☾Ch. 10 | Long Road Out of Hell☽

          Despite being on other sides of the country, Chris and Ghost's dads are actually really good friends. Thank God for that because it's the only way we've gotten any information on Ghost's condition. He won't call, probably because he doesn't have the energy for it. Anytime one of the others tries to talk to Keri, he's very tight lipped about the situation. He couldn't make it more clear he hates us.

          Keri has always had this weird grudge against all of us. Especially me. It always gets nasty if we're in the same room as each other. One of those if looks could kill situations. I don't know if he feels like we steal Ghost from him or something. Maybe he's paranoid we'd take Ghost away from him. Rightfully so because after this, you bet your ass I will do all in my power to get him out of there. Keri pushed him over the edge.

          Ghost pay have been the one to swallow the pills and run the knife over his skin, but Keri was the one that pushed him to do it. I know that fight we had was a huge factor too. It would've never happened if it weren't for that fucker. Sure, I am looking for someone to blame. He is actually to blame though. I haven't told the others what I discovered because I didn't want Ghost mad at me even more.

          It's been longer than you'd think. I've managed to go two, almost three weeks without touching the phone. I did send him a text to let him know I was here for him but I left it at that. We were walking on broken glass at this point. Each step I take towards him would risk both of us bleeding. Unfortunately I can't continue this feather dance much longer. We have to go into the studio to start work on the new record. Most of us have been writing for awhile and this will just be us mushing all our ideas together.

          Ghost is still coming... Meaning we will be forced to be in the same room together. Usually I pick him up from the airport when he comes to town. Chris did it this time though. He told me I should've. I just think it's best to keep some space between Ghost and I right now. He was the one that chose to walk out on me. So, he should be the one that gets to come back to me when he wants to. I'm not forcing him.

          Myself, Vinny, and Ryan were sitting around, getting those blank stares you get in the studio It's when you get tired of trying to stick things together like puzzle pieces. Balz really doesn't come into the studio until later because he doesn't do much writing. Chris and Ghost aren't here yet. Which is kind of part of the problem. Chris can be the father figure of the band and he's the one that usually wrangles us all in. Right now we just feel like little ducklings wandering down the side of the road without a mother duck to follow.

          Finally, they walked in the door. Good, because I was about to fall asleep on Ryan. This was the first time I've seen Ghost conscious in weeks. He didn't look well. His weight was much too low for him and he was white as a sheet. I mean more pale than goth pale. Ghost didn't say a word as he gently set his bass case on the ground.

          Vinny got up off the couch and greeted him with a hug. He muttered to him, asking if he was okay and saying he missed him. You know when Vinny is taking something serious, it's bad. I rarely ever see him upset because he's a class clown. To see him like this made me realize just how badly our band would've suffered if we lost Ghost.

          "Shit." Ryan mumbled. I glanced over at him to see a string on his guitar had snapped. Normally his guitars get restrung constantly on tour but he doesn't have AJ here to do it for him. He stood up and set his guitar down. "I'll be right back. I have another set in my car."

          "I'll walk with you. I forgot my notebook in my car." Chris said.

          "And I... I have no legit excuse but I'm going to go anyways because we're totally not trying to leave you two alone so you can make up." Vinny spoke as he walked backwards out of the door.

          Chris grabbed him by the back of his shirt and yanked him down the hall. He let out an animated "Yeep!" as he was dragged away. Yeah, thanks guys. I got up and closed the door since they were apparently incapable of doing so. Then I awkwardly looked over at Ghost. He glanced down at his hands and swayed a bit.

          "I'm sorry I was such an ass to you." I told him as I walked back over to the couch, "I was just trying to help but you know what? Tough love never works. It just makes the people you care about resent you. I never meant to hurt you."

          C'mon, say something. Please. At least look at me? He just stood there for a moment. Ghost lifted his head and I saw his eyeliner run down the sides of his face. He sniffled and wiped his tears away with the back of his hand.

          "I... I should be the one apologizing. You were trying to save me from myself and I took it for granted... I'm so sorry I was such a stupid idiot." He started to sob as he choked on the end of his sentence.

          I opened my arms, gesturing him forward, "Come here."

          Ghost dropped down on the couch, falling into my arms. His head rested against my chest as he cried into my shirt. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly. He grasped my shoulder with his hand. I've never seen Ghost break like this. Yeah, he had a breakdown when his grandma passed but this is different. He was sobbing as if he was dying.

          "I can't do this anymore, Ricky." He cried, "I need out."

          I gently placed my hand on his jawline and guided his head up. His face was flushed and makeup smeared. Ghost was beautiful even when he cried. Running the pad of my thumb along his cheek, I wiped away some tears. "I will help you as long as you let me. I want you away from him as much as you do."

          "I-I'm sorry I didn't.. l-let you help me before... If I had I... I wouldn't..." His hand ran across one of the almost healed cuts on his wrist. He glanced down at it and shuttered another heavy cry.

          "Hey, we're going to get through this. Okay? I will be by your side every step of the way. No matter how you choose to do this. If you want to run and never look back, I'll help you. If you want to go to the police, I'll help you. If you want me to break his fucking face, I will." I said.

          The last part made him laugh a little. There's that pretty smile. It just makes my heart flutter. He managed to calm himself down soon enough. Ghost reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his phone and compact. He used the camera on his phone as a mirror and fixed his makeup the best he could. Even in a crisis, he's a dive. That's one of the many reasons I love him.

          He sniffled, "Keri told me he was the one that found me but my dad said it was you... Was it?"

          Keri said it was him? Are you fucking serious? That just goes to show the lengths he will go to make himself look like a decent human being. I was getting ready to get on a plane to go back to Scranton, so I guess I'm not much better.

          "I, uh, yeah." I muttered, "It was me. I was supposed to be boarding a plane when Chris called me and told me no one could get ahold of you. So I left the airport and grabbed a cab to your apartment. The old woman in the apartment under yours was in the lobby when I walked in and she was complaining about water leaking through her ceiling. That's when I knew something was wrong and I ran upstairs."

          "I'm sorry you had to see me like that. I should've never- It just felt like the only option at the time." He replied.

          "Suicide doesn't get rid of the problem. It just eliminates the chance of it getting better. As cliché as that is to say, it's true. I'm going to clean up this mess he made though. I promise." I smiled softly, "For now, we have an album to write."

          Ghost forced a small smile to reflect mine. He nodded and went to get his bass set up. The others came back in moments later. Either they had really good timing or they were listening at the door. I didn't care if they were. It meant they got a better understanding of all that happened. I'm not even sure I know what happened fully but I'm going to do my best to help Ghost.