I began backing away from Bucky as slowly as possible, hoping he wouldn't notice. He turned his head to look at me, his eyes still dead. Suddenly, he launched forward at me, and I knew what he wanted. I hadn't taken the gun he'd tried to give me a few minutes ago, but tossed it to the ground several feet away. We both dove for it at the same time.

I beat him to it, scooping it up from the ground and quickly emptying the cartridge. I chucked it against the wall and it shattered. Bullets bounced off the concrete and rained down harmlessly. Before I could even lower my arm from throwing it, Bucky charged forward and pinned me against the wall, his metal arm pressed against my chest.

"Bucky, Buck, please," I whimpered, trying to push him off. "This isn't you, please, listen to me."

"I don't know who Bucky is," he growled and began to move his arm to my throat.

I jerked my knee up suddenly, taking him by surprise and making him stumble away enough for me to get away from the wall. I ran behind the table of screens and began to lockdown the armory from the computer. I could last in hand to hand combat for a little while, maybe long enough to get him to remember me. But if he got his hands on any sort of weapon, I knew I was fucked.

Bucky appeared on the other side of the table and I jumped, just hitting the armory lockdown button. My hands shook as I held them out and he glared at me.

"I'm not going to fight you," I said quietly. "I won't do that because I love you."

He flew across the table, striking me in the stomach and knocking me to the floor. I blocked my face with my hands, and his fist hit against my forearms like a ton of bricks. As he wound up to punch again, I scurried away under the table, out of the conference room, and towards the elevator.

"Steve!" I screamed when I reached the doors. "Steve, help, please, help!"

I shrieked in surprise as Bucky grabbed me by the arm and threw me into the wall behind him. My head smacked against it, and by the time I was able to straighten up, he was in front of me again. His metal hand shot up to my neck, and I cried out as his grip tightened.

"Listen to me," I breathed, grabbing onto his wrist. "Bucky, please, I know you're there."

"Shut up," he muttered, totally avoiding my eyes.

"Look at me!" I screamed. "Look at me, Bucky! You know me!"

"I don't know who the fuck Bucky is and I don't know you."

"Yes, yes you do!" I sobbed. "You know me better than anyone and you love me!"

"Shut up!"

His fingers tightened around my throat and I began struggling for air, clawing at his hand.

"You love me. And I love you," I wheezed. "I know you know that."

"Stop saying that!" He roared, "I. DON'T. KNOW. YOU."

Suddenly, the elevator doors blew open. Steve ran into the room, shield first, and propelled himself at Bucky. He knocked him down and the two slid across the room, beginning to exchange punches. I slid to the ground with a loud wheeze, my hands flying to my throat as I struggled to breathe.

"Cara! Cara, what happened?!"

I looked up to see Clint standing over me, bow in hand. I tried to respond, but I couldn't get any words out. All I could do was make little rasping noises and point.

"You probably won't be able to talk for a few minutes," he muttered. "Come on, we need to get you out of here."

Clint helped me up and basically carried me over to the elevator, pushing me inside.

"We had to pry the doors open up there and climb down the shaft. We opened the emergency panel in the ceiling and dropped down," he explained, motioning to the hole in the top of the elevator. "I can lift you up there, but after that you're gonna have to climb back up to the basement, can you do that?"

I nodded uncertainly. There was a loud crashing noise from inside the lab and I jumped, my heart leaping into my throat.

"Hey, stop, look at me!" Clint said sternly, taking me by the shoulders. "You need to be on top of your game, Cara. I know it's fucked up and you're confused, but if you can't calm yourself down, you're not going to be a help to us, and you're not going to be a help to him. Got that?!"

I closed my eyes and nodded quickly, trying to control my breathing and slow down my pulse. Clint grabbed me by the waist suddenly and hoisted me towards the hole in the ceiling, pushing me up and through it. I grabbed onto the ledge and clambered out of the hole, then crawled across to the ladder built into the wall of the shaft. Clint was quickly out of the elevator as well, climbing up the ladder behind me. When we reached the basement, we rushed up the stairs, Clint slamming the door behind him.

Sam, Scott, and Wanda came out of the living room and rushed over to us. I started to explain what had happened downstairs, but was cut off by another loud crashing noise from the basement. Steve and Bucky were making their way upstairs.

"They're coming," I said faintly. "He's trying to kill me. He won't stop until he kills me."

"Scott, get her out of here," Sam muttered, grabbing me by the arm and bringing me towards the front door. "Just get in the car and drive, she can't be here."

"No!" I protested. "No, I'm not leaving!"

"INCOMING!"

The basement door flew open and Steve burst through it, turned around, then whipped his shield down the stairs. We heard it hit something, presumably Bucky, before returning to Steve's hand. Steve's head whipped towards us, and his eyes widened when he saw me.

"Go!" He yelled. "Cara, get the hell out of here!"

"Let's go," Wanda said decidedly.

She grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out to one of the cars we'd arrived in, ignoring my protests as we went.

"Can you drive? I'm sure you know a better place to hide," she said softly when we reached it.

I nodded and climbed into the drivers seat, grabbing the keys from the center console and starting the car. The second Wanda shut her door I hit the accelerator, and we shot out of the driveway and down the unbeaten road. I attempted to pull it together as I drove, but I slowly felt myself losing the grip that I barely had.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Wanda asked quietly.

"I don't know what happened," I breathed. "It was like someone flipped a switch in his brain, and all of a sudden it wasn't him. All of a sudden he didn't know me." My voice cracked at the end of my sentence, and I shifted so one of my hands was on top of the steering wheel as I raked the other through my hair.

"I'm sorry," Wanda whispered. "This must suck."

I bit my lower lip as it began to tremble slightly and kept my eyes forward.

"I'm not going to say I know how you feel, though. Because I don't," she added. "I'm not going to lie and say I do."

"We were talking about what we would do when all this was over, we were discussing the future. And now he doesn't even know my fucking name!" I yelled, slamming my hand against the steering wheel angrily. "It's not fair, none of this is fair, he's a good person, he's a good man, he doesn't deserve this!"

"You're right, Cara, no one does, least of all him."

"I just want this all to be-" I stopped talking as I glanced into the rearview mirror. "Fuck."

"What?" Wanda whipped around and looked out the back window. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "Oh shit, he's a fast runner."

Bucky was sprinting up the road behind the car, quickly gaining on us. I could see Steve and Clint running after him, and Sam flying above.

"They won't be able to catch him before he gets to us," I muttered. "Open the glovebox, there's an ICER in there."

She did, removed the gun, and started to hand it to me. "Can you do it?"

"Can I do what?"

"If it comes down to it, can you shoot him?"

"Yes, it won't kill him," I muttered, grabbing the ICER away from her. "Okay I'm gonna hit the gas really really fucking hard, then I'm gonna jump into the backseat. You need to hold the gas down and keep us on the road, can you do that?!"

"Yes, go!"

I slammed my foot down and jumped out of my seat, throwing myself int the backseat. Wanda held her hands out, and clouds of red instantly surrounded the pedals and steering wheel. Bucky was extremely close now, not losing any momentum.

"Take it easy," I called to Wanda. "I'm going out the window."

I reached over and rolled down the window, then stuck my head and arm out. I aimed for his leg as best as I could and fired a few shots, missing him entirely. I swore loudly and ducked back in, panting slightly.

"How's it going?" Wanda asked from her seat, glancing back at me.

"Not well," I called, leaning out the window again.

I prepared to aim again, but before I could even lift my head to look, I was hit by a sudden force that knocked me out of the car. Wanda hit the brakes and the car screeched to a stop as Bucky and I hit the road and tumbled to a stop.

"Stop!" I screamed, beating his chest as he held me down. "Bucky, please, it's okay, listen to me, it's okay, but you need to get off of me!"

"Stop calling me that," he growled, punching me across the face.

I snapped my head back towards him immediately. "Stop trying to fucking kill me!"

"Sorry, that's my job," he muttered.

I jerked my foot up and kicked him in the thigh as hard as I could, knocking him off me. He stood up quickly, but I'd already rolled away and grabbed the ICER I'd dropped falling out of the car. Before he could charge at me, I pointed it at his leg and fired several times.

Bucky fell to the ground as the other guys reached us. I dropped the ICER and jumped onto his back, pulling his wrists behind him and pressing my knee into his lower back.

"Did anyone bring anything to restrain him?" I asked, looking around at everyone else. "He's not gonna be knocked out for as long as a normal person; his metabolism is faster...Jesus Christ can you all stop standing there staring at me and fucking do something?!"

Sam stepped forward and reached into the pack that his wings came out of. He retrieved a pair of handcuffs and handed them to me; I took them instantly and attached them to Bucky's wrists. As I backed away, he and Steve picked Bucky up and brought him over to the car, placing him in the backseat to which Wanda had opened the door.

I watched as they did so, until I felt my stomach heave suddenly. I staggered away from the group and promptly began to vomit at the edge of the road where the dirt met the forest. As I finished, I noticed that I was sobbing at the same time. I fell against the tree next to me and held the back of my hand against my mouth in utter shock. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and turned to see Steve standing behind me.

"Are you okay?"

I started to nod, then stopped suddenly and began shaking my head.

"No," I whispered, my face crumbling as he took a step closer to me. "I'm not okay, Steve."

He hugged me to his chest as I started sobbing even harder. I grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and buried my face in it as I cried, trying to do something to stabilize myself.

We stood there in total silence apart from my weeping. Even when I'd reduced to quiet sniffling neither of us spoke. We simply walked back to the car, got in, and rode back to the house.

******

"What do we do?"

"Wait for him to wake up."

"And then what?"

Steve didn't respond for a few seconds. He glanced over at me quickly, then sighed. "We take it slow. We'll see where he's at and-"

"See where he's at," I repeated. "You mean see what he remembers."

"More or less."

"What will he remember?"

"That's hard to say," Steve said softly. "I've only seen him come back from this once."

I turned away from Steve and back to the infirmary window. We'd moved all the beds to the side, save for one in the center. Bucky was strapped and handcuffed to it, still unconscious from the ICER. Steve and I had been standing there watching him for close to an hour, everyone else having gone upstairs to give us space.

"Is he going to remember me?"

"Cara, I really can't say. I wish I could, but I can't."

I nodded slightly. "Yeah, right."

Steve furrowed his eyebrows suddenly. "Looks like he might be coming to, come on, let's go."

"Steve," I said quietly as he started to walk away.

He turned back to face me and I folded my arms over my chest tightly.

"Don't tell him," I continued. "If he doesn't know who I am. Please, don't tell him."

Steve nodded. "If you don't want me to. It's your decision." He turned and starting walking again.

I followed him into the infirmary wearily, hanging behind near the doorway as Steve stood at the foot of Bucky's bed.

"Buck," he called after a moment. "Wake up."

Bucky made a small groaning noise as he groggily opened his eyes. They landed on Steve and the two of them stared at each other for a few moments.

"Do you remember me?"

"You're Steve, you're my best friend," Bucky murmured slowly and laboredly. "Your mom's name was Sarah. She used to treat me like I was her other son."

Steve nodded. "And do you know where you are?"

Bucky looked down at his restraints and around at his surroundings. "No."

"Do you remember what happened?"

"No."

Steve glanced over at me. "What about her? Do you know who she is?"

Bucky's eyes met mine for the first time since he'd woken up. My heart broke as he looked at me, not an ounce of recognition in his face. I knew his answer before he even said it.

"No."

Somehow, I was able to suppress the urge to burst into tears. I managed to restrain myself from screaming and crying out to him that yes, in fact, he did know me. I wanted him to know that he knew me and he loved me and he wanted to marry me. But, I stood there stoically with my mouth shut, staring straight ahead.

"I did something bad, didn't I?" Bucky whispered hoarsely.

I glanced up and saw he was looking at my neck. I'd totally forgotten to do something to cover it; you could clearly see the bruises left over from the attack. I put my hand over my neck casually, hoping he hadn't seen that they were shaped like his hand but knowing he had.

"Take those off of him," I muttered.

"What?"

"I said take them off," I rose my voice slightly. "He's not gonna hurt anyone, there's no point in keeping him strapped down."

"Maybe we should wait a-"

"Steve, last time I checked this is my house. I think I decide how to use the things I've paid for."

"Okay, okay," he said calmly. "I'm sorry."

"I have to go do something, I'll be back down later."

I turned and rushed out of the room before Steve could say anything. He followed me out and stepped in front of me before I could press the elevator button.

"Cara-"

"I'm going to move his stuff out of my room," I cut him off. "I figure if he doesn't remember who I am he probably doesn't remember the fact that we've shared a bed for months."

"You need to calm down," Steve said sternly. "Chances are he'll remember you, okay?"

"When, Steve?" I snapped. "And to what degree? Maybe he'll remember my name and the fact that we were good friends, but Christ knows if he'll remember anything else!"

"Calm. Down," he repeated. "You have to give him time to remember things. It's not just going to happen overnight."

I crossed my arms over my chest helplessly and glanced back towards the infirmary door. "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm being stupid."

"You should go get some rest. You've had a hell of a day."

"No, I should stay, I should be here, I should-"

"Go," he insisted, pushing the elevator button and stepping aside so I could get in. "If anything happens I'll come get you."

"Alright, you're the boss," I said softly and stepped into the elevator.

"Come on, I think we all know who the boss here is," he smirked.

I smiled a little. "I'll see you later, Steve."

He offered me a little wave as the doors closed. I leaned against the elevator wall and slowly closed my eyes. After a few moments, I opened them and exhaled loudly.

"God, this fucking sucks."