evethespy Presents: A Letter To My Younger Self (Translated Post) 

"One, two, three, testing. Is this thing on?"

"Can you pass me the mic? I want to dramatically announce my presence!"

"You already announced it by speaking up, you turtle!"

"My mom told me that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

"Can you just let me say my part in peace?"

"Hey, look, a puppy playing the piano!"

"What? Where?"

"Ladies, gentlemen, and puppies, welcome to the Wattpad Block Party!"

"Wait a minute, there is no puppy, is there? And that was my line, you trickster!"

"So, for six months, I've been sitting around with nothing to do. But now, I can finally announce that I'm back, baby!"

"Ahem. You mean, we're back, baby?"

"Oh, right, I forgot you existed."

"Meet me in the parking lot later and I'll show you how much my foot exists when it knocks the wind out of your lungs."

"Why would I go to the parking lot? I'm taking the bus home."

"Anywho, it's Yilei's second time participating in this event! She's, like, a Block Party sophomore."

"So, lots of angst and sneaking out to parties without parental permission?"

"Well, this party isn't one to miss. This time, she'll be writing a letter to her younger self. Isn't that interesting?"

"I should clarify that it's addressed to her Wattpad writer fetus self, not her straight-out-of-the-womb type self."

"Right, yes, I think they understand that."

"You know, I'm still not sure who we're speaking to."

"Just roll with it."

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Dear younger self,

You had such high hopes for the future.

Wait, that sounded less morbid in my head.

Now, hear me out, before you get all sad and hide under your blankets to rewatch all eight Harry Potter movies, for, like, the hundredth time. What I mean to say is that you were so forking obsessed with being Wattpad famous, whatever that meant. Side note one, your future self just finished binge-watching The Good Place and has once again been sucked into the black hole of Netflix. Side note two, shows can be a great inspiration for writing. Wait, what was I saying?

The point is, you have expectations that are way too high. Millions of reads on your first story? Thousands of followers? Not as easy as you think. Also, instant success rarely happens to anyone. I suppose if you do want a pack of readers at your doorstep, you could just write a story with the words 'bad boy' in the title, but I know that isn't your style.

Anywho, you need to learn that good things take time, and much of success is attributed to luck. So, unless you have some Felix Felicis ready to go, the so-called Wattpad popularity is mostly based on whether you write the right thing in the right place at the right time.

Plus, before Wattpad, you never wrote a damn thing unless it was for English class, so, no offense, but your writing is trash. Don't worry, though. It's supposed to be. It's a first draft, after all. Speaking of which, it's time to drop your perfectionist mindset. A bad first draft? Everyone has one. No instant rise to fame? Also common. Remember, even the most successful writers started from nothing. You're not a special snowflake.

You may have started slow on Wattpad, with that first novel of yours, and your couple thousand views and five active readers, two of whom you bribed to read by giving them chocolate, but you need to hear this. It gets better. It may not feel like things will get better, and you'll be stuck at rock bottom for the rest of forever, but good things happen if you're patient enough to wait for them. Your story will gain readers. You will hit the success jackpot. People will like your writing. You will become a better writer if you just keep writing.

Remember when you kept refreshing the page every second, to see whether the view count of that story had gone up, even by a single read? Well, here's some quality advice. Leave it to sit. Trust me on this. Close the website, make some popcorn, and check back in an hour. If you obsess over something, it's never going to happen. Great things also tend to happen when you forget about them.

If I told you that you'd be living your dream three years after you began writing, how would you react? You'd probably be ecstatic. It's all you ever wanted, right? Thousands of followers, millions of reads. Dedicated fans and friends. You were lucky enough to get lucky. However, you also think it's all you need to achieve happiness. Well, think again, shortcake. It's not.

Wattpad popularity doesn't take away stress. It doesn't take away depression, nor anxiety, and don't even get me started on your fear of speaking to any human being. It's not a miracle worker. Fame should never be a measure of your worth. You know what that would be? Unhealthy. Like those three packs of fries you devoured at McDonald's the other day. Side note three, eat more salad.

Plus, with so-called popularity comes more exposure, and not all the exposure will be friendly. Trust me, you'll receive your fair share of death threats, hate comments, and racial slurs. You'll have to take breaks from Wattpad to clear your head. You know what? That's okay too. Take your time. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words also hurt. Some readers forget that writers are humans who actually feel things.

Just delete the comments you think should be deleted, and move on. They're not worth your time. Oh, and leave the constructive criticism. As much as you despise it, it helps you grow as a writer. But the haters? Cancel. Unstan. Unfollow. Block. Mute. Erase.

I know I'm spending half this letter talking about Wattpad popularity, but that's what you fixated on when you first began writing. To argue on your behalf, I see so many people preaching about how you should write for yourself, and not for others. While that's true, it's also in our nature to seek validation from others. There, the tea has been served. I must stress that while numbers don't define your worth, it's not a sin to care about them. When those numbers increase and you hit milestone after milestone, it makes you smile, and trust me, you need to smile more.

Right, so, let's judge your writing now. Your grammar is fine, thank the gods, but drop the dashes in every sentence. Use some semicolons, some commas, or anything else, really. Also, please, I beg of you, plan your damn stories. Just sketch out a plot, nothing super detailed. Give me a framework to tangle with, because three years later, I'm trying to rewrite your first novel, and I'm having a helluva difficult time figuring out what the fork was going on in your brain when you wrote the first draft.

Next tip, cut down on the exclamation marks. Dotting them here and there is no problem, but the words should be able to scream for themselves without a punctuative aid. Also, cut down on them adverbs. Think of them as, I don't know, wasabi or something. Tastes good in tiny amounts, burns off your taste buds in large amounts. And most important of all, love what you write. You may be a mess and your grades may be dipping lower than the public's respect for Harvey Weinstein, but you love writing. So keep doing it.

But as much as you love Wattpad, you can't just use it to avoid your problems. You need to go out and see the world. Living in fantasies may be great, but you should experience life too. That's your problem. You get too invested in the Internet. You need a balance between your online life and your real life. Make sure you eat enough, don't stay up until three in the morning to finish writing a chapter, and for goodness' sake, crack open a textbook and study. You need to think about university in a couple of years.

Another important note, you're truly going to experience the best of both worlds on Wattpad. You'll experience your ups and downs, struggle to gain readers, and be ecstatic when the numbers skyrocket. You'll make amazing friends on here, but there'll also be people who backstab you, take advantage of you, or just suck. It's just a part of the journey. A super long journey, mind you. Your account turns six years old this August, can you believe it?

Side note four, I can't believe you've stuck with this writing thing for so long. You usually don't stick to a hobby for more than two weeks. I'm proud of you, you know. You've accomplished a lot over the years.

So, that covers everything I want to say to you. It's weird, you know, how easily I can judge you, but how difficult it is for me to praise you. A writer's worst critic is him or herself, I suppose. If I could travel back in time and make you read this, you would scoff and cringe at how cheesy this is, but these are things that you need to hear. You forked up a lot, but you also succeeded too. So, if there's one thing I can say to you, it's this.

You write, therefore you're a writer. You may be writing a load of dung, but you're a writer. No need for adjectives here. No need to be an amazing writer, or a phenomenal writer, or a super mega foxy awesome hot writer. Just be a writer. Keep writing. Everything will fall into place before you know it.

Love,
Your future self

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"Aw, wasn't that sweet?"

"Zzz... hmm? Is that the end?"

"Yes, you lazy fedora! How long were you asleep?"

"Not long enough. I heard the painfully sappy parts."

"All of it was painfully sappy."

"You just said it was sweet five seconds ago!"

"That's because Yilei was in the room!"

"Oh yeah! Where did she head off to?"

"Probably the bookstore to blow money on new releases."

"To be fair, that's money worth spending."

"You know what else is money worth spending? A giveaway! Yilei will be giving away a shoutout, a chapter dedication, and best of all, a $10 USD Amazon eGift card to one winner!"

"Make sure to enter that giveaway! If you don't, I will."

"Everyone knows you have rotten luck with giveaways."

"I keep telling you, they're rigged! Lots of people must have a grudge against me."

"I wonder why."

"I know, right? How could they hate this beautiful face?"

"It's not hard. I hate it."

"Aha! You didn't deny that it's beautiful."

"Ugh, you're insufferable. Anyway, Yilei told me to thank Kelly for hosting this awesome event, and she also sends love to the Spy Fam, whatever the fork that is."

"Yes, they get it, hugs and kisses, whatever. Do you have a puppy I can cuddle?"

"Be patient, I'll take you to the pet store after I wrap this up. Cheers, everyone, and thank you for reading!"

★ ★ ★ TRANSLATED POST: Mandarin★ ★ ★

evethespy 演示: 一封给年轻的我的信   

1, 2, 3, 测试. 麦克风开了吗?"

"你能把麦克风递给我吗? 我想戏剧性地宣布我在这里!"

"你说话时已经宣布啦, 你这只乌龟!"

"我妈妈跟我说,如果你没有什么好的可以说, 那就什么都不要说."

"你能不能安静点,让我把我要说的部分讲完?"

"喂, 你看, 有只小狗在弹钢琴!"

"什么? 在哪里?"

"女士们,先生们, 小狗们, 欢迎来到 Wattpad社区派对!"

"等等, 哪里来的小狗? 那是我的热线!"

"在六个月的时间里, 我坐在那里没有事干. 但是现在, 我终于可以宣布我回来啦!"

"嗨嗨, 你是说你回来了?"

"哦, 忘了你还在这里."

"等下去停车场见. 当我的脚踢到你不能喘气时就知道我的存在了."

"为什么我要去停车场? 我等下坐公车回家."

"无论如何,这是轶蕾第二次参加这个活动. 她是社区派对二年级."

"所以,有很多偷偷参加的是没有经过家长同意的?"

"不过, 这个派对是不可以错过的. 这次她要给年轻的自己写一封信, 是不是很有趣?"

"我要声明的是, 这是给她刚刚开始在 Wattpad 上写的自己."

"好的, 他们明白的."

"你知道的, 我还是不知道我们在说什么."

"就这样继续吧."

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亲爱的年轻的我,

你对将来有如此高的期望.

等等, 听起来应该不是那么病态.

在你悲伤的时候并想钻到毯子下连续无数次地看八部哈里波特电影时, 先来听我说说.我想说的是, 不管怎样, 你已经如此沉迷于 Wattpad 的名声. 备注一,你将来的自己,是刚刚看完 The Good Place, 然后又一次被 Netflix 的黑洞吸入. 备注二, 电视剧可以成为很好的写作灵感. 等等, 我在说什么?

问题是，你有太高的期望。你的第一个故事有数百万读者？有成千上万的追随者？没有你想象的那么容易。而且，很少人能够立即获得成功。如果你真的想在你家门口堵着一堆读者，你可以只在标题中写上"坏男孩"，但我知道这不是你的风格。

无论如何，你需要知道，好事情需要时间，成功的大部分归功于运气。所以，除非你准备好运气药水，否则 Wattpad 的受欢迎程度主要取决于你是否在正确的时间在正确的地方写下正确的东西.

另外，在 Wattpad 之前，除非是英语课程，否则你从来没有写过东西，所以可能你的写作是垃圾。不过，别担心。毕竟这是第一份草案。说到这，是时候放弃你的完美主义心态了。一个不好的初稿？每个人都有一个。没有瞬间成名？也很常见。请记住，即使是最成功的作家也从无到有。你不是一朵特殊的雪花。

你可能已经开始放慢 Wattpad, 第一本小说, 你的几千观点和五个活跃的读者，你拿巧克力贿赂他们两个读，但你需要听到这个。你可能感觉不会让事情变得更好，而且你永远都会陷入低谷，但如果你有足够的耐心来等待它们，好事就会发生。你的故事会赢得读者。你会得到成功的大奖。人们会喜欢你的写作。如果你只是继续写作，你会成为一个更好的作家。

请记住，当你不停地刷新页面，想看看这个故事的观看次数是否已经增加，哪怕是多一次阅读? 那么，这里是一些建议:不要管它。相信我,关闭网站，做一些爆米花，一小时后再回来。如果你沉迷于某事，那永远不会发生。当你忘记它们的时候，好事也会发生.

如果我告诉你，在你开始写作三年之后你会梦想成真，你会如何反应？你可能会欣喜若狂。这是你想要的，对吧？成千上万的追随者，数百万读者,热忱的粉丝和朋友。你很幸运能够得到幸运。或者，你也认为这是你所需要的快乐吧。好吧，再想一想,不是这样的。

在 Wattpad 上的受欢迎并不会带走压力,它不会消除生活中的问题。这不是一个奇迹。名气永远不应该是你的价值的衡量标准。你知道那会是什么？不健康,就像前几天你在麦当劳吃了三包炸薯条一样。备注三:多吃沙拉。

另外，随着所谓的受欢迎程度越来越大，并不是所有的曝光都会友好。相信我，你会收到类似死亡威胁，仇恨评论和种族诽谤。你将不得不离开 Wattpad 一下，让自己的脑子休息下。你知道吗？没关系。慢慢来。棍子和石头可能会打断你的骨头，但是语言也会伤害你。有些读者忘记了作家是真正感受到事物的人们。

只要删除你认为应该删除的评论，然后继续。他们不值得你花时间。哦，要留下建设性的批评，即使你讨厌看到它, 但它可以帮助你成长为一名作家。但是如果只是讨厌你的？删除,取消关注,保持沉默,擦掉它。

我知道我花了一半的时间谈论 Wattpad 的流​​行，但是这是你刚开始写作时所关注的。我看到很多人在讲你应该怎样写自己，而不是为别人写。虽然这是真的，但我们的本质也是寻求别人的认同。我必须强调，虽然数字并没有定义你的价值，但关心它们并不是一种罪过。当这些数字增加，并一次次达到里程碑，它会让你微笑，相信我，你需要更多的微笑。

好吧，现在我们来谈谈你的写作。你的语法不错，但是在每句话中都要用破折号。使用一些分号，一些逗号，或其他任何东西，真的需要吗? 另外，请你计划好你的故事。只是勾画出一个情节，没有什么超详细的。给我一个框架，因为三年后，我试图重写你的第一本小说，但是我很难知道当时你写第一稿的时候在想什么。

下一个建议，减少用感叹号。它们在这里和那里点缀是没有问题的，但是这些词语应该能自己喊出来。另外，减少副词。把它们想象成芥末,当量很少时,味道很好，但是量大的话,会烧掉你的味蕾。最重要的是，爱你写的东西。你的生活有时可能一团糟，但你喜欢写作,所以继续做你喜欢的事吧.

但是，尽管你喜欢 Wattpad，你不能只用它来避免你其他的问题。你需要出去看看这个世界。生活在幻想中可能很棒，但你也应该体验生活。你的问题是,你太迷恋互联网。你需要在你的网络生活和现实生活之间取得平衡。你要吃好，不要因为要写完那一章熬到凌晨三点.你有学习的使命,你要打开一本教科书学习, 因为你需要考虑在几年后上大学.

另一个重要的注意事项是，你真的要在 Wattpad 上体验两全其美。你会体验到你的起伏，为获取读者而奋斗，在数字飞涨时感到高兴。你会在这里碰到很好的朋友，但也会有人背叛你，或者利用你。这只是生活旅程的一部分,你的漫长旅程的一部分. 你的账户在今年八月已经六年了，你能相信吗?

备注四，我不敢相信你已经写了这么长时间了。你的热情通常不会超过两个星期。我以你为荣,你过去几年完成了很多。

所以，这涵盖了我想对你说的一切。很奇怪，我很容易评判你，但是我多么难以赞美你。我觉得一个作者最糟糕的批评者是他或她自己。如果我能够回到过去，让你读到这些，你会嘲笑这是多么俗气，但这些都是你需要听到的。你搞砸了很多，但你也有成功。所以，如果有一件事我要对你说，那就是这个。

你写，所以你是一个写作者。有些你写的可能无意义，但你是一个作家。不需要形容词。没有必要成为一个超级作家，或一个非凡的作家。就只是做一个写作者。继续写吧， 在你感觉到之前，一切都会好的。

爱你的,
你真诚的自己

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"嗨, 是不是很甜美?"

"Zzz... 嗯... 这就结束了吗?"

"是的, 你这个磕睡虫! 你睡了多久?"

"还没睡够呢. 我听到那个痛苦的部分."

"所有的部分都感觉痛苦."

"你五秒前还说很甜美!"

"那是因为轶蕾在房间里!"

"哦耶! 她要去哪里?"

"可能去书店继续把钱花在新出版的书上吧。"

"客观地说, 那些钱值得花。"

"你知道还有其他地方值得花钱吗? 就是给予! 轶蕾会为此活动作推广并吸引她的读者来参加, 并会为此活动特别写一个章节,同时把 10美元的亚马逊礼劵送给获胜者!"

"那你要保证参加那个活动, 如果你不参加, 我会参加的."

"人人知道你有烂运气."

"我告诉过你, 他们非法操纵! 很多人讨厌我."

"我想知道为什么？"

"我知道, 对吧? 他们怎么会讨厌这张美丽的脸?"

"这不难啊, 我讨厌它."

"哈, 你不否认这是张美丽的脸."

"你真让人难以容忍. 不过, 轶蕾告诉我谢谢 Kelly 安排这次超棒的活动, 并且把她的爱送给她的粉丝."

"是的, 他们知道了. 拥抱和亲吻,随便吧. 嘿, 你有只小狗可以给我抱抱吗?"

"耐心点, 我把这个包好后带你去宠物店. 再见! 谢谢阅读!"

★ ★ ★

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