♡

THE ONE WITH THE LIST.
EPISODE SIX.

♡

Zara was frustrated.

Mainly because she had writer's block when it came to the end of her first book. So, Zara had a plan of going through the first draft of her book to edit it, where hopefully, it would help spark the last hundred pages. As well as that, Zara had started running with Monica to clear her mind.

But nothing had broken her block yet.

"Okay," said Chandler, coming through the front door. "What is it about me? Do I not look fun enough? Is there something... repellent about me?"

Zara frowned at him. "Honey, are you still going on about this?"

"Yes, I am," Chandler answered.

"So, how was the party?" Ross asked.

"It couldn't have been worse," Chandler decided as Zara sighed, still exhausted from the party herself. " Not one person believed Zara was my girlfriend. I know I'm punching above my weight, and it's a miracle I haven't screwed this up yet, but what is it about me that's unattractive?"

"You're not unattractive," Zara told him.

"You're very attractive," Phoebe reassured him. "You know what, I go through the same thing. Every time I put on a little weight, I start questioning everything."

Chandler's mouth opened at the words as Zara's eyes fell on him. "Whoa, whoa," said Chandler in response. "I've...I've put on a little weight?"

Everyone, but Zara, was quick to divert their attention elsewhere. Zara reached for Chandler's hand, pulling him towards where she sat.

"I'm still attracted to you," Zara reassured him.

"But you agree that I've put on weight?" Chandler questioned.

"That's what happens when you're in a relationship," said Monica, grinning at Chandler.

"You haven't really put on weight," Zara insisted.

"How come Zara's immune to this relationship weight," Chandler complained.

"Maybe because Zara works out with me," Monica told him, standing. "Chandler, I'm unemployed and in dire need of a project. You want to work out. I can remake you."

"I would, but that might get in the way of my lying around time," Chandler replied.

"Or," Zara offered, offering her boyfriend a smirk. "I can help you work out in other ways."

"Let's start now," Chandler decided.

"No," Monica said. "Please."

"Let her do it."

"Come on."

"Okay, all right," Chandler gave in. "But if we put on spandex and my boobs are bigger than yours, I'm going home."

"Your boobs are fine," Phoebe told him, standing. "I never should have said anything. Come here," Phoebe opened her arms, offering a hug. "Come here."

There was a sweet smile as Chandler hugged Phoebe.

"Oh...can't...make...hands...meet."

♡

An energetic Chandler stood outside in the hallway of the two apartments as he jumped around on the spot, eager for their first running session together. Zara raised her eyebrows at him, surprised to see him in tight shorts and a jumper.

"Okay, let's do it," Chandler said.

"Babe, you really don't have to do this," Zara told Chandler.

"I want to," Chandler told her.

Though, as Chandler and Zara moved to leave (with Zara walking and Chandler jogging), Monica had paused, which caused the two to turn back to her again.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"Nothing," said Monica. "Just never seen you in little stretchy pants before."

"Hold on," added Zara, grinning. "Are they mine?"

"And we're changing," Chandler decided.

By the time they headed out running, Chandler shocked Zara. While Zara and Monica had a rhythm together as they jogged, Chandler struggled to keep up. The first time ended with Chandler getting a cab home as Zara shook her head at him.

Now, Chandler groaned as he struggled with the sit-ups as Monica held his legs down.

"Come on, give me five more."

"No," Chandler whispered, panting.

"Five more!"

"No!"

Zara stood above Chandler, smirking down at him. "Five more and I'll let you get in the shower with me."

In a flash, Chandler pulled his body upwards as he found the motivation for the last five situps. Satisfied with herself, Zara and Monica shared a look. Though, Chandler couldn't even bring himself to finish the five.

"Okay, can we just..."

"Two more, Bing."

But, a few days later, Chandler was in pain from simply lifting his mug. Watching him, Zara had frowned, wishing he would see that he didn't have to force himself to be active.

Fed up with his pain, Joey removed the mug and put it down for Chandler to ease him.

"She's insane," Chandler insisted. "The woman is insane. It's before work. It's after work. It's during work."

"Uh, she's sat right there," Joey said.

Zara sighed. "Not me, Joey."

"She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk," Chandler continued. "And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore."

"Chandler, you need to learn to say no to Monica," said Zara, though she was repeating herself at this point. "I learnt to."

"Yeah, but you're scary," Chandler said.

Phoebe came into the coffee house then with a warm smile on her face. It was Rachel who had spotted their friend first.

"Pheebs, how did it go with Scott last night?" Rachel asked.

"It was nice," said Phoebe, placing her bag on the chair next to Zara. "Took him to a romantic restaurant. Ordered champagne. Nice."

"The guy still won't put out?" Joey noticed.

"Nope, zilch, nothing, huh-uh."

"Sorry, Pheebs," they all murmured.

"Look, I don't mind taking it slow," said Phoebe, sitting down. "I like it a lot. He's really interesting and he's really sweet. Why won't he give it up?"

"Maybe he, uh, drives his car on the other side of the road," Joey said. "If you know what I mean."

"No, what do you mean?" Phoebe questioned. "He's not British."

"Maybe he's gay," Joey explained.

"Oh," Phoebe realised. "Um, no. I don't think that's the problem. 'Cause we went dancing the other night and just the way he held me so close and the way he was looking into my eyes I just... I defiantly felt something."

"Yeah, but how much can you tell from a look?" Rachel questioned from where she sat.

"No, I felt it on my hip," Phoebe explained.

"Yo, Bing!" Monica joined them. "Racquetball in twenty minutes." 

"Joey, be a pal," said Chandler. "And smack her with it."

"Oh, Rachel, don't look!" Phoebe exclaimed, pointing out the window

"What?" Rachel questioned as she turned, spotting Ross and Julie together. "Come on, you guys, I don't care. I have a date tonight."

"Woah, woah," Joey was quick. "You have a date?"

"Yeah," said Rachel. "Monica set me up."

"What about Ross and..."

"Oh, what, my whole insane jealousy thing?" Rachel questioned. "Well, you know, as much fun as that was, I've decided to opt for sanity."

"So you're really okay about this?" Chandler asked, caring about his friend.

"Oh, yeah," said Rachel, though they could all see through the act. "Come on. I'm moving on. He can press her up against that window as much as he wants. For all I care, throw her through the damn thing."

"Hi, guys," Ross greeted them, coming into the coffee house with Julie. "Oh, Monica, I figured I'd come by tomorrow morning and pick up Fuffy's old cat toys, okay?"

"Only if you say his full name," said Monica.

"Can I come over tomorrow and pick up Fluffy Meowington's cat toys?"

"All right," Monica said.

"Somehow, that name is gonna be in my book," Zara decided.

"You're getting a cat?" Joey asked.

"Actually, we're getting a cat."

Zara tried not to flinch at that, knowing it was just a recipe for disaster.

"Together?" Rachel questioned, joining them again.

"Uh-huh."

"Both of you? Together?"

"Yeah," Julie answered. "We figured it'll live with Ross half the time and with me half the time."

"Oh, well, isn't that just lovely? That's something the two of you will be able to enjoy for a really, really, really, really long time."

"Hopefully," Ross agreed.

Zara's head turned back to the laptop on her lap, raising her eyebrows in response to the conversation. While it was obvious that Rachel was jealous, it was evident too that this whole shared cat idea was an awful idea.

"Look at that," Rachel caught Zara's attention again. "I got to go. I got a date with a man."

Then, with that, she hurried to the door and reached for her jacket.

"Okay, you guys have a really good night," said Rachel. "And you two have a...uh, have a really good cat."

Taking the tray with her, Rachel vanished. Though, no one looked away from the door as they waited for Rachel to return, realising that she had taken the coffee tray with her.

"Okay, we're not supposed to take these when we leave," said Rachel as she briefly returned.

♡

Poor Chandler had been stuck with Monica again that night with Zara staying at home, trying to figure out her novel. Though, she hadn't expected Chandler to come in with a face of thunder, pouting as if he was a child.

"We're staying at mine tonight," Chandler decided.

"Are we?" Zara questioned, trying not to laugh. "What did Monica do?"

"She pushed me over!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Oh, honey," Zara sympathised. "You just gotta say no to Monica."

Chandler sighed at that before encouraging Zara to make the move over to his apartment. Taking her laptop, Zara ended up sitting in Joey's seat as she tried to work with her legs dangling over the arms of the chair and onto Chandler's lap.

"How's the block going?" Chandler asked her, hands resting comfortably on her legs.

Looking at him, Zara frowned in response.

"Hey, you'll get there," Chandler encouraged with a bright smile. "The best things take time like us."

The words struck Zara as she looked down at her laptop, knowing that finishing a book wasn't something that was going to happen overnight. So far, it had almost taken her a year to get to this point. Now, when she was in the thick of it, maybe Zara was blocked because she was afraid for it to end.

Just like with Chandler, Zara had been afraid to take that risk with him, but it had been worth it in the end. So, Zara just needed to get over her fear.

And in the book, Zara's character was afraid that everything had been too good to be true, so it was not surprising when everything came crashing down. But, for Ruby, it was not an end — it was a beginning.

"What?" Chandler questioned.

"I think I know how I want the book to end," Zara realised.

Chander smiled at that. "You do?"

"Yeah," said Zara. "I don't want the story to end with everything dark and gloomy for Ruby. Maybe she's trusted in a new home and that's been taken away from her, but it's not her end. This first book is just Ruby's beginning, so it will end with hope."

"That sounds like something," Chandler noticed.

And it meant that Zara didn't need to fear finishing her novel as it was just the beginning.

Feeling happier, Zara closed her laptop as she pulled her legs away from Chandler's lap, moving to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you."

"I didn't do much," Chandler insisted.

"You've done everything," Zara told him. "Now, as much as I want to spend the night with you, you're a distraction."

"I get it," Chandler reassured. "Go write, Zara."

"Just don't sleep without me," Zara warned him. "Or I'll be mad."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Chandler promised.

That night, Zara had not written a new chapter or even a single additional word of her book, but she had a solid plan for the end now. When Chandler found Zara later that night, she had an ecstatic smile on her face, eager to run her boyfriend through the end of her book.

The following morning, there was a knock on Zara's bedroom door.

"No, no, no, no," Chandler kept repeating, burying his head in the crook of Zara's neck as if to hide from Monica. "Make her go away."

"It's Sunday, Mon!" Zara shouted.

Though, Zara sighed as the bedroom door opened with a perky, energetic Monica appearing that was too much for a Sunday morning. Chandler rolled over with a groan, making sure the covers were still covering them.

"I'm not running on a Sunday," Chandler told her.

"Why not?" Monica questioned.

"Because it's a Sunday!" Chandler exclaimed. "I just want a lay in with my girlfriend."

"Hey, you say stop and we stop," said Monica.

"Okay," Chandler chuckled before coming serious. "Stop."

"No! Come on! We can't stop!" Then, she hurried towards Zara's bed, punching Chandler's bicep lightly. "Come on! We got three more pounds to go! I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo."

"Please don't do that again," Zara told her friend.

"Woo-woo!" Monica's arm moved in a similar action to match the sound. "Woo-woo!"

Chandler's head turned, looking at Zara in desperation.

"Monica, leave now," said Zara. "Or I will remove you from my bedroom."

"Fine," Monica gave in. "But just this one time."

Then, finally, Monica left the couple alone for the day as Chandler sighed, head falling back against the pillow. His head was in his hands as Zara's body rolled, leaning on her hand as she laughed at him.

"I'm not saving you again, Bing," Zara told him.

Though, Chandler's time came the following morning before work. Zara would have been up for joining Monica, but she had stayed up late writing, so she was exhausted. This time, Monica had come into Chandler's apartment.

Zara had refused to get up as she put her head under her pillow, leaving it down to Chandler to say no to their friend. To Zara's surprise, Chandler had come back to bed not too long later as Zara peeked from her pillow, eyes narrowing at him.

"Monica's sleeping on the sofa," Chandler told her.

"What did you do to her?" Zara questioned.

Climbing back into bed, Zara felt her boyfriend's hand on her back as he traced circles. Zara's head was tilted to face him, still curious about what he had done.

"I might have reminded Monica that she's unemployed," Chandler said.

"You made her sad," Zara noticed, oddly impressed, though still worried about her friend. "And you said I'm the scary one."

"You're still terrifying, honey," Chandler reassured her. "I can't take that from you."

Zara moved, placing her head on Chandler's chest. "You're making me soft, though, Bing."

"I still hate it when you call me Bing."

"That makes me love calling you it even more."

Chandler sighed, pressing a kiss on the top of her head.

♡

EPISODE EIGHT.

♡

"Ross kissed me," Rachel announced.

Zara's mouth fell open, shocked by the news (though, not surprised). Phoebe's response was similar as she gasped, her hand covering her mouth, but Monica was the ecstatic one as she embraced Rachel.

"It was unbelievable," exclaimed Rachel.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!"

Monica grabbed Phoebe's arms, shaking her a little.

Then, Phoebe stood. "Okay, all right. We want to hear everything. Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone."

"Okay," said Monica, rushing off.

"Rachel, does this end well or do we need to get tissues?" Phoebe asked.

"Oh, it ended very well," Rachel reassured them, removing her coat.

"Oh, thank God," said Zara. "It's about time."

"Do not start without me," Monica shouted, running back towards them with four glasses and a bottle of wine.

Then, Monica put the glasses on the table with Zara reaching for the bottle, popping the cork out with her eyes remaining on Rachel.

"Okay, let's hear about the kiss," said Phoebe. "Was it like a soft brush against your lips or was it like a...'I got to have you now' thing?"

"Well, at first, it was really intense, you know," Rachel replied. "And then...oh, God. And then we just sort of sunk into it."

"Okay, so was he holding you or was his hands, like, on your back?"

"No, actually, first they started on my waist, and then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair," Rachel explained.

"Oh," the three responded.

♡

The next day, after work, Zara rolled her eyes in amusement at Chandler's adorable energy with his new laptop. If he was proud of anything, then it was his new purchase.

"All right, check out this bad boy," said Chandler, eager to show the group with Zara's old laptop resting on the coffee table next to it, looking old and worn. "Twelve megabytes of ram and five-hundred-megabyte hard drive, built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over twenty-eight thousand B.P.S.."

"Wow, what are you going to use it for?" Phoebe asked.

"Games and stuff," Chandler answered.

"Chandler just wants to join in with me in bed," Zara explained. "Het gets a little bored when I'm writing and he's just sat there."

"Yeah," said Chandler, smiling proudly. "So now I can be on my own laptop."

Chandler had also offered to buy Zara a new laptop, but she had told him no. It didn't feel right changing laptops when she was so close to finishing her book on her old, overused laptop.

"Oh, so you're that couple," Joey realised.

"What does that mean?" Zara and Chandler questioned.

"You know, you're settling down," said Phoebe. "Becoming domestic."

Both were silent at that, not looking at each other.

"It's not a bad thing," Monica reassured them. "This is a really good thing."

Zara peeked a look at Chander, expecting him to be afraid, but he seemed comfortable with a smile on his face. Maybe they were becoming that couple.

"There are no jobs," Monica announced, putting down her paper. "There are no jobs for me."

"Oh, wait, here's one," said Joey, helping Monica as he looked through the paper too. "Uh...would you be willing to cook naked?"

"There's an ad for a naked chef?" Monica questioned.

"No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then..." Joey rubbed his fingers together for money.

Behind them, Ross came into the coffee house as he greeted them.

"Hey, oh, so, uh..." Phoebe said. "How'd you make out last night?"

"That that is funny," said Ross as everyone laughed around him. "That is painfully funny. No, wait, wait. Yeah, that's just painful."

"Hey, wait a minute," Monica caught on that Ross wasn't happy. "I thought last night was great."

"Yeah, it was," Ross said, sitting down opposite the group. "But...I get home, okay? And I see Julie's saline solution on my night table and I'm thinking to myself 'oh, my God, what the hell am I doing?' Here I am, I'm with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me and I'm like, what, am I just going to throw all that away?"

"You got all that from saline solution?" Joey questioned.

"Wait a minute," said Monica. "We're talking about Rachel here — you and Rachel."

"Look, believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for, like, ten years now," said Ross. "But now, I'm with Julie, so it's like, me and Julie, me and Rachel, me and Julie. Me and Rach. Rachel, Rachel."

Turning, Zara saw that Rachel had appeared from the back door. Her presence had caused Ross to stand, where his decision was obvious, even if he didn't know it yet.

"Hey," greeted Rachel.

"How are you?" Ross asked.

"Good," Rachel answered, moving closer to Ross. "How are you?"

"Good," Ross repeated.

"Hi, honey," Julie greeted.

Zara flinched, leaning into Chandler's side as his arm slid around her.

"Hi, Julie," said Ross out of instinct before realising. "Hi. Julie! Julie!" There was a burst of awkward laughter from Ross as everyone was looking at him. "Um...how are you?"

"Good," Julie replied, smiling brightly.

"Good," Ross responded. "So everybody's here. Everybody's good."

At that, there was silence with the awkwardness deafening.

"So, were you going to play something, Phoebe?" Ross asked.

"Oh, well, actually..."

"Play it," Ross insisted.

"All right."

"Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses," said Joey.

"What?" Julie questioned.

Ross had hushed Joey as Zara had thrown a sugar sachet at Joey's head, causing the man to turn to look at her with a glower. The man fell silent, slowly realising what he was talking about.

"Okay, um..." hearing Phoebe being, Zara twisted in her chair to see her friend. "Hello. Hi. Okay. So, um...this is a song, um...about a love triangle between three people that I made up."

Zara pressed her lips together, not trusting herself.

"Um...it's called 'two of them kissed last night'."

Phoebe began her song, only making things more awkward for the group, but unknowingly adding pressure on Ross. Zara had ended up flinching, resting her head on Chandler's shoulder as if it might disappear.

♡

Zara had been alone as she remained at the coffee house to focus on her writing. Only when Rachel finished, did Zara give in for the night as the two headed up to their apartment together.

"Hey," the two greeted Phoebe and Monica.

"Did, uh... Ross call?" Rachel asked, trying to sound casual.

"No, I'm sorry," Monical replied.

"Why didn't he call?" Rachel questioned. "He's going to stay with Julie, isn't he? He's going to stay with her and she's going to be all. 'Hi. I'm Julie. Ross picked me. And we're going to get married and have lots of kids, and dig up stuff together.'"

"No offence, but that sounds nothing like her," Phoebe said.

"Plus," Zara added. "Julie might not even take Ross back when she finds out."

That didn't seem to reassure Rachel either, so they decided to focus on something else in the hope to distract their friend. Away from Rachel's love life, they had Monica's possible job as she was cooking away to come up with an idea for a job.

"This is pumpkin pie with a mockolate cookie crumb crust," Monica told them a little while later. "This is mockolate cranberry cake and these are mockolate chip cookies, just like the Indians serve."

Zara tried a cookie first, eager to taste her friend's creation. Though, tasting it, Zara's face had crumbled.

"Oh my God," said Rachel.

"Oh my God good?" Monica questioned.

"Oh my God, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth," Rachel corrected, spitting out the contents into a tissue.

"Oh! Oh! Sweet lord!" Phoebe exclaimed, spitting hers out. "This is what evil must taste like."

"Monica, I love you," said Zara. "But this is a big no. Can I have them?"

"Why would you want them?" Monica asked.

"To send to people I don't like," Zara decided.

Not long later, Rachel wanted to head to the guy's apartment with Zara following, finding the smell of Thanksgiving making her feel sick.

"Hey, do you guys have...?" Rachel questioned.

Spotting Ross, Rachel froze as she closed the front door, becoming anxious. "Hi."

"Hi."

Chandler was grinning brightly as he met Zara halfway, arms wrapping around her waist as he pulled her closer for a kiss. Zara wouldn't admit it, but she just wanted to see Chandler more than get away from the smell.

"Hi," Chandler greeted her.

Zara kissed him again. "Hello to you too."

"Call me crazy, but I missed you," Chandler whispered.

"It's not even been long," Zara reminded him, a little smug from the affection.

Chandler shrugged, bashfully. "Maybe that's too long."

"Where you going?" Rachel asked Ross.

As Chandler's hand slid around her waist, Zara's head fell back against Chandler's chest. While she was here to see Chandler, she also wanted to stay to support Rachel.

"I, uh, I just got back from, uh, from Julie's," Ross confessed.

"Oh," said Rachel, disappointed.

"No, no, uh..." Ross panicked. "It's not what you think. It's... um, it's the other thing."

Joey was grinning like a child on Christmas morning.

"Well...what's the other thing?" Rachel asked. "What do I think?"

Ross struggled with Joey helping to encourage him. "Well, uh..."

"He broke up with Julie," Joey announced with Zara now smiling too, ecstatic for Rachel. "Well, go hug her, for God's sakes!"

"Really?" Rachel questioned as Ross walked toward her.

"Really," Ross reassured. "It's always been you, Rach."

Rachel was happy with that as Ross pulled her into his arms, holding onto her tightly. Zara felt Chandler's lips on her head, but she was smiling in joy for her friend.

"Oh..." said Rachel. "This is good, this is really good."

"I know, I know," Ross agreed. "It's...it's almost...."

But Ross turned, realising the three of them were still watching.

"What do you say we go take a walk — just us, not them?" Ross offered.

"Okay," said Rachel. "Let me get my coat."

"No, hey," Ross caught her hand. "I'll get your coat."

"Okay," Rachel replied, still smiling.

When Ross left, Rachel's eyes were on Zara, truly beaming with her joy.

"He's going to get my coat," said Rachel. "He's going to get my coat!"

For the first time, Zara was truly one of the girls as she held onto Rachel's hands, sharing a similar excitement for her friend.

"Oh my God, you guys," said Rachel, unable to stay still as she moved further into the room. "I can't believe this! This is unbelievable! What's that?"

Rachel had pointed at Chandler's laptop screen.

"What?" Chandler panicked. "Nothing!"

Leaving Zara, Chandler was quick to close down the laptop. Next to Zara, Joey had been smiling before his face dropped, eyes popping wide.

"What is that?" Zara now questioned.

"Yeah, what is it?" Rachel added. "I saw my name. What is it?"

"No. no. See? See?" Chandler moved his finger as nothing happened on the screen, but the printer had whirled to life. "Hey, it's printing!"

Joey stood up in horror.

"Hey, it's printing!"

Chandler quickly scooped up the page as Zara moved closer to him, hands reaching out for the page. "Hand it over, Bing."

"Let me see," Rachel insisted.

"Hey, someone order a coat?" Ross questioned, returning.

"Ross, Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see," Rachel told him.

"He won't...he won't...?" Ross said, catching on as Zara knew he was in the known too. "Because isn't that, isn't that... Zara's latest chapter you were helping her with?"

"Yes, yes it is," Chandler answered.

"I only write on my laptop," Zara accused. "If it's my chapter, then let me read it then."

"No!" Everyone shouted.

"Chandler," Zara spoke his name in warning.

"Hey, uh, why don't you read it to them?" Joey suggested.

Chander shot Joey a look that only caused Zara to smirk, knowing she had caught him out now.

"Yeah, Chandler," said Zara. "Read it out loud."

"All right," said Chandler, sounding tense and afraid (as he should be).

Ross pushed Rachel down onto the chair to sit with Zara's arms folding across her chest, shooting Ross a glare to not even think about it. Instead, her icy stare remained on her boyfriend, silently demanding for him to start reading.

Zara was no fool, something was wrong.

Chandler flicked at his paper, preparing himself.

"It was summer and it was hot when Ruby—"

"That's not my chapter," Zara cut in. "Ruby's book started in September and ends in Spring."

"You know what," said Rachel, standing again. "This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it."

Rachel snatched at the paper with Chandler quick to take it back.

"No, you don't," Chandler handed it to Ross, who handed it to Joey.

"All right, you know what, fine," said Rachel, taking her coat as she moved to leave. "If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need... to see it."

But Rachel had grabbed the paper with Zara proud of her. The guys rushed as Zara tried to block them from getting to Rachel, where all five of them were yelling.

The three ended up jumping onto the sofa as Rachel finally read the piece of paper.

"What is this?" Rachel questioned.

Worried, Zara hurried to her as she saw the pros and cons list.

"This is... That's, that's...uh...." Chandler panicked.

"Ross, what is this?" Rachel demanded.

"Thank you."

"Good luck."

Both Chandler and Joey were gone, far too quick to leave that only ignited Zara's anger. Right now, though, her main focus was Rachel.

"Do you want me to stay?" Zara offered.

"It's okay," Rachel reassured. "I'll be fine."

Zara squeezed Rachel's hand in silent support before shooting Ross one last glower and then Zara left too.

♡

Zara had returned for her jacket, briefly telling Monica and Phoebe what had happened before she headed out, insisting she was just going for a walk. Right now, she didn't want to see Chandler.

Though, eventually, she returned to the coffee house, believing she was ready to talk to Chandler about what had happened.

"I cannot believe Ross even made this list," said Phoebe.

"I know," Monica agreed.

"What a dinkus," Phoebe said.

"Hey, cut him some slack," Joey defended his friend. "It was Chandler's idea."

"What?" Zara demanded, voice coming through louder than Monica and Phoebe.

The group turned, spotting Zara behind them as Joey's eyes popped wide again, knowing he had accidentally stirred things. Chandler, though, looked horrified as his gaze remained on his girlfriend.

"Zara..."

"Why would you even think of something like that?" Zara questioned, hating how quiet she sounded as if it was obvious that she was upset.

Afraid that someone would see her break, Zara hurried to leave. Her fists had curled, the nails digging into the palm of her hands to stop herself from getting upset.

"Zara!" Chandler shouted, hurrying after her.

Ignoring him, Zara carried on until his hand caught her arm, causing Zara to pause. Turning, Zara looked up at her boyfriend with fiery eyes, far too angry to even speak.

"I don't want to talk to you right now," Zara told him.

"It was a stupid idea," Chandler told her. "I'm sorry, Zara."

"I hope you weren't foolish enough to make a list about me," Zara said.

Chandler's hold on her loosened, becoming silent.

Seeing his reaction, Zara felt the sting of tears, but she didn't let them fall. Instead, she laughed — more at herself than Chandler — because Zara had fallen into the trap again.

So, Zara pulled away from Chandler's hold, not wanting him to see her break.

"Zara, please," Chandler pleaded.

"I don't want to talk to you right now."

Leaving, Zara headed back to the apartment, where she found herself knocking on Rachel's bedroom door. Rachel answered, hearing that it was Zara, and she opened the door in surprise.

"Zara, what's wrong?" Rachel asked.

"Chandler wrote a list about me too."

The words caused the tears to topple down Zara's cheeks as Rachel pulled her friend into her arms, where the two disappeared into the bedroom with the door closing. Zara felt foolish for crying over a boy (again) and over something so ridiculous of a list.

All Zara had ever done was weigh up her life between the pros and cons, always seeing herself as the con. Now, here she was with the one person she thought she could truly be herself around, and he had still seen the worst parts about her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Rachel offered, unsure of what Zara needed.

"No," Zara decided. "I need to get drunk."

"Are you sure?" Rachel questioned.

But Zara didn't have a chance to do anything.

A knock echoed on the door. "Zara?"

Hearing Chandler, Zara flinched, struggling to hide the tears.

"I'll get rid of him," Rachel suggested.

"No, it's fine," Zara decided, wiping any traces of her tears.

"Zara, please talk to me," Chandler pleaded. "I know you're in there."

Standing from the bed, Zara moved towards the bedroom door, where she opened it, seeing her boyfriend on the other end. The expression on Chandler's face was one that Zara had never seen before: full of regret and devastation.

Behind him, everyone was eager to head into Monica's bedroom, wanting to give them space.

"I made the list a long time ago, Zara," Chandler told her. "It was stupid and I made it out of fear, but it only reminded me of how much I wanted to be with you."

"What was on the cons side, Chander?" Zara demanded.

"That doesn't matter," Chandler insisted. "All that matters is the good. All that matters is us, right?"

Zara felt the words in her heart, but they came with the cracks splintering now. The doubt and fear had returned, suffocating Zara as if she was drowning.

"You knew how I felt about myself," said Zara, trying to keep her voice even. "I opened up to you."

"I know," Chandler said. "I made the list before everything."

"It doesn't matter when you made it," Zara told him. "You still made it, Chandler. I thought you were different from every other person I've been with. I thought..."

Zara laughed because she had been so blind and naive.

It was all happening again: Zara would fall too deep with her feelings, believing that person was the one who understood her to only end up proving that they were nothing more than a promise of heartbreak. This time, though, Zara was the one in control — she would not be left.

"I never thought you would let me down like everyone else," Zara whispered. "I thought you were different."

Zara could see Chandler's heart breaking through his eyes as he realised.

"Don't," Chandler pleaded. "I can fix this."

"This is over," Zara told him — told herself.

And Zara closed the door, feeling something deep inside her that she tried to ignore break too. Zara felt numb, a little lost as she turned, wide eyes falling on Rachel, who had a hand to her mouth.

"Oh, honey," said Rachel.

"I'm fine," Zara insisted. "This is fine."

But, it was the bedroom door opening, revealing Monica and Phoebe with a bottle of wine and four glasses. Zara let out a long breath, feeling the burn of tears, finding it hard to let them fall.

♡

I'm not crying😭 nah, I'm actually so devastated that it's over between Chandler and Zara (kind off), but lots and lots of drama to come, as well as a love triangle or possibly a square? I'm honestly leaning more towards Chandler right now, but who knows!