*Mallory*

"The surgery was successful for the most part... But it barely nicked the surface," Dr. Stoneman said solemnly. "Skylar has a very rare form of cancer, very aggressive...."

I let out a shaky breath as Sharise whimpered, covering her mouth as she held back a sob.

"W-What do you suggest?" I asked, wrapping my arm around Sharise, Heather also holding her arm around her.

"For now, I guess up the chemo a little bit... But she's very young, so administering it will have to be taken very cautiously, but... We're running out of options," she said sadly. "The chemo will buy her some more time, but.... Not a lot... I'm sorry...."

I gulped, knowing what she meant as I held Sharise's hand.

"How much time does she have?" Heather asked nervously.

"A few months... Six months maybe," she said. "More or less..."

Sharise sobbed out as I held her and we helped her sit down.

"Thank you," I said to Dr. Stoneman.

She nodded sadly. "I really am sorry...."

"You did all you could," I assured her. "You have no idea how grateful I am for what you've done...."

She nodded quietly. "C-Call me if you need anything," I said.

I nodded as she stepped out and I took a deep breath, placing my hand over my now large baby bump.

Six months.... We made it so far, JellyBean.... Somehow......

Its been two months since Skylar was diagnosed with cancer. She had surgery for removing the tumor, but the cancer is too rare and aggressive.

Mötley Crüe had gone on a US tour for 2 months and came back just last week. Before that, however, Nikki was paranoid on leaving just like last time, so after some stubborn arguing, I had suggested he called Karen, who used to house sit his place back at Van Nuys long ago. We both trust Karen, and she happily agreed to fly over and keep me company while he was gone and help me out. She's been a big help and has honestly helped me feel calm.

Heather had also been over a few times to spend some time with me. Despite the divorce, she and I still remained close, and I'm honestly glad.

I had also officially gone on maternity leave, but still spend as much as I am allowed to at the hospital to see Skylar without concerning anyone.

I'm also still hiding my bump, since I still don't want anyone knowing just yet. I may be a little over six months now, 22 weeks to be exact, but anything can still happen.

I've gone regularly to see Dr. Langdon for ultrasounds and examinations, taking my prenatal vitamins, eating well and following a healthy lifestyle.

Once I reached 6 months, after some debate, Nikki and I decided to start preparing for the baby, but not do a lot of work in case of the worst case scenario. The most we've done is order a crib and changing table, but the crib was lost in delivery unfortunately, which isn't bad but just a pain to deal with. 

We still had some baby clothes in storage that were bought or gifted from when we were expecting Angel, which I washed and prepped. I also bought some bottles, diapers, and some soothers just in case.

We don't know the gender of the baby yet, and decided to keep it like that, so that at least we can feel excited about something and get rid of some worry.

We were planning to have the crib in our bedroom for now and then just start on the nursery after the baby is born, but since its lost then we might just get a bassinet until then or something.

"Breathe, honey," Heather said to Sharise, rubbing her back as we sat at either side of her.

"H-How could this have happened?" she cried. "S-She's just a baby. Why her?!"

I pursed my lips sadly, leaning against my friend's shoulder as me and Heather held on to her.

Soon she had calmed down after a nurse gave her some water.

We then walked back into the room. Vince's parents as well as Sharise's parents were there.

I took a deep breath, leaning against the window with my hand over my swollen tummy.

"Whoa, MJ, are you okay?" Vince asked, looking panicked as everyone turned, now looking even more worried.

I sighed quietly. "I'm okay, Vinnie... Just thinking......" I said as he walked over, putting a hand on my shoulder.

After I made it to my 5 month mark, everyone around me started to treat me like I was made of glass. Even Mick would actually freak out if I so much as sneezed.

Before he was on tour, Nikki would even start sometimes staying up late just to watch over me, make sure I'm even breathing right and I'm sleeping okay. He's gone as far as having the car keys placed on the nightstand table.

I can understand their concern, all things considered, but its sometimes so overwhelming and frustrating. 

Plus, I rather people worry more about Skylar. If I lose this baby, I'm still going to live. Her days are now numbered, and its not fair, it's just not fucking fair!!!

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as I tried to calm my mind. 

I need to get out of here.... Everything's starting to cave in.....

"I'll be right back...." I said. "I-I need some air."

"Do you want one of us to come with you, sweetheart?" Mrs. Neil asked.

"No, its alright, thank you. I'll be okay, really," I assured.

They all hesitated, but then nodded. "Okay," Vince nodded.

I walked out of the room, and asked a nurse for directions I needed.

Once I got them, I followed her instructions and soon found the room.

I gulped and took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping in.

I observed the vacant little chapel. Red seats lined in rows with a small alter in front with a statue of Jesus on the cross, everything looking like an actual church hall, but obviously way smaller.

Flowers and artificial candles (and a few real ones) decorated a common statue of the Virgin Mary, along with a wooden prayer box.

I remember after first finding out about my condition, every part of me loathed seeing any statue or painting of her. 

I remember every time I saw her at all just thinking: "A fucking virgin of all things gets to have a baby, with some invisible force in the sky on top of that, but I can't even carry one baby I conceived with a human male for even a whole fucking month? What kind of fucking bull crap is that!?!"

It was like she was mocking me.... Making me feel worthless and cursed....

I sighed and just turned forward, heading to seat up front as I looked up at the crucified statue of Jesus Christ.

I sighed, and got into the seat and carefully knelt down on the provided knee rest, and folded my hands together, fingers entwined as I rested my chin over them and took a deep breath.

"Hey.... I guess its been a while since you and I had a conversation...." I said. "I... I remember at one point I even almost came here after Nikki had almost.... Well... You know....."

I hesitated to continue that sentence and sighed.

"You sure did a hell of a number on the five of us...." I said. " I mean, Nikki was doomed since childbirth no thanks to Deanna and Frank Sr..... Mick is crippled for life.... Tommy is a hopeless romantic, the worst thing you can send into this kind of world...... Vince loses everything little by little..... Then there's me...... You really took your time with me..... Hope you had a really good reason....."

I sighed as I looked down. 

"Look, I...." I sighed. "I'm scared... I'm scared for my family.... Tired of living the same crap over and over and over again.... I just want peace... I want us all to by happy... We've all gone through so much...."

I then looked up at the statue of Jesus.

"And Skylar, she.... She's innocent.... She's only a baby...... She's probably the only really good we've ever had in our lives...." I said. "She shouldn't have to go through any bullshit like we do...."

I looked up, staring at the statue of the crucified man.

"Just like my own baby, I don't want Sharise's baby to die...." I said. "Please, just... Help her..... She deserves to grow up, have a long, happy life. Having friends, fall in love, dancing at her prom, graduating, going to college, getting married.......Please..... At least give her some more time if you can, but save her....."

I sniffled as tears started to fall down my cheeks.

"But if... If you can't.... Then.... Then please at least make it quick and painless," I whimpered. "Please... D-Don't judge her for our mistakes either.... She's innocent.... She's good..."

I think started to think as I wiped a tear away.

"And.... And Razz... I-If you can hear me...." I whimpered softly. "..... If she doesn't make it.... Please, keep her close... Stay with her...... Please, take care of her just like you've taken care of our son.... For me...."

I looked up at the cross and took a deep breath.

"Please......" I mumbled quietly.

After staying there, taking in the deafening silence of the small chapel, I sighed as I then carefully got up, holding JellyBean, then looking back at everything before walking out, wiping my tears away.

I stepped out and took a deep breath before walking back.

Heather looked up and stood up from her seat.

"Hey, where did you go?" she asked.

I sighed. "I.... Just needed a moment to talk to someone... Long story," I sighed. "I'm gonna spend some time with Skylar and then you and I can go."

"Yeah, sure," she nodded. "She's asleep now, Vince and Mrs. Ruddell are in there, Sharise is getting coffee with her sister and Vince's parents."

I nodded, then walked in and stood nearby Vince as I watch Skylar was asleep.

It broke my heart seeing her... Her golden locks were gone and covered in a white mesh cap, her rosy cheeks getting pale and translucent.... 

The room was full of flowers, stuffed animals, and some drawings Skylar made.

I sniffled and held back tears, getting Vince's attention.

"Are you okay? Do you feel pain or something?" he asked worriedly.

"No, I-I'm fine, Vin," I said, my hand over my baby bump. "It... It just still gets to me..."

He pursed his lips, his hand on my back. "You should go home, MJ," he said. "You gotta think of your baby here. You need rest, you look tired..."

"But it would be wrong to just leave...... I'm fine, honest," I assured.

"Honey, Vince is right," Mrs. Ruddell said softly. "You've done so much already for my granddaughter, now its time you think of your own child as well.."

I pursed my lips. "I-I don't know, it... It just doesn't feel right...." I said as I looked at Skylar, then I hear Sharise walk in.

"MJ..." Vince sighed with a slight frown.

"Everything okay?" Sharise asked, handing Vince a cup of coffee.

"Please, talk to her, she needs to rest or God knows what'll happen to her" Vince begged quietly.

"I am fine, really," I insisted.

"Sweetie, please," Sharise said, holding my hands. "You are practically already six months pregnant.... You've made it so far compared to the last two times.... Don't throw these six months away on our account..... Think about your chance to finally have what you couldn't for so many years...."

I frowned and looked at her and then Vince and everyone else.

"Go home to Nikki, get some sleep, eat something, recharge yourself," She said. "You can always come back once you've rested enough, and we'll call you if anything comes up."

I hesitated a bit, but then looked down at my baby bump, placing my hand over it.

She's right... We've made it this far.... I can't afford to be careless....

"You're right...." I said, then looked up. "You promise me you'll call?"

"Absolutely. I also have Dr. Stoneman on speed dial," she said.

I sighed and nodded. "Okay..."

Sharise and I pulled each other into a hug, her being careful with my bump before we pulled back and I faced Vince, and we shared a hug, too.

"See you soon," he said as we pulled back.

I nodded, then shared a hug with Mrs. Ruddell before I got my coat and I followed Heather out of the room.

*Vince*

I watched as MJ and Heather left the room and sighed.

I really do hope MJ pulls through with her pregnancy.... This is the farthest she has made it.... This is her third time and if she loses this baby.....

I was pulled out of my thought when I suddenly heard Skylar started to shift in her sleep, whimpering a little in pain.

I quickly went and stayed near her as she gasped and woke up.

"Shhh, its okay. Hey, it's okay," I said softly, stroking her head softly. "Daddy's right here, baby..."

"Daddy, don't let them cut me again," Skylar whimpered fearfully at me.

I pursed my lips and tried holding back tears as Sharise sat near us.

"I'm not gonna let them cut you, okay?" I told her, then took a deep breath. "We're gonna go home real soon.... Real soon..."

Skylar nodded at me before looking up at the ceiling, looking terrified as hell

I sniffled as I tried to smile for her, Sharise placing her hand over mine as she tried to hold it together, too.

I held it back as I looked nervously at her.

*Nikki*

I bit the end of my pencil as I looked down at the lyrics on the page.

it's only life
she's so afraid of this
and so afraid to ask
she hides behind her mask
nothing's ever right

I sighed, tossing the pencil aside and rubbing my eyes.

I wonder how things are going.... Maybe I should just suck it up and see them.... Skylar is a good kid, a sweet girl who's probably the only actual innocent thing about our fucked up little family...

Besides, its not her fault her dad and I had a falling out. That's why I had no problem in helping out when Mal told me she offered to help cover the medical expenses for Skylar.

On top of that, she's Mal's goddaughter, so she means so much to her, especially after losing two children.

Hell, I'm pretty sure her and Angel would have been thick as thieves....

I know she forgave Vince for the past. I wasn't huge on the idea, and it secretly pissed me off in all honestly. Yet.... ever since she did, she seems more at peace, which is honestly great.

I guess females are right to complain about male ego & pride.... Its actually really fucking annoying....

..... Or maybe I'm just being a stubborn jackass like always.....

I groaned as I threw my head back in frustration.

I need to make things right.... Everything...... But how?

I then hear Jack bark downstairs and got up, closing my notebook.

I walked out and see Mal at the front door, waving outside before closing the door.

I smiled as she looked over, giving me a small, tired smile.

"Hey," I said as I walked over and we pulled each other into our arms, her lips against mine.

"Hey... How was your day?" she asked.

"Mostly just wrote some songs and rehearsed a bit," I said. "How is she?"

Mal's smile fell as she looked down, wrapping her arms around herself. "The cancer is too aggressive.... Chemo can slow it down just a little, but not by much...."

My eyes widen in shock. "H-How much time...?"

She she took a deep breath, her eyes getting watery. "More or less six months...."

I took a deep, shaky breath as I pulled Mal into a hug. "Fuck..."

"Its not fair.... She's so little...." she murmured in a shaky voice. "She's the only good we have..."

I sighed, rubbing her back. "It's gonna be okay," she murmured.

 She sniffled and hugged me close.

"Come on, let's get you to rest," I said. "You look tired... How are you two feeling?" I asked.

She took a deep breath, looking down at her baby bump and softly running her hand over it. "We're okay.... Six months.... We've made it pretty far..."

I smiled softly and placed my hand over her bump. "Is the baby moving?"

"Yeah... A little bit right now, but on the ride over here with Heather, there was some soft kicks," she said.

I nodded. "You know, I may still be a bit nervous, but I am also excited..."

She smiled softly. "I am, too...."

I smiled back at her as she then took my hand.

"Come on... We could both use some sleep," she said. "You look like hell."

I chuckled, putting my arm around her as we headed for the stairs, when suddenly the phone rang.

I sighed as Mal patted my shoulder. "I got it."

She walked over and picked up the phone.

"Sixx Residence.... Yes, this is she......" Mal spoke, her brows furrowed.

I walked over curiously when suddenly, Mal went stiff and she looked shock.

"O-Oh...." She said. "A-Are you sure?"

I looked at her curiously as she spoke, and then took a deep breath.

"That's not really up to me anymore, you'll have to decide it with her brother, Ronald.... Oh.... I see...... No one else......" Mal said, softly scratching her temple as she looked up at me.

"Can I, umm.... Can I call back later?" she asked, grabbing a nearby pen and paper, then jotting down a number I'm assuming was being recited by whoever was calling. ".... Okay.... Thank you for calling.... You, too...."

She hung up, a shocked yet slightly blank look on her face as she processed whatever she was just told.

"Mal?" I asked, curiously. "Everything okay? Who was that?"

"Uhh.... T-That was the Bennett family lawyer..." she said.

I frowned, confused, as she continued.

"M-My mother's dead...." she said.

My eyes widen. "What?"

"Stroke... Her second one apparently, I had no idea of the first one..... She died in her sleep last night," Mal sighed. "Apparently nobody wants to pay for the funeral, not even my uncle, her brother...."

My eyes widen a little as I processed it, too. "Shit...."

"I told them I'll call back later to discuss things further," she sighed. "Right now, I... I just rather get some rest."

He furrowed my brows, then nodded.

"Are you okay, though?" I asked her, placing my hands on her shoulders. "And tell me the truth, babe..."

She looked up at me and took a deep breath, rubbing the back of her neck. "Yeah, just.... Just a bit shocked, I guess.... All the things I thought my mother would die of, I didn't think it would have been a brain stem stroke..."

I nodded. "That's a bad one, right?"

"Well, yeah, all strokes are pretty bad, but yeah, this one... This one's kind of worse ," she said. "She was pretty much left almost a vegetable before she died...."

"Shit...." I said, nodding in understanding.

I noticed Mal still seemed to be deep in thought about everything.

I walked over, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her temple.

"Let's get some sleep," I suggested. "We can discuss it later after some rest."

She nodded with a sigh. "Good idea...." she said, and we headed upstairs.

~~~~~

I honestly don't understand why people are suddenly treating James Charles nicely now and apologizing to him and stuff. He isn't exactly innocent either. He's said his own fair share in fucked up shit, too. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

But hey, that's my opinion on the whole fiasco. This is honestly why i stay away from the whole beauty community thing. I only really follow a VERY small handful of makeup artists (ex.: Bretman Rock, PinkStylist, PatrickStarr, etc.).

I can agree, though, the environment of this beauty and make up community is super fucking toxic as hell. 😷😷

🎹 Currently in Sapph's playlist:

Anna Sherman
"Fall Into the Sky"

https://youtu.be/Gv-R-w3W9G8

♡~ sapphire.