Chapter 71 | Getting ready

Isabella:

On the first day of spring break, I wake up to Lucas holding his laptop against his window, the screen opened up to a slideshow of little animated motivational posters.

I've grown accustomed to Lucas waking me up early in the morning so I'm not as grumpy anymore when he calls. That means that this time, I actually manage to muster up a smile when I see him at his window. However, I do tell him over the phone that he has to come over and help me choose an outfit, simply because he woke me up at 5:57 am instead of 6 am on the dot but Lucas happily obliges and doesn't seem to mind at all.

I decline the call after we say goodbye and pull open the window to let fresh air in. Bright light streams in through the glass, casting a slight golden tint across my room and when I look up, the sky is a bright blue with not a single cloud in sight.

The weather is beautiful today and I hope it stays this way over the next two weeks. We have lots of plans for the course of this break.

Seeing as how a couple of weeks after the break, exam season will begin, our grade has collectively decided to make the most of the short time we have until then and until we have to begin hardcore studying. This means that invitations for several house parties have been circulating round all of last week and Mia, Grace, Dylan, Aidan, Lucas and I have created a whole agenda of everything we want to do within the next two weeks. Mostly it consists of planning and getting ready for the huge joint birthday party Grace and Aidan are throwing next Tuesday, attending all of the other parties taking place this break and simply hanging out at Millie's.

Dylan and Mia had taken the responsibility to write everything we were planning to do in immense detail on the back of Mia's math homework worksheet that day we had been talking about break in Lucas' house early last week...the day I had also told Dylan and Aidan about my eating disorder.

Yep, I had gone through with telling them.

I think it's important to point out that telling the boys about my disorder had been an experience to say the least.

It had started off...unexpectedly and the whole beginning to finish had been shambolic.

Overall, it had gone a little something like this:

Me: *nervously returns to the living room after Lucas and I finish eating hummus* "Erm, Aid, Dyl, I need to tell you something."

Dylan: *glances at me curiously then to Lucas standing behind me, then back to me, then back to Lucas then to Aidan sitting on the couch also staring at me curiously*

Aidan: *gives Dylan a look*

Dylan: *gives Aidan the same look back*

Dylan: *looks away from Aidan and looks back to me.*

Dylan: *Dylan grins excitedly and screams* "I KNEW IT!"

Me: *stares at Dylan weirdly and confusedly*

Lucas: *also stares at Dylan weirdly and confusedly*

Dylan: *turns to Aidan and extends his palm out* "Haha bitch, give me my money!"

Aidan: *looks annoyed and reaches into his pocket for his wallet*

Dylan: *looks happy and screams again excitedly* "I knew it!"

Me: *continues to look at Dylan and Aidan strangely* "...You knew I had an eating disorder?"

Lucas: "You knew Bella had an eating disorder...and bet on it?" *looks royally pissed off*

Dylan: *is about to nod his head but then stops and swivels his head so fast back to look at Lucas and I, I'm surprised his head doesn't snap straight off his neck*

Aidan: *freezes and stops taking money out of his wallet*

Dylan: "What?"

Aidan: "What?"

Lucas: *looks like he's about to murder Dylan and Aidan*

Dylan: *scrunches up his face* "You're telling us that you have an...eating disorder?"

Me: "...Yes."

Aidan: "Not that you and Lucas are dating?"

Me: "No..."

Dylan: "Oh."

Aidan: "Oh."

Aidan: *puts his wallet away*

Dylan: *takes a seat on the couch beside Aidan, looking shocked*

Lucas: *stops angry breathing*

Lucas: *squeezes my shoulder before taking a seat on the other couch to let me explain*

Me: * begins to tell them*

Dylan: *listens silently and intently*

Aidan: *also listens silently and intently*

Me: *finishes telling them*

Dylan: *tells me that it sucks that I had to/have to go through that*

Aidan: *also tells me that it sucks that I had to/have to go through that*

Dylan: *gets up from the couch*

Aidan: *gets up from the couch*

Dylan: *tackles Lucas and begins beating him*

Aidan: *also tackles Lucas and begins beating him*

Dylan: *tells Lucas that he's an ass and tells me that's he's sorry for not noticing what Lucas was saying and telling him to stop*

Aidan: *also tells Lucas that he's an ass and tells me that's he's sorry for not noticing what Lucas was saying and telling him to stop*

Me: *tells them it's okay and that Lucas is making it up to me*

Dylan: *nods, gives Lucas one last smack, gets up, brushes his hands on his thighs before resuming to eat pizza*

Aidan: *nods, gives Lucas one last smack, gets up, brushes his hands on his thighs before walking over to me and giving me a hug*

Grace: *walks back into living room after coming back from the bathroom*

Mia: *walks back into living room after coming back from chucking rubbish away*

Grace: "Why does Lucas look like he's just been through a train wreck?"

Me: *explains what just happened*

Mia: *stomps her feet and sulks that she just missed Lucas getting beat up*

See, it was a whole experience.

I shake my head as I think about that day and begin to move away from my window so can begin to get ready.

"Morning mija," my mom greets as I'm walking across the landing to get to the bathroom. She's walking out of her room and towel drying her hair as Sofia follows, running out and colliding straight with my legs.

"Isa!" She yells and I ruffle the top of her hair, feeling eternally grateful that she's stopped calling me that ridiculous nickname.

One time last week, when Lucas had come over for dinner, he had spent the evening teaching Sofia not to call me 'Belly'. At first there was refusal and Sofia the little brat she is wouldn't stop calling me that horrendous name but after some time, Lucas had somehow managed to get her to switch to calling me 'Isa' instead and thank God that's all she calls me now, seeming to have forgotten all about 'Belly'.

"Hey, Ma, hey Sof," I return.

"Your abuela's made some breakfast downstairs if you're feeling it," my mom tells me, running a hand through the damp ringlets of her hair and I nod my head.

"Yeah, I'll come downstairs to eat after Lucas comes over."

"Alright," my mom smiles, eyes twinkling excitedly. " Mija I can't believe you and Lucas are dating and you never told us!"

Immediately, I backtrack a little. "Dating?" I repeat. "What?"

"Oh," my mother waves her hand dismissively, his grin only widening. "I was speaking to Lucas' mom before they left for Greece and she was telling me how Lucas told her that you two are dating!"

My eyes widen slightly. "Oh right," I snort, realising that Lucas' parents still think Lucas and I are 'dating' after he had lied and told them so when he got grounded for throwing the party they had caught us making out in.

"No Ma," I tell her. "We're not dating, it was a misunderstanding. Lucas and I are just friends."

"Just friends?" My mom repeats.

"Yep."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

"Oh," my mom's smile tips down into a frown and she furrows her eyebrows disappointedly. "That's sad."

"Sad?" I repeat, quirking an eyebrow amusedly.

"Yes," my mother continues to sulk causing me to laugh slightly.

I step past her to head into the bathroom, swinging my towel over my shoulder and trying to close the door as fast as possible before Sofia makes a run inside. My mom swoops down and lifts Sofia up before she can follow me in and I hear her beginning to cry outside from being shut out but I drown out her wailing by turning on the shower.

I peel off my clothes and step under the basically scalding stream of water and sigh when the heat begins to warm my muscles. I lather up some of my body wash and then proceed to wash my hair afterwards. After my quick shower, I dry myself off, lotion up before pulling on my underwear and then a bathrobe on top seeing as how I've yet to pick up an outfit.

I then return to my room and do the rest of my morning routine as I wait for Lucas to come over and as I'm in the midst of blow drying my hair after finished journaling, he strolls in through my bedroom door.

"Hey Izzy," he greets with a dimpled smile and I briefly rake my eyes down his tall frame when he comes into view and take a moment to appreciate his outfit. Today, he's wearing a simple brown sweatshirt paired with shorts and with a baseball cap perched on his dark hair.

"Hey Lulu," I grin, turning back to plug the hair drier out of the socket.

After I place it on my desk and turn around I recoil slightly in surprise when I'm met with Lucas' broadly chest.

"What-" I begin to say but before I even get to blink, he suddenly envelopes me in an unexpected hug, wrapping his arms right around me and pressing my head into his chest.

Um what is going on?

I try to say something but it comes out as an incoherent mumble but Lucas shushes me regardless and further tightens his grasp around me. My body melts into his touch but internally, I'm still frozen in surprise. His body is pressed right against mine and from our close proximity and our ridiculous height difference, my nose is pressed right into his body so when I breathe I get a whiff of his scent.

"You smell good," Lucas tells me, his chest reverberating as he speaks and my eyebrows furrow on their own accord seeing as how I had just been thinking about the same thing.

"Thanks," I say, but it comes out more of a muffled 'fanks' instead.

Lucas sighs into my hair and presses a soft kiss onto the crown of my head before resting his chin there. He continues to embrace me like this for God knows how long but when he finally chooses to step away, I'm flushed warm all over.

"What was...that for?" I ask, my eyebrows furrowing further at how unnecessarily breathless I sound.

Lucas shrugs in an unbothered manner. "Just wanted a hug."

"Oo-kay." I continue to gaze at him weirdly as he turns around nonchalantly, like what he had done wasn't random as hell and pulls open my closet door before walking inside.

"Alright, lets help you pick out an outfit for your date," he calls out to me, rummaging through the hangers.

"It's not a date."

"Sure, that's probably what you think, but does Leo think that?"

"Yes..."

"Sure."

"He doesn't think it's a date..."

Lucas merely hums in response and continues shuffling through my clothes and I can feel his unnecessary Leo hatred from all the way back here. I sit on my bed and wait for him to finish, playing with the ends of my duvet as I eye his back profile as he moves inside my closet. He pics out a couple blouses and pants but after eyeing them a bit, promptly puts them back in their original space. Finally, after a while, he pulls out a dress from the back, nods satisfactorily at it and throws it backwards at me.

"Try this on," he tells me before walking over to my dresser and pulling open the first drawer and finding my jewellery box. He pulls out a couple gold necklaces and rings and puts them on top of the dresser before turning around and walking out of the room to give me privacy to change.

I flip the dress around and peel off my bathrobe before throwing the dress over my head and push my arms through the arm holes. Once it's on, I pull the skirt of the dress down and pull my hair out of the back of my dress before moving over to my mirror to check my reflection.

The dress Lucas has chosen for me to wear is one that I've only worn once. It's a white summer dress, that ends just above the knees, with long sleeves in a unique design and a intricate detail around the bust. It's kind of showy and typically a dress I wouldn't be completely comfortable wearing; seeing as it shows a lot of my neck and legs and is more on the form fitting side, but today I'm feeling like stepping slightly out of my comfort zone for once so I'm okay that he's chosen this outfit.

As I stare at myself some more, I find myself actually liking the fit of the dress, not feeling too bothered about how it's not oversized or baggy. The dress itself is actually really cute and I guess flatters me well, it might be a little over the top for a simple day out, but it's a shame that I've only worn this once and this sudden struck of what might be confidence is enough to make me want to actually make use of the feeling that comes once in a blue moon and go through with wearing the fit.

I call out to Lucas, telling him that it's okay for him to come back in and watch through the reflection of the mirror as he pushes the door to my bedroom open and pauses as he takes me in.

His eyes widen slightly as he sweeps his gaze down my body, eyes lingering on my ass for a fraction of a second too long before drawing back up to meet my face. His eyes flicker with slight astonishment and his appreciative gaze puts the slight doubt at the back of my mind a little at ease and heighten my confidence and want to continue wearing this dress.

"Should I wear this with tights?" I say however, pointing to my legs. "I feel like too much leg is on show."

"No!" Lucas suddenly blurts in exclamation, bumping into the door frame and my eyebrows raise as he burns pink and quickly clamps his mouth shut.

He clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. "Er...I mean..." He struggles to find an excuse for his sudden outburst. "Erm...legs.."

"What?"

His mouth opens then closes like a fish and instead of replying, Lucas promptly spins around and basically runs back into the closet.

I hear him rummaging through my clothes once again and I stare in the direction of the closet confused out of my mind at what Lucas is doing. Hangers clang together and I hear my shoes dropping and a moment later, Lucas finally emerges back out holding a tattered looking oversized hoodie that I wear for my pyjamas and thrusting it in my general direction. My eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"What are you doing?"

Lucas' face is pink and he looks restrained as he tries not to glance back down at my body and keeps his gaze trained onto my face. "I think you should actually wear this instead," he tells me and my heart drops.

"What? Why?" I ask and pull my lips into my mouth nervously, my confidence diminishing. "Do I not look good in this dress?"

"NO!" His eyes fly wide open and he drops the hoodie onto the floor abruptly. "Shit, no, you look good! You look so good! Really beautiful. It's just you look....so good and really good and although it's um sunny outside it's kind of cold and windy and that dress that looks really good on you by the way, might not be enough to keep you warm and it also um might be a little too dressy seeing as you're only going to the park and Millie's, um yeah."

"Oh," I say in response to his ramble, that doesn't really make sense may I add, and wrap my arms around my stomach protectively out of instinct. I slowly turn back to the mirror and stare at my reflection some more, tightening the hold around myself and feeling the confidence wither away and doubts slowly trickle into my brain.

Do I...look bad?

Lucas wants me to wear something oversized instead of something tight...I must look bad.

The dress is tight around my bust...

"Shit Bella no," Lucas says, cutting me out of my self evaluation. Sensing my continued wariness he promptly rushes over to me, behind me so close that I can feel the heat radiating off of him.

"Hey, listen," he tells me, brushing my hair off my shoulders before tipping my chin up so I'm looking at him through the mirror and levels me with a look. "Bells you look beautiful alright, absolutely gorgeous," he continues his tone matter-of-fact and very serious. "Shit I'm sorry, I'm just being an selfish ass."

"What?"

Lucas grimaces. "I want to be the only one appreciating you in this dress...not Leo that weirdo, okay?" He explains, wincing slightly at the revelation. "Which is major assholerry of me. If you feel good in that dress then wear it, ignore my dumb ass. You look stunning okay? The dress suits you perfectly."

"Are you sure? You don't have to lie-"

"I'm not lying," he narrows his eyes. "You look amazing." He brushes his thumb against my jaw. "And I saw the way the confidence you had after you put the dress on, even if it was short lived because I opened my big mouth, so keep telling yourself you look good, because you do."

"I do?"

"Yes," he assures me in a firm manner. "Now go on, tell yourself that. The only validation you need to feel good about yourself is from you, now tell yourself to look good, tells those stupid thoughts to fuck off." He raises his eyebrows at me and I scrunch up my nose.

"Go on," he prompts once again when I've yet to say anything.

I glance up at Lucas. "I look good," I murmur quietly.

"Again. That doesn't sound very convincing."

"I look good," I say with a bit less reluctance this time.

"Okay that's better but don't tell me, I already know that," Lucas grins. "Tell yourself."

I let out a sigh and quirk an eyebrow back at Lucas before properly glancing at myself and squaring my shoulders slightly. "I look good."

"One more time."

"Really?" I blink. "Again?"

He shoves my shoulders a little, his lips tipping up into a smirk. "Just say it."

I roll my eyes in mock annoyance but look back my face in the mirror instead of Lucas. I brush my hand down the skirt of my dress and force myself to admire how it fits on my frame. "I look good, the dress is pretty and I look pretty," I say in finality.

My gaze drops from the top of my head to the tips of my toes and I let out a breath, feeling a little better about my appearance again. I then draw my eyes up my body one last time and my eyes pause momentarily on my legs as I contemplate something. After a moment of thought, I make the decision to leave the dress as it is and not wear tights.

"You thinking about not wearing tights then?" Lucas speaks my thoughts and I nod my head.

"Yeah, I think I can do it today."

"Great, because you have lovely legs," he states pointedly. "But I can't believe Leo will then have the privilege of seeing them."

"Stop with this Leo hate," I glare at Lucas and swat his chest. "It's not nice."

Lucas grumbles something incoherent under his breath as I move away from him and go over to the dresser to put on the jewellery he had set out. I shove a couple of the gold rings onto my fingers and layer two necklaces around my neck.

When I'm done, I go over to my desk and pull out my hairbrush and a white scrunchie before tying my hair into a ponytail. I then swipe a little lipgloss across my lips, brush my eyebrows and put on mascara. I decide not to go too heavy on the makeup to dress down the outfit more and once I'm satisfied with how my hair and make up has turned out, I turn back to face Lucas.

"Lucas!" I groan in exclamation when I see him literally sleeping in my bed, the covers thrown over him and his hat thrown across the floor in my room. "I just made my bed!"

"I'm sleepy," he returns, tucking the duvet under his chin. "Let me lay here until you leave and I have to go to work."

"How are you still tired?" I tut and stroll over to him, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "I thought you'd be used to waking up at 6 am everyday."

"Why would I be used to it? I've only been doing it the same amount of time as you."

"Huh?" My eyebrows furrow confusedly. "Wait what? What do you mean?"

"You think I used to wake up 6 everyday before you started doing it?" He cocks an eyebrow. "Ha! You're funny Izzy," Lucas snorts. "I used to sleep-in to at least 1pm every weekend and wake up 20 minuets before leaving for school but since January, that's when I've been waking up at 6am, when I've been waking you up."

My mouth falls open slightly. "You shifted your whole sleeping schedule for me?"

Lucas hums yes in response and snuggles deeper into my covers. "So let me nap for 30 minutes until we have to leave." He shuts his eyes for a moment before prising them open again half a second later. "Actually, wait, let me give you your note first."

He rustles under the covers as he reaches into the pocket of his shorts before pulling out the note. His hand emerges out from under the duvet a moment later, the slip of paper between his fingers.

"Isabella, your hand please," he demands and I extend out my palm.

Lucas presses the note into my hand and I notice that the piece of paper is slightly bigger than the rest have been before he closes my fist and presses a gentle kiss onto my wrist right where my pulse is. (The pulse that is thrumming like crazy as of now).

When he lets go of my hand, I open up the note excitedly and scan the scrawly handwriting getting ready to read out loud like I always do.

"Everyday, I wake up looking forward to seeing you." I say, my face already softening at the first line. "I get excited knowing that I get to spend time with you, speak with you and laugh with you. You're one of the most down to earth people that I know and everything with you is easy. You're smart, you're beautiful, you're funny and you make me smile so hard that my cheeks hurt. You're the one person I turn to for everything, who I want to talk to when I'm not feeling good or am having a bad day and you're the first person I turn to when I have good news or have something I want to share. Honestly, you're the only person who I feel like truly understands me and listens to me and cares for me. Izzy, you fill up an empty space in my heart that I never knew existed. You're really fucking amazing and I adore everything about you."

I trail off from speaking out loud as I read the last sentence, having to take a breather to process the note and what it says.

Oh my God.

Immediately a feeling of warmth washes over me and my heart leaps so high, it feels like I can feel it in my throat.

All the notes Lucas has given me since the start of the year have been beautiful in their own way, yes, the weird ones included, but as of recently the notes have definitely seemed to get more...heartfelt. There has been something different about what has been written inside these notes over the past two weeks or so and the ratio of the cheesy, light hearted notes I have received recently to the ones that are...well like this have been completely uneven and I swear, with every note I read everyday, the reaction I get to each one only seems to increase.

Today, I physically can feel my heart swelling and I have to will the fucking organ to stop doing fucking somersaults and drum against my chest so hard that it hurts. Fuck, that note was so sweet. I wait for the swarm of butterflies that invade my stomach to subside and my breathing to get in check before I even allow myself to look back up at Lucas.

However, was no point in settling my physical reaction because when I lift my gaze, I'm only met with his shut closed eyes and slightly snoring state. Christ, he fell asleep?

Somehow, this only makes my heart grow further and I chuckle as I lean over and shake his arm.

"Bro wake up," I tell Lucas beside his ear.

His chest rises and falls in a steady pace but there's no movement or indication that he's woken up so I continue to shake him some more until his eyes finally flutter open slightly.

"Wake up!"

"What?" Lucas grumbles, rubbing his eyes with the back of his knuckles and lifting his eyes slightly. "You agreed that you'd let me sleep after I give you the note!"

"Do you not want to hear what my reaction to the note is?"

"Later," he mumbles and shuts his eyes closed again before letting his head hit the pillow again with a thump.

"No not later, let me tell you."

Lucas lets out an exasperated breath. "Why can't you just tell me later, please let me sleep woman."

"You can go to sleep after I tell you."

"No."

"Please."

"Ugh fine," Lucas finally mutters, sitting back up against my head board and gesturing lazily with hand for me to continue. "Go on then."

"Okay um..." I shuffle in my seat, suddenly not knowing what exactly to say.

"Chop chop Izzy," Lucas prompts. "Some of us have got some napping to do."

I roll my eyes before clearing my throat.

"Do you...do really mean all that?" I ask him timidly causing Lucas to immediately wake up a little more and shoot me a 'duh look'

"Of course, yes."

"Really? Even all the ones you've given me all week and last week."

"Yes, I've meant every word I've written in all 84 notes."

"Even the really deep ones?"

"Yes," Lucas narrows his eyes. "Why would I make anything up."

I shrug. "I don't know...I guess I just didn't think anyone would really see or feel that way about me for real."

"Well I do," he returns nonchalantly like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Now is that all? There are only 26 minuets and counting until I have to leave."

I swat Lucas' knee and rolls my eyes again. "No, that's not all," I reply and my lips tip up into a grin when he gives me an irritated look.
I tilt my head to the side as I continue to speak.

"Thank you," I tell him earnestly. "That note was really sweet and it really means a lot that you genuinely see me that way. All the notes you give really are the highlight of my day so thank you." I brush his cheek lightly with my thumb. "Also when did you get so sappy and adorable?"

Lucas scoffs. "I've always been adorable."

I make a face. "Eh no..."

"Liar."

"I'm not lying."

"Sure," he smirks.

"I'm not a liar."

"Yes you are. And I have hard core proof." Lucas pauses to clear his throat. "Quoting from Isabella's diary, May 6th 2013. 'Lucas is adorable and cute and so cute. His hair is cute. His face is cute. His dimples are so super duper cute-"

I shove the duvet over his head, cutting him off.

"Okay you can go back to sleep now," I exclaim and Lucas' muffled laugh escapes from under the covers. "I'll wake you up in 20 minuets."

━

AUTHORS NOTE:

sorry sorry, kinda rushed this chapter when editing it because i need to do homework asap, so ignore the fact it's a little cheesy, hope you enjoyed it anyways though, love you guys, mwah - mai x