Nico

"Go away!" I screamed at the son of Poseidon. "I hate you! I wish you were dead!"

"Please come..." I whispered to myself, rocking back a forth in my cabin. Holding the only thing I had left to remember Percy for. That stupid statue. "I... I love you... I... I can't and you're... And it's... And... I..."

And I can't handle this. I can't handle you being gone. Forever. Without a dam thing that I can do about it.

He never knew. I never told him. That I'm gay. That I love him. That I don't hate him.

But it's too late now. He's gone. And I could've stopped it. I could've gotten water. I could've stopped the bleeding. I could've done something.

His words just got to me. Him begging me that this was his time. That he was okay with dying.

Selfish son of a bitch didn't even think about if we were okay with that. He just died. And I let him.

And now I hate myself for it. I haven't had any food. I barely can sleep. I can't feel anything but this grief that just consumes me whole. I wasn't sure if taking over Percy's room made that better or worse.

Annabeth was... Well, her room was next to the one I'm in now. Percys room. I could hear what she talked so loud, and she took this better than I did. She leaves her room. I don't. It's been almost a week. I know I'll have to leave eventually. Talk to someone. Eat food.

I just don't want to. I don't want to do anything because I'm a waste of space at this point.

"How's everyone holding up?" Grover asked the daughter of Athena. "I mean, I don't expect anyone to be that happy. Aside Nico, but... How'd he take the news?"

Fucking terribly.

"I don't know." Annabeth was honest enough. "I don't think he took it well, though. They let him have Percy's room. He walked in and hasn't walked out. It's been 6 days. There's no food in that room. Just an endless supply of water. Jason has been acting weird about Nico lately. Hazel is more worried about her brother than she is sad about Percy. But if he cries, he's quiet. I don't know why he would. He's the one that told Percy to never talk to him again. He got his wish."

I shook my head as tears streamed down my face. My heart was in my throat and I didn't now what was better. If I let out my pain or hold it in. Become exposed or continue—

Not even realizing what my body did, I screamed and broke through my skin with my nails. I've been scratching at my arms for the last week. It was just now starting to bleed.

"Who was that?" The satyr asked Annabeth, probably over an IM or something. I was derailing really fucking quick and if somebody didn't... I was going to... I'll just... Die. Suicide. Death. That. Seems suitable for what everyone thought of me.

"Um..." Annabeth sounded worried for the first time in her life. "I think... It came from Nico. So he's not dead. But he..."

"Well go make sure he's not about to be!"

Letting myself just stay where I was, between the bed and desk, I started to heave. Getting dizzy. Giving up.

I could not tell you what happened after that. Couldn't do it.

Leo

We were on the main deck. Annabeth had to call Grover, so she's in her room. Nico hasn't left his since we've gotten on board. But everyone else out here on the main deck. Talking. Trying to have fun again. Trying to get over Percy being gone.

But, when we're in the middle of talking and suddenly somebody screams?

It wasn't Grover. It wasn't Annabeth.

That kind of left us one option. The guy who we haven't seen for almost a week.

I pulled out a sledgehammer from my tool belt and we hurried to what used to be Percy's room. We couldn't hear anything. Annabeth ran out, though. And of course, the door was locked.

It's been too long for giving him his space. I took the hammer and broke the door off its hinges. It can be fixed. If something happened to Nico, we can't bring him back from the dead. That's kind of his department. Not ours.

Running into his room, we found him between the bed and desk. Sitting there. His arms were bleeding, but nothing to be overly worried about. He won't bleed out from it.

I myself was more worried about the fact that he was basically skin and bones. On top of that, he was dry heaving. Clutching onto something that I recognized after Frank showing it to me. A mythomagic statue.

Hazel tried to help him out, but he didn't want that. He wasn't afraid to tell her to fuck off. Or any of us.

So when Hazel didn't work, we thought maybe Jason would. And when that didn't, we tried Annabeth. He loves Annabeth. But that was... That ended worse.

"I'm just trying to help—"

He didn't want a word from Annabeth.

"I don't want help!" The son of Hades screamed at her. "Okay!? Just fuck off and let me be! It's not like you cared the last time this happened!"

Listening, Annabeth walked out, looking really worried.

"What?" Jason asked the daughter of Athena. "Did he say something we didn't hear?"

"No, you heard it all." She assured us, sounding freaked out. "But um... He's never been like this before. Okay? His sister died and he took it better than this. He's fucked up, and if one of us doesn't pry at him until he snaps, he could kill himself. He'll never listen to me."

We all looked at each other, waiting for someone to step up. Nico kind of scared me. I had no right to pry at him. I barely know him.

Jason sighed.

"I'll do it." He gave in to the pressure. "But what's said on this ship stays on this ship. Deal?"

"Deal."