Paul

It was normal that I got home before Percy. Sally was home when I got there. She started working again a few weeks ago. Small shifts. Four hours. And I was worried sick about Percy.

Because like I told Coach, Percy was quiet this year. But I didn't think about it much just because of what happened last year. He said he was fine. I didn't want to push it.

But when a kid came to me today, saying that he was worried. Telling me that Percy was crying at lunch. That screamed that there was a problem. Something Percy didn't want us to know. He didn't want to worry us. That's always his thing. Even before River was born. He never wanted us to worry.

"Welcome back," Sally told me as she gave me a small kiss that was normal when I would get home or when she got home. She gave me one of her lovely smiles and then noticed something was wrong and that faded. "What's wrong?"

I grabbed my cup of tea (I drink coffee in the morning, tea in the afternoon) and leaned up against the counter as Sally stood perpendicular to me, leaning her arm against the counter.

"I had a kid come up to me after lunch, a kid in one of my classes." I explained the situation at hand to my wife. "Who told me that him and a number of his friends had been worried about Percy. Said that when one of them went to point out Percy, to show someone who he was, he was zoned out. And out of nowhere, he started to cry. He was sitting alone, kids didn't do anything. He wasn't sobbing or anything. Nothing like that. But the kid said he was worried. He noticed that he's been quiet this year. More reserved. Less involved in class. I had Percy earlier in the day so I couldn't ask him about it. But I think that it's not what happened over the year that's bugging him, Sally. I think there's something he's not telling us."

Sally thought about that. I mean, he's upset. That's obvious. And it could be bullying. It could be camp related. It could be with us. It could be self inflicted. Or a combination of it.

I just don't want to wake up and he's killed himself. That's he's that far gone. Because I had a kid before this marriage. Before I met Sally or Percy. And that's how they died. I had twins that killed themselves three days apart. So when Percy came along, I wanted him to be open with me. And he was. Up until he came back from camp.

Now yes, Sally and I have joked the idea to him that Percy's gay. But he joked, too. So I hope it wasn't that.

And I say it because I've watched him check our guys. He had a crush on a guy last year. Name was Alex. It didn't last long, though. A few weeks. It was mild. They never talked or anything so Percy got over it.

That's why Annabeth confused me. I watched him like all of these guys. Never once would he look a girl like he did a guy. And suddenly he had a girlfriend.

"He..." Sally started off and stopped to think for a minute. "You're right, he has been quiet. He's been in his room a lot more than he normally would be, too. That kind of bothered me. I wonder if it had something to do with him and Annabeth. He really hasn't mentioned anyone lately..."

We agreed that we'd talk to him when he got home.

Well, an hour later while Sally was at the store, he showed up. And it... It just broke my heart.

Percy was obviously upset. He had bags under his eyes, which were red probably from crying. He was just flushed in general, and he didn't say a word when he walked through the door. Didn't look at me, either.

"Hey, Percy," I said before he could undo the baby gate. River would be up soon and I didn't want to talk while she was awake just in case she started to cry during it. "Are you okay?"

I wasn't doing the whole how was school. Do you have homework. How was practice. It's all the same. Fine.

He didn't respond, but he also didn't go into the hall. He just stood there. Looking at his hands that were on the baby gate. And he looked like he might just cry again.

"I'm..." The part that he failed was that Percy's voice shook. "I'm fine."

"Are you?"

He didn't answer that and that was my answer from him. He wasn't. But he didn't want to admit it.

It was silent.

"Somebody talked to me today after he had class." I explained why I was worried to the precious thing that was my step son. "He had told me that he was worried about you, Percy. Said his friends were worried to. Told me that you were crying at lunch. Claimed that you did so for twenty minutes or so. So are you okay? Because if you're not-"

He snapped at me. Which, I suppose it was better than silence. It was better than him running off to his room. It was better than anything that my kids did before walking into their rooms and cutting open their wrists or overdosing on meds they even need.

"Okay!" Percy yelled at me, which made me jump in my seat. "Fine! I'm not okay! Why are you so worried? I'm a teenager, Dad, it happens!"

I didn't even...

He called me dad.

"Because!" I reasoned with him. "I'll never forgive myself if another one of my kids kill themselves!"

"Paul, it's not anything that-" and then he caught onto my wording and I realized that I told Sally about the twins. Not Percy. "Another one? What happened?"

"I was married before your mom." I knew that he knew that. He's met my ex wife. She's not very nice. "We had twins. I don't know what happened. But like you. They just were quiet. They started to stay to themselves more often. I assumed that if something was wrong they'd tell me. My baby girl came home from school and she slit her wrists. Three days later her brother hung himself while we were planning the funeral. Finding out about you, Percy, was my miracle. I could have a kid again. And I trust that you're not that far gone. I hope you're not, at least. But I worry a little bit more than you mom does when it comes to the things like that. For somebody to come to me and tell me that you were crying during school... What's wrong?"

He was starting to cry.

Percy sat down across from me and finally opened up to me.

"I won't kill myself." That was the first thing he told me. "Okay, I'm not that bad. I'm not like that. I don't self harm. I did when I was little. When Gabe was around. But I stopped that... I was 11 or 12 and I never picked it back up. Never wanted to. But um..."

Percy paused for a minute, looking like he didn't know if he actually wanted to tell me what was going on.

"He just drilled some stuff into me." My step son tried to explain it. He wasn't crying but he was miserable. "Stuff that as much as I know it's bullshit, it's still there. It still bugs me. And one of those things is that, and this has nothing to do with your parents, I love your parents, is that being gay was bad. It's like the worst thing you could do to him. And..."

I then I realized that he was coming out to me. That's been his problem. Is that he knows being gay isn't bad. There's nothing wrong with it.

But he was raised being told that it was. And because of that, it scared him. It made him not want to come out.

"I know it's not bad and that there's nothing wrong with it." Percy promised me that he understood that. "I know plenty of gay and bi people at camp and they're amazing people and they're happy. Thalia and Nico are both gay. And I knew about Thalia almost right away. She was honest about that from the start. She doesn't care about what you think. And Nico... I found out when we got back to camp about him. That was a surprise. I was surprised that he told you guys like it was nothing because I guess he was freaking out over it two weeks previous to when he was here. And there is nothing wrong with it and I know that and I don't know why I just become petrified when it... I won't be able to tell you most of what I said later. I had to explain myself to my best friend who found out that I was gay on accident why I had a girlfriend after I broke up with her because I'm gay. Because like you said. I'm gay. I don't know why I just said you were right three summers ago, I knew. I just... Scares the shit out of me."