⚠️ Warning: Slight mentions of drug abuse, near death experience, and attempted suicide⚠️

~~~~~

*Nikki*

I groaned as I felt a bright light shine on me and slowly opened my eyes. The air smelled sterile and like rubbing alcohol.

My head... My throat, its so dry... Where... Where am I...?

I opened my eyes a little more and my vision starts to clear up.

I then see I'm in a hospital room, where I'm connected to some IV's and a heart monitor.

I frowned and looked nearby, seeing Tommy knocked out and snoring like a bear by the bed in a chair with an empty pudding cup in his hand, pudding smeared across his face as the spoon dangled from his mouth.

Vince was asleep on the armchair nearby, along with Sharise and Heather, and then I noticed I felt something warm next to me.

I look down and see....

"Mallory..." I mumbled in surprise.

She was curled up next to me, head on my shoulder, sleeping soundly. She had tear stains under her eyes and looked so tired.

That's when everything started to come back to me and I gulped.

I died.... I was actually dead... I've hit rock bottom....

I gulped as I continued to look down at Mal.

I almost left her alone.... I almost made her worst fears come true...

I held back my tears as I wrapped my arms around Mal, being careful with the IV's, when Mal started to wake up, her brown eyes looking up at me.

"N-Nikki...?" she murmured, looking up tiredly at me as she slowly sat up.

I gulped as she placed her hands on my cheeks and I closed them as I took in her touch... Her warmth....

A soft whimper escaped from her mouth as her eyes filled with tears, but she held herself together.

"Mal.... Oh Mal, I'm so sorry, I--"

She slowly placed her fingertips over my mouth, silencing me.

"Don't... Just... Just let us stay here like this, in silence," she whispered, gripping my hands in hers. "P-Please...."

I gulped and slowly nodded as she then laid back down, pulling me closer to her.

I wrapped my arms around her, my hand on her head as we held each other, a tear falling down my cheek as I felt her softly crying to herself.

I could feel her heart beating against me as she clung to me, and felt myself relax.

Nothing was said as we laid there.

Not even when Mick came back with a coffee and gave me some of his own "kind" words at high volume.

Not even when Tommy woke up and begged for answers in tears.

Not even when Vince woke up and nearly cried, saying how scared he was.

Not even when the girls were just as scared and angry with me.

It seemed like a blur before finally we were alone, since Mallory convinced them to leave us and go to their families for Christmas.

Meanwhile, an entire family was in this room, hurting.... In silence....

I guess that Silent Night song made sense now, aside from the calm and bright part. Right now, nothing was.

I laid in bed with Mallory, staring at the clock as it read 11:59 p.m.

I looked down, seeing she had her eyes closed, asleep again.

She looked like she hadn't slept in ages. She was really pale, with dark circles outlining her eyes, and she looked thinner, too.... Too thin....

This is all my fault...

I felt a tear fall as I knelt down and softly kissed her cheek.

How could I have done this to her? She never did anything wrong to me, and all I did was broke her heart and treated her like shit, made her cry, hurt her.

She deserves better than that...

....Better than me...

I then heard the clock tick and look to see it was now 12:00 a.m.

I sighed as I looked out the window into the night sky.

"Merry Christmas..." I heard a voice mumble and looked, seeing her brown eyes look up at me, bloodshot from crying.

I sniffled and just pull her closer into my arms.

"Merry Christmas," I murmured.

It was quiet as we laid there, and then she shook with a sob.

"I'm sorry..." She sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry..... I broke my promise... I swore to stay with you, to never leave you.... And now... Look where you are..."

"Mal, no..." I mumbled.

"Nikki, I-I thought I lost you," she sobbed as I pulled her into my arms and she held on to me tightly, like if she didn't I would just disappear. "I-I thought you actually died when I got that call, I was so scared."

I sniffled as I held her, taking everything in as I held her, remembering everything.

"I'm so sorry.... I hurt you so bad, Mal," I said, tears streaming down my face. "Baby, I hurt you so fucking bad.... I'm so sorry..."

She then shook her head. "No no no, t-that wasn't you," she said as she pulled back, holding my face in her hands. "That wasn't you, okay? That was the gear, baby... That wasn't you..."

I let out a shaky breath as she wiped my tears away.

"I did this to you... I should have told you the truth, I should have been brave," she cried. "I should have told you about what happened to me before Los Angeles, faced you after everything."

"You had your reasons," I said to her. "That bastard hurt you, I don't blame you for being scared, Mal.... My actions are not your fault..."

She cried as she looked at me.

"I thought I lost you forever..." She cried as we pulled each other into another hug and I held onto her as tightly as I could, burying my face in her hair.

*Mallory*

His strong arms wrapped around me as I clung to him.

At that moment, I didn't care about the bad parts between us.

The man I fell in love him was back. He was alive, here.

I clung to him as we laid down on the bed.

"I promise," I murmured to him. "I'm not leaving... I'm right here...."

His arms tightened around me as he continued to hold me, and we soon drifted to sleep in each other's arms, his heartbeat calming me down like it always seems to do.

As we fell asleep, questions clouded my mind.

Can something broken be fixed?

Can we go back to how things were before?

Is it all too late?

~~~~~

Hope everyone is enjoying the story so far! 🤘🏻🖤🌻

🎧 Currently in Sapph's playlist:

Nick Jonas "Find You"

♡~ sapphire.