Percy

I don't why I wanted to do this. Because as soon as I said that, I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. Something I've had before, but stopped having not long before he started to date my mom. It was linked to Gabe. Therapy mainly straightened that out.

It didn't straighten the rest of me out. I'm gay.

But hey, I managed to worry him.

"Of course," he told me and suggested we both sit down at the table. Which we did. He got me a glass of water, and I didn't touch it. I didn't trust that I could hold it down. "Is everything okay, Percy? What's going on?"

I started to shake. I couldn't talk. I was petrified, and I don't know why. There was no reason to be afraid, but I was.

"Hey," he told me and I still couldn't meet his eyes, I just couldn't. "If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to. You can wait until you're ready."

"No, I..." Was about all I could manage to tell him. He deserves to know. He deserved to know when I got home, but the others were over. I couldn't do it with them there. "You..."

Three days ago I was ready to kill myself over this. After Annabeth tried to kiss me and I ran off, I was so pissed off that I couldn't return the feelings. I had to be a freak. I couldn't just be normal and like girls. I had to be queer.

And it's not bad, don't get me wrong. It's just really fucking hard when you're not comfortable in your skin because you don't know how to accept yourself. I know I'm gay, and I love Nico for putting everything he had into me these past three days. He stopped me from doing anything. He turned a really shitty day into one that I'm never going to forget.

I didn't plan on coming home. On coming out to my parents.

The next thing you knew, I was crying.

I fucking hate myself.

I should've stabbed myself up on Olympus. I should've let Luke live. He deserved it. I don't.

Yeah, Nico knows about that. That's why he's giving everything he is to me right now. Because he knows that if he doesn't, it might send me over the edge.

Names and faces started running through my head, and it got worse. People that died. People I could've saved. That deserved so much better, and never got it.

It's my fault. I could've saved them. But I didn't.

When he asked if he wanted me to call my mom I shook my head. I wanted to talk to him, not my mom.

"Deep breaths, Percy." Paul's been teaching for years. I doubt I'm the first kid to start just having a panic attack or whatever this was in front of him. Because he actually managed to calm me down. To steady my breathing and get me to stop crying.

"What's wrong?" His voice was soft and light, as if he were any firmer or louder he thought I might have another panic attack of sorts. "I don't know what's going on, Percy. But unless you tell me what's the problem, I can't help you with it."

I nodded my head, knowing that. He had given me a stuffed fish, I think it's actually a Nemo, that I keep on my bed in case this happens. It helps me. It was a gift from my mom when I was younger. When I got anxiety and panic attacks a lot.

Thank gods, he had been patient with me. It took me a minute to collect myself and compose myself. To tell myself that there was nothing to be afraid of. He's going to be my step dad, and he already treats me like his kid. He should know.

"Um..." I was calm, but my mind was still a bit scattered. And I was stuttering really bad, too. "I have... I haven't told- told Mom about any... About any of this. Or.. or anyone really. Aside— aside Nico, I guess. But I..  uh... I um... I—"

"Percy," he reminded me, staying calm. "Just breathe. It's okay."

It took a few minutes of me stuttering over that last sentence before I could say it.

"I.. uh... Um... But I'm.." and I took a breath.

It's okay. I can do this. It's now or never.

"I'm gay."

Paul

Percy froze up, starting at the edge of the table. Just terrified that I was going to freak out on him about it or interrogate him.

But he told me that I was, Technically, the first person that he's come out to. He has yet to tell his mom. Based on what he said, I imagine Nico found out by accident of some sort. He didn't mean to come out to him, it just happened.

And you know what, that happens. It's almost ironic. I have a gay brother, I'm bi, and my sister is straight. Of course, my brother lives in Canada, my sister lives in Oregon, and I'm here. So Percy won't meet either of them until the night before the wedding when everyone flies in. My brother is planning on bringing his husband.

No, it's not like I'm not out to Sally and Percy. I've never told Percy, I told Sally when we went to class together before we started going out. But I've never hidden the fact that I'm bi. I mean, I'm pretty sure I told him about my ex boyfriend that almost killed me in college.

Yeah, that was... He's in jail now.

But either way, it's terrifying to come out to someone. On top of that, he's never done it before. The first time is probably the worst. I remember coming out to my siblings and parents in college. That was terrifying.

I knew what I had needed when I came out, though. So I gave him a hug, and I think I felt him relax a little.

"You didn't have to tell me," I insisted telling my almost step son. "You could've just brought home a guy, told me he was your boyfriend, and it would've been okay. Trust me, me and your mom have talked about it before."

"You..." And then he realized what I said at the end. "What?"

"Yeah!" I explained as Percy took a sip of his water. "It was just a lot of hypothetical stuff over the summer and all. When you were gone. I said something about how many kids there were at camp and your mom said you had at least a few friends and then first the idea of you bringing home a girlfriend came up. Your mom said... It was either Rachel or Annabeth that she said. And then we thought what if you brought a boyfriend home. We weren't here who, Grover has a girlfriend and we haven't met anyone else aside Nico. But yeah. I didn't think you'd actually go through the whole sitting down and telling me. It didn't seem like you."

"Well I did..." He was still gaining back his energy and I flashed him a smile. "I had a panic attack. But I did. Don't really want to do it again for Mom."

"If it's easier not to, then don't." I insisted, not wanting him to go through panic attack for something like that. He already has issues, he doesn't need to give himself more of them. "How did Nico find out?"

"I uh... Have this patch thing that was out of my bag." Percy explained that entire situation to​ me. "And he recognized one of them that somebody gave me as a joke— it wasn't funny— and he asked if I knew what it meant and I told him I did and he just kind of said okay and I guess he's gay, too, and it was weird. It was nice, it was a shitty day before that. But it was weird because he was just really casual about it."

Well, now that he's come out I had to ask. He's been saying no about having a girlfriend ever since I started asking. Now I know why.

Wrong fucking pronoun.

"Well if I can't ask about a girlfriend," I remarked. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"I uh... Maybe?"

I gave him The Look™. You know, the look your parents gives you when they either know you're lying or they want something out of you.

"You're 16," I told him. "Don't give me that shit. It's a yes or no. Do you have a boyfriend?"