*Mallory*

Tuscon, Arizona.

Population.... About over 600,000 people, give or take.

The capital of the state, plenty of deserts, ghost towns, reservations and rattlesnakes.

The city where once upon a time, in the hot summer night of July 28th, 1960, a little Leo named Mallory Jane Bennett was born to later faces years of a crappy childhood.

Yeah, she had the best education money could buy, nannies and tutors at her beck and call, whatever toys she can ask for, a big house, and luxurious nutritional food.

All things many people wish they had, all things she should be grateful she had, to which she was.... But there was one thing she wanted more than anything that she never got.

The warm embrace of a mother's hug. The safety of a father's protective nature. A story and a kiss good night. A comforting kiss on the knee when you fall off your bike the first time. A family crayon drawing pinned proudly on the refrigerator. A mother wiping your tears away when you're scared. A father being the first to rescue you when you're in harm's way.

The love of a mother and father.... The love of a family..

Leaving this town was the only way she could ever find such a thing, and for a moment... She had it.... 

Now... She feels she's lost it, and may never really find it....

I sighed as I looked out the balcony of my room, lit cigarette between my lips as I looked up at the stars.

I never really thought I would be back here. Yeah, Mötley has had tours here, but we barely even spent time when we visit, per my request. We pretty much arrive and leave that same day when we visit here.

Longest was 2 days, when we had a day off stuck here and Nikki and I decided to have a date night over in Downtown when we were still together. The other times, he'd make sure we all weren't in town for longer than a day.

I was only grateful I have Heather with me since the guys were going to be travelling to the next town, or this would have been unbearable as hell.

"Hey," Heather's voice spoke, pulling me from my thoughts as I looked over. "I ordered room service. They have your favorite here, so I got it for you."

I smiled. "Thanks, Heather. And thanks again for coming with me. You must have been busy as hell."

"Pfft, no worries. I had upcoming vacation days before the honeymoon anyway," she smiled as she waved her hand down. "Two days in the next state over isn't gonna kill me or anyone at work."

I smiled at her.

"Besides, you're one of my best friends," she smiled as she reached over and held my hand. "Who am I to leave you at a time like this?"

I smiled as I gripped her hand. "Thank you.."

We then walked back in to watch some TV and wait for our food.

"So, aside from your parents, anyone else ever give you a hard time in your family?" she asked curiously.

"Honestly, not much," I sighed. "My parents didn't always take me to family members homes and reunions and stuff... Barely even got to see any of my cousins..."

"That's so sad... How come?" she asked.

"My aunts and uncles, even my grandparents would always judge how they raised me... Say they were too strict and hard on me, and not letting be a kid at all, that they weren't fair..." I said. "They thought everyone was wrong and figured I was better off with only me and my mother and father, so they cut off everyone... Kept me from everyone."

"God..." she said in shock. "I'm gonna guess you running away pissed the living hell out of them."

"Livid," I scoffed. "They didn't even know I was in California until a while after I was married with Nikki. Even though we've been in magazines before while at parties and stuff, our drunken eloping was big news. They were obviously not happy that I was with him at the time... God only knows how they would have reacted with Razzle and me moving to London with him at the time...."

"Well, maybe Vince is right," she said. "Maybe you coming to this funeral will give you a chance for closure, and maybe you'll also get a chance to properly and officially say goodbye to this part of your life before moving on."

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah... If I don't let them go, I'm probably never going to properly heal even a little..."

She nodded as then we hear a knock at the door.

"Room service," a voice chimed.

"Come on," she said. "Lets just enjoy our night with some chocolate cake, on me, and movies."

I laughed and nodded as she got up and scurried over to the door.

●the next day●

I watched quietly as they lowered the casket to the ground, Heather and I under the umbrella she held since it was slightly rainy, but barely a drizzle.

Nobody said a single word. Nobody cried, nobody even looked sad. Even the priest barely said much.

People carried blank looks on their faces, including my mother.

I guess being a cold-hearted man doesn't exactly grant you mournful responses from people...

"I guess its time we head to the wake," Heather whispered to me.

I nodded. "Yeah... I still don't see the point of holding it either way... Aside from the food and drink, I guess..."

She shrugged as she put her arm around me.

"Do you need a moment to... You know...?" she said.

I looked over at the grave and sighed.

"I might as well... Vince said this can give me some sort of closure... Help me heal one way or another..." I said.

She nodded. "I'll wait by the car..."

I nodded as I walked over while she headed to the grave, looking down at it, and sighed.

I was quiet for a while before speaking.

"I mean.... What do you want me to say? Rest in fucking peace? I'll miss you?" I scoffed. "I won't... I never did.... You were a horrible father... You ruined my life, you are the reason I couldn't even reconcile with my husband. Your fucking actions made me fear him when I had nothing to be scared of before he found heroin!! Not Don, not even Nikki, but you!! You're fault!!"

It was obviously quiet as I grunted angrily, feeling tears as I paced a bit.

"You know, even as a little girl, I knew you didn't love me.... You wanted a boy, and ended up with me instead, then Mom didn't want anymore kids, or probably couldn't have anymore after what I found out, and you just had to put up with my existence," I snapped. "We all knew the damn truth."

I looked back at the grave.

"You and Mom, the worst parents ever, right next to the Ferrana's!" I snarled. "To me.... I didn't lose a father.... Right now, the only father I have ever known is alive, fighting a disease that is slowly turning his bones to concrete, and actually cares about me, believes in me more than you ever did!!"

I glared back at the grave.

"You know, you've already been dead to me since you had no problems letting them pull the plug on me," I said. "So if anything, hope you're already enjoying Hell!!"

I then kicked one of the pipes used to lower his casket and let it land over it with a loud crash.

I then turned to leave, when I'm suddenly met with my mother's blank face and froze.

"Is that really what you think?" she asked, almost looking hurt.

Almost.

I sighed, fixing myself as I glared at her.

"Yeah... You broke your own god damn child..... Ruined your flesh and blood....." I snarled. "And for fucking what? Pride? Power over me? Make money out of my own life?"

"We wanted to give you a better futu-"

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT FUCKING CRAP!!" I shouted, making her jump. "You've kept me from EVERYONE in my family for almost my whole fucking life!! I don't even know who half of the people who showed up here are!!! I couldn't enjoy the parties I wanted to go to, the friends I wanted to be with, let along wanted at all!! The clothes I wanted to wear, the people I wanted to love, whatever I even wanted to eat, and if I didn't conform, I was shunned and sometimes even beated and berated or humiliated!! Hell, you almost even blamed me for getting my fucking skull smashed open by some psychopathic woman beater!!!"

She was quiet as I stepped up.

"And when I was doing well in classes, despite one single fucking point of a final I didn't even need to pass to graduate because I was practically in the fucking clear, you kept me from accomplishing my dream of being a doctor!! And when I left, you even went as far as to stalk me and force me to get a divorce, as if you still got a say in what I do even when I am far away from you!!"

"I am your mother, I always have a damn say in your life, whether you like it or not!!" she snapped.

"NOT ANYMORE!!!" I snapped, shoving her back. "I stopped being your puppet a long time ago, and over my dead body I'll EVER go back to it again!!"

She glared as I scoffed angrily, trying to calm down.

"You know... Nikki grew up mostly with his grandparents or a few foster homes... His mother was a drunk bitch who had a whole line of asshole stepfathers going around the block ready to use him as a punching bag while she did nothing about it except eat shit or join, and his real father walked out on him, wanted nothing to do with him even when Nikki found him years later.... And yet, compared to you and that bastard of a father I had, Nikki's parents were fucking golden..." I snapped.

She glared at me in horror as I stepped over.

"Coming here was a fucking mistake, I never should have come," I snarled, storming past her with a shove.

I walked off before I stopped, remembering something.

"Before I leave.....Did you know?" I suddenly asked. "That I could probably never have children?"

She was quiet as I turned around.

"See.... I had a miscarriage a few years back," I told her, facing her. "Not with Nikki, we had already broken up when it happened... It was another man, a good man, who I fell in love with... He died, unfortunately, in a car accident, but... I was pregnant, with his child... And I didn't even know until I suddenly lost the baby not long after his funeral..."

She was quiet.

"Did. You. Know!?" I snapped.

She kept being quiet before she sighed . "Its a genetic anomaly passed down among the women in my family... We're lucky if we can even bear one child full term... You were no exception, its a miracle you didn't die either..."

I glared at her as I shook my head. "You knew... You always knew, and you never told me, even when I was with Don expecting fucking grandkids.... That baby I lost was the baby of a man who is dead, who died so young!! I could have fucking prevented the pain being worse if you fucking told me, done something to fix me, or anything to keep it from happening!! That baby could have been that man's legacy, all that was left of him, and now.... Now he's gone, forever....!!"

She was quiet as I grunted, shaking my head as tears streamed down my face.

"Mallory... I'm sorry..." she said quietly. "I had no idea...."

"No, okay, its too fucking late to fix anything with some half-assed apologies!!" I snarled. "You ruined my life!! It'll be a fucking miracle if I ever make something out of myself in the future, let alone even have one to begin with!!"

She pursed her lips as I stood up to uer.

"You were never my mother.... You are dead to me.... Now more than ever...." I snapped. "Don't expect me to be there when its your turn to be worm food in Hell!!"

I turned around and stormed off to meet with Heather, taking her hand as I stormed off.

"Change of plans, we're leaving back home, tonight," I snapped as I held back tears.

"Wha-? What happened?" she asked.

"The reason I never want to come back here ever again," I said as I hailed us a taxi, and we climbed in, heading back to the hotel.

"Mal..." she spoke as the taxi drove.

"Yeah?" I asked as I wiped away the stray tear that fell, looking at her.

"I won't wont ask what happened, but... How do you feel?" she asked, holding my hand.

I sighed as I looked up.

"I feel good... But not better...." I said.

She frowned as she pulled me into a hug as I took a deep breath, clinging to her as we made our way back to the hotel to pack.

~~~~~

I feel like I could have done a little better with this chapter. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Eitherway, hope you all enjoyed it, and like the story so far! 🌻❤

📻Currently in Sapph's playlist:

Fall Out Boy ft. Tommy Lee
"Death Valley"

https://youtu.be/dX50r4WRmRw

♡~ sapphire.