Andre Nile

So basically, we left to go to my dad's house after texting to see if he was home. I packed a bag that should last me a few days with my school stuff and went to dad's with my siblings. We all drove ourselves, obviously.

I like my dad's place. It's a little smaller than mom's, not by much. There's one less bedroom so we just don't have a spare if all of us are here, but normally we're not. Even now we're short one of us.

"Hey, kiddos!" Dad said as he answered the door, pulling into a group hug. "how have you guys been? I missed you guys."

I really should come here more than like, every other weekend. Mom doesn't like it when I'm here a lot, though. I missed last weekend, though, because mom had stuff going on and asked dad to switch weekends and he said it was fine and then she like, wanted me home again this weekend.

It's Sunday, though. It's still the weekend. So I'm here.

So they caught up with dad for a little bit, and we got to meet Adi's boyfriend, Will, and he was cool. They met through a class, he's a art design and business major. Which is like, smart, but insane. They seemed nice together.

But after they caught up with dad, the three of them went to go and meet with an old friend of theirs who is still living here, taking a gap year. So it was just dad and I, which was nice.

"I'm surprised your mom let you come," he remarked. "it's been a while since you've been here, or Adrian, for that matter. You've been alright at your mom's?"

I shrugged, because I didn't want to lie to him, but I didn't want to freak him out either.

It's a balancing act.

"It's alright," I told him. "have you heard about the job yet?"

"Yeah!" My dad recalled, which was a nice time for me to hear. "They called this morning, I got the job! They want me to start next week's get the background check and drug testing done this week. We'll be able to do fun stuff again while you're here for the weekend like we used to."

"That's good!" I insisted, and then kind of realized that the option was there now, but I didn't really know how to ask.

I mean, it's weird, isn't it? Just asking, fairly unprompted, if I can move in with him because I don't want to be at Mom's anymore.

Being there just... Stresses me out. I feel like mom has these expectations of me that I can't meet and every time I don't meet them she's disappointed and I feel bad and guilty and even if I make them, she wishes that I could've exceeded them and I feel like I'll be enough for her and now that I'm dating Lionel...

Even if she wasn't openly homophobic, I don't think I'd want to tell her. She seemed suspicious and disappointed in the last two relationships, what's new?

Adrian is her favorite. Mommy's little girl.

"Are you sure you're right alright, Andre?" My dad asked, now sounding a little concerned about me. "Your mom didn't send you here because she couldn't deal with a panic attack or something of the sort, did she?"

"What? No, she... I just left a note saying that I was here, she wasn't home when we left." I assured him. "but speaking of mom..."

I stopped for a second.

"I know it's like, a lot of ask out of nowhere, for the most part," I started off, noticing my leg shaking a little. "I wanted to ask a while ago but you didn't have a job and then like then the others were moving out and a lot was happening and..."

"What is it, Andre?"

"Can I move in with you?" I asked my dad, who definitely wasn't expecting that sort old a question out of me. "I know it's like, out of nowhere, but-"

My dad wasn't about to have me talk myself into a panic attack. Which I was glad for, because I could feel it. Debating if it wanted to happen or not. If it wanted to exhaust me.

"Andre, before you have a panic attack, take a breath." He insisted, sitting down across from me in the couch. "of course you can move in with me. You could've moved in with me months ago, if you had wanted to. Me not having a job for a month wouldn't have stopped that, between emergency funds and unemployment and my savings account, we would've been perfectly fine as long as we, oh I don't know, just stopped eating out so often or something like that. That's why those things exist. What happened at your mom's to make you want to move out?"

I shrugged, even thought I knew exactly what it was.

"I mean, it'd just a lot of the little stuff." I tried to explain to him, feeling a little bad because I've just held this in for a long time. I haven't talked to Mom about it. Obviously. "I'm pretty sure she doesn't trust me with most anything between how often she checks my phone and goes through my room and doesn't let me watch even Adrian if she's out of town for the day. She'll send her to a friend's house or have Warren come over and... I mean, I guess they're getting married now?"

"They are?" It was news to him.

"Yeah, they told us this morning," I confirmed, nodding my head. "I'm not thrilled, but it's not my relationship. And like... I don't know, being there just stresses me out now and Mom doesn't take anything I say seriously. She hasn't let me go to any of my appointments that you make because she'll call and cancel them so I still don't even know if I actually have anxiety or not, and I'd like to know so that way I could maybe be less anxious sometimes. Plus like, I wouldn't be surprised if she kicked me out by the end of the month, so I'd need somewhere to go."

"Now... First off, I'll make an appointment for you for as soon as I can get you in and I won't tell her about it," Dad put together, which was nice of him. "it's rude of her to do that in the first place when she knows how bad your attacks can get. Secondly, why on Earth would your mother kick you out? You could bore a child and she'd be extremely upset, but she wouldn't kick you out."

He paused, realizing that I'm 16, almost 17, and that something like that could happen.

"You didn't get a girl pregnant, did you? I know you're smart enough to use birth control and a condom, but things happen."

"Hm? Oh, no," I assured my dad. "I don't even have a girlfriend, I uh..."

I stopped for a second.

"I have a boyfriend," I told my dad. "And with how weirdly religious mom can get... Even if she didn't kick me out, I don't really want to be there when she finds out. I'd rather be here."

And I saw him realize how much of a pickle I had myself in right now. Because it was a pretty decent one. Not big, but juicy.

After all, I wasn't worried over the idea that Mom might kick me out if she found out that I'm... Not straight? I should look that up.

I'm anxious because when her sister sent us the wedding invitation for her and her fiancée (two e's, not one), Mom called to ask if it was a Typo, let her know so they wouldn't have that on the updated invites with the photos and stuff.

It wasn't a typo, apparently my aunt is a lesbian but stayed distant from the family just because she lived a whiles away.

And I don't blame her, because Mom cursed her out, told her she was going to hell, and completely cut her off after that. I wonder how she's doing sometimes. Think about finding her on Facebook. I haven't yet.

Mom and Dad got divorced like, a few months after that.

"Aw, kiddo, it's okay," dad insisted, rubbing my arm for a support. "you can always stay here and if you want to move in, you can move in and I'll deal with your mom and if I need something from you, like a signature for a custody form, I'll let you know, okay? But you shouldn't have to feel like that at home."

I just nodded my head, kind of feeling like shit. But like, the kind of feeling like shit that a nap could take care of.

So when Dad got a call from Mom, I decided to take a nap on the couch.