Papyrus was just the smallest bit annoyed with his brother.

Because finally, finally, after weeks of waiting, Gaster had told Sans he was allowed out of bed. And, despite being more than strong enough to go considerably farther, Sans had dragged a blanket down the hall and collapsed on the couch, being just as lazy there as he had been in bed.

"At least, Sans," Papyrus groaned, looking at his blanket-wrapped brother, "put on some clothes!"

Because Sans hadn't put on any clothes. For ease and convenience in changing his bandages when he was unconscious, Gaster had never bothered to put Sans in clothes. And when he had finally, fully woken up, it was still easier for him to not be clothed, and he was almost always tucked under the blankets in bed, anyway.

But now that he was strong enough to be up and about, he had no excuse to not wear clothes, even if some of his worse wounds were still bandaged up.

And yet, here he was, curled up on the couch wearing nothing but bandages and a blanket.

Sans laughed slightly. "nah, bro. i'm good."

...At the very least, he was effectively wrapped in the blanket, Papyrus supposed.

Still. "Do you plan to never wear clothes again?"

Sans stuck a hand out of his cocoon and waved it dismissively. "eh. later."

"Sans!"

Gaster had been somewhere else, doing something, but now he came into the living room. "Cut him some slack, Papyrus." He flopped onto the couch, opposite Sans. "He's recovering from multiple fatal wounds. I think he can go a day or two without clothes if he wants to."

"Dad!" Papyrus admonished. "He's been going without clothes for weeks now!"

Gaster just shrugged noncommittally.

Papyrus groaned. "You two are so lazy!"

"and proud of it!" Sans laughed.

Before Papyrus could continue reprimanding his brother, there was a knock at the door. Seeing that both Gaster and Sans weren't moving from the couch, but were looking pleadingly at him, Papyrus sighed and went to answer the door. 

Moments later, he was leading Commander Undyne into the living room. She had come to see Sans.

Sans looked at her with a mildly curious frown as she walked in.

"Sans," Papyrus said pointedly, "you have a visitor; you need to be wearing something."

Undyne looked a bit confused.

"i am wearing something: this blanket."

"Blankets don't count as clothes, Sans."

Beginning to understand what was going on, Undyne started to look a little embarrassed.

"Sans, go get dressed." Gaster said, noticing Undyne's embarrassment.

"wha-- but dad! you were on my side, like, less than a minute ago!"

"Sans."

"no!"

"Sans. Go get dressed, or I will dress you myself."

Sans stared at his father for a moment, pretend shock and horror across his face. But he got up, clutching the blanket around his shoulders, and trudged off to find some clothes.

Undyne stared after him, then hesitantly asked, "Uh, is he... really not..."

Chuckling slightly at Undyne's discomfort, Gaster shook his head. "Nope." After a second, Gaster rose, sighing. "I should probably go help him anyway. If I know my son, which I do, he probably just flopped onto his bed and isn't planning on moving." He gestured to the couch. "Feel free to make yourself comfortable, Commander. I'll only be a minute or two."

By the time Gaster returned, trailing a somewhat disgruntled but fully-clothed Sans behind him, Asgore had joined Undyne on the couch.

Sans walked into the living room, saw them both, turned around, and started walking away. "aaaaaand i'm going back to bed now."

Gaster only just managed to grab the hood of his jacket before he slipped away. Gaster pulled Sans back into the room. "You aren't going anywhere."

"ow! hey!" Sans complained. "you can't do that, i'm injured!"

Gaster just rolled his eyes. "Not that injured. You're mostly healed by now. Stop trying to get out of talking to people."

"but i don't wanna talk to people!"

"Sans."

Sans huffed, then sat down in the middle of the floor, as the couch was occupied by Asgore and Undyne, and gave the occupants of the couch a glare. "okay, fine. whaddya want?"

Unsettled by Sans' harshness, his broken eye, and his cold stare, both monsters blanked on everything they had been planning to say.

Eventually, Undyne blurred out, "Are you actually Sans?"

Sans gave her a seriously? look. "no. i'm jerry." He deadpanned.

"But I thought you were dead!"

"did you not hear me? i'm jerry now. jerry didn't die."

"What happened to you?"

"you're gonna hafta be more specific than that. lots of things've happened to me."

"How are you still alive?"

"i didn't die. obviously."

"But- but how?"

Sans gestured vaguely.

Gaster, realizing that Sans was starting to tense up with the topic of his post-"death"-pre-Corrupt life, spoke up. "Can I assume you two will be staying for dinner?"

Sans shot Gaster an appreciative glance.

Asgore smiled at Gaster. "If it is not too much trouble, my friend. We do not want to overstay our welcome."

Undyne just nodded, still staring at Sans, who glared back.

Gaster motioned to Papyrus. "Can you go get me my phone? We might as well get delivery, with this many people here."

Papyrus nodded, and ran off to find Gaster's cellphone.

Asgore, meanwhile, spoke up with his first question to Sans. "Are you alright?"

For a moment, Sans just gave him a funny look. "... no. i'm injured."

"Oh. I hope you are recovering, then?"

Before Sans could speak, Gaster interjected as he accepted his phone from Papyrus, who had just run back. "He's fine."

Undyne spoke again. "You can use Corrupt attacks?"

"yeah."

"How?"

"wow, undyne. i thought you could at least sort of see with one eye, but i guess i was wrong if ya missed this." Sans tapped the Corrupt insignia on the shoulder of his jacket.

"Are you saying you really are Corrupt?"

"yep."

"No." Gaster hung up the phone as he finished ordering takeout Chinese. "He's mostly Corrupt."

"Mostly Corrupt?"

Gaster nodded. "Through a series of events I won't go into, there's a Pure streak in his Soul that allows for him to be okay with Papyrus, me, and the human-"

"but the rest of you can all go die in a ditch, for all i care." Sans interjected.

Gaster continued as if Sans hadn't interrupted. "- and it's also, I think, what allowed him to use his Pure attacks as much as he did."

"If you're... mostly Corrupt, then why were you fighting against the Corrupters?"

"because if i didn't, they would kill papyrus. so i had to stop them."

Undyne, always excited at the prospect of seeing epic attacks, then asked, "Can you show us your attacks?"

"no."

"Why not?"

"because i'm injured!"

"But-"

"Actually," Gaster interrupted, "I'm going to have to agree with Sans on this one. Using the mixed attacks really screwed up his Soul, and it's still not quite fully recovered. Even doing so much as a few Corrupt attacks could be pretty damaging to it right now."

There was a knock on the door. Papyrus went to answer it, then came back moments later, carrying the bags with their food in them. After a little while, everyone was situated more or less comfortably at the kitchen table, each eating from their own carton. Asgore and Undyne pointedly avoided looking at Sans, as he did his weird and slightly horrifying thing of getting food into his mouth without actually opening it. Papyrus and Gaster were quite used to this, though, and paid no attention.

Abruptly, Sans stopped eating, setting his fork on the table and frowning.

"Sans?" Gaster asked, slightly concerned.

"i never got my nice dinner."

Everyone looked confused.

"Um." Gaster gestured to what they were eating.

"no, not like that. with corrupters, 'a nice dinner' doesn't... doesn't mean 'food,' at least, not something that any of you could eat."

"Oh? What is it then?"

Sans hesitated just a barest moment. "... well, in a duel like that, where the winner gets to 'go home and have a nice dinner,' it means they get to take the loser's soul, and eat it."

Silence reigned.

Sans grinned a moment, and sensing the discomfort of his two guests, he continued. "i was really lookin' forward to eating the clone's soul. i mean, pure souls are better, but any soul is better than no soul. it's been a long time since i've gotten to eat a soul, too. they're... well, i have no idea how to describe how they taste. but the texture- that's something amazing. any of you ever do that project in school, where you dissolve an egg's shell with vinegar, an' then you just have the membrane filled with the white and the yolk? souls feel a lot like that when ya eat 'em. except maybe jello inside, instead of egg. the stuff inside is thicker than egg. they take a little while to digest, too, but it's worth it. after all, you're consuming a full life's worth of energy. well, no. none of you. you couldn't do it, only corrupters. but great annoying dog, you sure are missing out."

By now, everyone was staring at Sans. Asgore and Undyne looked thoroughly horrified, and both had lost their appetites entirely.

Papyrus was staring at Sans with an expression that said Stop talking. Now.

And Gaster looked like he wanted to be taking notes. He had not known Corrupters were capable of eating Souls, and, being a scientist, he had long since learned how to overcome any squeamishness he might encounter.

Sans started to continue, but Undyne interjected, more than a little green around her gills. "Oh, well, would you look at the time! I promised Alphys I'd come see her today, I'd better get going!" And without so much as a goodbye, she scrambled away to find the nearest spot she could privately relieve herself of the rapidly growing discomfort in her stomach.

Asgore stood as well. "Perhaps I should be leaving as well. Doctor, as it is getting late, we have little time to discuss it now, but I believe a public address is necessary. The people have many questions about your son. Perhaps, though, do not mention all his new abilities."

Then, after a quick goodbye, Asgore was gone, too.

Papyrus and Gaster looked at Sans.

"That was mean, Sans." Papyrus said.

Sans shrugged. "eh. they were asking too many questions. it was getting annoying."

Gaster just looked faintly amused at his elder son's new method of disposing of unwanted guests.

The family returned to their dinner, and discussed a number of not-Soul-related topics.

§

A/N

So here's an interesting thing I realized. When I'm writing Asgore's dialogue, I type more slowly. And I always headcanon him as talking kinda slow.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! Remember, votes and comments are not only always welcome, but always appreciated, too!