Bengal, Chatterjee Residence

Saudamini kept the telephone receiver down of the landline, after it failed to connect with her residence. It had started to rain heavily, and seemed like all the telephones lines had gone down or been jammed

Heck, she wouldn't be able to talk with her mother now as well.

She felt her cheeks flushing as she tried to keep her tears at bay, walking up towards the windows and closing them one by one, pulling the curtains, as clouds thundered, with streaks of lightning and a heavy downpour. A gush of wind messed up her open hairs, as she managed to close the last window, in a brooding mood.

Striding up towards the bed, she took her pillow and lay over it quietly for a while. 

Blinking, as she stared at the streak of lightening visible through the curtains that was followed by a thunder. 

She huddled herself close, curling her fingers over her pillow. Her eyes flicked involuntarily towards the door of her chamber.

Yet, no sign of him. 

Messed up. That's what she felt. Whenever she tried to gather her life together, it always happened that it broke apart somehow or the other. 

Now, now Anirban too....

She felt everything falling out all at once, and she had nothing to hold onto for that moment. Empty, alone and aloof.

Perhaps, that's what her fate had. To be left alone. Forever. 

And somewhere, deep down.....she too was responsible for her own self. Only, only if she had paid heed to her mother's words, her destiny would've been something different. Neither would anyone have talked behind her backs, nor such rumors, nor she would've been left heartbroken.

But she did not. 

And now was bearing whatever was dawning upon her. 

She was bearing the fury of her choices, her delusion. 

Why didn't, why didn't fate stop her from getting married to Satyakaam that day? 

She clutched her pillow firmly, shivering slightly. 

"Listen to me carefully, Saudamini. Mark my words, neither you aren't worthy of love, nor can I love you." Satyakaam held her shoulders firmly, "How did you even think I would love you even?!"  His bloodshot eyes bore into her petrified figure. He was reeking alcohol, his hairs messed up, as he breathed heavily.

"Stop interfering in my life for God's sake!" He barked, clutching his hands on her shoulder.

"Sa-Satyakaam, you're hurting me..." Saudamini had tears in her eyes as she panted, feeling his nails digging into her flesh.

"NO YOU'RE HURTING ME!" He jerked her away, "YOU'RE HURTING ME!"

Saudamini gasped, clutching her shoulder, seeing the latter sit on the bed, bursting into fresh tears, "Sa-Satyakaam, I am sorry...."

"STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU VILE WOMAN! STAY AWAY!" 

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE DAMN UP!" He sat up, exasperating, "STOP FAKING YOUR CROCODILE TEARS! JUST STOP IT!"

"And hear me clearly, I ONLY LOVE BRINDA! I ONLY LOVE HER!" He held her arms again, drawing her close, as she spilled tears, "So put a stop on your dreams of getting loved by me! Did you understand?!"

"BECAUSE YOU DON'T DESERVE ANY LOVE! ANY LOVE!"

Saudamini let out an audible whimper, closing her eyes tightly, tears trickling down her eyes. 

Maybe he was right. She didn't deserve any love, she didn't deserve anything. She deserved to be alone and aloof, left by everyone to deal with her sorrow. Because she was herself responsible for it. She had chances, she had many chances to make the correct choices, it was not that there was no one to tell her what was right or wrong.

Still, she always took the wrong path.

Always. 

It was always her fault. Hers. Fresh tears rolled down her eyes, wetting her pillow as she clutched it firmly, her cheeks burned, her heart felt heavier than stone. 

They were right. Perhaps, Kadambari was right too. 

"Don't be amused if Anirban hops over to some other woman to find solace..."

She didn't knew why but her heart pricked dangerously at these words. It was true, she perhaps didn't have that much of feelings for him at that moment, there was a weird sense of attachment and detachment that she felt for him. Perhaps, she at one point, she saw him nothing more than fulfilling her carnal desires, and there was this string of sentiment that had born out of it. 

Yet, yet she couldn't imagine him with some other woman--

Maybe, he too felt the same about her....and one day, he might grow tired of her beauty...and walk out to someone to seek love-

After all, what was there in her to love?

That thought seemed to choke her throat; she inhaled a deep breath, trying to hold back her little sobs. 

He can also leave, like Satyakaam.

She felt herself so empty that moment, so pathetic and helpless. Mind haywire. Feeling desolate, as those painful memories rushed back to her. Suffocating her, she felt she couldn't even breathe for a while, as warm tears crept down her cheeks, as she dug her head further inside her pillow.

.

.

.

How was he supposed to calm her down?

Anirban silently walked passed the corridor, a streak of lightening and loud thunder startled him for a while. 

But he had to. It was enough now. 

What if she was still angry with him? Again she would lose her calm, and things would heat up further? 

Perhaps he should speak to her later on.... no! He had to speak to her today, keeping aside everything. He had to. He breathed in, walking towards his chamber, creaking open the door. It was almost midnight and the lights had been put down, except a dim yellow light that demarcated her silhouette.

Anirban furrowed his brows, stepping in as he closed the door without a sound.

Did, did she fall asleep?

No, no....he saw her hugging her pillow further and bury her face in it, her body heaving. 

She was sobbing.

Heck, heck no! NO!

"Mini...?"

For a moment he forgot everything that happened and rushed towards her, almost stumbling as he climbed upon the bed, "Mini!" 

He shouldn't have left her alone. He shouldn't have! 

She buried her head further, crinkling her forehead and firming her eyes close as tears rolled down, as an audible sob escaped her lips. Anirban lay beside her asap, breathing and wrapping his hand around her wrist, "Mini, Mini listen to me love...." He swiftly edged close, panting softly as his thumb smudged over her cheek, wiping her hot tears as she whimpered. He closed his eyes for a while, shaking his head as he cussed himself. 

To the heck with everything!

Her bosom heaved further as her sobs intensified, her fingers curling upon his kurta as she curled herself up. 

"Mi-Mini, please," His heart thudded faster in fret, feeling haywire, as he hastily brushed away the hairs sticking to her forehead, abruptly pressing his lips underneath her eyes, cheek and jaws, "Please stop crying, please," Without wasting further moments, he took her arm and wrapped it around his neck, pulling her close to him. 

Saudamini sucked in a deep breath, feeling him lean close to her. It felt like she would burst out crying more, as her shivering hands tried to grab onto him like a desolate entity trying to find even something minimal to hold onto. At that point she felt like her heart would shatter into countless pieces, and each shard would prick her harder than thorns, feeling clouded by the brim of vehemence. 

She felt if she would stop herself for one moment, she would lose herself....

Her nightmares, days of loneliness, her broken dreams, every memory had seemed to have been rushing to her like a ruthless wave in the sea, leaving her crushed under the burden of it. Her remorse, her faults, and the way she was left to deal with whatever she had sown, knowing well she deserved it for her own choices.

And when one knows they are crumbling under their own choices, their own follies, the arrow of reality would hit sharper than it should. 

She wanted to say, she wanted to say a lot that moment, feeling Anirban's desperate kisses on her cheek, his fingers vehemently brushing against her hairs, but his touches rendered only relentless sobs from her. It felt as if someone had undid the tied knot within her that had held her since so long, that she couldn't help but burst out. 

She held on to him despairingly, as if he would vanish somewhere.

And she couldn't afford it. She couldn't afford it at that moment. 

She couldn't afford to be left alone like that once again.....

★★★★★★★★★

A/N

Dil hai ki chaahta hai, dimaaghai ki maanta nahi.... 😌😌😌😌

Waise, what if the story would've been told from Satyakaam's eyes? Like Satyakaam and Brinda's? Would've applauded Satyakaam's steadfast devotion towards his lover even after marriage? 

And hated Mini for coming in between them?

Btw, Mini is kinda relatable. Like she rushes for things which aren't meant for her, ends up getting hurt, bursts out her frustration on someone else and repents after it...and she's said that you've to now deal what you've sowed 🥺🥺🥺🥺

And ends up becoming the villain in someone's story 🙂💔

Signing off for today!

Nushkie