Leo

The others still had to leave the next day, despite Nico's state. They didn't want to, but there wasn't much of a choice. Camp doesn't cover cancelled flights and that sort of thing.

I spent the day with one eye open just in case anything happened and I never heard anything about Nico. But there were camp visitors.

Percy's parents. They had stuff for just like a few of his friends that they found in his room. They looked terrible. Which, of course they did. Their son killed himself a week ago. And the last time they saw him was last October, apparently.

Of course, Rachel and Grover got stuff. They already mailed Annabeth's stuff. Clarisse. They had stuff for Thalia. And then a whole box for Nico.

I mean, it wasn't a huge box. But still.

"Hey, Leo." Grover said, having not heard the news yet, apparently. "Do you know where Nico is? Sally and Paul have stuff for him."

"I can... I can bring it to his cabin." I suggested. "He's not going to be able to get it."

"Is he with his dad?" Sally asked me. "If so, we can come back next week or he can stop in if he wants."

"No, he's uh..." I didn't want to tell them he tried to kill himself being their son did and that's why they're here. "There was an accident and he like hit his head or something so he's in the infirmary. It happened this morning, I think. He fell into a coma. He should be staying here this year, though, so I can bring his stuff to his cabin."

So they gave me Nico's stuff and went to visit him.

Despite it having been a week since Percy died, his room has gone untouched. The cabin has. Nobody has gone in it since he died.

It definitely felt weird, but I went in. And I could just... Could tell that he had planned all of this. His room was all sorted out and cleaned up. Everything was in boxes. Only one thing was out. A letter.

The suicide note we never found.

I made a group call once I realized what it was. Luckily, everyone answered.

"Hey, Leo, any update on Nico?" Piper asked me as Annabeth answered last. I really hope she pulls through this.

"Uh, nothing new. Nothing bad, I guess." I told them, shrugging. "I found stuff, though. In Percy's cabin."

"Okay?"

"So first off, he definitely has been planning doing what he did." I said, moving my phone so they could see around his cabin. "It's completely cleaned out and everything is sorted and boxed. The only thing that isn't in a box is this paper."

"What does it say?" Jason asked me, sounding as nervous as we all looked.

I sighed and picked it up, reading it out loud.

"To whomever found this, congratulations. If this is out, it means one thing and one thing one: I'm dead.

"There's a few ways that this could've happened, but no matter the cause, this letter is it. Whether Luke kills me this week, or something happens in the future, or maybe I kill myself. The options are limitless. But either way, I'm dead. I have everything sorted out by who gets what or what gets thrown and what doesn't. Follow it or don't, I guess I'll never find out if you don't. If anyone else has died, there should be a note on their box saying who it's going to instead. Just follow what they say. Or don't. I'm dead.

"On the back of this page I might write more, when I get closer to my death. If not, hopefully everyone knows what happens.

"I guess I'll see whoever this is wherever I end up. If not, it was an honor. Perseus Jackson. August 18, 2005."

Before I flipped it over, Annabeth said something.

"2005..." She remarked and sighed. "that was after we told him about the prophecy and Luke leaving camp... That was... Shit, four years ago now."

"Is there anything on the back?" Frank asked and I flipped it over, nodding. There was actually a lot of writing. Which was impressive with how dyslexic Percy was.

"Read it."

I took in a deep breath, starting the reading of Percy Jackson suicide note.

"I've written this letter a minimum of half a dozen times just this last year and I'm fucking done with all of it. Fuck. This. Life.

"Today is August 18. It's 7:42 AM right now, and I'm about to head off for my last meal ever. Assuming I eat any of it. It's my 17th birthday, but that doesn't matter much, does it? After last year, not much ever matters anymore. I thought it'd get easier and it never did. I still have nightmares about Luke and Ethan and every fucking kid that died.

"Sure, I blame myself. What else am I supposed to do? I could've helped them or warned them or even stop some of them from dying. Hell, I was there when Luke died. Bianca. Even if I lived another 80 years, even if Nico died, I don't think I'd ever forgive myself for what happens to her. For what Nico had to go through because I was such a dumbass and had to go on the quest.

"If anyone sees me kill myself today, or if they bring me in, I guess I'm kind of fucked. Everything's ready to go. Home is sort of a mess, but so was my life. I'll find a way. I'm done with every fucking thing that ever happened to me. And sure, it's a cowards way out, but I've never been much good at being brave.

"I don't know who will find this or if they'll even look at it before raiding my cabin and chucking everything. I hope they don't. I had a lot of stuff for a lot of people that I thought they'd like. But I suppose somebody will want an explanation. So here's my sob story. The one I never told anyone. Mom, Grover, Annabeth... Sorry you didn't find out sooner."

My eyes looked down at the next thing. It was a list of things. And I was so far into shock, I don't know how I kept reading.

"1. The first time I bought a razor was when I was 10. It was to cut. It sat in my bedroom drawer for six months before I used it.

2. For two years, my best friend was my step cousin that I had met three times and talked to once. Her name was Irene. She killed herself when I was 7 and she was 15.

3. As bruised as I was every day, I wasn't treated that bad at school ever. I only ever got in a handful of fights. I made up all that shit that stuff happened at school or I was being clumsy. They came from Gabe.

4. Gabe, my mom's ex-husband, abused me my entire childhood. I didn't realize it wasn't normal until 2nd grade when I had a play date for the first time at Brian Williams house. His parents were really nice. Gabe put me in the hospital over a dozen times and blamed it on fights I got in at school. He threatened to kill me, so I didn't deny it.

5. I've already tried to kill myself on many occasions before today. The first time was when I was 12 and I was home from Yancy (that's what I never told you, Grover. Sorry) and Gabe had just beat the shit out of me. Raped me, too. Tried to overdose on painkiller and woke up the next morning. The last time, before today, was last year after the war. Annabeth knocked on the door right before I took Riptide out.

6. I wrote this in 5, but Gabe also raped me a few times. Again, I kept my mouth shut. Sorry, Mom. I wanted to live back then.

7. I've yet to step foot in a therapists office.

8. I think I was 15 when I realized I wasn't straight. It took a few months to realize I was gay. It didn't take me long after that to realize that I had been so worried about Nico because I liked him. He already hated me by then. It never went away. It was dumb.

9. I've been planning how this would work out ever since I got my memory back this summer.

10. I blamed myself for every single death that happened. Even Gabe's. And even though I'm only 17, it was too much.

11. I cared about each and every one of you."

I paused, taking in a shaky breaths. We were all in tears.

"I am so sorry." Percy wrote down only a week ago. "That I can't do this. There were people who had it so much worse than I ever did and they lived on. I'm sorry that I can't. But another night of staring at my wall and sobbing is too much. I am drained in every way possible and I have tried for the last month to make it better and it's only gotten worse.

"I don't think a therapist could've ever helped. medication didn't. I was just never destined to make it this far in life and you can't argue with destiny. I spent the last three weeks of my life feeling more empty and hollow and worthless than I ever had before. Or at least that's how it seemed.

"So if you're ever wondering why I killed myself, there you have it. My only request is that I don't have a funeral. After I walked in on my false one, I've never liked the idea. Just please, get everything to everyone. It's my will. Those boxes are my will.

See ya fuckers in hell, cause that's where I'm heading to next.

Yours truly,
Perseus Jackson"

And that was it.

The last we heard from Annabeth was one of her brothers come into her room and ask if she was okay before she broke down crying and ended the call. She hasn't told her family what had happened yet.

Everyone else had been in shock. Crying. Emotional. I would've stayed on the call longer, but I got one from Will. They found Nico's suicide note.

It was too much.