♡

THE ONE WHERE JOEY CONFESSES.
EPISODE SEVENTEEN.

♡

For a week, Zara and Joey had not spoken about that night. It was something Zara was hoping would just vanish before any more trouble started, but every time she looked at Joey, he was there, staring at her with a puppy-struck look.

But it's Joey. Zara was certain he'll find some other woman to get over whatever he's started feeling for her, and Zara was hoping someone would pop up, enough to distract her.

"Guys, I thought you were taking Ross to the game," Monica said as the three came into the coffee house, expecting it to be just them.

"We are," said Chandler. "He's meeting us here."

"No, Rachel is meeting us here," Monica told them.

"Oh, come on," said Phoebe. "They can be in the same room."

"Yeah," Zara agreed. "Chandler and I managed."

"Yeah, you should've been there last night," Joey said.

"Why?" Phoebe questioned. "What happened now?"

"Well, Ross was hanging out at our place," explained Joey. "Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler—"

"Hey, Joe, would you...?" Chandler responded. "How hard is it to say something? Rachel came over to borrow...something?"

"Anyway," Joey continued. "Her and Ross just started yelling at each other."

"Why was he yelling at her?" Phoebe asked. "He's the one who slept with someone else."

"Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened that she should've forgiven him by now," Joey said.

"Whoa," exclaimed Phoebe. "He's so unreasonable. God! Although, I think I understand what he means."

"Even if it was just a drunken mistake," said Zara, refusing to look at Joey or Chandler. "It's still awful timing — the same night they take a break and on their anniversary."

"Oh my God, this is like sixty minutes," Phoebe said. "Okay, when at first you're really mad at the pharmaceutical company for making the drug, and then, you know, you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow."

"You know what this is like?" Chandler questioned. "This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesn't try to kidnap me after cub scouts."

"You know, I had a dream," Phoebe said. "That Ross and Rachel are still together. They never broke up. And we were all just, like hanging out. And everyone was happy."

"I had the same dream," Joey announced.

"Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl," Phoebe stated.

"Still the same dream," Joey grinned. "I was busy sleeping with—"

But, his eyes widened as Zara felt her heart fall out of her chest from fright, believing Joey was about to expose them. Even Monica had the same reaction with them being the only three to know the full truth about that night.

"Oh, wait," Joey recovered himself. "I guess I had the opposite dream."

"You know what?" Chandler moved on to everyone's relief. "Maybe it's going to be okay. I mean, it's been a week."

"Yeah, it's never taken me more than a week to get over a relationship," Joey said.

Did that mean he was over Zara?

With that thought, Zara wasn't sure if she wanted an answer.

"It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship," Monica corrected for him.

Joey shrugged, agreeing to that, which caused Zara to frown.

Rachel came into the coffee house with Monica being the first to spot her. "Okay, let's go. Let's hit the road. Let's get the show on it."

All three of them were ready to go, wanting to leave before Ross got here.

"Let me get a cup of coffee," Rachel told them.

"Oh, Rachel," said Monica. "I know the best coffee house and it's so close."

"Closer than here?" Rachel questioned.

"Hey, look, look," said Phoebe, taking a random coffee mug from a table. "I found coffee. Okay, let's skedaddle."

"Pheebs, I'm not going to drink somebody's old coffee," Rachel told her.

"Okay...your highness," Phoebe replied, taking the mug back.

Behind them, Ross came in as the broken up couple saw each other. There was a silence which was heavy for them all to experience, especially Zara, who didn't want to experience this with her friends.

Phoebe grunted. "Rachel, I'm really sorry. Uh, that's okay, Ross, you want to get back together? Yeah, okay. Did anyone else hear that?"

"Hear what?" Zara questioned.

♡

To Zara's surprise, preorders had dramatically increased with word spreading about her debut book. While Zara had thought she was finished with all the signings, another few boxes had arrived with Monica most likely going to freak out when she came home.

"Woah, more books?" Joey questioned, coming into the apartment.

"Yeah," said Zara. "I guess everyone wants a signed book."

"My mom preordered your book, so I wonder which one is hers."

Zara smiled at that. "Your mom didn't have to preorder, I would have given her a copy."

"That's what I said, but she insisted," Joey said, taking a seat next to Zara, falling into the habit of helping her now as Zara handed him a signed book to make a new pile. "Anyway, I, uh, wanted to talk to you."

Those words caused Zara's fingers to tighten around the pen she was holding, but she didn't let herself react. Joey wanted to talk could be about anything — not to do with them.

"About dinner?" Zara questioned, keeping her eyes focused on the book she was signing. "I thought we decided on Chinese..."

"Oh, I want Chinese," Joey confirmed. "I just, uh..."

Looking up, Zara caught his facial expression, and Joey seemed to feel more guilty than anything.

"What?" Zara asked.

"We have to tell Chandler," Joey told her.

Zara shook her head. "We don't. We just pretend it didn't happen."

"I can't keep this from him," said Joey, eyes softening that only made Zara feel the burning guilt deep inside her. "He's my best friend."

While Chandler and Zara had been broken up for over a year, she knew it was still crossing the line. Zara had slept with her ex's best friend and she wasn't sure how Chandler would react. After Ross and Rachel, it was more reason why Zara didn't want to ruin anything.

"Now's not a good time, Joey," Zara told him. "If we tell him — on top of everything that's going on with Ross and Rachel — how do you think he'll react?

"So we till him after then," Joey decided.

"No," Zara repeated. "I don't want to hurt anyone else."

"Not telling Chandler is hurting me," Joey stated.

Zara's heart felt tighter as she looked at him again, seeing the pain that Joey was in already, and now Zara wasn't sure if that was because of her dismissing anything romantic between them too.

But Zara wasn't sure what to do. The right thing, of course, was to come clean, but Zara was petrified that this would be the final reason that she'd lose Chandler. Now, if she didn't tell Chandler, then she was at risk of losing Joey too.

So, Zara reached across the table, placing her hand on Joey's.

"Please, Joe," said Zara. "I know I've screwed up, but I don't want to screw this up anymore."

"Zara, I did this too," Joey told her, moving his hand so that his hand was on top of Zara's, where his thumb was soft as it brushed against her skin. "I know you don't want to hear this, but that night wasn't a screw up to me. I want to do this right, Zara, and that means telling Chandler."

Zara's eyes were on their hands, taking it, and Joey's words, as confirmation that he had caught feelings. It was overwhelmingly suffocating with Zara clueless about how she was supposed to escape without hurting anyone.

But Zara started by pulling her hand away, and returning to her books.

"That night shouldn't have happened," Zara told him.

"Are you sure?" Joey asked, his voice tight, fearing the answer.

"I'm sure," Zara forced herself to say. "It was a mistake; we're friends, Joey."

And Joey stood up with Zara hearing the door close behind him, knowing that she was fracturing her friendships worse than Ross and Rachel were.

♡

Chinese that night came with just a hint of awkwardness. While Joey was still the same as ever, Zara could tell there was a difference too: for the first time, Zara wasn't catching Joey's stare that always followed with a smile or finding easy conversation with him.

It was devastating, but Zara hoped it wouldn't be permanent.

Come tomorrow, they would be back to normal again with the last week completely forgotten.

Though, Joey still seemed somewhat himself as he struggled to pick up his noddles with his chopsticks.

There was a knock on the front door as Chandler walked over to open it, finding Rachel on the other side.

"Is he here?" Rachel asked.

"Nope," Chandler told her.

"Oh, here's your moisturiser," Rachel told Chandler, handing him the bottle before she came into the apartment, heading towards the counter, where Phoebe, Monica, and Zara were sitting. "Hey! You guys are going to love me. Okay, check it out: Thursday night, six tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show and you guys are coming with me."

That caused the four to focus on their dinner, feeling awkward again.

"Okay, I said that out loud, right?" Rachel questioned.

"Yes, yes," said Chandler. "It's just that we...we kind of already made plans with Ross."

"Oh," Rachel realised. "Well, okay, Well, there you go."

"No, it's just that he got this new home theatre dealy and he wants us to check it out," Phoebe explained.

"He's really excited about it too," Chandler added. "Even recorded show times on his answering machine."

"We're sorry, honey," Monica told her.

"Yeah," said Zara, feeling bad for her.

"Oh, it's okay," Rachel said.

"Rach, it's not that we don't want to," Joey reassured her as Rachel headed for the front door. "Really. Are we talking about models in their underwear?"

"And heels," Rachel added.

Joey's mouth opened wide, turning to Chandler in the hope of permission, but Chandler shook his head, crushing Joey's dreams as he faced Rachel again. "Ross did ask us first and we set that night aside."

"No, hey, come on, you know," said Rachel. "If he asked you first, that's only fair."

Rachel left after that, which resulted in Chandler groaning.

"Oh, boy, do I feel bad," Phoebe said.

"Oh, yeah," Joey agreed.

"This will blow over, right?" Zara questioned, desperate for how things used to be.

"I don't know," said Monica. "This is very bad."

There was the flash of a light as Zara turned around, spotting Chandler lighting a cigarette.

"Chandler Bing!" Zara shouted.

"Chandler!" Monica joined in.

"Chandler, what are you doing?" Phoebe added.

"Oh my God!" Chandler responded, taking the cigarette from his mouth to pretend to be in shock.

"You're smoking again?" Joey demanded.

"Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again," said Chandler. "Today, I'm...I'm smoking still."

"Chandler, you had quit," Zara reminded him, devastated.

"But why would you start smoking again after chewing all that quitting gum?" Phoebe questioned.

"I'm telling you, this is just like my parent's divorce," Chandler told them. "Which is when I started smoking in the first place."

"Weren't you nine?" Monica questioned.

"Yeah," Chandler answered. "Zara was eight, so judge her instead of me!"

"I smoked one cigarette that I had stolen from my foster guardians," Zara clarified. "You were smoking at nine."

"I'm telling you something," Chandler smirked, not caring about their disappointment. "That first smoke after naptime..." There was a knock at the door with Chandler being the one to go answer it. "That's great, with my luck, that's going to be him."

Zara looked from Chandler to Joey, seeing how guilt-struck he was, but there was also a general concern. Telling Chandler now wasn't the best idea.

"Him? Him, Ross?" Phoebe questioned.

"No," Chandler answered. "Him, 253. His eyes are on the sparrow. When my parents got divorced is when I started using humour as a defence mechanism."

They already knew that, but Chandler's trauma was suddenly very evident.

Opening the door, Rachel joined them again. "Hi. Uh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold and she said that we could have her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? I'm asking you first, right? I mean, I'm playing by the rules."

"Yeah," they all agreed.

Chandler placed the cigarette back in his mouth with Rachel catching him. "Chandler! You're smoking? What are you doing?"

"Hey, shut up!" Chandler reacted. "You're not my real mom."

That caused Joey and Zara to share a look of concern.

There was no way Joey could tell Chandler now anyway.

♡

On Thursday, Chandler was smoking at the window at Ross' place. They were all sitting around and shivering with Zara being on the sofa next to Monica.

"Hey, can you close that window, Chandler?" Joey asked. "My nipples could cut glass over here."

"Wait, really," said Phoebe. "'Cause mine get me out of tickets."

"Look, you guys," Ross joined them in the living area. "I just want to say I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. It's been a pretty hard time right now, so I just want to say thanks."

"Can somebody else hug him?" Chandler questioned. "I have to stay by the window."

Zara's eyes narrowed on him. "You could always put out the cigarette and hug him."

"I think I'll stay," Chandler decided.

Monica was the one to hug her brother, which cheered him up a little. "Oh, hey, hey, huh? How about this weekend we have a laser disc marathon, okay? And maybe a tournament on my new...dart board, huh? Huh?" Even showing them the dart board didn't make them feel any better. "What do you think? Two days of darts. It'll be great."

The Irish accent at the end made Zara flinch. Monica had stood with everyone hoping she'd be the one to tell Ross that they already had plans.

"It'll be great for next weekend," Joey suggested.

"No, no, no," said Ross. "This weekend, guys."

"It'll be great for next weekend," Joey repeated. "I mean: it'll be great."

The Irish accent was enough to cause Zara to smile this time.

"What's going on?" Ross asked.

"We were, um..." Phoebe tried starting. "Sort of invited to go skiing. You know, Rachel's sister's cabin."

At that, Chandler lit another cigarette as Zara frowned in disapproval, but also because it was tempting her now too.

"So... for the whole weekend?" Ross realised.

"We're really sorry," Monica told him. "But, um...she did ask us first."

"Yeah, that's okay," Ross said. "I mean, if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend I'm alone by myself, you know. Totally, totally understand."

Zara wanted to point out that she went to a cabin alone during her breakup for the holidays and didn't guilt-trip anyone into going, but she stayed silent. But, of course, Zara did feel for Ross too, knowing how hard it was to be broken up with someone who was in the same friendship group.

"You know what?" Phoebe offered. "I could stay. I'm going to stay. 'Cause the last time I went skiing, I was too afraid to jump off the chair lift. I just went round and round."

"Pheebs, we kind of need you to drive everybody up there in your grandmother's cab," Joey reminded her. "But you know what? I'll stay."

"No, I'll stay," Monica decided, turning to Ross with a smile. "He's my brother."

"What, a pity stay?" Ross questioned.

"No," Monica told him. "We're going to have fun. We can make fudge."

"Pity food?" Ross didn't sound happy. "You know what, that's okay, all right? I don't need any of you to stay, okay? Nobody stays."

"Well, then I might as well offer to stay," Chandler realised.

"That makes me the only one who hasn't offered," Zara said. "So I'll stay."

Ross walked away from them all with Zara not blaming him.

♡

As the weekend came, Zara was squished in the back of the cab in between Monica and Joey. The two were suddenly aware of how close they were with the tension brewing, but their friendship had recently become strained, so that made it more awkward.

"Hey," Joey caught the attention of the three in the back. "Does anybody else feel bad about Ross?"

"Why?" Monica questioned. "Do you think he's still mad as us?"

"It is Ross," Zara pointed out.

"He's probably more mad since you called him this morning to borrow his goggles," Chandler reminded him.

"What?" Joey replied. "Mine aren't tinted."

Chandler placed the cigarette in his mouth with Zara facing away from him. Up front, Phoebe was already telling him to stop.

"What's wrong?" Joey whispered to her.

"Chandler," Zara told him. "I'm gonna start smoking again because of him."

"No," Phoebe told Chandler. "There's no smoking in my grandmother's cab."

Zara let out a long breath.

"Okay, well, then I have to go to the bathroom," Chandler announced.

That caused everyone to groan.

"No," Monica stated. "No unscheduled stops. You can go when we stop for gas."

"And no smoking at all," Zara decided, reaching across Monica as she plucked the cigarette from Chandler's mouth.

Next to Zara, Joey started winding the window down as she was quick to throw the cigarette out of the window with Chandler struggling to stop them.

"Why would you do that—"

"Because you shouldn't be smoking," Zara told him.

"Oh, come on," Chandler complained. "You're usually the cool one about this." Then, he looked out of the window, noticing lights in the distance. "There's a rest stop right up there. Come on, I really have to go."

It was a lie, they all knew it.

"Oh, now I have to go!" Joey exclaimed.

That cheered Chandler up as Zara sighed.

They ended up pulling into the rest stop with Chandle prewarning them about Phoebe's skills in stopping the car. Bracing herself, the car abruptly came to a stop, where it was a miracle there were no injuries.

Five out of six of them left the cab to go use the restrooms. But, when Zara returned from the toilet, she heard everyone shouting.

"My lighters in there!" Chandler exclaimed.

Quickly putting everything together, Zara realised that the cab door had shut with the keys still in the vehicle.

"Damn," said Chandler, still trying to light his cigarette. "The tailpipe's not hot enough to light this."

As he walked back over to them, Zara frowned at him. "What a shame."

"Relax, okay?" Joey advised them while they were too busy freezing to relax. "I can get this open. Anybody got a coat hanger?"

"Oh, I do," said Chandler, joking around. "Oh, no, wait a minute. I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning."

"So, if your parents hadn't got divorced," said Monica. "You'd be able to answer a question like a normal person?"

Chandler didn't answer that, but they were all wondering.

"Look, I just need a wire — something — to jimmy it," Joey said.

"If we had a crowbar, I could do it," Zara offered. "I was seeing a guy once who showed me how to steal a car."

"And you didn't stay with him? He sounds like a keeper," Chandler replied.

"Oh, hey..." Joey realised. "One of you guys give me the under-wire from your bra."

"What?" The four cried out.

"Come on, who has the biggest boobs?" Joey questioned as they all were shocked by the question, exchanging looks. "Whoever has the biggest boobs has the biggest bra, therefore has the biggest wire."

"No," they all protested.

"If you want to get back in the car, we need that wire," Joey told them. "Your call."

Zara sighed. "I don't have a bra on right now, so it can't be me."

"Uh, you don't?" Joey responded.

Zara shot him a warning look. "No, we're travelling, so I wanted to be comfortable."

"Okay, Monica's are the biggest," Phoebe said.

Monica gasped. "These tiny little no-breasts? Please! It's got to be Rachel."

"What? No, no, no," Rachel replied. "Mine are deceptively small. I mean, I actually sometimes stuff my bra."

"Okay, well, then your bra would still be big," Monica pointed out.

"No, I stuff... outside the bra," Rachel explained, but it didn't make any sense.

"Ladies, ladies," said Chandler. "Let's just compromise, okay? Phoebe, Rachel, take off Monica's bra."

"Oh, forget it," said Phoebe in response. "You can have mine."

Phoebe struggled to remove her bra from under her layers as Chandler threw his packet of cigarettes.

"Chandler, what are you doing?" Rachel demanded. "There is a trash can right there."

"Well, I thought if I littered, that crying Indian woman might come by and save us," Chandler told them.

"Okay, there," Phoebe said, handing Joey her blue bra.

"Thank you, Phoebe," Joey said, ripping the wire from the bra. "That's very, very...generous."

"Okay, now let's decide who has the nicest ass," Chandler decided. "Zara, let me guess, you're not wearing any panties, as well?"

"I'll leave that one for your imagination," Zara told him.

But Joey had already broken into the cab again. "And there you go!"

They were quick to scramble back into the cab as Phoebe started to reverse away from the rest stop. However, the engine abruptly stopped, which didn't seem right.

"Oh, no," said Phoebe.

"W-what's going on?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, this has happened before," Phoebe started to explain.

"So, you know how to fix it?"

"Yep, put more gas in."

Both Chandler and Joey disappeared to get help, but Zara worried that Joey would crack under the stress and tell Chandler everything. So, she ended up going with them, but neither expected Chandler to pass out on them, fortunately sparing Joey from saying anything disastrous.

Now, they were helping him get back to the rest stop, where the three were still stranded.

"So the going for help went well?" Monica asked them.

"Yeah," said Joey. "Smokey Joe here got halfway to the highway and collapsed."

"I have the lung capacity of a two-year-old," Chandler told them.

Joey scoffed at that.

"Then why are you smoking?" Monica questioned him.

"Well, it's very unsettling," said Chandler.

"You know what," Zara decided. "If you're gonna smoke, then so am I."

Chandler paused, lighting up his cigarette. "No, you're not, because you don't have any."

"Give me one then," Zara suggested.

"Let me think about that," said Chandler, holding her stare. "No."

"Why's that, Chandler?" Zara demanded. "Why can you smoke but I can't?"

"Because you quit," Chandler told her.

"So did you," Zara challenged.

"Stop it, both of you," Joey told them before his eyes were set on Chandler, where Zara could see from the look on his face that Joey was about to expose their secret. "Chandler, I gotta speak to you."

"If it's about me smoking, then I think I've heard it all."

"Yeah, Joey," Zara shook her head at him. "Chandler doesn't need to hear anything else!"

Joey sighed, heading into the restroom again.

Chandler started smoking with Monica's eyes flickering between the three. While she knew, Zara refused to talk about it with Monica — it was her issue, so Zara would figure it out.

They had a plan: Zara was to distract Rachel while Phoebe and Monica was quick to call Ross about coming out to rescue them. Though, during it, Zara kept a close eye on Joey, knowing it was risky now.

Joey was keeping himself distracted as he set up stickers into a help sign that was spelt backwards.

"Okay, done," Joey announced as they all admired his work.

"What's pleh?" Monica questioned.

"That's help spelt backwards," Joey told them. "So that the helicopters can read it from the air."

"Right," said Zara. "How dumb of us to not realise."

"What's dufus spelt backwards?" Monica asked.

Rachel spotted a vehicle coming up to the rest stop. "Oh! Oh! Car! Car!"

Though, as Ross stepped out of the car, Rachel let out a grunt, clearly not happy to see him.

"It's Ross on one of his drives!" Phoebe cried out.

"Hey!" They all greeted Ross, relieved to see him.

"What is he doing here?" Rachel demanded.

"He is saving your butt," Ross answered. "Unless, of course, I'm stepping on some toes here. In which case I can just mosey on. I've got plenty of people to help on the interstate."

They were all quick to try to encourage Rachel to let Ross help them.

"Fine," Rachel gave in as she turned away from the group. "Fine."

Ross came over to them with the gas, ruining Joey's sign as he yelled out at the devastation.

"Oh, no," said Chandler. "Now it's not going to make any sense."

"You guys," Phoebe brought Chandler, Monica, and Zara closer. "What do we do about Ross? He drove all the way up here. What do we do? Just, like, send him back and then we're going to go skiing?"

"Oh, this is horrible," Chandler said. "It's just horrible."

Joey joined them. "Hey, you guys think we should ask Ross to come along?"

"But what about Rachel?" Monica questioned. "I mean, how are we going to even ask her?"

"Rachel invited us in the first place," Zara said.

Rachel appeared. "Ask me what?"

"Um..." Monica turned to face her. "If, uh, it might be okay if Ross came skiing."

"I wasn't—"

"Oh, no, I wasn't going to ask that."

"You guys are unbelievable," Rachel told them. "No, he cannot come."

"Excuse me?" Ross heard, turning to join the conversation as Zara sighed, knowing this was going to be a fight now.

"It's horrible," Chandler commented.

"Oh, please, can't I come to your special, magical cabin?" Ross asked, sarcastically.

"Why would you even want to come, Ross?" Rachel questioned. "You're a horrible skier."

"Oh, oh...hitting me where it hurts — my ski skills."

"Here we go again," Monica said.

"I can't handle this," Joey announced with Zara seeing the cracks appear, only adding to her shame and guilt. "Not this as well."

"You know I can handle it," Chandler said. "Handle is my middle name."

That only made things worse for Zara as the words sunk deep inside of her.

"Actually, it's the...middle part of my first name."

"All right, Pheebs," Ross announced. "The cab's ready."

"All right, let's go," Rachel decided.

"You're welcome," Ross said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Rachel. "Were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else?"

"We were on a break."

"You know, Ross, why don't you just put that on your answering machine?"

"Hey, it's valid. Okay? And I'm not the only one who thinks so. Monica agrees with me."

"What?"

Monica, though, looked as if she wanted to disappear.

"I don't know," said Monica, feeling in the middle.

"That's what you said last night," Ross reminded her.

"What I said was, was that I understood," Monica explained. "Joey is the one who agreed with you."

"Really, Joey?" Rachel questioned.

Joey's daydreaming came to an end. "What?"

"You what?" Phoebe said. "But there is no right or wrong here."

"No, I think it's very obvious who's wrong here."

"Can we just go?" Zara questioned, getting fed up.

"Obviously not to Joey," Ross said.

Everyone looked at Joey, who was pale, finally cracking as he couldn't cope under the pressure of everything anymore. "What?"

The arguing escalated with Zara holding her breath, unknowing what to do.

"Guess what I am?" Chandler shouted.

As if he was a child trying to distract his parents from fighting, Chandler started to help which caused everyone to pause for a moment. Both Rachel and Ross returned to arguing, unbothered about Chandler.

"All right, all right," Joey shouted.

"Joey, no," Zara pleaded, knowing what was about to happen.

"I slept with Zara," Joey announced.

There was silence as all eyes were on Joey, who had completely stolen the moment.

"We know," Monica tried to cover, but her voice sounded funny. "That was years ago, Joey."

Zara knew her face was giving everything away, but that night was exposed now.

"Yeah," said Chandler, cigarette falling to the floor as he stopped dancing, suddenly feeling exposed himself. "You-you mean the one time years ago, right? Right?"

"No, Chandler," Joey told him. "That night with the Xerox girl, Zara and I slept together."

Zara could feel the burning stare from Chandler, and she forced herself to look at him. His irises were wide with shock, but Zara could still see the pain deep within them. It tore at Zara's heart, hating herself for hurting him.

"Chandler—"

"I don't remember this part from my parent's divorce."

His voice cracked, fingers reaching to pull out another cigarette from his pack as he turned away from his two closest friends, unable to look at them.

♡

EPISODE EIGHTEEN.

♡

Rachel and Ross had found a way to get along for the sake of the group. However, Chandler was yet to speak to Zara or Joey.

Then, there was then Zara and Joey, who were struggling to find that line of friendship again. While no more mistakes had happened, they were yet to be back to normal around each other without it affecting Chandler too.

But the three were trying to ignore the conflict between them.

In the coffee house, Joey was laughing hysterically with the sound sounding false.

"What's so funny?" Monica asked him.

"Oh, nothing," Joey said. "It's an acting exercise. I'm practising my fake laugh."

"Oh," said Monica before trying her own.

"What?" Joey questioned. "What's so funny?"

Chandler came in then with Zara instantly spotting him and the cigarette in his mouth. Her breathing hitched, hoping he would at least look at her, but Gunther had distracted him, telling Chandler not to smoke.

As Chandler sat down, placing a new cigarette in his mouth, Rachel took it away. It happened again with Zara grateful for Rachel, wanting to do the same for Chandler.

"Okay, that's like, the least fun game ever," Chandler said.

"Well, I'm really sick of your smoking," Rachel told him, reaching into her back. "So I brought you something that is going to help you quit."

"Oh," Chandler took the box, placing it against his arm, and then he let go, watching as it slid off his arm and onto the floor. "Nope. That patch is no good."

Monica and Joey responded with their fake laughter.

But Chandler's eyes were icy as they fell on Joey before he was pulling another cigarette out of his pocket, silencing his best friend. Zara looked between them both, finding this her worst nightmare.

"Come on, it's a hypnosis tape," Rachel explained, handing it to him again. "This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasn't smoked since."

Ross scoffed at that, causing Rachel to look at him. "What's your problem?"

"Nothing," Ross answered. "It's just that hypnosis is beyond crap."

"Ross, I watched you get hypnotised in Atlantic City."

"Hey, that guy did not hypnotise me, okay?"

"Oh, right. 'Cause you always pull your pants down on the count of three and play wipe out on your butt cheeks."

"All right," Phoebe cut in. "Forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is you have to dance naked in a field of heather and then bathe in the sweat of six healthy young men."

"Or what my father calls a Thursday night," Chandler said with a new cigarette in his mouth before lighting up.

Already Zara could taste the thought of the cigarette in her mouth, still struggling herself.

"Or to quit," said Zara. "You get a few patches that worked like last time and you decide to just stop. You're making it harder for me, Chandler."

"Oh, am I?" Chandler replied, sarcastically. "Sorry, why don't I just make it easier for you and sleep with your best friend?"

"Chandler, come on," Joey tried again. "We both apologised."

"You know we never meant to hurt you," Zara told him. "I'm sorry."

Around them, everyone tried to stay busy, but the tension had caused that awkwardness again.

"If you're gonna do it again, just make sure I'm not being tucked into bed beforehand by you both," said Chandler, still not forgiving them. "I guess I should be grateful that you didn't forget about me then."

Zara frowned at him, knowing he was hurt and speaking out. But, she didn't think Chandler would be this hurt about the two sleeping together. After all, he had moved on from Zara, so it wasn't similar to Ross and Rachel at all. The worst Zara and Joey had done was break that sacred friendship code — so yeah, maybe he was allowed to be bitter.

Not knowing what else to say, Zara excused herself, faking an excuse of forgetting about a meeting with her publishers.

♡

Apparently, Zara leaving the coffee house had resulted in Zara not meeting Frank's future bride, who also happened to be his high school teacher (but he had now graduated). Still, Zara was quite glad she hadn't been around for that as the thought alone left Zara uncomfortable.

Now, Zara was writing at Monica's work with Rachel, trying to avoid being anywhere that Chandler or Joey could be. It was sad and reminded Zara of the time when she had freshly broken up with Chandler, but she was hoping to remove herself would allow them both to fix things with each other.

"So, was Joey just sex?" Rachel questioned.

"Yes," Zara forced herself to answer. "We were just drunk."

"Second time it's happened," Rachel noticed. "Clearly there's something between you both."

"If there is, then it's nothing worth risking our friendships over," Zara told her.

"So you do have feelings for Joey?" Rachel realised.

"No, I don't," Zara stated, getting agitated.

"Chandler will get over it," Monica reassured her.

Zara sighed. "I didn't think he'd be this upset."

"Chandler loved you," Monica reminded him. "Seeing you move on with his best friend is going to hurt; don't forget you're the first he's ever let himself love. Imagine if I slept with Chandler. How would you react?"

The thought alone was enough to leave a bitter taste in Zara's mouth. Seeing Chandler with Janice had been bad enough, but seeing him happy with a friend? No, Zara couldn't do it.

"See," said Monica. "If it was just a one-time thing, then he'll move on."

"But if it's something more, you need to tell him," Rachel added, sounding hopeful. "In the end, all Chandler will want is for you to both be happy."

It didn't feel like that way, though. Now, Zara searched for a distraction with Ruby's new rival Nina at the school for villains, but she couldn't bring herself to focus. Fortunately, Monica had chosen to talk about her love life, sparing Zara any further.

"And you know what?" Monica said as she continued working. "I just realised, in the last year, I've only gone out with two guys: Richard and Julio. One of you has got to help me out here. Set me up. Got to get me back in the game."

"Well, that shouldn't be a problem," said Rachel. "I mean, I work in fashion and all I meet are eligible straight men."

"If I find someone myself, then I'll let you know," Zara offered. "Just don't do a me and go for friends."

Monica barely suppressed a sigh before she focused her attention on her customer, who was sitting further down the counter from them.

"Pete, can I get you something else?"

"I'll have a slice of cheesecake and a date if you're giving them out."

That caused Rachel and Zara to share matching grins.

"Haven't you and I covered that topic?" Monica replied.

"Come on," Pete said with a smile. "You just said to her that you—"

"You only want to go out with me because of my blonde wig and the big boobs and the fact that I serve you food."

"Well, if that were true, I'd be dating my aunt Ruth," Pete replied. "And the two times we went out, it was just plain awkward." Monica looked towards them both with Pete's gaze following. "Come on. You both think she should go out with me, don't you?"

Rachel laughed. "Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that ain't a pretty sight in the morning. You know what I mean? That wig all in disarray and boobs flung over the nightstand."

"Oh, yeah."

"I mean, really think about it," Monica told him.

"Oh-ho, I will," Pete told her.

"There you go, Mon," said Zara, completely accepting of Pete. "We've found you someone to date."

♡

On the way home from work one night, Zara accidentally bumped into Joey at the entrance to their apartment. They both came to a stop, eyes wide with surprise, lungs suddenly too full to even speak.

And then Joey took the spare bag from Zara's hands that was too full from the homework Zara needed to mark.

"Joey, you don't have to," Zara told him.

"'Course I do," Joey said. "It's what friends do, right?"

The words caused Zara to look at him with a soft smile, which automatically triggered one from Joey too. It was a relief to know that they would be okay.

"Right," Zara agreed. "Does that mean, we're all good?"

"Yeah," Joey reassured her. "We're good, Zara. Like you said, that night shouldn't have happened."

That wasn't exactly what Zara's heart wanted to hear, but it was still a step in the right direction. All Zara needed now was to fix things with Chandler, and then this whole disaster could be forgotten about.

"After that night, I'm never drinking again," Zara told him.

Joey chuckled at that as they walked upstairs. "Oh, come on. Drunk Zara is fun."

Apparently a little too fun, but it was enough to start a conversation between them, which resulted in them poking fun at each other like old times again.

That night, it was Monica's big date with the millionaire — yes that was right — and Zara was still in shock by the fact she had even spoken to Pete.

When the doorbell rang, Rachel was clapping. "Oh my God, the millionaire's here."

"Oh my God!" Chandler joined in, jumping around too.

Zara's eyebrows furrowed at him in confusion as his reaction seemed generally serious and not a joke. But, if he was finally happy, then so was Zara.

"You guys, please," said Monica, getting ready with her coat. "I'm just gonna have dinner with him."

"Just dinner," Zara scoffed. "He could fly you across the world for dinner if he wanted to."

"Okay, okay," Chandler said, all shaky. "Just because he buys you dinner, does not mean you owe him anything."

Monica looked at Chandler, pointing a finger at him. "I know!"

"Okay, then get the lobster," Chandler said with a grin.

"And the most expensive bottle of champagne," Zara added.

They had all gathered at the front door, wanting to see Monica out with her millionaire date. As the door opened, Zara was more surprised at Chandler's excitement than the date himself.

"Hey," Pete greeted them.

"Hi," Monica replied before they all chimed in.

"Hey, how much cash have you got in your pocket right now?" Joey asked.

"And that's why I'm not inviting you in for a drink," Monica said before shooting them all a final look. "Bye."

"Why not?"

"Wait!"

"Why not a drink?"

But the door had closed, preventing them from getting to speak to Pete anymore.

While everyone had stayed for takeaway that night, Zara had found herself drifting from the group as she sat on the balcony, taking in the fresh air. Already, spring was calling with the days counting down to her book release, but all she could think about was Chandler not talking to her.

Until the window opened with Chandler's head poking through.

"You're not smoking, are you?" Chandler questioned.

"No," Zara told him. "And you're not welcome to smoke here."

"I've given it up again," Chandler confessed before climbing out of the window to join Zara. "You know, you tend to come out here when you're upset and don't want anyone to see."

Zara pulled her coat tighter around herself, unknowing what she was supposed to say to that. It was obvious why Zara was upset, but she wasn't sure what else she could say to Chandler for him to forgive her.

"Remember when we first argued over where we stayed that night," said Chandler, standing next to Zara. "You came out here to sulk, thinking I didn't want to spend the night with you."

"That was the night Monica almost caught us," Zara remembered. "Good job she did come home as I don't think we would have stopped."

"I have this crazy goal of having sex on this balcony," Chandler confessed. "With you, I almost achieved that."

"I wouldn't want to give Ugly Naked Guy any ideas," Zara said.

Chandler laughed at that, knowing it would have been risky for all the neighbourhood to see. But, back then, a hint of an argument always ended up in the two having sex, wanting to smother any issues before they appeared as a reason to simply just run.

And now they were here.

"It's crazy; after all this time, I still miss us," Chandler confessed. "I guess I'm lucky I still get you as a friend."

Zara's heart became weaker at the words as her eyes fell on him, irises glossy with the possability of the haunting question of what if between them. "You know, I never meant to hurt you."

"I know," Chandler said, meeting her stare, where greenish-brown was locked with blue, reflecting similar emotions that neither confessed.

"It was just a mistake," Zara told him.

"Was it honestly a mistake?"

The question needed to be met with honesty, but Zara was tuning out her heart, and digging herself a deeper hole in the process. As long as her friendships with Joey and Chandler were intact, then they were secrets worth burying.

"Dating friends isn't getting me anywhere," Zara forced herself to say. "So, from now on, no more friends."

"Oh, well there goes my plan," Chandler joked.

Zara found a hint of a smile, but she couldn't bring herself to laugh. Being friends was for the best — crossing that friendship line only led to situations like this.

"So, we're good?" Zara questioned, hopeful.

"We're always good," Chandler promised her. "I just gotta get my head around you and Joey, but I guess if there are no feelings, then that's all good right? I don't need any more reasons to feel insecure about myself."

But Zara sensed the joke, knowing that when they were together, Chandler had always felt a little intimidated to know that Joey and Zara had slept together. Still, though, this was progress, and Zara was happy to take it.

♡

Chandler returned home to find Joey waiting up, acting like a lost puppy, practically begging for forgiveness. It was enough for Chandler to give in, knowing he'd been in Joey's place, and knew what it was like to be dumped by Zara.

"Chandler, I'm—"

"I know you're sorry," said Chandler. "And it's okay, I forgive you."

"What about Zara?" Joey asked.

"I've forgiven her too, but she's sworn off friends," Chandler said.

"Oh," said Joey, frowning. "I know, she said that to me too."

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Chandler offered Joey a smile, seeing everything as clear as day, though. "Welcome to the club of Zara's regrets."

Joey recoiled at that, but his gaze remained on Chandler. "You still love her, don't you?"

Chandler looked away at that, itching for another cigarette, but that wasn't going to get him anywhere. "It doesn't matter," Chandler decided, ignoring how he was feeling. "Just make sure this stays a mistake or you'll end up like me, and trust me, you don't want that."

♡

This is honestly just the start lol as all three of them are in denial and not confessing much. I can't wait for things to escalate further, but I'm also excited for Zara's growth and to finally let someone love her!