Percy

I got in!

So we actually had something to celebrate for lunch, and that was fun.

We got back to camp towards the end of lunch, so we met everyone at lunch and they weren't expecting me. Even though Hazel definitely should've seen me this morning.

"Percy!" They said, excited to see me again as we sat down. "Oh my gods, what are you doing here?"

"Sitting down." I responded sarcastically and Piper playfully punched my arm. Which hurt, because it was my shoulder and that was bruised. "Ow. No, I'm here for a few days. I do have to go back into the city tonight, though. Before dinner."

"Can we go with?" Frank asked, which I wasn't expecting. "Then we could all go out for dinner! That'd be fun!"

"I mean... Sure." I figured it could work out, shrugging. "I just have to drop off a payment and pick stuff up. It won't take long."

"Which leaves more time for dinner." Annabeth pointed out. "I'd say let's let Nico choose, but then there's no surprise and we're going to Olive Garden."

"Well yeah," I said before Nico could say anything. Joking. "That's when he can be with his people."

Suddenly my arm was slapped and I fully understand why.

"Hey!" Nico exclaimed and we all kind of chuckled. "That's racist."

"You're white." Leo pointed out to him.

"And I was born in Italy, what's your point?"

Then they understood, and promptly laughed their asses off, too.

It was fun, and I got to hang out with Grover and Annabeth as friends for the first in a long time. It wasn't even awkward!

Life might be okay.

It just might.

Peter

So he left last night and he wasn't at church and Chiron claimed he wasn't at camp and dad said he hasn't talked to him lately. Outside of dinner, at least.

So we freaked out. Mom didn't. But the rest of us did because we assumed that maybe Monday he'd be home and then we went to school and he wasn't there and he was supposed to be. A week later.

And I didn't really think about it until I overheard a kid in my class who did swimming talk about it.

"I wonder if Percy's ever coming back." He remarked to another guy next to him, who was by me. "Like, his siblings transfer here and he's not here now? I mean, Blofis is kind of weird today, too. He's on the class list."

"I hope so." The guy next to him responded, sighing. "He was a good swimmer, but he was pretty cool. He missed like all of last year, too, with his dad. He hasn't been back here since last October. It's been a year since anyone here but Blofis has seen him. I never did get to ask him out to formal. I was going to, too."

"I hope he's okay." The original kid added, looking worried. "It's been a while and I mean, he had a lot of problems. He was kind of unstable. Depressed."

That scared me, because Percy said...

"Maybe he killed himself and Blofis is in denial still."

That hour was rough and I didn't focus at all, freaking out mentally because my brother might've killed himself and how would we know he didn't?

I hid in the bathroom for a solid five minutes before deciding that maybe he had his phone on him. Maybe he'd answer a call from his brother. After all, he did seem really happy when I woke up.

But then again, according to those guys, he tried to kill himself at the start of last year. He was in the bathroom and somebody tried to talk him out of it and it didn't work and staff members were on their way, but he slit his wrists anyways and sat in a hospital for four days.

He did that three times, according to what I've heard. Twice in ninth grade, once in 10th. We're juniors now.

I called him and it rang three times before he answered.

"Hey, Peter," he said, as if he wasn't missing off the grid out of nowhere. "What's up?"

I wasn't sure if I should cry or scream at him.

"What... What's up?" I repeated, kind of pissed off that he's been gone, without a word, for this long. Especially after Penelope ran away when we were little and we freaked out. "Percy, you've been gone for a week! I was worried that you killed yourself or something! Where the fuck are you?"

"Oh, uh..." He didn't want to talk about it, of course, but he also knew he didn't have much of a fucking choice. "Yeah, sorry that I didn't say anything. I've been busy and—"

"Percy, you left in the middle of the night without a word." I didn't want the excuses as to why I don't know where he is. I didn't want it. "you could've left a note or made a call. It's been over a week. You—"

"I know, Peter." My twin stopped me and I kind of realized that all of those suicide attempts people were talking about weren't just bullshit. He sounded frustrated and I'm not even mom. "Okay? I know. I know I could've done something else. I know I could've left something for you guys to know. I know that it hurts you guys. I remember how it felt when Penelope ran away, when you went into a coma. It sucks, I get it and I feel bad for putting you through it, but..."

"But what?" I was frustrated, and as much as I knew he wasn't 100%, I was kind of selfish. He's my brother. He can't leave like that. Not right after we're all together again. That's now how this works. "Percy, you can't just leave like that! I thought that you might've killed yourself!"

"And?"

I really wish I had realized the impact I had on my brother. I didn't. I didn't know where he was or what he was doing. Had I, I would've calmed him down.

"Percy, what's wrong with you!?" I snapped at my brother because I hate feeling like this. Like I'll never see him again. "Sure, mom's homophobic. What's new? If she doesn't like your boyfriend, who really gives a shit anyways?"

"Maybe I give a shit!" Percy snapped and I heard it and that put me back in place really quick. "Did you ever think about that, Peter!? Did you ever consider that maybe I left for a good fucking reason!?"

"Well no, but... You didn't have to. You should come home." I told my brother, not wanting to piss him off. "It's been a long time since all three of us have been together and..."

"Oh my gods, I'm done with this bullshit." Percy snubbed me there and that was it.

We were in Paul's room after that's and not ten minutes later, he got a call on his cell phone. Mom having just left for a business trip.

The call definitely put him into shock. It wasn't long. Maybe two minutes, and the most he said was that we'll be there.

"What happened?" Penelope asked as Paul grabbed his sweater and us, our bags. He left grading stuff. Just had the essentials.

"They found your brother. He's at camp, they didn't want your mom knowing that after last night's incident."

"That's good, though." Penelope remarked and noticed how he didn't look very happy or relieved. "Is it good, right?"

"That he's not missing? Yeah. Sure."

"Why'd they call if they didn't want mom knowing?" I questioned that, though. "She could've answered your phone if we were home."

Paul waited until we got in the car, after Penelope had another question.

"And why are we in a hurry? He's fine, right?"

"He uh... No." Paul answered slowly coming to terms with it. "I wouldn't call it that."

"Why not? I mean, the argument was a week ago and—"

"He tried to kill himself." Paul snapped at us, sighing and turning into the main road to get to camp. "Like five minutes ago. That's why he called. They found him cut up with an empty bottle of his antidepressants. He's in urgent care, they're pumping him now."

But the thing was, as much as he had an initial shock, Paul wasn't surprised. He talked about it like it's happened before and it's just another time.

"You... Don't seem surprised." Penelope was the one who pointed it out to our step dad. I hated this.

"Yeah, I know." Paul assured us that we were accurate in his reaction. "That's how it is when he's tried to half a dozen times before. And the last time that I know of, he didn't make it. He was dead for a month and I don't really know but..."

A silence settled over the car and it states that way until we got to camp and found his room, which he had just gotten to. Asleep. Covered in cutting cars. Looked like shit. Like he's dead. Had the heart monitor been gone, I would've figured he died..

But for some reason him being suicidal and in this much pain seemed so much worse than just dying by chance.

He looked like a glass vase. Hollow, pale, almost transparent in expression.

Like he was being serious when he said he was done and hung up.

And it's not like he has depression. Not that I know of, at least. He had anxiety when we were younger, but it wasn't bad. Not by any means. He wouldn't kill himself. He's not like that. He's never been like that.

"Is he... Gonna wake up?" I asked Chiron as he closed the door.

"He will wake up, Peter." The centaur assured me. "He's not in a coma. He lost a lot of blood, we had to transfuse, he's tired. Will is looking through the cabin now to see if he maybe wrote anything. He did last time, but last time seemed to be more planned out than this."

Dad was here, he took Paul into the hall to talk with him.

"He's done this before?" Penelope asked him, sounding kind of afraid. "This isn't just because he's stressed or...?"

"He's done it before." Chiron confirmed, nodding his head and sighing. "Last August. He died. Hades made some sort of deal with him and he came back, was fine for quite a while. Now suddenly he's trying to get away from your guy's mother, which isn't normal for him, and he won't explain why. He doesn't want her here. Or knowing he's here."

That didn't assure either of us, and then something broke out at camp, I don't really know what, but we were told to stay inside and by the time Percy woke up he was taken to a meeting with a bunch of other people, councilors maybe, and we didn't even get to talk to him. Paul was told to go home. But we had to stay.

They wouldn't tell us what was going on, or anyone. We just had to wait, which sucked. By the time we found anything out, it was dinner. Percy was there. News didn't really get out, apparently. About him like trying to kill himself. They did notice that he was a little off, though.

"You feeling alright?" Leo asked Percy after everyone sat down with their food.

"Hm? Yeah." My brother insisted, shrugging when he really shouldn't. "Just a weird afternoon. Apparently they called Paul and told him I tried to kill myself after the kid accidentally hit me with his hilt and I went to take a painkiller and then I hit my head and yeah. It took me a half hour of explaining myself to Chiron and my dad and Paul for them to believe me that I'm fine. I hate having three dad's sometimes."

"You make it sound like your dad left, married a dude, and your mom remarried." Jason remarked.

"You're saying it didn't?" Percy joked and rolled his eyes. "Because with how much Chiron and my dad talk about me, he might as well be my dad. He's been on my ass about every problem I've ever had since I was 12. It's annoying."

"You're not wrong." Annabeth agreed with that statement. "I once called him dad and... That was awkward. Then again, I did the same thing to Luke once. I also called Thalia Mom once."

"Who's Luke?" It was a fair question, coming from us.

"Oh, a camper who came here a while back." Percy explained to us. And then said the next part as if it was normal. "You'll never meet him, he's dead. Died a couple years ago now."

"It's only been a little over a year, Percy." Annabeth pointed out.

"I don't remember half of it and it still feels like 10."

"No, that's when I ran away." Penelope told him.  "That was ten years ago. Now Peter just has to run away."

"I'm not running away." I insisted, putting my glass of water down. "I was in a coma for 7 years, I'm not running away. I think we left Percy alone for a little too long. Gabe's rubbing off on Mom."

"I never would've guessed." Percy said, dripping with sarcasm. "It's not like she didn't beat the shit out of me last week or anything."

"Your... Your family has issues?"

"Just a bit."