

-Rose