Dean Winchester looked like crap. He had dark bags under his eyes and the beginning of stubble on his face. He looked broken.

"Dean," I greeted him.

"Hi, Lexi. I didn't have your number, uh, so..."

"No. No, it's okay. I'm- I'm... just surprised."

He nodded, glancing down.

"How's Becca?" he asked.

"Good. Good. She's at her friend's house."

"You moved. It's a... nice house."

"Dean, you didn't drive all this way to talk about real estate. Are you alright?"

"No, not really," he admitted.

I swallowed, taking a step further onto the porch.

"Well, what is it?"

"Look, I have no illusions, okay? I know the life that I live, I know how that's going to end for me. Whatever. I'm okay with that. But I wanted you to know... that when I do picture myself happy... It's with you. And our kid."

"Wow," I breathed, speechless.

"I mean, you don't have to say anything."

"No, I... I mean, I know. I know. I want to. Ever since you first... Come inside. Let me get you a beer."

He shook his head, taking a step back off the porch.

"I wish I could. Take care of yourself, Lexi," he turned, starting to walk away.

"No, wait, wait!" I called, grabbing his arm and stopping him in his tracks. "You can't just drop a bombshell like that and then leave."

"I know. I'm sorry. But I don't have a choice."

"Yes, you do," I insisted stubbornly. "You do. You can come inside and let me get you a beer. We can talk."

I started to pull him back toward the door, but he planted his feet, effectively stopping us from moving any further.

"Lexi, wait a minute. Things are about to get really bad."

"Like how? Like your kind of bad?"

"Worse. Next few days, the crap you're gonna see on your TV, it's gonna be downright trippy. But I don't want you to worry, because I'm making arrangements for you and Becca."

"Arrangements?" I repeated the word, more confused than ever.

Dean swallowed, staring at me with sad eyes.

"Whatever happens, you're going to be okay," he stated firmly.

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?"

I was getting scared now. The way Dean was talking... it sounded like he was planning to kill himself. Or do something incredibly stupid. Or both. We both had tears threatening to fall, but neither of us had shed a single drop yet.

"The people I'm going to see next, they're not gonna get anything from me without agreeing to a few conditions," he informed me.

I felt my lip beginning to tremble and bit down on it hard to keep the sobs at bay.

"Just... just come inside. Please. And whatever you're thinking of doing, don't do it."

Dean shook his head sadly as a single tear finally rolled down his cheek.

"I can't."

"Just stay an hour," I begged. "At least say bye to Becca."

"It's better that I don't."

He leaned down then, planting a kiss firmly to my lips. My hands fisted the material of his jacket, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. I felt him take my lip between his teeth, teasing in the way he did that day in the janitor's closet. However, before it could go any further he pulled back and stepped away.

"Bye, Lexi," he whispered, wiping the tears that were falling silently down my cheeks.

I watched him turn and climb into his beloved car and drive off before I broke down fully, falling to my knees and sobbing loudly in the walkway.

---

I worried for weeks. When I was around Becca I put on a front, pretended everything was fine. I had to fight to keep it up, especially when her green eyes, so like her father's, met mine. Then at night after she had gone to her room, I locked my door and sobbed myself to sleep. I didn't know what had happened to Dean. I didn't know what he meant when he said he was making arrangements for me and our daughter.

Then one night, almost a month later, there was a knock at the door while we were eating dinner.

"Stay here," I told Becca.

When I opened the door, the sight that met me was worse than the one I had seen weeks earlier. Dean's shoulders were hunched and he was fighting back tears as he stared at me.

"Hey, Lexi," he greeted me, voice breaking.

"Oh, thank god," I breathed. "Are you alright?"

One corner of his mouth turned up briefly and he let out a breath almost like a forced laugh.

"Yeah," his voice broke again. "Uh, if it's not too late, I... I think I'd like to take you up on that beer."

"It's never too late," I assured him.

As tears began to fall down his cheeks, Dean stepped inside and I pulled him into an embrace as he broke down, much like I had after he had driven off a month prior.

"Shh. It's okay," I comforted him, rubbing a hand up and down his back. "It's gonna be okay."

Once he had pulled himself together a bit more, we made our way back to the table.

"I'll get you some food," I told him.

He took a seat across from Becca at the table as I disappeared into the kitchen for a plate. When I came back in, I placed the plate in front of him and poured some whiskey in a glass for him as well.

"You okay?" I questioned him.

"Yeah, I'm good," he responded, taking a sip of whiskey.

---

Dean stayed with us for a year. He got a job in construction and actually adjusted to normal life quite well. I mean, sure at first he was super paranoid. I put up with it all. The devil's traps he drew underneath the front doormat and the rugs inside. The salt along all the windows and doors. But after a while, the only remainders of his old life were the nightmares that never seemed to go away and his Impala under an old tarp in the garage.

He was so good with Becca. It was so fun to see the two of them interact. He would sit with her at the table and help her with her homework, even though he knew practically jack squat about the things she was learning...

What? Oh, you want to know more about the nightmares? There's not much to tell. He never talked about them. But I would wake nearly every night to him calling out for his brother, Sammy. Some nights, it was slightly tamer. He would pull me close in the bed, and mutter something along the lines of: "It's okay, Sammy. I've got you." Other nights he would lash out. It left bruises on my arms. I tried to hide them from him for a while, but he realized eventually. He cried, tried to apologize to me. I told him it wasn't his fault, that it was fine.

Look, I'm sorry it's taking me a while. You can't rush the story, though. It's all relevant, I promise. It all led to what I did. What you found me doing. Us doing. Now, let's see, where was I? Oh yes, Dean thought there was something after us, so he sent me and Becca to the movies for the evening while he did a sweep...

---

Becca and I walked up to the house, my phone ringing as we did so. It was from Dean, who was standing on the porch. He quickly hung up when he saw us.

"Where the hell have you been?" he demanded.

"We- we were at the movies," I replied. "You knew that."

Dean pulled me into a crushing hug, and then did the same with Becca.

"Dean, ow," I yelped.

"What happened?" Becca inquired.

"Go upstairs and pack a bag," Dean told her.

"Where are we going?" I asked him.

"I'm taking us to a friend's house," he replied. "Go. It's okay. Go on up. I'll be there in a second."

Becca and I started past him toward the door when someone else joined us. He was taller than Dean, with long shaggy brown hair.

"What the hell?" I looked at the man and then to Dean and back to the man.

"Um..." Becca muttered.

"Oh, my god," I breathed, realizing who it was.

"Lexi, Becca, I don't know if you remember-" Dean started.

"Sam," I cut Dean off.

---

Several days later, we had finally pulled into an old scrap yard in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Becca and I climbed out of the Impala and followed Dean up to the door. Swallowing hard, he knocked and a moment later an old man with a rust red beard and an old ball cap on his head appeared.

"Damn it," the man grunted.

"It's good to see you, too, Bobby," Dean greeted him. "It's been a while."

"If you're here, then something's wrong," the man, Bobby, responded.

"Bobby, this is Lexi and Becca," Dean introduced us.

"Well, it's nice to finally meet you two," Bobby nodded, shaking my hand. "Mi casa es su casa. Maybe you just want to go upstairs. TV's broken, but there's plenty of Reader's Digest. Just don't touch the decor, okay? Assume it's all loaded."

I nodded in understanding before leading Becca up the stairs.

---

Dean and I sat at the bottom of the stairs. Becca was upstairs in one of the spare bedrooms.

"How's she doing?" Dean asked me.

"She's okay. How are you?" I shot back.

"Look, I know Bobby's a little crotchety, but he's great," he avoided the question. "He's going to look after you guys. Me and Sam, we're going to head out."

"For how long?"

"I'm sorry," he avoided the question again.

"For what?"

"Those things were coming after me. And I should've known."

"How could you have known a monster was gonna show up?"

"I should've known," he insisted. "I should've known that if I stayed with you that something would come, because something always does. But I was stupid and reckless, and... You can't outrun the past."

"You're saying goodbye," I realized, refusing to meet his gaze.

"I'm saying I'm sorry," Dean corrected. "For everything. Everything."

I looked at him then, anger bubbling up in my chest.

"You're an idiot," I spat at him. "I mean, I know it wasn't greeting-card perfect, but we were in it together."

"I was a wreck half the time," he said lamely, trying to defend his apology.

"Yeah, well, the guy who basically just saved the world shows up at your door, you expect him to have a couple of issues. And you're always so amazing with Becca. You know what I wanted, more than anything, was for Becca to have her father around. So you're saying it's all bad, Dean? 'Cause it was the best year of my life."

---

We ended up moving again. This time Dean came with us. He thought he could still keep up the domestic life he had been living over the past year despite the fact he had been dragged back into hunting...

Huh? You want me to speed things along? Didn't I just tell you this can't be rushed? It's all relevant to the story. Then again, I guess the next part isn't as important to why you found me the way you did... Let's see... What is the next major thing that happened that you need to know about?

---

I brought a drink in to Matt, one of Dean's relatives who was assigned to look after Becca and I while he was off hunting with Sam and the others, and sat beside him on the couch as he was listening to the ball game.

"And he's four for his last seven against with uh, two extra base hits... He dives back in..."

Matt groaned and I laughed. Just then, a man broke down the door, eyes flashing black as he stalked over to us. I gasped as he grabbed me.

"No!" I yelled.

"Just let her go, okay?" Matt demanded. "Just-"

A second man, also with black eyes, came in and snapped Matt's neck and I screamed. I noticed Becca standing at the top of the stairs, watching the events unfold. The men followed my gaze, seeing her as well. She ran off to her room, slamming the door shut.

"NO!" I yelled again as the one who snapped Matt's neck headed in the direction Becca had disappeared.

The man who had a hold of me dragged me out to a van and a few minutes later the other one brought Becca out as well. A third man, this one seeming to be the leader, came out behind them, holding Becca's phone to his ear.

"You're adorable when you get all threatening," he said to whoever was on the other end. "Don't worry, I won't hurt them. Provided you and Jolly Green stand down. Got it? Splendid. Kisses."

He hung up, throwing the phone on Becca's lap.

"Hello, darlings," he greeted us.

"Who the hell are you?" I spat.

"The king of hell, actually," the man informed me. "But you can call me Crowley."

"What do you want?"

"Nothing from you, sweetheart. You're just insurance."

"Insurance?"

"You ask a lot of questions."

The next thing I knew, everything went black.

---

AN: I wasn't going to say anything, but after a recent guest review (on fanfiction.net), I decided I would. I realize this story thus far has mostly focused on the SPN-verse and not the CM-verse. I have my reasons, and we will be seeing our beloved team eventually. We do also have part 2 after this one, so if anyone else is wondering about BAU involvement, there is still plenty of time. I'm also posting this now because I'm going to be without internet on Sunday/Monday as I will be out of town for a school trip.