For wingsoffirelover06

Name: Scorpius

Not the most original name for a SandWing, but it is better than Scorpion, I guess.

Gender: Female

Ok

Tribe: Sandwing

Lots of SandWings lately.

Rank: Assassin (formerly) Talons of Peace (currently)

Why are there soooo many assassin OCs?

Residence: Burn's stronghold (formerly) Jade Mountain TOP camp (currently)

Alright. Makes sense, I guess. I don't like when OCs interact with canon characters, but since Burn was a princess, I'll let it slide.

Appearance: A slightly darker shade of the normal dusty sand look of a Sandwing. Her belly is a very pale sandy color. She has the diamond black patterns on her back, but they are just tattoos that she had put on to show her connection to the royal family. Her eyes are dangerously black. She has a strong muscular build. She has a pouch on her neck holding small daggers as well as many other small weapons. She sometimes can be seen wearing sheaths holding swords. She had a small place in her scales be opened enough to hide a crooked dagger inside her scales. (It's her favorite weapon because it was a heirloom)

Okay. I'm not sure that the darker shade of tan and the light belly would go together well, but I guess the contrast might look nice. Idk I'd have to see a picture. I really like the idea you had with the tattoos, it's pretty interesting. The opening in the scales is really weird though. I don't think that a dragon would just be able to.. hide something under their scales without hurting themselves. You might want to change that because it seems very unrealistic.

Personality: She is aggressive inside and out. She shows little to no mercy and hates being told she is wrong. It takes months for her to trust anyone, let alone be loyal.

Needs a lot added to it. At the moment, all of her personality traits are negative. A good personality has a balance of both good and bad.. yes, even for bad guys. I don't know if I like her being disloyal, she seemed pretty loyal to Burn. Maybe you should change that. Aggressive and merciless are okay, as long as she has some good traits as well. Maybe she's clever, good at problem solving, intelligent, things like that. Those could all be added to her personality and still work with what you already have.

Family:
Father:Jackrabbit
Mother: Cobra

Ok

Backstory: Her dad was Burn's General. Her mother was a captain. So, when Scorpius was born, Burn talon-picked Scorpius to be her assassin. When she turned 5, she was always with Burn, helping her with war planning and killing. This was until the brightest night. Burn thought that if they killed most of the DOD as eggs, the prophecy would be forgotten. Burn went to the Sky Kingdom and sent Scorpius to the Mud Kingdom and then to search the Sand Kingdom. When she went to the Mud Kingdom , she killed the wrong Mudwing egg. When she didn't find the Sandwing egg, Burn became furious. Scorpius was kicked out and having no place to go, she joined the Talons of Peace.

Ehh.. not the most original backstory. Honestly, so many people have assassin OCs, it's hard to come up with a good backstory for one. There are also a lot of plot holes here. I also don't understand how she broke the wrong MudWing egg. Clay hatched from a blood red egg, which was in the prophecy. What are the chances that there happened to be another red MudWing egg that hatched on the brightest night? Seems very unlikely. Also, I don't understand how and why she joined the Talons of Peace. I don't think they just let any dragon into their ranks without knowing who they are, especially not a SandWing with similar markings to Burn. They definitely wouldn't allow an assassin that had tried to kill the dragonets of destiny join, either. And also, why? There must be some place else she could go besides the Talons of Peace. It seems odd that she joined them.

And what happens to her after the SandWing War of Succession? Idk what happens to the Talons after that, but I assumed that they broke apart. Does she support Thorn being leader? Maybe Thorn would let her back into the Kingdom.

Other: She has a scar running under her chin that hinders her speaking and eating.

Where'd she get it?

Overall
I give Scorpius a 2/10. Sorry for being so harsh but she seems so.. unoriginal? I think everything could use work. Add more detail to her personality for sure, and the backstory could use an explanation for a lot of things. The appearance is okay, I like what you did with the tattoos, but the hiding things under her scales is.. really weird.