⚠ Warning: Chapter contains mentions of depression, abortion, loss, heartbreak, and [very slight] marital dispute. If affected, please read with caution.⚠️

~~~~~

*Mallory*

Some days passed since we found out.

I sat down at the dining table, looking down at the test results, the words I was both dreading and over the moon for.

POSITIVE

I'm pregnant again... This is real..... Its really happening....

What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel about this?

This is my third time, am I supposed to be happy? Scared?

What if I'm feeling both?

What if it happens like it did the last time?

Can I really survive a third loss?

Should I just go for my other options and avoid anymore pain and loss?

I sighed and folded up the papers and pushed them away, burying my face into my hands as I tried to calm down.

Nikki then walked out from the kitchen, a calm look on his face as he set down a mug of hot chocolate in front of me.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, sitting down next to me.

"I.... I don't know...." I sighed. "Scared.... Conflicted.... Babe, I don't know what to think...."

He sighed and nodded, his hand over mine.

"Well, whatever you decide to do, I'm gonna support you," He said.

I pursed my lips, and then placed my other hand over his, deciding to ask.

"What do you think I should do?" I asked.

He seemed a bit surprised by my question. "Mal... This is your body we're talking about, when it comes to that it has to be your choice, not mine. I don't determine that kind of stuff."

"I know, but.... I still want your opinion. You still helped make this baby, after all," I said. "So just..... Be honest.... What do you think I could do?"

He pursed his lips, figuring out the words.

"Mal, you fell apart when we lost Angel.... We both did.... We really thought she was gonna make it, and......" he sighed, trying to keep it together.

I looked down as a single tear fell.

"I do want kids, Mal, but... But not if it means exposing us, exposing you, to all of this fear...... To suffering..... Its not fair to you," he said. "It.... Its not worth it...."

I sniffle quietly. "So.... Should I get an abortion? And.... and maybe a hysterectomy?" I asked.

He sighed and looked down. "I... I don't know... Maybe its the best option, I mean.... We can always adopt kids, baby, it seems safer..." he said.

I sighed. "I guess.... I-I need to think about it...."

He nodded and leaned over, kissing my cheek.

"Like I said, its not my choice, its yours.... I'll support you on whatever you decide," he said.

I smiled softly and leaned in, pulling him into a hug.

"What did I ever do to deserve someone like you in my life?" I asked.

He pulled me into his arms and hugged me back.

I hugged him tightly before pulling back and kissing his lips softly.

"I think I'm gonna talk to Mick after work...." I said. "Maybe it can help me a bit..."

He nodded in understanding. "Okay," he said. "Call me if anything comes up."

I nodded as I gave him another kiss and got my things.

"I love you," I said as he had gotten up and pecked his lips.

He kissed me back. "I love you, too, baby..."

I smiled before starting to head out, grabbing my car keys on the way, and soon I was on my way to work.

***

"Alright, so far no damage to the nasal cavity or anything to raise any alarms," I said, examining the two year old toddler's nostrils with the otoscope. "Looks like she's going to be just fine. In any case, I'm going to prescribe an antibiotic for her to prevent any possible infection."

"Thank you again, Nurse Sixx," The young mother said with relief as I wrote up and signed for the prescription. "When I saw heard screaming and noticed the spilled bottle of buttons, one already sticking out of her nose, I was so scared. I can't believe how careless I was."

"Its no problem, Mrs. Lewis, its no one's fault. Babies can be very curious, we just gotta be careful, that's all," I said, handing her the paper and then smiling at the child. "Little Hannah here just seems very curious, though, isn't she?"

I tickled her side, making her squeal and giggle happily as she tried to squirm from the tickles, making me laugh along.

"Hehe, you're so good with children," she smiled. "Do you have children of your own?"

My smile fell a little bit.

How do I answer that one?

I quickly thought of something and took a deep breath. "Uhh... N-No.... My husband and I have tried.... We weren't so lucky...." I said, which wasn't a complete lie.

"O-Oh.... I'm so sorry, I didn't know," she frowned.

I took a deep breath and forced a smile. "No, its alright, really..... Maybe one day we might have a chance," I smiled.

Will we.....?

I then reached over to the tray. "Oh, uhh... I don't know if you want your button back, by the way."

She smiled softly with a soft chuckle and took the little baggie holding the button that had been fished out of little Hannah's nose.

"I have more at home, but I'm sure this will definitely be something to remember this day by," she laughed.

I smiled as she put it in her bag, holding her child as she got up.

"Thank you again, Nurse Sixx," she said. "Say bye Hannah."

"Baiiiii!" Hannah babbled with a smile at me.

I giggled as I then reached over to the candy jar we have nearby for our child patients, and take a cherry lollipop out and hand it to Hannah.

I smiled as I watched them leave, then felt my heart break a little bit, then looked down at my wings tattoo on ny arm.

Angel would have been around that age right now.....

I sighed and decided to finish up paper work at reception before my break.

I want to get my mind of this for the meantime, just until I see Mick.

I sat down, getting a file, before looking down at my abdomen, gently placing my hand over it.

This really could be one last chance for all we know... We don't know if this baby will make it.... Should I really just give it up?

I'm pulled away from my thoughts when I noticed someone walk in and smiled.

"Good morning, ma'am," Sam, the delivery man greeted.

"Hey Sam, good morning," I greeted, putting the file I had in ny hand aside. "How's traffic?"

"In Los Angeles? You know how it is," he scoffed with an eyeroll.

"Ugh, I hear you. It was hell on my way over here, and I didn't even take the freeway just to avoid traffic there," I said.

"Its crazy," he said, shaking his head as he handed me the clipboard to sign.

"What gifts do you have for me today, my friend?" I asked, looking through the manifest I had to sign as I got a pen

"Probably some medicine since this one is marked Fragile, but I think this one is new office supplies.... Oh, and I think these are new magazines for your waiting rooms."

I curiously took the box from him and read the labels.

"Enquirer? Since when did we start getting mags for them?" I scoffed with the small laugh as I got the envelopes and started to open them.

"Since people started getting more and more into celebrity lives I guess," he chuckled as I got a nearby box cutter and open it.

"Yeah, like they even know half of what they type about anyway," I scoffed as I opened the box. "Lately more people are getting into Entertainment Weekly or something, anyway."

I then froze as I saw the cover of the Enquirer magazine and felt my heart almost stop.

"Oh no...." I said, staring at the magazine in my hands.

It.... It can't be true....

***

*Tommy*

I had finished practicing some drums and decided to record some more mixes.

I tuned along to the beat and smiled as I spun the turntable a bit.

"This definitely works..." I thought.

All of a sudden, something slammed against the turntable, making me jump as I looked up and saw Heather standing in front of me. She had tears streaming down her face but looked at me with a really angry look.

"Baby, what the fuck?" I asked her as I pulled down my headphones and then looked at the magazine.

"I want you OUT!!" She shouted.

I froze as I read the headline on the Enquirer magazine and looked up at her.

CAUGHT!
Tommy Lee Steps Out
On Heather with Porn Star!

INSIDE -
The Pictures That Will
Tear Them Apart!

Oh fuck...

"Have a great life with your porno slut, you asshole!!" Heather sneered and turned away.

"Baby, I--" I tried.

"Don't," she scoffed as she stormed out of the music room.

"Baby!!" I called as she left, then looked at the magazine.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!!

Tommy, you fucking idiot! Fuck!!" I seethed under my breath as I paced around, slamming the magazine down and before I knew it.

"AAAAAAHHHH!!!!" I screamed as my fist suddenly met the window of the music room and shattered at my feet.

The pain then shot up my arm as I held my bloody fist.

"FUUUUUUUCK!!!!" I screamed in pain as I held my hand and then leaned against the table, tears beginning to stream down my face.

This cannot get any worse.....

***

*Mick*

"You saw the tabloids I'm guessing?" Mallory asked as she sat at the dining table with me, me sipping some coffee while she sipped some juice.

I sighed. "Hard to miss. I called Doug, he'll take care of the kid," I said, shaking my head.

Mallory nodded. "Poor Heather... I called her from work earlier, I'm gonna stop by and check on her..."

I nodded. "Poor thing.... She was always too good for that dumbass.... She doesn't deserve this...." I said.

Mallory sighed and then decided to chanhe the subject and ask her.

"Hey... If it's okay to ask..... Have you decided?" He asked. "What are you gonna do?"

She was quiet as she stared at her glass, her fingers entwined as she was in deep thought.

"Well... Nikki and I talked this morning....." she said. "The option we've always had a pin on was a hysterectomy..... which can I guess now comes after an abortion..."

I frowned softly, nodding my head. "Is that what you really want?"

She sighed. "Truth?" he said, hesitating a little before speaking. "..... I don't know.... I really want kids, Mick.... Nikki wants kids, too..... But to be going through this pain over and over again..... Is it really worth it?"

I was quiet.

"For all I know, I could miscarry this baby, too.... Maybe today, tomorrow, who even knows, and..... Lord knows what that could do to me...." she said. "What it could even do to Nikki... I can't do that to him again, or ever, its... Its not fair, he doesn't deserve that..."

"You're at a crossroads then..." I said.

She sighed. "I guess that's just how I'm gonna be always...."

I took a deep breath as I thought about it. "You want my advice?"

"What do you got?" she asked, looking over and nodding a little bit.

"Giving up so easily.... Its something you try to do when you're afraid...." I said. "Yeah, you have every right here to be afraid, anyone in your situation right now would be fucking terrified...... But are you willing to give this up because you're scared?"

She frowned as she looked down.

"You once thought leaving to New York because you were giving up on Nikki and your life here in California was the best option, but then backed out," I said. "Now, you are the chief nurse of one of the country's best hospitals, a respected singer even if you want to stay back-up, and even one of the top sponsors for Planned Parenthood as well, and add to that the fact that you and Nikki are together again, and neither of you have touched a single syringe or blow in ages. There were some incidents, yeah, but you're still here......"

She pursed her lips and looked down.

"Would leaving to New York have given you all of that?" I asked. "Or hell, would leaving to London back then with Razzle have given you that as well?"

She sniffled quietly. "You were mad at me for backing out of New York....."

"I'm an old man, I get mad at everything," I grumbled, and she couldn't help but laugh and softly shake her head.

"My point it, when you were giving up, it was getting you no where," I said. "Are you willing to take the risk and give up on what could actually be one last chance? This is still a tight 50/50 chance, where there's a chance Sixx Jr. won't see the light of day... But.... There's also the chance it'll be bullheaded like his/her parents, father mostly, and survive 9 months to meet them..."

She chuckled softly as she thought about it.

"You do whatever you feel you need to do for you," he said. "But do it because you think it's the right thing to do for you and your sake, not because things are getting hard and you're scared of whatever outcome you get. If you feel giving up this pregnancy and any future ones is what you need to do, then do it because you think its what's best for you, but not because you are scared... Because then you're just going to end up living with more regrets than peace..."

She sighed and nodded. "That is really good advice.... How are you so good at that?" She smiled softly.

I shrugged. "Years, I guess," I said.

She took a deep breath. "... I'm going to think about it," she said.

I nodded. "Its a good idea.... You should also talk with Nikki about it, too..... But just be sure of whatever you decide to do, kid....." I said.

She nodded, then looked over. "How are you feeling?"

I sighed. "The meds help only a little with the pain... But I'm not getting any better... They just make me feel worse...." I sighed. "And my hip's starting to fail on me....."

She frowned, putting her hand over mine.

"Do you want me to make some calls? One of perks of being a chief nurse is having connections to good doctors all over the country, Mick, I can call a good orthopedic doctor or surgeon," I said. "Maybe there's something, anything out there that can help you..."

"Mal," I sighed as she held my hands. "You know I don't want to take advantage of you like that."

"You aren't doing that at all. I hate seeing you in pain," I said. "One of the reasons I ever wanted to be in the medical field was to help people who are in pain and heal them as much as I can, so what the hell kind of medical professional would I be if I'm letting my own father suffer without at least trying?"

I sighed, looking over at her.

"You just had to hit the father spot, didn't you?" I smirked with an eyeroll, and she laughed softly.

"I'll make some calls," She said. "See what I can do."

I nodded, smiling at her. "Thank you..." I said. "It actually means a lot.... You know, I still question how the hell someone like you can put up with a world like this and still have your head held high."

She gave me a crooked smile and shrugged. "I guess I was just born to be able to handle the wild side of everything... Pun not intended..."

I chuckled as I nodded in understanding.

She then noticed the time over the stove and sighed.

"I should start heading out," she said, getting up. "I have to check on Heather, and.... Nikki and I have a lot to discuss.... Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine," I assured her. "I'll call you if anything, and I'll also see how they deal with the kid"

She nodded, then walked over and pulled me into a hug.

I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back. "Everything's going to be okay, Mallory. Just keep your head up like you always do."

She took a deep breath as we then pulled back. She nodded and smiled as she patted my shoulder before walking out.

I sighed and looked down at my coffee.

Just another day in the Crüe family I guess........

*Nikki*

There was definitely going to be a new one ripped on Tommy for that tabloid shit.

Poor Heather must really be going through it right now. I remember feeling annoyed with her in the beginning, but after getting clean, she started to grow on me. Plus, she's Mal's best girl friend.

It was night time when Mal made it home. I was writing up some songs when she arrived.

"Hey," I greeted, walking up to her as she walked into the house. "How is she?"

"Well.... How else is she supposed to be?" She sighed sadly. "She's really hurt and humiliated..... You know, I'm oughta give Tommy a piece of my mind about this!! How could he do this to her!?!"

"Baby," I said, walking over and placing my hands on her shoulders. "Calm down. I'm sure Doug's doing it in your honor as we speak anyway. Let's not stress over this."

She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, and nodding. "You're right.... All we can do is hope things don't get uglier than they already are...."

"True," I said. "Hey, uhh, did you talk to Mick?"

She was quiet, then nodded before taking my hand and leading me to the living room.

"Mal?" I asked as we sat down on the couch. Jack followed in, staring at us curiously.

She took a deep breath, and then just spoke.

"I've decided to not get an abortion.... Or a hysterectomy," She said. "I want to continue the pregnancy... No matter what the outcome is....."

I looked at her with my eyes a little wide. "Really? A-Are you sure?"

"I know you're scared.... And I know you're tired..... I am, too....." She said. "And you're right, I can just do the procedures and we can adopt a child from foster care or something, just move on and look forward.... I'm all for it..... But while that's just looking like we're making things easier, its also just.... Just a way of sugar coating the reality of things.... That we're giving up....."

I looked at her.

"Giving up, or even trying to, you know it never ended well for either of us..." she said.

I frowned, looking down.

"I don't want to give up so easily.... I know its a risk, and it could be painful, not just for me but for you as well, but.... I don't want to live to regret what could have been one last chance that can actually be it...." She said. "The one last chance for us to be a family....."

I pursed my lips in deep thought.

"Look, babe, I get it.... But what is gonna happen if... If I wake up one night and you're bleeding, just like last time when we lost Angel?" I asked, then showed her the angel tattoo. "What are we supposed to do if you end up being rushed into an emergency room at 1 in the morning and end up having to take pills just to deliver a dead baby hours later?"

She closed her eyes as if holding back tears. "I know what the bad side of this is.... T-That is why I.... I am also giving you an option....."

I frowned as she took a deep breath.

"You are a good man, Nikki.... Despite your mistakes, you are more worthy of a better life than you realize...." She said. "You are the greatest thing to ever walk into my life, but me being in it has not been so great for you."

"Mal.... W-What are you saying?" I asked nervously.

She sniffled as a single tear came down her cheek and she reached over and held my hands.

"I-If I lose this baby.... You..... Y-You have every right to walk out that door and never look back...." she whimpered.

My eyes widen in shock. "Mal, no...."

"I can't keep putting you through this, Nikki.... You deserve so much better a-and I can't keep putting through this for the rest of your life, especially this way," She argued. "I love you so much, but this won't be worth it if you're going down with me."

"Isn't that the point of a marriage, Mal!?" I snapped, standing up. "For better or for worse, those were our exact fucking words!!"

"Yes, but how long does the suffering have to go on?!" she snapped. "Its not worth it if one person is letting the other one suffer because of something that can be controlled!!You have the world depending on you, Nikki, the band, your fans, the music, everything!!"

"And you think the world doesn't depend on you, either?! That I don't?!" I shot back. "Or Mick, Tommy, the girls?! Hell, even Vince depended on you, probably still does, I don't know, but Sharise and Skylar still do!! Mal, we'd all be nothing without you!!"

"But I still caused pain and I can't keep doing that to people I care about to you! Its not fair to them and its not fair to you!!" she argued, getting up and standing in front of me. "I can't keep dragging you down with me, I love you too much for that. That's why if this ends up being a strike three you have every right to move on without-"

"STOP!!!!" I shouted, and quickly pulled her into my arms, hugging her tightly against me.

She went still and was surprised when I did that.

I then pulled back and held her shoulders tightly, but not tight enough to hurt her or anything.

"You and I went through a fucking bloody war path just to be where we are right now," I said. "I walk out that door on you, I'll be no different from that son of a bitch who walked out on me when I was barely even 3 years old, and that's the last thing I ever want to be for my family!"

She looked at me with wide eyes.

"If you think for a split second that I am abandoning you.... That I am just gonna walk away because of you not being able to have kids, Mal...." I said sternly. "Then you must be out out of your fucking mind....!"

She sniffled as she looked up at me. "Nikki...." she mumbled softly.

"My place is here... With you...." I said harshly to her. "Its been you and me ever since that night we walked out of that diner together, and its gonna be you and me to the end of the line, no matter what?"

Her tears quietly filled with tears as she listened.

"I love you, Mallory Jane Sixx.... and I am not leaving," he said. "I'm gonna be here..... Always...... I promise...."

She sniffled as I pulled her into my arms and she broke down, clinging to me.

"I'm scared...." She mumbled.

"Its gonna be okay...." I said. "You have every right to be.... If you want to go along with this pregnancy, no matter what the odds are, then I'll be there with you through it all, too....."

She looked up at me with a small, tear-filled smile.

"And whether this baby survives or not, I am still gonna be there, holding your hand and planted at your side," I said.

She sniffled as we then leaned in and kissed each other, her arms around my neck as I wrapped mine around her waist.

We then pulled back, our foreheads pressed together.

"I'm sorry... I just want what's best for you...." she said.

"I know.... But the way I see it, you're what's best for me," I said. "And I want what's best fot you, too, and being alone during this, Mal.... That's not good for anyone, let alone you....."

She took a deep breath, leaning up and pecking my lips before hugging me.

I hugged her tightly against me.

"So.... How do you want to do this?" I asked as we pulled back and I put her down.

"Well," she sighed, thinking. "I guess the same as last time, no announcement yet.... But..... We give it more time.... At least six months maybe, if we make it that far?"

I nodded. "Okay... We can talk to the others, and I'll talk to Doug, and we can keep ourselves from the press."

She nodded. "Sounds good...." She said. "I want this only between ourselves. We don't tell our friends or even family yet...."

I nodded. "We'll give the word on your command, and yours only, babe."

She nodded as we pulled each other into a hug, her head rested on my chest.

I kissed the top of her head before resting my head on top of her's.

"We're gonna be okay," I said to her.

She took a deep breath and nodded, burying herself into my arms as I softly stroked her hair.

I really hope I'm right....

~~~~~

Kind of sucks that I can't find any gifs of the Tommy & Heather break up scene from the movie. I guess if I ever find one, I'll just add it later on. 🤷🏻‍♀️

🎶Currently in Sapph's playlist:

Starbenders "Holy Mother"

♡~ sapphire.