♡

THE ONE WITH TWO BROKEN HEARTS.

♡

No matter how hard Zara tried, she could not avoid Chandler. Even if her ex-boyfriend was not personally there, Chandler was still very much in her heart and memories.

For the majority of the time, Zara had hidden in her bedroom with the excuse of writing to avoid any confrontations. All Zara needed was some time to master her poker face before she saw Chandler again.

Though, Zara had not been ready to bump into Chandler in the hallway a few days later. Of course, living opposite Chandler, it had a high chance of happening.

Meeting Chandler's sad gaze, Zara paused, lost for words. A thousand emotions had erupted in her heart.

"Zara..."

"Please don't," Zara pleaded. "I just need time."

"Time for?" Chandler asked.

"For things to go back to normal," said Zara. "Back to us being friends again."

Chandler pressed his lips together, hands shoving deep into the pockets of his coat as his eyes diverted from Zara, clearly upset. It caused another crack to take root deep inside Zara's heart, but she was terrified.

"What if I don't want to be friends?" Chandler questioned.

"Oh," Zara tried to keep her face expressionless. "I thought we started this relationship agreeing that we'd always be friends."

"That was before..."

"Before what?" Zara pressed.

"Please let me fix this," Chandler said instead. "Please don't run."

Zara wanted to try, but there was that suffocating feeling that if she let this carry on, then the next time the heartbreak would be unbearable. Right now, this felt like an escape — a painful, heartbreaking escape, but one Zara could survive.

"I'm leaving," Zara told him instead.

"Leaving?" Chandler questioned, frowning.

"For the holidays," explained Zara, shoving her hands in her pockets too, unknowing how to act. "A friend from work has a cabin upstate that's empty, so I'm gonna go there to work on my book."

"Alone?" Chandler realised. "At Christmas?"

"I've never been bothered about the holidays," Zara reminded him. "You know that."

"I know you, Zara," Chandler told her softly.

Zara shrugged, hating that Chandler saw straight through her. Maybe Zara hated being alone, and the holidays were a reminder of that, but some time away would perhaps smooth things over without ruining anything further.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Chandler asked.

"Positive," Zara forced a smile.

And, with a hushed goodbye, Zara slipped past Chandler and into her apartment.

Though, for Zara, Christmas was spent with a few beers and her old laptop. It was lonely and depressing, the complete opposite of how Zara felt the previous month. Yet, even though this had been Zara's decision, Monica and Joey had continuously called to check in on her.

Zara knew she was distancing herself from everyone, but she didn't want them to see how distraught she truly felt. Most of all, Zara felt foolish for being so naive again, believing someone cared about her enough.

Zara should have known that she was never enough for someone to stay.

And now Zara was terrified again.

After the holidays, Zara had been welcomed home by Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe, where she had been surprised to find a welcome home banner and the Christmas decorations still up. Seeing that, Zara fell speechless, having not expected it.

"What...?" Zara couldn't find the words.

"You missed Christmas with us," said Phoebe. "So we put together a second Christmas for you."

"We have beer and I have Christmas dinner cooking," Monica continued, gesturing to the kitchen, where Zara could see the turkey in the oven. "There are presents too."

Rachel held up a cocktail shaker proudly. "And I've been making cocktails."

"You did all this for me?" Zara whispered.

"Of course we did," Monica said.

"Christmas wasn't the same without you," Phoebe added.

"What about the guys?" Zara asked.

"They're out," Rachel replied.

Zara pressed her lips together, knowing it had been arranged on purpose with Chandler. But, even with the guys missing, Zara still felt her heart glow, having never expected anyone to do something like this for her.

So, Zara ended up having a good evening, sharing what work she had gotten done at her friend's cabin before they had moved on to the cocktails and the dinner that Monica had made. Then, after dinner, the presents came with Zara touched by every present she received from her friends.

Though, Zara held a can of coke in confusion.

"Joey and Chandler," Rachel explained. "But we all got presents like that."

"Actually," said Monica, passing a gift bag over to Zara as she stared down at it. "This one is from Chandler too."

Zara felt her heart ache, unknowing if she wanted the present or not. There was silence as Zara found the nerve to reach into the bag, pulling out a wrapped-up item that was a little large and heavy. Confused, Zara's eyebrows knitted together as she removed the tissue paper.

There was a baby pink jewellery box; seeing it, Zara stopped breathing for a second. Opening it up, there was a little ballerina inside as Zara winded up the back of the box, hearing the delicate tune as the ballerina started to spin.

"Oh, it's so sweet," Phoebe said.

"Chandler got you a jewellery box?" Rachel questioned. "Why?"

"Because I told him how much I wanted a jewellery box just like the other girls in my school to put my mood rings in," said Zara, smiling at the silly childhood memory. "A fancy one that played music just like this."

Lifting up the top layer of the box, Zara was surprised to find a small bag. Inside the bag was a mood ring as Zara laughed, finding the present ridiculous but enough to cause her heart to glow.

"For someone who got us all presents at the petrol station," said Monica. "Chandler really did put a lot of thought into your present."

"He made your childhood dream come true," Phoebe said. "I knew my good feeling about him wasn't wrong."

"What do you mean?" Zara questioned.

"Honey, don't you see," Monica said softly, moving closer to place her hand on Zara's hand that held onto the jewellery box. "Chandler's in love with you."

"No, he's not," Zara insisted. "It never got that far between us."

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked.

"I've never seen Chandler heartbroken like this before," Monica explained. "But, even though he's hurting, all he cares about is how you're doing. And you, Zara, you fled from the city."

"I went to go write—"

"I know, I know," Monica replied.

"Do you love him?" Phoebe asked.

Zara felt something thick block her throat, startled by the question. Suddenly, everything felt sticky as if Zara was being exposed. Ever since breaking up with Chandler, Zara's heart hadn't felt the same.

"You do love him," Rachel realised.

"It doesn't matter what I feel," Zara said instead. "Chandler still wrote that list."

"Zara, he wrote it a year ago before the two of you were even together," Monica told her, though Zara didn't want to hear it. "Maybe it was foolish, but he's grown since then."

"And yet he gave the same advice to Ross," Zara pointed out.

"Is a list worth losing what you have?" Phoebe questioned.

Zara looked over to Rachel, who was silent. Though, while Rachel and Ross had never been together, they had ended their relationship before it had even begun over it.

"I don't want to be hurt," Zara quietly confessed.

Though, right now, she was hurting.

♡

EPISODE TEN.

♡

Somehow, a sense of normality had returned, where Zara found a fake version of herself around her friends and Chandler too. Maybe Zara was in love and heartbroken, but she was determined to be unaffected by it any longer.

Still, the jewellery box remained on Zara's side, and the ridiculous childish ring on her finger was constantly green with her mixed emotions.

"Joey, would you slow down?" Rachel asked their friend. "They're not going to be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning."

"I'm excited," Joey announced, picking up a paper. "I've never gotten reviewed before."

"You were so amazing as the king," Monica told him. "I'm really impressed. I was."

"Although, you know what?" Phoebe added. "You might want to consider wearing underwear next time. Yeah, 'cause when you sat down on your throne, you could kind of see your... royal subjects."

"I don't know," said Zara, flicking through the paper. "Not everyone had binoculars to be able to see."

Joey frowned at her as Zara smirked, keeping busy as she read the page.

"You promised you'd be nice," Joey complained.

"This is me being nice," Zara told him.

Joey's gaze fell down to the page he had turned to, spotting the review. "Here it is! Here it is!" The words caused the friends to gather with Zara very aware of how close Chandler was as she tried to ignore him. "The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction is Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly unskilled portrayal of the king."

"Okay, look," Chandler was quick to cheer Joey up. "That is one guy's opinion. All right? Pheebs, read yours."

"Okay," said Phoebe, starting to read. "The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction..."

"Does anybody have one from a different paper?" Chandler questioned loudly. "Ross, read yours."

"I don't want to," Ross decided.

With that, Joey started to sulk as he sat down on the edge of the pavement. Even Zara's heart went out to him, feeling bad.

"Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about," Rachel told him.

"Yeah," Ross agreed.

"Maybe they do," Joey argued. "I've been doing this ten years and I haven't gotten anywhere. There's got to be a reason."

"Come on, man," Ross said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You're just paying your dues."

"No, no, no," said Joey. "It's too hard. It's not worth it. I quit."

"Over a couple of reviews?" Zara questioned. "No way. You know what, I'll just pay them a visit and make them change their review."

"No, don't do that," Joey said.

"Wait, wait," Monica cut in. "Wait one minute. Wait a minute. I believe this will change your mind. In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiani was able to achieve brilliant new levels of..." Monica turned the page as they were all eagerly anticipating the positive review. "Continued on 153. Sucking."

Hearing that, Zara sighed.

♡

Zara had made a habit of staying at school after work longer than she needed to as she finished up her jobs for the day before working on her novel a little. Maybe she was still avoiding Chandler as much as possible.

Though, as she returned home that night, she walked in on fun Bobby and Monica sharing a moment again.

"Oh," said Zara. "Don't mind me."

Fun Bobby grinned at her after. "Zara, you're here! Now I don't want to leave."

"You're home late again," Monica noticed.

"Just busy," Zara replied, forcing a smile.

Then, fun Bobby was leaving with everyone saying goodbye. As Zara headed further into the apartment, she placed her work bag with her laptop on the sofa, very aware of Chandler's gaze on her. Looking over at him, he was quick to look away.

"Fun Bobby is so great," Phoebe insisted.

"Oh, isn't he?" Monica agreed. "You know, I really think this time it may work with him. He makes me feel so good and I've been feeling so lousy the last couple of months — no job, no boyfriend. At least my cup is half full."

Zara was happy for Monica, but she turned away to the fridge as she helped herself to a drink as more of a distraction than anything.

"Half full of love," Phoebe said teasingly.

There was some laughter at that as Zara turned again to face her friends, briefly catching Chandler's stare as the two were quick to avert their gazes again.

"And for our two-week anniversary he's going to take me to his cousin's cabin for the weekend," Monica told them.

"Cabin of love," Phoebe said.

"We went through a lof wine tonight, you guys," Rachel said.

"Really?" Monica questioned. "I only had two glasses."

"I just had a glass," Joey said.

"Two," Phoebe added.

"I had one glass," Rachel confirmed.

"I had a mugful in this lovely 'I got boned at the museum of natural history' mug."

"Okay, that's what two bottles?" Rachel realised. "And, yet, somehow we went through five?"

"Chandler, you sure..." Joey said.

"No, I swear," Chandler said. "It was just that one night, Joe."

Zara pressed her lips together at that, having heard that Chandler ended up a little wine-drunk after their break up, where he was new to the whole experience. Even after multiple break-ups, Zara still found this one the worst in different ways than Derek.

Though, with the realisation that it wasn't Chandler, all eyes fell on the front door.

"Oh," everyone realised with Joey late to join.

"So what?" Monica questioned. "So he drank a lot tonight."

"Yeah, but now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen fun Bobby without a drink in his hand," Ross said as they were all starting to notice.

"Yeah," said Phoebe standing. "And oh, yeah, you know, did you notice how he always starts his stories with 'okay, I was so wasted' or 'we were so bombed', or 'so I wake up and I'm in this dumpster in Connecticut."

"Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?" Joey asked.

"Well, we just happen to got to a lot of places where you might drink," Monica answered, trying to find some normality to it. "I mean, how do you go to a wine tasting without having a drink? Or to a club, or to the...zoo?"

The following day, Zara ended up bumping into Chandler and Joey on the way down to the coffee house. Trying for things to go back to normal, Zara smiled as she greeted the two.

"Hey, you're still wearing your ring," Chandler noticed.

"Oh, that," said Zara looking down at it. "Yeah, it's stupid to wear, but the kids at school like it. It's kind of helping us to openly discuss emotions as I hand it to the kids to encourage them to talk."

"Then it's not stupid, is it?" Chandler told her with a smile.

"No," Zara realised. "It's a really sweet present, along with the jewellery box. I know I've already said it, but you really didn't have to."

"Zara, I wanted to," Chandler insisted.

"Well, thanks," Zara said again.

A silence hung between them that was awkward as Joey was there too, staying with them for support, but also giving them space. Zara ended up shoving her hands in her leather jacket, finding her heart torn.

Though, in the coffee house, the awkwardness started to fade as the two guys perked up.

"Guess who's back in show business?" Chandler announced.

"Oh! Oh!" Phoebe responded. "Lorne Greene?"

"No, no, Pheebs," Chandler replied to Phoebe. "You know why? 'Cause he's dead."

"Oh, no," Phoebe reacted.

"Okay, I guess it's going to seem kind of bittersweet now," said Chandler. "But Joey, that's who!"

"What?" Zara gasped, looking at Joey. "Why didn't you say?"

"Oh, really?" Everyone else responded.

"My agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives," Joey informed them.

They all gasped, so happy for him.

"Kick ass!" Phoebe exclaimed. "We have to celebrate. You know what we should do? We should do like a soap opera theme."

"Hey, yeah," said Chandler. "We could all sleep together and then one of us could get amnesia."

That caused Zara to flinch, choosing to squeeze in on the sofa next to Phoebe, who offered her a supportive smile.

"Hey, Rach, what time do you get off?" Phoebe asked. "We're all going to do something tonight."

"Um, well, actually, I'm already done but I've kind of got plans."

Monica gasped. "You have other friends?"

"How dare you," Zara added.

"Yeah," said Rachel. "I, uh, I have...I have a date."

"What?"

"With a man?"

"What?" Rachel replied to them, ignoring Joey's question. "What is so strange about me having a date?"

"What about Ross?" Joey questioned. "Are you still mad at him 'cause he made that list about you?"

"No, no, I'm not mad at him," Rachel said, walking around the sofa with Zara feeling tense at the conversation as Phoebe's hand fell to her arm in silent support. "I'm not really anything at him anymore."

"What are you talking about?" Monica asked.

"I don't know," Rachel replied. "I... whatever I was feeling, I'm...not."

"But you guys came so close," Phoebe insisted.

"Oh, I know," said Rachel. "I'm sorry, you guys. You're just going to have to get used to the fact that I will not be dating Ross."

Zara crossed her arms over her chest, unknowing how to react anymore. It seemed that friends getting together was never a good idea.

"Here he is," Rachel noticed, looking happy as she reached her date. "Hi. Guys, this is Russ."

Turning in her seat, Zara's eyes fell on Rachel's date. Though, her mouth parted, as all she could see was the double of Ross.

"Hi," Russ greeted them, sounding like Ross.

No one quite knew what to say.

♡

Zara found herself ditching more than she had wanted to. While she was trying, Zara still found it hard to be around Chandler, so she wasn't sure what to do. One half of her wanted to avoid seeing Chandler completely, but the other half wanted their friendship group to stay the same.

Being first in, it was Zara who needed to stay away to give it space.

"Zar?" Monica questioned, knocking on the bedroom door.

"Come in!" Zara called out.

"Honey," said Monica, opening the door. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Zara questioned.

"We haven't seen you much lately," Monica replied, sitting on Zara's bed. "You know, it's okay if you're still struggling with your breakup."

"I'm not—"

"I know you, Zara," Monica said. "You don't have to be alone with this."

Zara sighed, closing her laptop as she pulled up her knees to her chest. This time, the breakup was the worst because it felt like Zara had lost her best friend.

"I thought I was there," Zara said. "I keep thinking that we'll go back to normal, but what felt normal was us being together, and now..." Tears appeared in Zara's eyes, the heartbreak starting to emerge as Zara tried to drown it. "Everyone always leaves me, Mon, and I couldn't let Chandler do that to me — not when he had a list of reasons to go."

Monica moved closer to Zara, wrapping her arms around her friend.

"Chandler's still here," Monica told her. "Every day, he asks me about you. You could still figure things out."

Zara shook her head, trying to wipe the tears from her eyes. "What I feel for him, I'm too scared," whispered Zara. "This is for the best; Chandler deserves better than me."

It was the list that had gotten to Zara's head, where all she could see were reasons why Chandler would leave her, which had ignited the white flag to surrender and flee.

"You and Chandler deserve each other," Monica told her, holding onto Zara. "You'll see that when you're ready to. If you don't want Chandler coming over, then I'll talk to him."

"No," Zara pleaded. "Please. Make sure he knows that he's still welcome."

"I will," Monica promised.

The following weekend, Zara found control of her emotions again. No one questioned her random disappearances for long periods of time. Though, each time she joined the friends again, Chandler's eyes were on her.

Zara knew he felt guilty for being there, but he also knew that she would be angry if he started vanishing on his friends because of her. Somehow, they would find a balance to figure things out.

"Did Joey say what he was going to do when he left?" Rachel asked, catching up on the Joey drama with him needing to sleep with the casting director to get the role.

"No," Chandler answered. "I don't even think he knew. Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?"

"I don't know," Rachel replied, looking up since Chandler had walked over to her. "Who would I have to sleep with?"

"Me," Chandler suggested.

Rachel tried not to laugh. "Why would I have to sleep with you?"

"It's my game," Chandler stated. "You want the job, or not?"

"Hi," Monica greeted them, holding her overnight bag.

"Hey."

"Morning."

"Where are you going?" Ross asked.

Opposite where Zara sat, Monica placed the blue overnight bag on the table. "Bobby and I are going away for the weekend, remember?"

"Oh, how exciting," Zara smiled.

Though, Monica picked up a bag of small bottles of alcohol to pack into her bag.

"What's all the bottles of liquor?" Phoebe asked.

"What's going on?" Ross added. "Is Bobby drinking again?"

"No, this is not for him; this is for me," Monica told them. "That way he's still sober, but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing."

There were three slow knocks on the door.

"God, even his knock is boring," Rachel said.

"Hi," Monica greeted Bobby after opening the door. "I'll be ready in just a second."

"Could I talk to you for a minute?" Bobby asked.

"Sure," Monica replied.

"Oh, no," said Zara, worried as she exchanged a look with Ross and Phoebe.

While Monica was outside, Rachel and Chandler moved closer to them, anxiously waiting for their friend's return. But, of course, it had promoted final bets to be made. When Monica returned, they all had a gut feeling about what had happened.

"What happened?" Rachel asked.

"Well, we kind of broke up," Monica said.

"Oh..." they all replied.

Notes were passed around with Zara winning as she tried to hide her smile.

"Does anybody want these?" Monica asked, holding up her bag of liquor.

"I'll take one," said Chandler. "Sometimes I like to hold stuff like this and pretend I'm a giant."

Zara's eyes were downcast, but she was smiling.

Then, the front door opened with Joey joining them.

"How'd the callback go?" Ross asked.

"It was unbelievable," said Joey, sounding unhappy. "I walked in there and she was all over me."

"So, what'd you do?" Chandler questioned.

"I couldn't do it," Joey replied. "I told her I didn't want to get the part that way."

"Good for you," Ross responded.

"But wait, wait, wait."

"There it is," said Zara.

"But then after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part."

"So, and?" Phoebe questioned.

"So, you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramoray, Neurosurgeon recurring in at least four episodes!"

They all cheered, truly ecstatic for Joey.

"All right, I got to go shower."

Again, the money was passed around with bets having been made on Joey sleeping with the casting director to get the job or not. Zara grinned, feeling that maybe everything would return to how it had once been.

♡

EPISODE ELEVEN.

♡

To support Joey, the friends gathered to watch the first episode that Joey was playing a character in. Zara was eating popcorn as she watched, being absorbed into the hospital drama.

"This is so cool, you're actually going to be on television," said Ross.

"I know," Joey, who was sitting on the coffee table, turned with a smile on his face. "It really hit me last night. I'm going to be on Days of Our Lives. And then I started thinking about all of us, and how these are the days of our lives. You know."

"Deep, Joey," Zara commented.

But Zara's life truly could be as dramatic as the television show — after all, her ex was sitting on the chair next to her, where neither of them could bring themselves to look at the other.

"Yes!" Monica cried out.

"What?" They all responded.

"Carol and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend," Monica told them while smiling. "And she's in a full-body cast."

"Yes!" They all cried out too, seeing the good in that.

"They want me to do it, which is really cool seeing as I've never catered before and I really need the money, and..." then, Monica suddenly remembered Ross. "This isn't a problem for you, is it?"

"Would it matter?" Ross replied.

Monica hugged him. "Oh, you're so great. Thank you."

"Are you really not going?" Joey asked Ross.

"I'm really not going," Ross confirmed. "I mean, I don't get it. They already live together. Why do they need to get married?"

"Because they love each other," Monica replied. "And they want to celebrate that love with the people that are close to them."

"If you want to call that a reason," said Ross.

"Who's the bitterest man in the living room," Chandler sang, returning to the living room to join them again. "The bitterest man in the living room." Then, he sat down again, grinning at Ross. "Hi neighbour."

"Ross, I thought you were over this," Monica said.

"That has nothing to do with this, okay?" Ross responded. "She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you would expect me to be there."

"Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be, like, the worst lesbian ever," Joey said. "Kind of like Zara."

Zara glared at him, seeing his smirk as she knew he was just trying to provoke her. "Joey, you were the one with hundreds of questions about my sexuality," she told him. "Unlike Ross, I'm rather excited about the wedding."

Joey grinned. "I bet you are."

Though, once again, Zara was very aware of Chandler's gaze, who didn't realise that she was all talk. Moving on already was the last thing Zara needed, but maybe a little flirt would do her good.

"Did I miss it? Did I miss it?" Rachel entered the apartment, shouting.

"No, no," Joey reassured her. "I'm on right after this guy shoots himself."

Preparing herself, Zara carried on eating the popcorn, passing some to Rachel.

"Woah, she's pretty," Chandler commented.

"Yeah," Joey and Zara agreed.

"Oh, and she's really nice too," Joey added. "She taught me all about, you know, how to work with the cameras and 'smell the fart' acting."

"Huh..."

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

"It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one," Joey explained. "So while you're thinking of it, you take this long big pause, where you look all intense. You know, like this." To show them, Joey created the face as Zara raised her eyebrows.

There was a mixture of responses, but the man shot himself on the TV.

"Oh, here's my scene! Here's my scene!"

Turning the volume up, they all watched Joey's first scene on Days of Our Lives. Seeing him, there was a grin on her face, but Zara ended up having to eat the popcorn to hide her growing laughter at Joey's 'smell the fart' acting. Joey, though, was impressed with himself.

Afterwards, there was nothing but compliments for Joey, where even Zara didn't want to ruin the moment for him.

"You know, for a minute there, I thought you were actually trying to smell something," Chandler said.

They ended up getting Joey to react to the scene for them as the compliments and cheers continued, where they hyped up their friend more than anything.

"That's great," said Chandler, putting his coat back on. "Alright, I got to get to work. I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect."

"No, no," Ross cut in. "No, that's me."

"Oh, right," Chandler replied.

Though, as they opened the front door, Phoebe was standing there.

"Oh. Thanks," Phoebe responded to them. "I couldn't uh..."

Closing the door, Ross' attention was on Phoebe. "Is everything okay?"

"Um, no," Phoebe answered as they all stood, hurrying towards her in response. "One of my clients died on the massage table today."

"Oh my God," said Ross.

"That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get," Chandler said.

Joey pulled out the chair for Phoebe as she sat down. "Yeah, uh-huh. Um, she was, you know, eighty-two years old and, um, her name was, um, Mrs Adelman."

"Oh, honey," said Monica.

"Yeah, it's just so strange, I mean... You know, she probably woke up this morning and thought 'Alright, so I'll have some breakfast and I'll take a little walk and, and, you know, then I'll have my massage'. Little did she know God was thinking: 'okay, but that's it'."

No one could respond to that.

Phoebe stood again. "Oh! Oh, but the weirdest thing was, okay, um...I was cleansing her aura when it happened and when, when her spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far."

"What do you mean?" Rachel questioned.

"I, I, I think it went into me."

At that, everyone took a step back from Phoebe.

♡

Zara was very relieved that work was keeping her busy; it was enough of a distraction (as well as writing) to keep Chandler Bing from her mind. Though, every time she saw him, she was back to feeling sad and lost.

But it was starting to get easier being around her friends again, so Zara was starting to return to regularly seeing them all.

"And you had no idea they weren't getting along?" Ross questioned.

Apparently, Rachel's parents were getting a divorce. While Zara was clueless on how to react, she knew it was not a good thing.

"None," Rachel replied.

"They didn't fight a lot?" Joey asked.

"No," said Rachel. "They didn't even talk to each other. My God, how was I supposed to know they were having problems?"

"You know, in my day," said Phoebe in an accent next to Zara. "Divorce was not an option."

"Hey, look who's up," Joey said.

"Okay, you're all right," Zara decided. "This is creepy."

"Oh, I just can't believe this is happening," Rachel said. "I mean, when I was little, everybody's parents were getting divorced, you know. I just figured as a grown up, I wouldn't have to worry about this."

"Well, is there any chance you can look at this as flattering?" Monica asked. "I mean, she's doing it because she wants to be more like you."

"Well, then, you know," said Rachel. "Couldn't she have just copied my haircut?"

"You know, it's funny," Chandler spoke up. "When my parents got divorced, they sent me this shrink and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves, but in your case, it's actually kind of true."

"Chandler, really?" Zara responded.

"Oh, that's him," Phoebe said, noticing the elderly man enter the coffee house.

"Damn," said Chandler. "My mail-order grandfather hasn't come yet."

Phoebe and the man spoke with Phoebe trying to find out what the old woman wanted in the hope to help her pass on. Though, the old man mentioning that his wife would want Phoebe to sleep with him piqued Zara's interest, shocking her.

"I'm sorry," Phoebe responded. "There's laughing in my head."

The old man turned to Joey. "Worth a shot, huh?"

Zara knew with the upcoming wedding, Monica would be a raging storm that Zara wanted to avoid. That night, Zara's work friends had invited her over (Monica had approved, thinking it would do Zara good), so Zara ended up having cocktails with them.

Everyone knew about her breakup, but it didn't come up, and Zara appreciated that.

"So, you have that wedding tomorrow," said Annie, grinning as she held her cocktail. "Do you think it's rebound time?"

Hearing that, Zara frowned. "I don't know..."

"Is he going?" Betty asked.

"Chandler? Yeah, he is."

"Right," Annie replied, seeing how awkward it was. "You know, a change might be good. Show Chandler that you don't need him."

"A new you," Betty suggested.

"I don't think I need a rebound or a new me," Zara confessed. "I don't know what I need."

But, Zara needed something new and drastic to take the attention away from the fact that the recent news within the group was Zara and Chandler breaking up. Maybe she did need a change to be able to start the process of healing.

Spotting her face, Annie grinned. "You know, I studied hairdressing before I went into teaching."

Zara smiled at that, knowing the alcohol fueled her bravery to make the drastic cut.

When Zara returned home, a bomb had gone off in the kitchen with everyone cooking under the pressure of Monica. Though, upon seeing Zara, everyone had paused.

"Zara, your hair!" Phoebe gasped.

"Is it horrible?" Zara questioned, touching the short strands that fell just above her shoulder.

"No," Monica insisted. "It suits you."

"It's no longer straight," Joey commented.

"Turns out it goes a little wavy shorter," Zara confessed.

Very briefly, Zara's eyes fell on Chandler, who looked a little torn on whether to say anything or not. But, Zara looked away, knowing the change had been for herself rather than him.

"Alright people, gawking over Zara's new hair is over," said Monica, sleeping back into her authoritative tone. "We're in trouble here, so Zara, I hope you're sober enough to join. We've only got twelve hours and thirty-six minutes left. Move! Move! Move!"

"Monica, I feel like you should have German subtitles," Chandler told her.

Monica, though, had moved on to bully Joey. "Joey, speed it up!"

"I'm sorry! It's the pigs! They're reluctant to get in the blankets!"

"You should have stayed out," Chandler murmured to Zara.

"I feel like I need another drink or two for this," Zara confessed.

"Monica, how did this happen?" Phoebe questioned. "I thought you had this all planned out."

"Do you want me to cry?" Monica questioned, voice raising. "Is that what you want? Do you want to see me cry?"

"Sir, no, Sir," Phoebe responded.

"Zara, what are you doing?" Monica demanded. "Sit down and start chopping."

"Yes, Ma'am," Zara replied, not wanting to anger her friend.

"Alright, you," Monica moved on to Ross.

"What?" Ross responded. "No. Look, I told you. I am not a part of this thing."

Monica spoke to Ross, getting him involved.

"You should run while you still can," Phoebe advised Zara.

"I think it's too late," Zara said. "If I leave now, I could never return."

"Alright, ball a melon," Monica ordered Ross, who had given in.

"Hey, how come I'm stuck dicing when he gets to ball a melon?" Chandler complained.

There was a knock at the door as Monica rushed to get it. On the other end, Carol stood with an adorable hat on as she greeted Monica.

"Hi, how's it going?" Carol asked.

"Oh, it's going great, right on schedule," Monica promised. "Got my little happy helpers."

They all groaned in response.

"Well, that's fine," said Carol. "Whatever."

"What's the matter?" Ross noticed.

"Nothing," Carol insisted, but they could see it was a lie. "Okay, everything. I think we're calling off the wedding."

That caused a shock to ripple around the room with Zara's heart breaking for Carol.

"You're still going to pay me, right?" Monica questioned.

Ross turned to give his sister a warning glare.

"Or something a little less selfish," Monica said.

"Carol, what's the matter?" Ross followed her to the sofa. "What happened?"

"My parents called this afternoon to say they weren't coming," Carol confessed.

"Oh my God," Ross responded.

Zara stopped cutting, eyes falling on Carol. Maybe that was her one relief of not having parents: she didn't have the sense of dread about coming out to them, thinking that she'd end up being abandoned for who she is.

"I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but...but they're my parents, I mean, they're supposed to give me away and everything."

"Okay," said Ross. "I'm sorry."

Chandler handed Zara a beer, offering her a small smile as she accepted it.

"And then Susan and I got in this big fight," Carol continued. "'Cause I said maybe we should call off the wedding and then she said, we're not doing this for them, we're doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that then maybe we should call off the wedding and I don't know what to do."

"I, uh, can't believe I'm going to say this but I think Susan's right," said Ross.

"You do?" Carol questioned.

"Look, do you love her?" Ross asked. "And you don't have to be too emphatic about this."

"Of course, I do."

"Well, then, that's it," Ross told her. "And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, I mean...if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Alright, look this is your wedding. Do it."

Carol laughed. "You're right. Of course, you're right."

"So we're back on?" Monica questioned.

"We're back on," Carol confirmed.

"You heard the woman," Monica shouted. "Peel. Chop. Devil."

They were quick to return to their duties with alcohol fueling them.

"I can't believe I lost two minutes!"

♡

With a glass of champagne, Zara found herself a little nervous to be at a wedding. The ceremony had been sweet, where Zara was happy for Susan and Carol, but Zara felt a little out of place being here.

Though, Zara knew her look had made an impact. While she could never outshine the brides, Zara had worn a black long dress that revealed her legs through a slit. There was red on her lips, reminding herself that the lipstick would remain on tonight.

"Hey," said a voice next to Zara, joining her from where she stood at the side of the dancefloor.

Looking over, Zara's eyes fell on an attractive brunette in a pale blue dress. Knowing what was about to happen, Zara sipped at her drink, unknowing if she wanted this.

The brunette held up a plate with a small round dessert. "Would you like a kiwi cheesecake?"

Zara smiled. "I'm sorry, I'm allergic."

"Are you?" The brunette replied, shocked. "God, I'm so sorry. I was looking for a reason to come speak to you, not to kill you."

"It's okay, you wouldn't have known," Zara reassured her, though her heart pounded, not ready for the next step, but she wanted to try. "I'll happily accept a drink, though."

"That I can do," said the brunette. "I'm Tammy, by the way."

"Zara," she introduced herself.

The two headed to the bar with Zara changing from champagne to a beer. Already, Zara had sipped at the bottle, feeling her heart pound.

"You seem a little nervous," Tammy noticed.

"I broke up with my boyfriend not too long ago," Zara admitted. "It's still..."

"Hey, I get it," Tammy said. "My girlfriend broke up with me the other month too. You're actually the first girl I've tried speaking to since — hence almost killing you."

Zara laughed at that. "Well, I'm very flattered."

Tammy moved closer to Zara, fingers a light touch on her arm. "You know," said Tammy, leaning closer to a mute Zara (usually she was the active flirt). "Maybe this doesn't have to be anything."

"Clearly, you want it to be something," Zara told her, finding a grin as her head slightly turned, becoming very close to the woman.

"One night with a beautiful woman sounds like the perfect something to me," Tammy insisted. "Maybe I could see you tonight? I'm staying at the hotel just down the street from here..."

"Just the one night?" Zara questioned.

"Just the one night," Tammy promised.

Tammy had told Zara the meeting spot before vanishing, leaving Zara staring after her. Letting out a sigh, Zara finished off her beer, not trusting the desire. As much as she wanted to, her heart ached at the thought.

Then, as she turned, her eyes fell on Chandler. He was watching her with a mixture of emotions, having witnessed the whole encounter. Trying to force his own bravery, Chandler joined Zara at the bar.

"She was pretty," Chandler commented.

"Yeah, she was," Zara agreed. "There's a lot of attractive women here today, it's a little overwhelming."

Chandler's eyes were on her again like they always were.

"Yeah, but none of them are you."

"Chandler," Zara warned him.

"You know I think you're beautiful," Chandler told her, though his fingers reach upwards, touching the shorter stands of her hair. "I love the haircut too. You really do look incredible, Zara. You always do."

Zara longed for him — no matter how hard she tried to suffocate the feelings, she couldn't quite get over Chandler Bing. Now, here he was, reigniting those feelings as she fought the urge to fall again.

But, that night, as the clock ticked towards eleven to when Zara was supposed to meet Tammy, she couldn't bring herself to.

♡

I really do miss happy Zara and Chandler being together while being oblivious. Do you think they'll confess their feelings to each other and fix things or just carry on running from it?